Pochatok

Why do you think acne is such a worrisome issue for you? I suffered from the same anxiety; it went away, though I still get acne all the time (though I've been able to improve the situation through eating foods that work well for me). What helped was realizing and accepting that no one but me really cares much about the acne much; that took me a long time, but this mindset shift really helped! Po

Ohhh I feel this struggle so much haha. Any projects worth sharing at the moment? Sharing my work with others has helped me greatly with the perfectionism anxiety since I see that no matter how flawed I perceive my work to be, others will find it beautiful.

Played some more today- about 40 minutes total. Fairly unrewarding- though I feel like playing some games does improve certain skills like stress management, planning, and ability to react calmly, I feel like there are better ways in which I can achieve the same result. I am glad that I am leaving to Lithuania tomorrow, and will not keep the game installed once I return- I must admit that I do not have the capability on my own to refrain from gaming; but simply uninstalling all games completely is enough!

Into Week 26 Woop woop! My sister has been playing games on my PC and I installed her one of the games that I used to play myself and... I relapsed. I played for about 20 minutes total yesterday and the day before. However, I really do not feel like playing video games- the thought of "what else can I do with my time" appears as soon as I launch the game. At the moment, I am completely disinterested in gaming. Yes, there are urges, but I feel so much more excited about doing other things, some of which have been: Working on my huge summer projects- they will impact thousands of people across many different schools 😮 I'm really excited to see where they go, and feel very lucky to be able to work on such a scale on my own. Learning Animation in Blender- though I have not yet started animating per se, I've been learning lots of technical aspects of animation within this software, and it's soo fun! Making Music- practicing my instrument has never felt more rewarding, and I am actually wanting to practice every day. I hope to continue to work on the smaller projects I have been working on, and perhaps start making bigger things in the near future. Making other art- I'm currently also working on a painting and a tattoo design. I do not have much recent experience with either, so it has been fun to (re)learn these processes. However, there have been some setbacks and challenges in the last week, that perhaps have contributed to my relapse: Pornography has been an issue again- I've been relapsing more and more frequently, though for the next 3 weeks I will definitely stay clean cuz I'll be travelling heh Time Management- I am productive overall, but not nearly enough efficient with my time to get done all the things I wish to get done. Almost every day, something gets left out 😞 Relationships- I have had two agressive outbreaks towards my parents, both of which were unreasonable and regretful: I would accuse my parents of something, or assume that I have specific knowledge to fix an issue within my family, but would be immediately rebuttled by all my family members (cuz my arguments didn't really make sense). It is really hard to admit at times that I am still not very knowledgeable of certain topics, and that there is still a lot of things I do not understand. I do hope to continue to grow though, and prevent more of such outbreaks. Other than that, it has been a good time! I am going to Lithuania tomorrow, and today is my sis' BD!

Woah, glad you were able to make such a turn with PUBG! Glad you are making more connections, too 🙂

