MuMuMelon

Day 74 Went to visit my in laws today and had a mostly boring time. We never really get up to anything whenever we visit them. My father in law basically talks the entire time and everybody else sits around and listens with glossed over eyes. It's about as exciting as it sounds. Next time I go I'm bringing a book and some board games. I will suggest we play a game or something to pass the time but if he's not into that I will politely excuse myself and go read a book. My wife will understand. She's had enough of this drudgery herself. I got back about an hour ago so I really didn't do much today except politely listen to a man tell insanely boring stories. Sorry, not trying to complain but this shit is crazy. I'm a point in my life where If I'm not enjoying something I'll cut it out of my life. Really wishing I could cut these visits out of my life. The man is a colossal bore who seems to know everything and will talk at you for as long as you'll let him. Okay enough. No more negativity. Have a good night all. I hope quitting feels easy today.

Day 73 Yesterday (Day 72) was another lazy/recovery day. I went to get a massage in the morning but I spent the rest of the day visiting a good friend. We played some board games and spent the day relaxing. Today, while my back is still sore I do feel like I'm getting better. After talking to the massage therapist yesterday it has come to my attention that my back pain is actually being caused by my diaphragm. Ya see, the diaphragm is connected roughly to the middle of your back and when you do things like, strenuous breathing as it turns out, you can overwork it like you can any muscle. However, when you overwork your diaphragm is feels like somebody is stabbing you in the middle of the back and your whole back seizes up so you can't move for a few seconds. It's like being frozen in intense pain for a few seconds at a time. Fortunately, now that I know what the issue is I'm no longer terrified that I did some serious damage to my spine. I'm still going to closely monitor the situation but I think this will blow over soon. After I recover I will resume the Wim-Hof breathing but at a slower pace and with breaks in between days where I practice. Damn, that really hurt for a couple of days. Like, the pain was so bad, that all I could do was lie or sit down and that more or less hurt too. Who knew you could hurt yourself breathing too hard. Not me that's for sure. I didn't get up to much today. Meditated in the morning, did some errands with my wife in the afternoon, watched the second season of Cobra Kai, did some dishes and folded some laundry. Finally, I just brewed up a big old pot of tea to make some Kombucha. Hopefully, this batch will be better then the last. Keep kicking ass everybody! Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai!

Day 71 Missed posting yesterday but there wasn't much to report. I basically spent the day surfing youtube, watched Venom (okay), and played some board games. My back is still f'd so I couldn't do much. Today isn't much different. I did some dishes, drove my wife to her doctors appointment (a few too many people lined up for Covid testing for my liking) and spent the rest of the day nursing my back and watching the first season of Cobra Kai on Netflix (loved it). I managed to make some breakfast but I couldn't really cook too much else in my condition. Fortunately, I booked an appointment with a massage therapist for tomorrow. I'm eager for these back spasms to go away. Really getting in the way of my routine. At least I've been able to meditate and continue with my Wim-Hof exercises. I really want my back to heal so I can commit to doing core exercises every other day. This is the 3rd time this year that I've had debilitating back pain and I'm sure it's core related. Hope everybody is doing good with not gaming. Keep it up! Night all.

Day 69 Woke up this morning with some crazy back pain. Not sure which thing I did yesterday that caused this but I've been having back spasms pretty much all day. I can get around and drive but that's about it. I'm so glad to not be working tomorrow because I'd have to take the day off. I know this all boils down to me having weak core muscles. When I can comfortably do anything again I'm going to start a regimen of core exercises so thing shit doesn't happen again. Didn't get up to too much today for obvious reasons. I meditated in the morning for an hour before I picked up a SCOBY (Symbiotic culture of Bacteria and Yeast - in case your wondering) from a nice lady who donated one of hers. Tomorrow I'll start a batch of Kombucha with it and see what happens. Brewing Kombucha is new to me but I'm liking the adventure. After that my wife and I drove to Hamilton to visit my brother, his wife and my father for a BBQ dinner. Since this whole quarantine thing has been going down my bro has been getting into smoking meats. Tonight we had slow cooked, smoked ribs and slow cooked, smoked beans. Damn. I'm not just saying this because my brother made them but these were the best damn ribs I have ever had in my life. I am so stuffed right now. Between him and his wife we had some delicious food. Now I'm home, my back hurts and I'm full of ribs. Going to chill for a bit but probably going to bed real soon. Hope you all had a good weekend!

