chiliflavor

Remaining Days: 75 days (May 27, 2020 - Wednesday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 4 - 2 Quick Fact About Me: I had 3 girlfriends—in grade school, highschool and college. I've been with each of those gorgeous ladies for around 2 years. Lots of "first time", new places were discovered, new circle of friends because of their friends, mistakes were made and many more unexpected events had happened all throughout the time I've spent with them. I didn't expect that I would be this happy—thinking about them right now—because of how things turned out. Before, if I remember them at some point or because of an event, I'd be somehow sad or will feel some bitterness deep inside. Indeed, break-ups are hard and depressing; but now, my perspective have changed. I'm really glad that I had a chance, in my lifetime, to know how "love" felt and to learn life lessons from those beautiful women. Maybe this is what we call, hopefully, maturity. How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: Today, I feel distracted by my girlfriend (via chatting). Actually, it's totally okay and I loved it. It's been a while since we had a long conversation—meaningful and non-sense topics. 😂 I woke up around 10:00 AM and made coffee like usual. Then, I went to my parent's house to had lunch with our family then back again here at our events place. I tried doing the contract for our future clients but I was stuck. I feel like I don't want to write but I had to try since it's on my daily quest. My nephew arrived and we had a Math tutor session. I went home again to eat dinner with family then went back again, here at our events place. "Talk with my lady" is still on going since I woke up. I could say she really misses me. Likewise, I feel the same. It's almost 3 months since we had not seen each other due to the lock down. All in all, I've spent the day to just talk to her. It's just right on time because she was so stressed about her professor who's really into torturing students academically and psychologically. You know, first time teachers aren't really at their best. 😅 Somehow, I feel like I've wasted my day since I haven't been productive nor did my daily quests. But I think it's just fine to not to do things once in a while—short-term breaks. Probably, I'm quite exhausted with trying so hard to perfect my daily routine, to find ways to earn during this kind of situation (lock down) and most especially to battle the urge to play again. What matters to me as of this exact moment is that today, I've given time to listen and appreciate the woman who actually accepted an addict like me and who pulled me out from the gaming abyss. Daily Quest Checker: ❌ I haven't filled the details of the contract yet. It was my bad, I was trying to fill in and edit at the same time so it consumed more time. I should have laid out the document first. ✔️ Regarding my trading career: patience is what I lack in trading. Moreover, I should look at the bigger picture, that is, check out the weekly and monthly time-frames. I should practice on swing/momentum (daily) trades. If I did well on those kind of trades then that's the time I should try my skills on day trading. ❌ Wasn't able to do the images for the vlog lesson ❌ Didn't workout today. I'm really disappointed with myself because of this. Really Chiliflavor, what is 10 minutes of working out in your 18 hours of being awake? It's just 0.93% of your day time. Please do workout seriously. ✔️ Will update my journal template after this post Quests For Tomorrow: Do a draft of the contract so that I could present it to the board of directors (my mom and dad LMAO) Send an assignment to my nephew Make an outline of the lesson for the vlog, and the images to be used as well Workout Continue reading another interview in the book "Market Wizards" Fix my sleeping routine so that I could really start the Udemy course that I took 🤣 I badly need a daily routine to improve my productivity. Weekly Quest (Update): Tomorrow, I'll conceptualize the math vlog's next episode. It's just about "how to get the area of a square?" 😁 How can I become better?: Again, focus focus focus. Don't get easily distracted by some video or even a thought. How can I improve my focus? ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Welcome to the community, @kevlar2109! Each one of us gain level ups in life if we stick to our main goals and use it as a motivation. Good luck on your new job and for the detoxification progress! Take it easy. 😁

Welcome to the community, @Apollo093! That's a great start—attitude wise! See you around. 😁