Just wanted to journal because the last few days have not gone the way I'd like them to. Time to analyze and try to improve the way I am spending my time, gaining motivation and inspiration, and etc etc. How I am spending my time lately: The last few days I've been getting most of the things on my to-do list done, but that would often be it- anything not on the list would be likely brushed aside. I did not practice trombone for awhile, paused exercise, and avoided cooking (in favor of chips), among other tiny things. Today, I've definitely made some progress in how productive I am, but I am feeling like my poor habit of getting myself easily distracted and losing a sense of time (I can spend ten minutes on Youtube thinking it was two). How I am attempting to improve productivity: One of the things I've already attempted was to change my workplace- I am now residing upstairs, with a lot of daylight, more people present around, and my workdesk is no longer in the very corner of a room. This has helped me stay focused and not be distracted for longer periods of time(though I have still lost time on YouTube). I am also trying to keep my posture better- it has been worsening the last few days, and, in general, I stay productive as long as my posture is good (and vice versa). Getting back into routine tasks is important too- I need to focus on things that I am doing for my own wellbeing, every day. Not something like washing dishes, but watching an animation tutorial or recording a song. Not sure how actually helpful it is, but there are some things I can/should be doing every day but am not. Journal more often, and try to allow more moments of stillness. The last few weeks, when I'd be eating, I would not be doing anything else; I would have time to think and reflect on my recent past, and enjoy the food. Now, I am back to watching or reading while eating, while journaling is slowly fading away (yet again). I need to give myself more intentional times of stillness throughout the day, and also dedicate time to journal. Since this is a pretty small list of things so far, I also will try to read more often, as reading is the one thing that certainly keeps me curious and interested in the real world, and fuels many of my passions. I need a source of knowledge and excitement that will help me stay very awake during the day. What to watch out for: One of the current struggles is porn, again. I've journaled plenty on this topic elsewhere already, and I think that a lot of it has to do with other issues, which are all linked to an uneventful life- I do not have many goals to achieve in a clear timeline, few deadlines, and even fever events to partake in. I should focus on having something to achieve for every day of the week, and plan out goals for the week ahead, too. I think I will do that on my current software for planning and organization; I have been already doing it, actually, but not consistently enough. Hopefully this will lead me to some advances! I guess that's all 🙂

I second this so much! Only focusing on milestones often hurts the process, and picking the right milestones, too, is quite important. For me, my gaming addiction was severely difficult to overcome until I changed my goal from "not playing games" to "doing something instead of playing games". Making sure that I am focusing on quality before/prior to quantity in all activities (that is, learn how to do something efficiently and then move onto improving productivity) is one of the most important and yet difficult things in shaping my own success and career heh. Some author (Kettl, if you're curious), once said that "the mission drives behavior", and focusing on results is more important than the process. However, I believe that some (simpler) goals require a focus on the process to be achieved (such as "I want to run a mile in 6 minutes"), and other (more complex) goals themselves modify your process as you focus on them (I want to become a Musician). Sorry for flooding your personal journal, this was a thought that I really wanted to add to 🙂

Heh, I get the same thrills now from doing sports and making art, though it's not as exciting (cuz I don't expect it to be). I've never actually thought that the excitement from gaming was something I do not have in my life much anymore, but now that you've brought this idea forward, I feel like a lot of my activities here and there have gotten slightly more fun over time 🙂 Thank you!

There is actually plenty of hydration-focused apps out there if you need to keep that H2O going: https://www.healthline.com/health/hydration-top-iphone-android-apps-drinking-water#aqualert

Oh shoot! I am glad that you were able to reflect, but I do think that having a meaningful relationship with someone from another country is difficult. Hope it will go the best direction possible!

and it's WEEK 24! 6 month streak yaaaaaaaaaaaaasss I am grateful to/for: A loving family. Every time I have been returning home since last summer, things have been improving little by little. There is surely a million issues everywhere within our family, but some of them are finally getting worked on/are improving. I can finally say that I am enjoying being at home along my family (though I believe that my attitude has changed as well, and I am more caring and passionate towards my family members). Good things from last week: I am enjoying living in the basement because it is just the right temperature. Upstairs is a hotdog. I finished the year with all As, and was able to land 100% on one exam. I feel super happy that my professors have been quite supportive and accommodating during this term and helped me make this happen (and big thanks to my partner, who is most supportive human ever lol)! I am, overall, doing pretty well and not wasting much time. I have stopped watching my TV show, have been reading more (for fun, woah), and am getting nearly all of the things I want done on time. I overworked during last weekend as the year was ending and I had sooo muchhh work to do as an RLA. Yet, it was a joyful time during which I connected to a lot of people and did a lot of good things. It was nice. Challenges: I still need to work on my discipline. Getting out of bed late is one thing (and honestly beneficial in some ways), but I have to work on doing the right things at the right time (for example, I did not practice my instrument in the morning and now might be unable to practice it for the rest of the day cuz there are other things in the way). Not relapsing with some bad habits is not easy at the moment. Campus environment is more socially isolative, yet also more encouraging. At home, it is more easy to succumb to my habits since my partner and friends aren't around, and things are a bit slower, uncomfortable, and messier, which does get me stressed out in a more "triggering" way. I think I will adjust to this over time. Proper rest needs to be worked on again! Being at home, I feel like I can not really rest (which is partially true, there are sooo many things to do honestly). However, I need to keep my eating, sleeping, and short-resting habits clean, free of distractions and as stress-free as possible. Goals for next week (italicized= from last week): Continue learning how to rest I've made some setbacks here; need to continue to learn to treat myself better Connect with people 🙂 I've made some improvements, but I still do not reach out to some friends as much as I ideally want to. I can be a better friend 😮 Start composing, but better 😆 do not have time for this at all, sadly. Perhaps later in the summer? Work on my discipline Stay more self-aware during passive activities. Don't avoid cooking when needed. Lazy ass. This is it for this week, thank you @Ikar and @BooksandTrees for stopping by!