Music is music. If it doesn't make you want to play games or think about games I personally believe that it's fine. However, if listening to video games music does make you think about or crave video games then I'd have to say absolutely not.

When I first quit I did whatever I felt like doing at the time. Often that was just sitting around and watching a movie, going for a walk, reading....whatever popped into my head. Slowly, after the first month, I started to add new things to my routine. Some of the things I added were just random things I tried in the first month. After a while those new things (walking, meditation, yoga) have become a part of my new routine. I suggest that you take it easy on yourself during the first few weeks. It's enough to have to deal with what's going on in your head. All the best.

Hey @royal panda, I totally hear where you are coming from on this. It's not easy accepting the time that you lost that could have been put to better use. Some days I still struggle with this. However, there is no point in focusing on what could have been. It does you no good. Try to focus on what you are doing now and what you can do with the time you have freed up for yourself since you quit. Again, I know it isn't easy but I truly believe that focusing on "what could have been" is of no value. Do your best to focus on now and come to terms with what was. I wish you well.

Day 68 Another nice day. Did my usual routine in the morning (meditation, hike) and had a nice oatmeal breakfast. (While on my hike I listened to two more lectures on NLP.) When I got back I went grocery shopping with my wife. Then I spent some time surfing the world wide web and made some lunch. Then I hit the treadmill for 30 minutes for a brisk walk, did some Wim-Hof Breathing exercises and practiced a short meditation session. Later, I played a couple board games with my wife. Good times. We both won one game each. Always nice when we get a chance to spend some time together and play some board games. Don't much time for that as her schedule is pretty tight. All is well. Only the tiniest of cravings for vids today. Take care all!

Day 67 Another relaxed day. Got up and did an hour of meditation then made some breakfast. After that I went for a hike and listened to some more lectures on NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Got home and made up a batch of chili. Sooooo damn good. Man I love to cook. Did some breathing exercises after that and then I spent the rest of the day chilling out. Watched some youtube videos, played some board games, hung out with my cat. Nice day. No anxiety. Just a good day. Night.

Quit the Games, Start a Life All Fun No Games No Power to the Pixel Just a few ideas...

Personally, I think non video game related content is okay. Within reason of course. Too much of anything isn't healthy.

You're in the right place. You will lose nothing by not playing video games, but you can lose a lot if you continue to play. Don't beat yourself up about the time you've spent playing (easier said then done) but try to look at quitting like giving yourself freedom. Like you, I was bored of gaming but continued to do it anyway, day after day, hour upon hour. You are a capable human being. You've made it this far and you realize that gaming is holding you back. You're on the right track. Keep it up. It's not easy at first, but it is absolutely possible to kick this addiction. All the best.

Day 66 Pretty tired. Went on a hike with my Dad today at a conservation area in Ancaster. Outside of meditation I really didn't get up to much else. @R. Daneel Olivaw, thanks for pointing that info out about dreams. I'll make more of an effort to hold on to them. Maybe start a dream journal. I'm beat. Off to bed. Night all.

Day 65 Good day today. Slept in. When I woke up I made some blueberry oatmeal with peanut butter - tasty. After that I did my meditation and followed that up with some Wim-Hof breath work. Relaxed for a bit and then made some lunch. Then I went out for a hike and listened to some lectures of NLP for another Udemy class I'm doing. When I got home I took my wife out to pick up a few things around the city. Since then I've just been surfing the web. Not very exciting but at least I'm not feeling bored today. Now I'm going to sit down and learn how to play a new single player board game....not sure which one yet. I usually can't muster up the motivation to play a board game by myself but I want to start understanding game mechanics better. Down the road I'd like to make some games of my own. I have one nearly completed and I have another idea in the works. Still, playing other peoples games is the best way to learn. I don't feel guilty playing board games either. I don't ever feel the "hook" that video games have for me. I've always enjoyed board games but I never have a problem putting them away. Perhaps it's because they are too thinky? Not sure. Anyway, good night all. Hope things are going well and your staying off the pixels.

