NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Pochatok
-
Posts
767 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Pochatok
-
-
@DaBest Thank you so much! And, my profile pic is just matching my username, which is russian for "cob" haha
Day 30!!!
I am almost a month in babyyyyy~~~ Feels nice, given that I have not played any actual games in a long time nor I desire to; however, that is largely because I have no access to gaming... There are very few games I enjoy playing, and I will have to fight the urge to play once I come back home to my PC. We shall see, but what I can do right now is try to get my good habits up again.
Uhhh porn addiction on the other hand is incredibly annoying. I am definitely more successful than not, but fighting my urges still takes up a lot of concentration and time. I have to find some resources to help me make porn less appealing, and other things- more.
Other than that, today has been a pretty good day. I installed a second layer of blocking apps for social media since I have been spending more time on that than usual lately, and am looking forward to purchasing a blocking app for my phone, specifically for porn and social media.
Corny Wisdom of today:
- I am often not willing to spend money/time on things that will aid my side in the fight with addictions. I think that lack of will comes not from my lack of motivation, but from a very deep, very subtle dislike of myself. At times, when I am relapsing, I can almost hear a voice say "yay, I'm a failure", and it feels good, almost. A few things have been helping with this: Journaling about how I am important, how I matter to others and how I make/can make the life of other people better works well; however, the one thing I just discovered that helps tremendously(for me, at least) is being more honest and open with family/people who care about me about every time I feel like a "failure". There has not been a time when someone would reaffirm that feeling; rather, they would always provide support and reaffirm my value as a person. Acknowledging my struggle to others helps me acknowledge it to myself. However, there is the issue of people misunderstanding me or not taking me seriously, but oh well, this is already long lol
Good things from today:
- Practicing trombone actually felt valuable
- Starting a new painting is fun
- I began my application for a very awesome internship, this is so exciting!
- Working out outside brings me joy
- Showering in cold-ish water
- Japanese Chocolate
- Nightlight
- Kisses
Have a good weekend everyone, thank you for reading, reacting, and replying to this! Keeps me going and caring about this journal and the community 🙂
Love y'all,
Po
-
2
-
Journal Entry for Day 29
Missed a day yesterday. Was a somewhat productive day, I had quite a few issues with porn that persisted into today. I need to find a way to care about the benefits of free-porn life more somehow. Right not there is not enough motivation to quit. Very annoying, but I will find a way to make things better!
Besides that, yesterday was somewhat eventful. I had some meetings online, and went shopping with my partner. I started a new painting, discovered a few internships for the summer(I'm so excited for that!), and did a lot more stuff with GarageBand, which I simply LOVE.
Corny Wisdom of the Day:
- One of the reasons I often struggle to quit gaming/porn and other things is not because I am not passionate about other things in my life; I am simply not passionate enough. Finding daily sources of inspiration helps greatly. So for painting I browse Artstation, for music- Youtube and talk to fellow musicians, etc.. Finding more joy in the real world helps, and when I can't, I simply watch some inspirational movies, or read cool success stories that remind that I am, too, enough, and that I can, too, succeed at whatever I want to succeed at 🙂
-
2
-
Try explaining the situation you are in to your sibling. Let them know that once the 90 day detox is over, you could play again, and maybe try to encourage them to follow your path? In case your sibling is supportive, that will be a great way to keep your detox up. In case they won't get it, don't get into a fight with them. Just let them know that you can not play right now because you believe that gaming is harmful to you, and ask if they would like to play anything else instead.
I second @Bugg: Some games may not be as problematic as others. Playing terraria with my gf did not cause me to relapse, but playing Overwatch with a friend totally would. I recommend you journal/think about what games will not cause a relapse, if there are any in the first place. Be very honest: if any gaming in general can cause things to get worse, then so be it. There are many more ways to spend time socializing with your sibling.
Hope this helps,
Po
-
Agree with @hemonkey- going "cold turkey" and simply deleting your account/games would be a very helpful thing. The desire to play is often very strong, and suddenly quitting games completely will help you get back in control of your urges and your actions more so than trying to "moderate" or "play less every day".
Additionally, try to figure out not why this game matters so much, but why other things do not seem as important. When I was struggling with games and could't stop playing, it was mainly because there was nothing in my life that I was more passionate about than video games. Figure out if you lack passion for other things in your life, and if you do- then why, and how to get more of that passion. There is a lot of books on this topic that you could start reading, and I also recommend you check out GameQuitters Youtube channel. DM me about books if you are into that, I can share some pdfs 🙂
Cheers,
Po
-
Day 27
Today has been still very rough. I relapsed with porn, and gaming-related social media is taking up even more time. Today was very stressful because of that. Yesterday I was very productive, but today has suffered in terms of productivity quite a bit. I still got plenty of things done, but could have done much more. Overall, I am not very happy with today, although I did my best to stay on top of the more important things.