Heh, that is true! But, I am consistently trying to improve my discipline, and getting out of bed on time is the one thing I can not force myself to do (hence my concerns about it- I feel like it messes with my routine). Recently, I've decided to change the goal to "getting out of bed earlier than the day before", and it works much better- I wake up around the same time every day, but get out of bed 10-15 minutes earlier every day. My goal is to start waking up at 6AM by next week- everyone in my family wakes up very early and I need to keep up with them in order to have a productive day heh. I appreciate your input greatly, once again!

Haha yes, I have thought of it! There are lots of reasons; the primary ones are lack of sex (health reasons between me and my partner), and in general porn functioning as a stress relief for me. I've found ways to satisfy/deal with both of these reasons without porn, and recently I have crossed the two week mark heh. However, I think that porn will continue to be something I struggle with for some more time, but I also have been seeing more and more improvement with it every week. Next habit to break: picking my acne/face in general and scratching my head. Thank you for checking in @Ikar

Haha sure! My favorite tutorial channel is ArtProf; it is what got me to leave discord, twitter, and other gaming communities actually. They have tons of live stuff happening all the time on YouTube, so you can chat with the educators there; likewise, they have a discord channel (with an amazing community!) that has a lot of resources within it as well (there is also some patreon-only chats that you can gain access to if you are willing to support ArtProf with $$$). Other than that, I love angrymikko's channel- he is a very kind and passionate person, and his tutorials teach some very unique things that other artists rarely go over enough. He is a large source of inspiration to me. Lastly, I draw a lot of inspiration for animation specifically from komugiko2000 (insta or tiktok is where they post their stuff). They do not have any tutorials per se, but there is so much to learn from simply analyzing how they do animation. I am the kind of learner that likes to break down artworks of other artists and understand what and how they do, rather than learn from a textbook. I like discovering things on my own 🙂 Hope this helps! Even if you are not an artist, these three people are really cool anyways >_<

Happy Birthday and welcome to the forums! I totally relate; in fact, my entire gaming addiction started with that game. My recommendation to you is to go read other people's daily journals, and specifically zoom in on the reasons they decided to quit (and decided to play games in the first place). Then, try to reflect about those reasons on your own- why do you play games, how do they help you get through the day? Once you are able to answer these questions, you will be able to move forward and search for activities that could replace gaming. Also, try to look for support groups in real life, and disconnect from (or try to reconvince) people who could encourage you to keep gaming. It is very difficult to overcome this on your own, so try to seek help from people around you as much as you can. If you are curious, this is how I overcame my addiction: I replaced YouTube gaming videos with cool animations and art tutorials (I am an artist, and watching those is inspiring), as well as volleyball games (my favorite sport heh). I replaced discord gaming communities with first gaming photography communities (so I would play games and be learning how to make cool pics) then with discord art communities (cuz I found out that people in those were far more interesting to me than people in gaming), and then with making more real-life friends. Welcome, and best of luck on your journey! GameQuitters will support you along the way 🙂

Love the attitude, and congrats on finishing up your finals! Stay safe and enjoy re-connecting with your classmates 🙂