Day 64 Just wanted to say thanks to @R. Daneel Olivaw for the kind words. I really appreciate it. Although to be honest, I have smoked weed on two occasions since. Once, when I was at a breath work retreat. It was actually a part of the ceremony. I was nervous at first but I felt fine afterwards. A couple of days later I went camping with a friend and smoked a joint. I really wanted to see how it would make me feel and to be honest I really didn't enjoy it that much and I haven't done it since. I never really thought that I was addicted to weed. I just know that it really fuels the gamer and nicotine addict in me. I'm glad to say that I didn't have that reaction the last time I smoked. I enjoy what it feels like to have a clear head and not be stoned all the time. I also really appreciate that since I've stopped smoking weed I can really remember my dreams. Like, there was a good 10 year span where I don't remember having any dreams. I'm sure that I did but I could never remember any of them. My dreams now might be weird or scary or whatever....I don't care. I'm just glad that I can remember them. I think the boredom stems from having too much time on my hands during this whole Covid thing. My schedule, like most peoples, in not remotely the same as last year. When I'm working that takes up most of my day. These days I just have to keep finding things to do to fill the time. I will likely be going back to work next week so it will be easier to fill that time. Still, that being said, I'm glad to have had this time. I don't think I would have come to these conclusions about my gaming addiction if I didn't have the time to really look at my life. In a way this pandemic is the best thing that's ever happened to me. That's weird to say but it's true. Today I didn't allow myself to get bored. I just powered through. Started the day off meditating. Did some Yoga after that. Made some pancakes for breakfast. Then I drove my wife to the hospital for a check up. When we got back I joined in on a breath work Meetup Group session (very intense today). After that I cooked up some dinner - Schnitzel with potatoes and corn on the cob. Then I went for a good long walk and listened to a podcast on the history of Holotropic Breath work and started listening to some lectures on meditation (another Udemy class). When I got home I folded the laundry and searched around on Amazon for a Mahjong set (Been meaning to learn for a long time now). That brings us to now. Also, I've been starting to do some intermittent fasting - that just means I don't eat after five pm. Day three on that. I should be going back to work full time starting next week. That will be a nice change of pace. I intend to keep up with my meditation, yoga and breath work but I still feel that I need a hobby that I can truly sink my teeth into. I know I'm only two months into this change in my life and I should just take the time to deal with quitting. I just really feel the need to figure my life out. Up until these last couple of month I barely gave my life a second thought. Just drifted through. Now that I'm putting my mental energy towards figuring myself out and what I truly want out of life...I guess I just want the answers to come faster. I just need to be patient with that I guess. In the meantime I'll keep keeping myself busy. Trying new things. Reading. Learning. Whatever comes to mind at the time. Eventually something is going to stick. Here's to figuring life out! It isn't easy but I guess it's not supposed to be. Night all.

Right on. I used to be pretty into photography myself (went to school for it and everything) although I really have nothing to show for it, I'm embarrassed to say. When I was in school we shot mainly on 35mm but we were trained in 2 1/4 and 4x5 as well. I miss shooting on those big old beasts. Interesting, we were shown on of the first digital cameras in our final year. Looked like a pair of binoculars and if I remember correctly shot on 0.3 megapixel sensor. Wow time flies. Anyway, hope you're doing well. Have a good one!

Hey @iwangun, glad you found your way here. These times are definitely not easy. There is a lot going on in the world right now. You can absolutely quit gaming if you really want to. It's not easy but it's doable. Just stick to your guns. You recognized that you have a problem so just try to remember why you are here. You are obviously a smart guy (your English is infinitely better then my Indonesian) so I know you can stick to this. Take care!