Things that were good today:
- Painting. Although my current project is turning out poorly overall, it was a very meaningful process that helped me discover new things.
- Reading. I've read a lot today, and most of it made me happier.
- Food. Too salty. Very tasty. Love Ramen.
- Working out outside on the balcony. Fresh air is life.
- Watching anime with my partner.
- Grey's Anatomy being at least somewhat enjoyable lately, though the dialogue is back to adorably awkward. Uhh what a show.
- Music. Garage Band is such an awesome way to output my creativity.
Tomorrow I hope to...
- control myself better, and find ways to help myself effectively
- learn more art, don't just do art
- be productive with the meetings I will conduct
- stay on top of emails and small responsibilities
- send some nice pictures to my grandparents while they are still alive. My grandma is very sick all of the sudden, who knows how much more time she has here.
- be kind, be aware and learn from my mistakes/my bias/my successes. Be metacognitive.
Have a good Thursday everyone(wow it's thursday already)
@YasnoSolnishko I see you >:)
-
1
-
Day 26!
Can't believe I am so close to a full month on this site. This reminds me: I still have so much improvement to make regardless social media and porn. Today has been much better in those regards, but I am also very inconsistent. I need to find a new source of motivation, and soon grrrr
Other than that, it has been a great day. I got a lot of things done that I am happy about, and am making more and more progress with Garage Band and my personal Journalism Project.
Good things:
- Crab Rangoons at 11PM
- My partner 🙂
- Vacuuming
- Jumping on the stairs. I love jumping.
- Playing Trombone
- Making presents for friends
- Playing with my partner's kitten.
Have a good Wednesday everyone, and stay safe!
-
1
-
54 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:
But I want you all to watch what I'm doing. I'm not going to play hours and hours of video games, watch porn, or anything like that to escape my pain.
I think that is a very goof intention, but please be careful! At times, the pain may be too much for your brain/body to manage, even if you might think or feel otherwise. Excessive pain can be traumatizing- I developed a phobia for knives by not treating my wound from the cut properly. If you are having any urges to "escape", don't ignore them completely; when I feel like watching porn, I instead go read a book or a comic. That helps me lower stress without quitting the reality completely. Take care of yourself!
Have you ever read "Untamed"? I suggest you check it out, just for fun 🙂
Po
-
2
-
-
It's day 25 and also my 100th post on here, yay yay! The last few days have been long and wild, but mostly in good ways. I drew for maybe 4 hours today, and most of it was very productive and enjoyable. Not feeling like I am improving all that much currently, so I will take some time to learn before getting to painting tomorrow.
Showerthought: What would be the name of the baby if the parents were jam and jelly?
Thankful for:
- Painting
- Getting shit done
- Not relapsing with porn
- Spending good time with my partner
- Food
- Reading as a way to lessen stress(instead of watching porn)
- My neck hurting grrrrr
- Garage Band
Tomorrow I wish to:
- Learn how to paint landscapes more- focus on atmospherics.
- Do more Garage Band
- Be on top of my work
- Spend quality time with my partner
- Take care of myself physically
- Finish presents for a friend 🙂
Have a good Tuesday everyone. You're all awesome 💜
Po
-
11 hours ago, A New Man said:
Day 58.
Had to go to my previous house to organize things a bit, since I'm going to give the keys back to the owner tomorrow.
I'm happy!
Nice
-
1
-
-
On 12/12/2020 at 11:05 PM, Jason70 said:
This entry reminded me how we grow out of habits. For example, i used to love arts and crafts and now i don't really do it. Realized if that's the case we can grow out of gaming!
So thank you
Jason
Haha you are welcome! I am very much analytical, which is both rewarding and harmful, when it comes to change of habits/patters in my lifestyle. I think I am growing out of porn because I am living with my partner, and so am more socially active and have less privacy at the same time. With social media, I simply turned it into a source of inspiration for my other passions, by following artists and musicians that I like. With gaming, uhhh... I'm just trying not to think about it lol. So far, nothing really replaces gaming to me as an activity, although I am happy with how things are.
Alrighhttttt, sorry for such a wall of text!
Day 24!