Remaining Days: 76 days (May 26, 2020 - Tuesday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 5 - 1 Quick Fact About Me: The computer game that introduced me to the gaming community: DotA. Some of the PC games I've played before that were Diablo 2: Lord of destruction, Counter Strike, Battle Realms: Winter of the Wolf, & Warcraft III: Frozen Throne. I started to play DotA when it was still in it's earlier version back in 2005. 15 years later, I'm still here and loving the game—literally haven't improved at all. 😂 It was also the first time that I repeatedly lied to my mother just to play that video game. Since we were kids back then, my mom doesn't allow me to cross the road because it's very risky for a grade schooler since we don't have legitimate pedestrians here in PH (most of the streets). However, the computer shop, where me and my friends play against our friends from the other section, was few blocks away from our school and we need to cross the street. While on our way, we're already planning our heroes, strategy, items to be bought, and exchanging tips on how to farm fast and how to avoid dying. That's when I knew I loved gaming—the hype it brings me. The players as well as the viewers inside the computer shop was overwhelming. It was different back then. No E-Sports yet. Viewers were the commentators. And what's really nice with that computer shop, we can order cup noodles, chips, soda and even rice meals because the place was actually a garage of a home that was turned into a computer hub. 🤣 How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: Today, I feel awesome. My first 5-1 rating for the Today's Mood vs Game Craving section above. I'm so alive today. I'm very aware of the present. I hope this is one of the effects of the detoxification—a clearer mind. I woke up around 5:10 AM and made coffee right away. As I was finishing my drink until I cook breakfast, I was also doing the terms and condition for our venue. No trade for today. I'm on a vacation from trading. I needed to shrug off the bad vibes from last week's losing streak. 😅 Luckily, a local company will be having a mini-stock trading tournament starting June 15 to July 17 for it's followers while everybody is still on quarantine. The 1st prize is $500 so I better start fixing my trading career tomorrow. 😁 Then, I came across Udemy's advertisement and to make the long story short, I bought one of their courses—React Native programming course. I'd like to learn this platform for future use. I have a lot of ideas in my mind regarding applications and I really think that an $11.99 course would help me kick-start this career. Some part of me tells that "I could just search React Native in YouTube instead of paying almost $12." Well, I have the tendency to not to care at all if it's free. At least in this way, if it's paid, I have to push myself to actual learn it so that my money won't get wasted. 😂 I have to plan this yet, my approach in learning React Native, like when should I watch the videos or should I notes or not, something like that. My parents went here today to meet my father's client. 😄 Then, later that night, we went to my aunt's house to celebrate her birthday. A simple family (and relatives) gathering as usual. No social distancing at all, damn. As for me, I'm still very cautious to their distance from my face. Haha. Even though everybody here is virus-free, we still shouldn't be too ignorant that we're still under lock down. What's really important is that the food was delicious!! Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Sold all of my positions. I'll get back to trading soon after I've fixed my system ✔️ Made a draft of contract. I'd be typing the details tomorrow ✔️ Only sit-ups but I can offset the "bits of workout" since I created a routine for my everyday workout (good luck 🤣) ✔️ I'll be doing 1 math episode a week for the vlog. No pressure if I can't deliver. I've made the blog/vlog the least in my priorities. 🙂 Quests For Tomorrow: Fill in the details, or much better, make the first draft of the terms and conditions Sit down and think about my trading career: analyze what went wrong with the trades and come up of a new strategy to try After lunch, I should start making images for the math vlog; I'm expecting my nephew to come over as well Workout before having dinner and have a good night sleep. I shouldn't stay late. Update the journal template, I'll be adding weeky quest. I can't add it right now, I'm sleepy already haha! How can I become better?: By being fully committed to my workout routine. How about zumba? I assume it would be fun to watch. 🤣 PS. Doing things when feeling sleepy isn't good at all—it kills creativity. ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow's regular day, Chiliflavor

Welcome to the forums, @ace_dee! Hoping that this community would be of great help on your new journey. 😁

Remaining Days: 77 days (May 25, 2020 - Monday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 4 - 1 Quick Fact About Me: Few days before the lock down, I uploaded my first vlog. It's about how to solve for x. What a geek vlog right? 🤣 I would like to share it here but it's in Filipino language so it doesn't matter. Haha. I only have 5 videos anyway: 4 videos about Mathematics—it's for kids who were having hard time in understanding specific concepts—and 1 video about how to earn money through stock trading. I haven't made a follow up for the stock trading vlog since I was on a losing streak. HAHA. It's one of the reasons why I'm trying so hard to be profitable right away, because of the continuation of the vlog. I should chill in trading and shall focus on developing my trading system first. Maybe I should just continue the Math episodes, resuming with how to find the area of a square. 