Day 63 Started the day off great. Meditated for an hour. Had a nice, healthy breakfast. Went for a hike. While I was on my hike I finished listening to the lectures from my Udemy class on Mindfulness. Did some dishes when I got home. Cooked up a nice lunch - veggie curry on rice. Joined a Meetup group online session and did some breathwork. Another great experience. After that I started up my second batch of kombucha (I started trying to brew my own 1 month ago). I won't know if it's really working until the end of September. Then, after I did all that stuff, i just got insanely bored. I was surfing thr internet for a while until i got bored of doing that. I don't know what's going on. I feel like I've never been so bored in my life. I'm not thinking of relapsing or anything but I can't shake this boredom. Tomorrow, if the feeling strikes again, I'll read a book, start another Udemy class, workout....anything. I realize boredom is just a state of mind. I can switch things up. Just have to catch myself in that feeling and do something else. Night all. Keep your heads up.

Hello @R. Daneel Olivaw, I hope you can find your way to quitting for good. Alcohol is a tough one for sure. Video games can add fuel to that fire too. I wish I had good advice to give in this situation...all I can say is that it sounds like you need to do something way outside your comfort zone. Try some activities that you've never tried before. Hell, try some stuff that you aren't even interested in trying. You may find that helps to get your mind off of what's bothering you. Also, although it's new to me, I really think you should consider meditation. You might find that it helps focus your mind. Hope that helps and all the best!

Day 62 Kinda low key angry all day today. Just didn't really want to be around people or do much of anything. Still, I did my meditation and breathing exercises and went for a hike as well. I've been going through a course on Mindfulness. It's a Udemy class about focusing your attention on your emotions. It's been really informative and also plays nicely into all the meditation I've been doing. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be a little more relaxed. Just need to find an outlet to have some fun. I think I've been taking life just a little too seriously lately. I need to acknowledge that fun is harder to come by then usual these days (mostly because getting together with others is such a chore) and work towards adding more of it to my life in my own ways. Just need to figure out what those are. Have a great night all.

Thanks @AbjurationWizard, I really appreciate the feedback. I have been reading but I wouldn't say enough to call it a hobby, but certainly more then I usually do. I'm on my second book since I quit and that's actually pretty good for me (I've never been a big reader). Still, i could definitely up my reading game. I know that many successfull people are big readers. Might check out that James Nestor book you mentioned when I get through my current book - The Secret Life of Plants. Also, I've been doing my best to accept my situation. Most days I'm just happy to be free. Sometimes I have negative thoughts. I'm working on it.

Day 61 Another day of cooking meals, exercising and just figuring things out. I started adding some a Wim-Hof breathing exercise to my daily routine. That exercise, unfortunately, involves cold showers. Only starts with 10 seconds and goes up another 5 seconds every day, so not so bad. Not a crazy day but a good one. Sometimes less is more. Night all.

Day 60! I've been having a rough past few days but I'm still proud of this milestone. I'm positive this is the longest I've ever gone without video games in a very, very long time. It's been an exciting ride so far. I've had my ups and downs but mainly ups. I've been finding new interests and a new understanding of myself. I'm still in the thick of things but I have a lifetime to improve and evolve. I'm still very confident in my ability to kick this habit once and for all. These days my struggle is filling my time. I need more new hobbies. I'm working on it. I think I've found a few things that I'll enjoy long term but I'm also pretty fickle. One day I'm into something and the next not so much. I'll try to be patient with myself while I figure things out. I wanted to add that I'm very grateful for people responding to my journals or messages. It really does make things easier. Thanks everybody. Have a great night!

Thanks @Average_Guy, I'm really doing my best to keep my head above water with this one. You are right of course. I do feel like I'm living a better version of myself these days, and I don't always feel like I've wasted my youth or anything like that. Just sometimes it hits me pretty hard, especially when I find myself doing something I enjoy that I could have been doing years ago. Yeah, I know, there's no sense living in the past. Like I said, I'm doing my best to accept what is and live in the moment. Some days are better then others. Thanks for that. Did make me feel better.

Right on! Good for you! Really glad to hear that you did it!