Yes, good people still exist. Thank you so much for mentioning me! I'm so happy I can make a difference in your life 🙂 However, i am definitely not the only good person you could be talking to. Though it is difficult to be able to find like-minded, supportive people (both online and in real life), I do encourage you to try to connect more! There's a big difference between trying something and doing something. Oh I second this so much! Ever since I stopped saying "I will try to do __" and instead go with the "do", I have felt so much more confident and determined in my every activity. Just found a good article on this: https://medium.com/@ImprovRefinery/there-is-no-try-2396c275e407 Limit of 3 Procrastination Days Hmmm! I remember doing something similar, and it got out of hand- simply allowing myself to fail or to fall behind would be setting me up for additional failure. In my situation, "allowing" myself to procrastinate would be my addiction's defensive mechanism: it would help me feel less bad about doing the things I do not enjoy (however, I still would regret procrastinating in the long run, even if it would be "allowed"). Instead, making the goal of not procrastinating at all helped me get over it, as it would remind me that it is never "okay" to spend my time this way, because [reasons]. However, that's just my situation! It all depends on how you define procrastination, and how well you are able to discipline and control yourself. Proper rest is always good 🙂

Hi everyone who still reads my journal, here is another entry for you ❤️ WEEK 23 It's finally summer- today is the first day after finals, and I am chilling. I've been both lazy and productive, just doing the things that are necessary and/or I am passionate about. Soon, I'll have more on my hands and will be pretty much on my usual work schedule. Here's to the rest of the week, I suppose? I am grateful to/for: a less stressful finals week this term, it was nice to finish the term without too much stress. Hayao Miyazaki for writing the manga Nausicaa from the Valley Of The Wind. Just finished it, and it was so amazing all the way through that it inspired me to start another art project. Lifechanging! the fan in my room. It's so hot outside! Good things from last week: I have not relapsed with porn for over a week; hope to be able to go for more than two weeks this time. I am going abroad this summer, for the first time in 3 years 😮 Fingers crossed things will go well. It's been not too bad overall. I'm productive, passionate about various things, and only a bit lonely (my partner is going away for a couple weeks). I've been trying to spend more time resting- not looking at a screen while eating, going outside, or laying on the bed without doing anything, for example. It definitely has helped me self-reflect more and fuel my passions. I am not super comfortable with this yet, but I'll continue to push myself in this direction. Challenges: Porn is no longer difficult to keep at bay, but now I am having trouble... eeek... keeping good eye contact with people. I think it has to do with the fact that it is summer and more people are wearing open clothes, but at the same time I am overcomplicating the whole process of making eye contact. It has been getting better day by day but I need to keep improving more! Loneliness is hitting up at times. As someone who does not have very close friends (or friends that I talk on a daily basis to), there are moments when I suddenly experience high stress for seemingly no reason. Given that I (for reasons) do not really notice or feel "lonely" most of the time, I think that these sudden moments of stress can be attributed to lack of socializing. Well, gonna be home soon, lots of people to see there 🙂 I have trouble getting up when I want in the morning. I still do, but damn it's a struggle! That is slightly odd given how many things there are for me to look forward to. Perhaps, when I am about to go to sleep, I should write those things down so I can remember them right away upon waking up? Goals for next week: Continue learning how to rest Try to find more care/passion for the things I need to do. Connect with people 🙂 Stay hydrated Learn animation more! Start composing, but better 😆 Make more goals- find things I enjoy and really focus on them Read more! Well, that is it for this week! I hope to be around here a bit more to support y'all, summer is a tough time for gamequitting. Po

Heck yes, keep that attitude! I am totally following your journals, they brighten up my day, or at least make a good relaxation session 🙂 What you are choosing to share is very valuable to people who are completing a similar journey!