😂 The vlog's niche is about Mathematics but I might upload other stuff so that viewers (as if I have many lmao!) won't get burnt out about math (more like the other way around—for me not to be burnt out explaining math concepts). 😂 But for the sake of real talk, the objective of my vlog about Mathematics is to reach out to young minds—who are having difficulty understanding math—and make them appreciate the beauty and simplicity of Mathematics. It's my way of giving service to my fellow countrymen. It's the only way I could think of where I can be of great use in this rapidly changing society. (Rate the deepness of this thought from 1-10, 10 being the highest) 🤣 How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: Today, I feel great and busy. I should try to smile, be thankful and be happy as soon as I wake up—could set the mood and attitude for the day, probably. I need more tests for this habit. Not much craving today for video games. We had a nice family lunch. Then, my two younger siblings went here to spend the afternoon to chill and workout. I don't mind them now being here at all. Before, I hate when they're here because they use the internet to download or stream series/movies. Moreover, they would distract me while on a ranked game. And since I was playing games before, you know what download / streaming means—too much lag. 🤣 Now that I don't play at all, it gave me more time to bond with them and appreciate the fact that they want to spend their day here. Sooner or later, we'll all be with our own families (I mean in the future) and would have a hard time getting together because of our busy schedules. I did some of my daily quests this afternoon then we went home, at my parent's house, for dinner. We helped our Mother to cook dinner while our Father does his own thing. 😁 He likes to draw, he's an architect. I mentioned to my Father that I posted one of the paintings here in our events place on carousell (somewhat like eBay of Philippines). If someone bought it, then I'll use the money to buy a new one and resell it again. If no one bought it, I'm good with it—I like it anyway. 😁 With the hopes of someone buying it for some reason, this opened a new perspective to my father. He might try to paint and put me in charge to sell it. 😂 I idolize my father; he knows how to earn money. For me, I'm struggling about income right now. Hoping it will be better any time soon—I know it will. What's really good today is that I haven't thought of gaming at all—probably because I'm very preoccupied. Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Finished cleaning the business' Facebook messages/inquiries ❌ Creating a contract was harder than I thought. I need to be very thorough and specific at some points. I need to create an outline first before I fill in the details. I wished I hadn't googled a sample contract because it led me to a complicated one. However, I was happy I found this kind of sample. Now I know what should I put. ❌ Bits of workout = Negative. I only had 1 set of push ups today. I'll try to do several sets tomorrow.\ ✔️ Washed the car ✔️ PC, phone and business' inboxes are all clean now. I need to maintain this cleanliness—everyday, as soon as possible. ❌ Well, I've not stopped looking for opportunities anyway. I just couldn't find a job that suits my lifestyle and schedule; or maybe, I just don't want to work at all? 🤔😓 Quests For Tomorrow: Close my positions in ALL trades. No trades for this week. I repeat, I SHOULD NOT TRADE THIS WEEK. It's because of my losing strategy; I need to revise my style. For the contract (terms and conditions), categorize the topics first like: payment, scope of our service, your responsibilities, damages, cancellation, etc. Then, fill in the details. Bits of workout Plan the vlog episodes When Curiosity Strikes: I'm really interested in making maki. After this quarantine, I promise to buy ingredients and start rolling—rice and fillings for this time, not tobacco. 😂 ---------------------------------- Truthfully yours, Chiliflavor

Hey there, @Undsoweiter Nice! I just knew about zazen because of your journal. I might read more about it since I've been trying to meditate once in a while—I don't even know if what I'm doing is right. Could you suggest easy to follow youtube channels or blog about introduction to zazen? I need to improve my focus and I thought maybe meditation could help a lot. 😁

Hi @audley! This is what scared me a lot. The "what if I quit or what if I didn't quit" question. I've been in that cycle for like 2 years. I knew I had to quit when I, too, realized that Like I play only just "for the sake of gaming" even though I know that I could do so much better. It's really good that you know your life would improve if you had stopped because that means you have a very nice reason to quit. We, humans, are scared when we don't know what's gonna happen. I highly recommend that you make a strategy on how to quit. Either gradually or by cold turkey. Questions to answer are like: how will you keep your day busy to avoid thinking about games, how to deal with cravings, how can you use your resources to rebuild your life—you know, personal things like that. I've quit several times, but succeeded on the last. 🙂 Accept the fact, do something about it, then commit your life to it! You can do it! Good luck Audley! Hope to hear from you soon. 😁

