Kad

Today was day 86 (officially now 87). I am going to make the 90 day detox soon yet this week I am running into problems. I am stressed and anxious and feel the pull to play although I have not felt the temptation in weeks. I am realizing that this need may always be with me or at least for a long time. I don't know if it is self-sabotage from the success around the corner or something else. It seems to be triggered with replacement my gaming laptop with a not one. Its like I am grieving or something. Did anyone else run into these kind of things and what did yawl do? I plan to not game after the 90 day cause I still have so much fixing/living in real life to do and I don't trust myself to be responsible with it. Is that the problem - the realization that my detox may be permanent? IDK. Someone posted about needed more post detox information and I would have to agree atm. Those on the mountain top did not get dropped there - it was the result of hard work to win that view!

As I near the end of detox, I had to address my gaming computers. I had an intense gaming set up and a powerful gaming laptop because I could not even go on vacation or anywhere without my games (In retrospect I can only shake my head). It was extremely hard to make the transition to a "normal" laptop and you are so used to power and speed its easy to "build" a gaming system in the walk away one! It was with some fear and sadness that I did it. I am still trying to feel secure with this choice but it is a symbol that my new life is permanent. I looked at what i needed/wanted and made the choice. I gave the gaming laptop to a family member who games as a limited leisure activity and their computer was dying. The gaming computer is moved to a room with net that can't support the rapid response needed for gaming. I am sure I am not the only one that knows to the millisecond the inherent lag in their set up. Time will degrade the viability of this system for gaming and right now I use it for activities I want multiscreens for.

I loved the article! Very well done and thanks for sharing!

I got a phone app to count the days and I love seeing the days go up offline! Grats on your road

Welcome! I found the first 1-2 weeks I could not do anything else either. I kept myself occupied and from going crazy by reading the workbook and watching Cam's videos. I also watched some rather painful documentary of people gaming and their lives. The one of second life was rather helpful as I watched them lose so much in real life. Those things keep me busy and set up the foundation to keep going with my detox. good luck

I found the mobile phone app works ok and the games are not playable there for me. Grats on beginning your detox

I too neglected my family & responsibilities for games. I missed a lot & the guilt & shame can hit hard. Accept your not perfect, learn why you derailed & DO Not attack yourself. Save that energy for what you want. I agree with the others to tell your wife your quitting & what is hard easy whatever. It's not like she does not know you had a game problem. You have been gone - not them & they saw it. It's a sign she has hope that she is telling you her feelings. My biggest support has been my family. Anxious- let's walk. Stress attack - lets do a puzzle etc walk into stores with gaming triggers - walk back out. Everyday - I tell my hubby it's day x of detox & its day x of a better life for us. You got this!

I learned not to take a hard line on peoples lifestyles because it is so hard to be in their shoes and have their perspectives. I think most things in moderation are fine. We are here because gaming for us did not work in moderation and the lives we wanted was not happening. I can drink alcohol without problem. I know recovering alcoholics who can't. It is their issue and not mine and my issue is not theirs. I feel anyone that has identified something that does not work for them and wants to remove it is choosing the best thing! I can support their choice and try to support them thru the hard points as was done for me. My gamer friends don't understand why I am doing what I am and even some of them are doing their best to support my choice even though they disagree. So long story short! Good luck on tackling two issues at once and I'm impressed at your courage and taking your life into control!

I'm still "moving" on from games in May!

Welcome fellow lurker! I entered the detox the way you did and I am now at day 70, I am the happiest I have been in years. Reconnected with my emotions and body in a healthy way. I am getting joy from so much and just glad my "rewiring" did not take the full 90 days or longer. Would not have mattered though...I was quitting this time and the other times were just warm ups!

I find anything that keeps your focus helps. In my personal journal i keep track of the days from a phone app. each morning. It sets the tone of my day and its fabulous that you have identified the risk times and have plans! You should be so proud of your plans for success! If you don't quite met your goals..evaluate the why in a non-judgemental learning way. This is a lifestyle your building and we are all good at finding better ways/strategies to get to our goals. It is only failure when you give up and stop trying.

committed

There is a website that uses levels for fitness called fitocracy...ie walk/run so far or lift weights etc and u get points and level. If u must see a "level" convert it to a healthy goal like they shared above. I break down the task I want into steps/levels that I need to accomplish mentally. So if u need to see a level, accept it and make it work for you.