Today was very long, but in a good way. I learned a lot of things, and got a lot done as well. Tried out Garage Band, made me very happy and excited hehe.
Good things:
- My partner
- Embroidery is going okay!
- Drawing has been super fun, even though challenging
- Weather is nice
- Dim Sum is Yum Yum
- pets are adorable
Tomorrow I want to continue learning painting, and be on time with all of my meetings and other stuff on the to-do list.
Have a good week everyone, let's try to start it well!
Po
-
1
-
DAy 23:
Today was very lengthy. Still up looking at a bunch of games all the time. I think the reason I am unable to get rid of this habit is the lack of time I give it. I should read more! Also, relapsed with porn, but it only reminded me how sad and unappealing I find it all now. Porn is just not for me anymore.
Good things from today:
- I drew a lot, that feels good
- Read a bit. I love reading
- Worked on a gift for my partner
- Stayed Hydrated
- went outside when it was raining.
Things I want to do tomorrow:
- Read more
- Eat healthy
- Drink water healthy
- Study German
- Try recording with GarageBand? Make music!
- Be kind and loving. Don't just spend time of others, take care of them
Have a good Sunday peeple!
-
1
-
Day 22
Today was very productive and I overall enjoyed it, though need to hold myself more in check with social media. I should read something inspirational I suppose.
Grateful for:
- Bubble Bath
- Mushroom Soup
- Embroidery
- My lacking social skills
- Making art
- The 10 people who liked my post on Instagram
Goals for tomorrow:
- Be productive
- Stay away from gaming social media
- Make presents for loved ones 🙂
- Read stuff to help myself stay away from relapsing in games and porn
- Be kind
Have a good Saturday everyone, hope you are doing well!
Po
-
Day 21
Slowly catching up. Monday and Tuesday I was very tired ad just overwhelmed with things, Wednesday I began settling into the usual routine, and today was fairly good in terms of getting stuff done. Still have lots more to do, but I do enjoy allowing myself to get behind and just enjoy life for once, even though it feels like I can not afford it. I can, I really hope so.
Things I am grateful for today:
- Living with my partner
- Making Art
- Practicing trombone, even though it is not very fun. I love music
- Being outside, even though I didn't catch sunlight
- Talking to people
- Zoom connection being very fine today
Things that I'm unhappy about:
- Me wasting time on social media when I could have been doing so many other things
- Getting into arguments with my partner
- Lack of exercise
- Overeating
- Watching too much TV.
I hope that tomorrow will be more balanced overall; I want to feel accomplished both in personal, social, and academic aspects. I also hope to resume making presents for the people I love 🙂
Have a good weekend everyone, and stay away from those Cyberpunk 2077 news heh
-
NOooooooo I missed an entry!
First then, I shall do an entry for yesterday:
DAY20
Today was fairly fun, even though there were quite a few things I didn't get to complete.
Grateful for:
- Walk to the Michigan Lake beach
- Crab Rangoons
- Other awesome food
- Grey's Anatomy is fun
Things that sucked:
- Not getting a lot of stuff done
- Being on social media quite a bit, looking up all that gaming stuff.
- Getting frustrated with art
Showerthought: Global warming is too real this year
I shall journal about today once it has mostly passed. Have a good Thursday everyone!
-
DAY 19
Miss people stopping by over here, but at the same time I reduced my own presence here by a lot because I am living with my gf again, and that has been fun but time consuming the last two days. Either way, hope to start getting productive again soon, and be more active here as well 🙂
Things I am grateful for, today:
- Being with my partner, I missed her a lot
- My new haircut
- Gamequitters
- My lack of productivity. It's good to just allow myself to not be productive in usual ways- after all, I spend all that time making someone happy. That's good, I like to think heh
- Board games!
- Reading in Russian
- Breathing fresh evening air
- Dim blue lights
- Art masterclasses
- great food
Goals for tomorrow:
- Be productive, but in different ways
- Spend plenty of time with my partner
- Check in with family
- Read and learn!
- Don't let my urges control me, that never lets to good things. Let my urges guide me towards a conscious choice, nothing more.
Have a good day, everyone reading this!
-
1
-
I think being a barista is pretty cool, even just the title sounds so awesome! Glad you are doing so much better 🙂
Po
-
Hey Lampshade, hope you are feeling better by the time you read this! I just relapsed a few days ago too, I also think it's a good mistake to learn from, rather than a shameful failure bleh. What has helped not relapse anymore since though is thinking about all the triggers when I relapsed(I was stressed out, I was tired, it was late at night...) and trying to avoid getting in similar situations; or, if I do, trying to react differently to those triggers.