Remaining Days: 78 days (May 24, 2020 - Sunday) [one day late entry] Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 3 - 5 Quick Fact About Me: I'm only 5 feet and 4 inches (162.50 cm) tall and weighs around 70 kg (154 lbs.). I'm not a sporty kind of guy. 😅 That's why I'm having a hard time in working out. When I entered high school, I became less active in sports since I was so inclined in the music industry. However, my favorite sport is billiards because it was the only sport where I can drink beer, smoke (back in college), and don't run at all. 🤣 How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I was not able to write my entry yesterday since I was up til 6:00 AM because I've been cleaning our business' Facebook messages/inquiries. It's a lot since 2018. 😂 I should clean the inbox/email more often to avoid this kind of hassle in the future. I didn't expect that writing an entry a day late has this feeling of vagueness . I can't exactly remember how I felt yesterday but there are three things that were still clear to me. First, I had no motivation in the morning. Second, I really wanted to install DotA. Third, my motivation spiked later in the night that's why I stayed up late working. I woke up late on this day. What I did most of the daytime was to clean my 3,500+ emails—yahoo mail and gmail. The last time I've clean this was like 2 years ago. I really should organize my e-mails maybe once in two weeks. My nephew arrived today for his Math tutoring session. This was a nice day because he scored 7.5 out of 10 for his assignment! Finally, there's still hope for this young fella to appreciate Mathematics. I nearly gave up teaching him. 😅 Later that night, I was kind of restless because I'm craving to play. Hence, I chatted one of my close friends back in college, who's also my companion in some games. You know, just a little "how you doing in life" conversation. She knows that I'm on "gaming rehab" and she's very supportive. 🤣 She mentioned that I might be feeling restless because right now, I don't have any outlet for stress. She's right. Likewise, I told about this restlessness to my girlfriend and shared what I've just realized—I don't smoke nor play games to fight stress. And since my gf is very frank about these kind of things, she said, "You're just finding an excuse to get back to your vices again." She was totally right! 100% indeed! Every time that I had quit, I've always come to this point where I'm (somehow) seeking approval of others for me to smoke/play games. Luckily this time, they were here to remind me. Because of those conversations, I was literally pumped up to finish my daily quests and ended up sleeping around 6:00 AM. Not good. 😅 Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Almost done. Facebook messages needs to be double check since some of it are still active bookings. ❌ No draft of contract at all. I'll be doing it today (Monday) ❌ Haven't made a clear plan how to fix my trading system. I've been caught up by weekend's gaming cravings ✔️ Figured out why I was so restless. It's because I'm at the edge of relapsing. Quests For Tomorrow (I mean for today, Monday): Finish the remaining messages to be deleted in the business' Facebook page. Draft the contract and the terms & agreement of the business. It's just a draft, I should be able to do it. This is a high priority. Bits of workout Wash the car Make sure that my office/room and PC (e-mails and local files) are thoroughly organized so that I can start a legitimate development of the business/trading career tomorrow Find an online job How can I be better?: Once in a while, it's really nice to talk to somebody. He or she might be your friend, significant other, family, or just someone from the internet. Because we will never know what could we get from their perspective until we had a conversation with them. I should reach out to others more about positive things in life. I should refrain from talking about negative things especially when I'm stressed because things escalate quickly when emotions are involved. As my college professor says, "Learn to compartmentalize your feelings." 😄 ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Hey there, @apatton090! Thanks for reading my journal! I'm glad that this diary is giving insights to me and to others as well. 😁 That's nice to hear! I've been working at home since 2017. It's highly probable that my understanding of myself was redefined from this kind of setup—being alone in our events place, most of the time, since events happen only during weekends and my family and friends have work on weekdays. I admit, there are days where it's really boring specifically when there's no event or appointment I should go to. But, I took advantage of it (by gaming a lot before 🤣) to get to know myself more especially regarding my personality. You too, man. Good luck as well and keep safe! 👌