Brene Brown is great to help with self-esteem and perfectionism issues. Her books are very healing from past pain/trauma. her most famous utube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o my favorite https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk enjoy

update - still off games on day 56! I don't know if its my rewiring working or not but a few days ago I realized I am going to make it. I am going to win and not play anymore. I have spent a couple of days 'watching" to see if that feeling is real and it is holding. I am not tempted by the new dark souls and wow thoughts turn my stomach (how did I play over 6 years). I have told my gaming friends I have quit. They can accept me as I am or not. I do still chill on steam chat etc with them. We discuss life, what are you doing now and politics etc. i have told them about this site. They talk about games and i find myself rather bored and its harder to hang with them. Not that I don't care or enjoy the conversation but I cant seem to sit still like that anymore. lol I am still committed to the 90 day detox thing but I am so damn grateful it is getting easier and I am finally not hanging on by my fingernails.

Hey, games were my safe haven from life too. Like yourself, I realized I was not in the warzone of my past but my coping/gaming patterns did not change. You have broke one addiction so you know the way and the same tools will help you. We tend to move our unhealthy coping strategies around from one habit to another until we finally learn to crawl on our own without a crutch. Then one day all we can do is stand and then one day we realize we are free and walk away. That journey is different for each of us all but we learn to make ourselves feel better and that our emotions/thoughts are not the enemy just information about what we need, worry about or want. We choose what we do and when....because we deserve it or its best for our plans etc. You are the things you say and awesome too. Believe it and then ask yourself, what does this awesome guy need? then let yourself know you deserve it and then start the crawl to it. Fix the problems in the way and celebrate your victories....like what you did with your post. Seeing what you want and seeking the path to get there. If you fall down...smile...go oops and get back up....cause this is living and sometimes its pretty and sometimes its not and it is always worth it.

Hey all, My story is like so many others although I'm at a later stage of life. I have a career and family. I found my first game thru my son, he was twelve and I was checking this online game, WOW to see if appropriate. It was fun...it was the beginning. For six years it has been my life with a few other games thrown in from time to time. The usual players, FF14, TOR, Dark Souls, Terraria. I was hardcore wow type and my raid buddies my social network. My life was work and game. It was fun, it was not and like so many others it was my stress release and my place to hide from life and it's pain. I have been aware for a long time I needed off game and was not happy there. My longest cold turkey attempt was 2 weeks...it was not pretty. I recognized that other areas of my life were a mess and I was learning and applying to strats to getting healthier in those areas. who knew research and practice works in real life too! I was working hard to conquer the fear of going anywhere by sheer determination...it gets easier over time. Fear won't kill you (or any emotion) it just makes you feel like you are dying. My gaming analogy - bad place in head, use an interrupt to stop the cycle, get your mind in the midst of it and use positive thoughts to walk through it. ie You got this, breath, just do your best and your best is pretty damn good. Etc. We gamers optimize strats and timing. It works in real life too. Anyway, in order to improve my fitness goals I had to attack my game time. Work, game...barely sleep for 6 six years. All I wanted was to cut down gaming to do 10-30 minutes of activity. You can do anything for just ten minutes and a great way to start what you are resisting. Apparently, you can't stop gaming for it when its pathological gaming. I was determined and coupled with my unhappiness on games. I turned them off on my own and was fine, initially. Was coming up on the 2 week point....stress increasing..work intense...coping down. Three weeks...still doing ok but maybe it's time to find some back up support solutions. Gaming buds are trying to get my interest back and I am not saying what I am really doing..I am quitting and afraid to fail. Proactive approach...been here before...knew what was coming..so I searched the internet and found Cam's stuff. I found the TED talk and moved onto respawn and it was all good. The extra vids are helpful. Been offline since Feb. 23rd...deleted games, deleted battlenet but I have steam up for chat although I deleted the games (we all know this stuff is easy to get back). Back to steam chat, not ready to cut that cord yet and leave those guys. Some will make the transition to real life...most won't. I know it but im not ready for it yet. I want my feet under me better for those losses. The mmorpgs that I gave my life too are not the problem, I am staying busy, I have my tasks/projects I am learning and working on with measurable goal and achievements. All great stuff from Cam. My life is working, it is real and some days it is really hard but it is better. I am reconnecting with my family and trying to build a real life social network. I am posting instead of lurking because I found a trigger, rather a surprising trigger tbh. My gamer buds linked me the trailor for dark souls 3. In the past we would play different classes and beat the game with its love/hate relationship most have with darksouls. I won - I love this game...dammit..i hate this game. It was never my main game...it is the one tempting me to go back online. The lies you tell yourself are there..it has limited replayability so not a serious problem. Its ok its not a MMORPG. It will be a test that my goals and changes are working etc. End of day it is not what I really want and it is not where I see myself in life...yet it still tempts. So I am posting my story, trying the mindfulness stuff to keep my mind off of it...limited success atm. I wonder is it like chocolate...you crave you allow a same bite. your satisfied and you move on? This is the longest I have been offline in 6 years....I don't want to fuck up my recovery and yet im tempted to play. I think it would be the slippery slope back and I am actively avoiding but it waits there every minute for me to yield even with what I have and what I am building. Let me know your thoughts on this please and thanks in advance.