Stay strong! I think I have been having a lot of issues with discipline and overall feeling very stressed but also mentally drained, and all those things together have triggered a relapse. I have failed to acknowledge a large problem coming my way and it hit me really hard the last few days. Discipline is something I lack in many areas of my life still, but hope to improve and become unstoppable like you @BooksandTrees :')

Welp, who could have known: I relapsed with porn today. I think that there were a lot of triggers that I have not really considered before; I have journaled and thought about the causes of the relapse for awhile and believe that I have found some solutions to prevent another relapse for at least two more weeks. No relapse is ever "okay" to happen if I want to truly get rid of an addiction, but I need to continuously acknowledge that there is a possibility of them happening. There is no "tipping point" without a proper amount of work. I need to put more time and effort into dealing with this addiction in order for it to be fully solved.

Week 22 I have been doing rather well over the last few days, but my tendency to loose balance during times of high success has shown up again. I have been reading Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind and have read over 900 pages worth of manga total over the last 6 days (which is a lot for me). Though I am truly enjoying reading, I certainly could have moderated myself better. Finals are still yet to be taken, and there is a lot of work I need to be doing, but my mental preoccupation with the manga takes away a lot of my time (a couple hours today alone). Throughout my life, inability to moderate continues to be around the root of my worst experiences, from gaming and porn addiction, to overdoing weightlifting and poor eating habits. I am not super sure how to approach the issue currently, but I've set a goal of journaling for 10 minutes every day after dinner as a method of finding a possible solution. Journaling is one of the few things still missing from my daily schedule, and something that has been genuinely helpful in the past. Other than that, reading the manga has had a profound artistic and personal effect on me. The narrative is incredibly moving, and the context and history surrounding the manga and its author, Miyazaki, has given me great creative inspiration and changed (yet again) my artistic priorities and social goals. Despite the fact that I've read it far too quickly, there is a lot of takeaways that will stick with me for a while. Excited to be starting a summer truly unlike any other, without porn or gaming addiction hovering over my head, and to fill the upcoming months with exciting projects and lots of self-improvement. Hope you are well, Po

Thank you! I agree, porn is a difficult one, but it seems like I am finally at a breaking point; I have not watched porn in two weeks and am not intending to anytime soon. Nope, and I can't really get one, but I am honestly okay. It's been very nice weather the last few days, and the issue at the core is not my intolerance of heat, but how I react to it: rather than getting more comfortable right away, i try to "stay focused" and work until I get too uncomfortable. I need to improve my response time, and then the problem should be bettered.

Week 21! Not much happening this week. I've been super busy with academics, this probably was one of the most stressful weeks in a couple months. There has been a small surge in video game development that caught my attention, but I feel like I am back on track with keeping myself interested in other activities. I really want to start painting again- I took a couple weeks off. Some of my current problems: One of the bigger issues has been distractions through social media. I do not think that this is a problem that has resurfaced for me; rather, I began noticing it. The weather is already getting too hot for me, and I can feel my productivity going down as the degrees go up. I work best when I am slightly colder than comfortable, and feeling too warm makes it difficult for me to focus. Hopefully I will figure something out for this as well. Progress: I am continuing my work on quitting porn. Only three relapses in the last four weeks. I have been improving at volleyball! It is a shame that we have only one game left, but I have been contributing to the team. My serves are very consistent, and last game I even managed to block a spike! Good things happening: Interview for a job went pretty well! I hope to get the position. I have helped complete a humongous project for one of my jobs, and that will earn me a good amount of coins hehe I have been exercising regularly for most of the past week. That's all for this entry! Hope you are continuing to try your best. Po

do you think that it is possible for you to do something/anything to turn "procrastination days" into "procrastination hours"? Often, rhetoric can heavily impact your ability to think and act; by seeing a whole day as "procrastination", I would certainly feel like that once I began procrastinating, it is impossible to stop. Actually, two summers ago, I was at some of the lowest points with my gaming addiction, and sometimes would call not just a day, but a whole week a "procrastination" week. The problem was that I would label the week that way when it was far from over; yet, because I would already label it this way, it was "okay" to procrastinate for the rest of the week. I hope that this example from my own life gives you a better understanding of my thinking, Po