Welcome to the forums, @ToastyMuffin, and congrats for quitting! Don't worry about your friends too much. 😁 If they really are your friends, they would eventually understand why you had to quit gaming. My college friends quit ahead of me too, but we didn't lose connection since we've been in touch once in a while to check up what's up with our own lives. And yes, as you go on with this new journey, you'll definitely meet new people—maybe on your future business, who knows! 😂 Good luck man, take it easy! 👌

Remaining Days: 79 days (May 23, 2020 - Saturday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 2 - 3 Quick Fact About Me: When I was 12 years old and started playing guitar, I really wanted and attempted to be a vocalist. Unfortunately, I don't have an amazing voice and I was very shy back then. Thus, I ended up playing drums and I became a "frustrated vocalist." 😂 At first, I was just goofing around the drum set—imitating the drummer in our school. I've had a formal drum lesson but I already knew how to play Enter Sandman by Metallica that time. Hence, the drum lessons was sooo boring. But, what made me continue to go to the class is the musical notes that the professor teaches. I have no idea about the notes before so it became challenging. This new concept—musical notes, paved the way for me to explore new songs and helped me to learn new drumming techniques. 😎 How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I don't feel quite good today. I really miss playing games. Haha. Somehow, I notice that these past few days were very long. Is it because I don't play at all? I feel like it's been a while since I've played but only 11 days had past. When I was gaming, days weren't even noticeable. One week felt like a day, or one month felt like two weeks. I've created a new Facebook account today, mainly because my old account was full of gaming posts/streams and all other distractions. I wanted to deactivate my old account but I need it for sharing my blog/vlogs and the business services as well. I need to come up with a solution to what they call "mindless surfing." I haven't read Market Wizards today. I just don't feel like reading. Haha. My body clock tells me that, "Come on, it's Saturday. Gimme a break." 😂 My cousins visited us in the afternoon and we had merienda (snack): pizza, green mangoes, pancake and milk tea. I got so full that I didn't eat dinner. But, around 11:00 PM, I got hungry and made a meal. This was my habit when I was playing games—have late night dinners because I'll be playing til 6 or 8:00 AM. I originally planned to stay late tonight but I think it would be better if I just sleep and don't attempt to break again this "nice" sleeping pattern. I cancelled my tutor session with my nephew because I was "busy." I did give him an assignment last night though and I'm really sure he has not done it yet. 😂 Nothing really interesting happened today except the food trip that we had in the afternoon. 😄 Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Changed my mind; I didn't wash the car because it was cloudy and about to rain. ❌ No progress for the book. ✔️ I've cleaned only my Yahoo Mail (not yet done). There's so many e-mails like 999+. Damn, I still have some in GMail too. ✔️ Bits of workout; this is really nice—a good fill for my "small breaks" throughout the day since I don't smoke anymore nor play games. Quests For Tomorrow: Finish cleaning e-mails and SMS; as well as the inbox of the business' Facebook page Draft the contract and the terms & agreement of the business Prepare myself to take the week off from trading. I need to re-plan my trading system—make my own. Although, I need to close my positions on Monday, even at loss, so I'd have a clearer mind. Figure out a way how to defeat this restlessness that I feel. First, I need to know where does it come from. 😂 When curiosity strikes: I'm thinking of starting a review center for Mathematics. Since our events place business are only busy during weekends and I'm only trading in the morning of weekdays, my weekday afternoons are free. Hence, it's nice to have an "after-class" math session for high school students from nearby schools who are having a hard time in mathematics. Especially for the students who would be taking college entrance exams, I really think they would attend such session; of course, with an entrance fee—I'm not that wealthy enough to shoulder the energy consumed by the air-conditioner. 🤣 I'll put this idea in my "To- Plan." 😁 ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Hey @obelix_mtg! It's been a while since I've heard (read) the phrase "Hey Chili"—it's mostly used in-game—which is nice to hear. Haha! 😁 What a nice idea! I'll put it on my to-do list. Haha. You're definitely right. By expounding those 10 mistakes I've listed through an article, I might see it's causes and how can I avoid it. Day trading is indeed exciting! I just have to lower my risk and lessen my share sizes so that my account won't get wiped out. 😂 Thanks for the insight, Same to you obelix_mtg, keep safe!