Dunno if you needed any of this advice at all, you're actually pretty cool and seem to know what you are doing haha.
I hope good things happen for the rest of the week,
Po
-
2
-
-
DAY 18
Yesterday went pretty well overall, even though I had to postpone my trip to Chicago to today. I had some strong urges to game, even installed the game, but ended up keeping myself so busy I couldn't find time to actually play. For the next 12 days, I'll have no access to any type of gaming so yay! The urges have been strong overall lately, this should help reduce them.
Things I am grateful for from yesterday:
- Playing joking hazard with friends, again
- Being busy
- Cleaning up my physical and virtual spaces
- Resisting a lot of urges
- Staying positive 🙂
- Hanging out and talking to my dad and other family members.
No point of making goals for today since I'm journaling at 9pm, so instead...
Things I am grateful for from today:
- Safe and quick trip to Chicago
- NAKED protein shakes yum
- Relationships
- Finishing Season 2 of the Boys, yehaaw
- not forgetting anything besides money for the trip lol
- my partner 🙂
Have a good rest of the week everyone, hope you are doing well!
Po
-
Day 17
I relapsed yesterday... but it felt great! That was probably the first time I did not feel bad while/after playing games. There was a bit of "you could have done something else" thought hovering over my head for some time, but I think it was worth it. I played at the very end of the day, when the rest of my family was asleep, and the only things left to do were make presents for my partner and one other friend, which I still have a ton of time for. Overall, it just felt more or less "deserved", plus I actually just played for fun, like for the first time ever. It was actually relaxing rather than challenging or stressful.
However, I will have no access to games for the next 2 weeks, and then will still try to stay clean until February, when I have a small break during my 2nd Term of School.
Things I am grateful for from yesterday:
- Trader Joe's Thai Chai Mocha Ice Cream
- National Geographic's latest editions
- Water
- My partner and our shared friend
- Joking Hazard
- Talking to someone (online) in Russian for the 1st time in 3-ish years.
Goals for today:
- Get everything done on time, don't waste a minute. I have some important deadlines to meet.
- Stay physically active. Still body=head empty
- Be busy, but don't forget to rest
- Be in control of my urges and my thoughts. Know what's important.
Have a good Sunday everyone, you got this!!!!
-
Glad studies are going well! I hope you aren't focusing too much on that though; I know how good it feels to be doing excessively well in studies, but that can take up a lot of time that you could spend doing other cooool things in you life 🙂
-
1
-
-
Woah, so happy that this turned out so well so quickly for you 🙂 No matter how well or how poorly things go in the future, just keep us updated! It means so much to hear about your ~life journey~ you know)
Cheers!
Po
-
1
-
-
Hii hamster, welcome to the forum! Looking forward to seeing your journey unravel 🙂
Po
-
2
-
-
Day 16
Not starting out the best. Some sad things personally, and also I got frustrated with drawing a rock in the morning. A rock lmao. Never know where I'm gonna fail next. Hope to make some people happier today, and can't wait to see my partner tomorrow.
I noticed that my biggest urge to reinstall a game comes when I am stressed out. Same for porn and other things I am used to think of as "relaxing". Most of them I developed such a sense of disgust to, that they are rather stress-inducing. What helps me relief stress, like actually, is thinking of people I like/look up to who have some nice "success stories". Reminds me where I want to be and what I should do to get there- definitely not play games.
Showerthought: The texture on my wall looks so smooth and flowy, but if I touch it's so rough and dry Eww
Grateful for yesterday:
- Fermented Juice
- Composing
- My partner
- Sweet foods and Oatmeal
- Reading about WW2
Goals for today:
- Be careful socially. Be kind.
- Learn art. Take a break from output, switch to input.
- Stay hydrated
- Be on top of important tasks. Don't walk away from my responsibility.
- Deal with stress properly.
Stay safe everyone!
-
Woah, sounds like you're making a ton of progress in so many areas right now, big congrats! Reading this entry reaffirmed my willpower not to relapse tonight on any of my habits, thank you!
-
2
-
Ending the Loop
in Daily Journals
Posted
Day 31
Today there were a lot of reminders about how nice life is. Had breakfast with my gf's parents, and it was very tasty and wholesome. Learned flute together with my partner, and even recorded a small song together. Currently, I am slowly working on my resume for a very awesome summer internship I hope i get into.
Not So Corny(Apparently) Personal Wisdom:
Good things from today:
Have a good weekend everyone!
Po