Remaining Days: 80 days (May 22, 2020 - Friday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 3 - 4 Quick Fact About Me: As a hobby, I learned to dance hip hop back in high school and college days. 😂 I had to join a dance organization instead of a music one since I thought there were lots of exposure in dancing. More exposure = more opportunity to meet new "friends." 😂 However, I had to stop dancing when I was in the second semester of my 2nd year in college since I needed to focus in my studies. The math subjects that I took was just very new to me, like an alien math. More time was needed in reading books and so I had to quit my commitment in the dance organization. No more, practices, perfomances and less night out with them. Sacrificing my hobby eventually led me to graduation. I'm sorry orgmates, I had to give up all the memories that we could have had for me to be able to fulfill my dream—my parents as well—which is to finish college. How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I don't feel good today because I violated my my quest the other day: Not to trade stock. Moreover, I watched a stream of DotA for like 5 mins. HAHA. I should refrain from watching those because cravings are triggered. I went to sleep—because I felt sleep which is unacceptable if I really wanted to be good at trading—few minutes before the market opens (9:30 AM) and immediately woke up around 9:40 AM. The positions I had went up around 9:35 AM then declined right after the initial spike. Thus, I missed the chance to sell because of that short nap. 😓 Instead of earning, it became a (paper) loss. Today's trading story was a confirmation that I'm not ready to be full-time day trader. Even though I had enough knowledge of the basic concepts—since I was studying for around 1 year, I still lack the discipline of a profitable trader. I also listed 10 mistakes that I've committed in my "first real (2 months) trading experience" (since the lockdown). Now, I've just officially started reading Market Wizards by Jack Schwager. This book is interesting; I'll continue to read it for sure. I think this is the greatest timing in my trading career to read this book because it's about the perspective of a profitable trader. I slept in the afternoon, ate lunch and dinner with family. Nothing else happened today. 😁 Daily Quest Checker: ❌ I wasn't able to control my trading. I bought a stock. I feel like I'm starting to get addicted. As early as now, I need to tame this kind of addiction. I don't want to add it to my problems eventually. ❌ No progress for the guides, terms & agreement, house rules, etc. of the house—what a bummer 😂 ✔️ Workout changed to "fractions of workout"; Instead of doing a workout routine, I'd be doing several quick exercise throughout the day. This shall be done in my "break times"—an alternative to smoking and playing video games Quests For Tomorrow: Wash the car Continue reading Market Wizards and fix my trading career ASAP Clean my messenger and messages in the phone. Likewise, unsubscribe to irrelevant newsletters in my e-mail as well as to leave groups in facebook which only causes distraction; Basically, a social media detoxification 😂 bits of workout How can I be better?: By eliminating unnecessary things in my life—distractions. I need to be more focused but not to the point of isolation. It's very hard to concentrate without caffeine and nicotine. I was used to it for 10 years. What I'm doing now, with the gaming detoxification, is that I'm trying my best to rewire my brain. 80 more days til 'my second achievement.' I can do this. 🌶️😤👌 ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Welcome to the forums, @Kuymak! This is where it all begins, at simple things like these! I'm currently in detoxification too. I'm just doing everything what comes in my mind just to keep me off from reinstalling my games. 😂 Hope we and the others can get through this addiction. Cheers! 😁

Remaining Days: 81 days (May 21, 2020 - Thursday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 3 - 4 Quick Fact About Me: Thanks to my cousin-in-law, she introduced me to stock trading. At first, I didn't even bothered searching it. I thought it was a scam or something. I was still hooked up at World of Warcraft's auction house game at that time. After reading/watching things about stocks, I became more and more curious and I saw some of the similarities of stock trading to the auction house. What if all of my cravings to farm gold were redirected into farming stocks? I was about to quit WoW at that time too. Hence, I started to play the stock market like how I do it on WoW's auction house. Yes, what you're thinking about what happened to my capital is true—it burnt. I lost 21.05% of my capital for trading carelessly and spontaneously. So I stopped for quite sometime, read new books, and just got back to it since the quarantine started. I'm hoping that someday, I'll be one of the profitable traders in world. How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I felt lightheaded today. Maybe because I've been drinking decaffeinated coffee. Damn this acid reflux, it's very hassle. I have to watch out my diet now. 😂 I joined a new Facebook group where their advocacy is to share what they know in stock trading. Seeing their leader, I remember myself when I was a community leader in WoW. She was very optimistic, had kind and inspiring words and you can see the realness of her helpful personality—until someone made you otherwise. For me, the hardest part of being a leader is keeping your thoughts straight while hearing out everybody with no bias. 😂 Jeez, I want to start playing again because of this and rebuild the community. But, the thought of grinding upgrades, waiting for next week for new upgrades, or weekly clears, is just too much for me now. I miss DotA though, even if I'm just a noob support HAHA. 😓😂 I didn't watched the stocks for today but I did close one of my positions and was able to earn $1.13. 😂 My nephew arrived and luckily he understand something that we have discussed. I'm glad he's learning even a little bit. I've computed our new business rate and presented it to my parents. They're like the critics. They approved but the new rates needs to be reviewed again, just to be sure. 😄 Then, I just finished watching the anime after dinner. Probably not a day-off for me, but still, it felt like a mini-break from the losing streak in trading. I needed this break so bad. Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Took the day-off ✔️ Reassessing trades still in progress ✔️ New rate—done. Review again to reduce unnecessary fees / charges. ❌ Wasn't able to workout. Damn. How can I push myself to workout? Quests For Tomorrow: Continue to Reasses, Re-evaluate, Revise my trading strategy—only get back to trading AFTER repairing my trading confidence. I should start doing the guides, terms & agreement, house rules, etc. for the house rental—a draft will do. W O R K O U T B O I G O D D A M N S H I T 😤 How can I be better?: By doing exercise. After fixing my sleeping partner, this would be the next healthiest thing that I can control to do. Thanks for reading! ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Remaining Days: 82 days (May 20, 2020 - Wednesday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 3 - 1 Quick Fact About Me: I failed only one Math class—Calculus (Part 1 of 3). Because of that failure, I started doubting myself if I could actually finish with a Mathematics degree. But since I don't like ANY other subjects AT ALL, I didn't have a choice but to get up, retake my calculus I (fortunately, my grade was exactly the passing grade), and change my study habits. I developed my study habits, reduced extra curricular activities (nights out with friends), and focused more on learning real Mathematics. That reformation is what I plan for my gaming addiction. I'd apply it to my stock trading journey as well. Glad I had overcome my smoking addiction (yes, I'm celebrating early—hopefully not jinxing it). It was really the first priority in my "become a better person" campaign. How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I felt not quite good in the morning, after trading, but I felt pumped up after eating dinner. In today's day trade, I lost $18.69. I'm on a losing streak. Hence, it affected my today's mood. This proves I'm still an amateur trader because I'm not emotionally prepared for this kind of losses. I'm stopping today, reassess, re-evaluate my previous trades, redo my strategy, move on and start again slowly. Thanks to the video I watched in youtube on how to deal with losing streaks. The good thing in this loss is that I hit rock-bottom again and was pumped up because of it. I should double my effort in reading. 🙂 Thank goodness, I quit playing games—gave me more time to read and especially to analyze my life. I slept for 3 hrs. in the afternoon due to psychological breakdown from today's trade. 😂 We had a nice family dinner. I went home to our events place, watched some motivational stock trading videos. I might watch anime til I get sleepy. Daily Quest Checker: ❌ Wasn't able to follow the schedule I made. I wasn't able to wake up at 6am damn.. I'll revise it next time and make a new one which should be more "realistic" ❌ Lost the day trade ❌ I wasn't able to finalize the new possible rate, I've just compiled the competitors event packages and started comparing ❌ I had coffee in the morning, right after I woke up, which is not good. I had coffee again in the afternoon after I woke up. Luckily, I was able to buy decaffeinated coffee and I tried it after dinner. Maybe this would help my acid reflux. It's just that, I can't stop drinking coffee—can't stand the withdrawal. I hope decaf would help me psychologically, that is, it should trick my mind that I'm consuming caffeine. ❌ I haven't upload any item. I forgot to scan my closet for old but reusable things. Quests For Tomorrow: Take the day-off. Sometimes, work from home people forget that they have to take day-offs to recharge/unwind. When I feel that I'm in charge again, I should: Reasses, Re-evaluate, Revise my trading strategy—only get back to trading after repairing my trading confidence. Continue the computation of the business' new rate. While repairing my trading career, I should take this chance to develop of the business. Moreover, list the things I should do like update the terms & agreement, house rules, etc. Workout. I know it would feel good especially in this kind of situation. How can I be better?: As we can see, I hadn't done any of my quests for today. I've realized something because of this; that is, even though I'm trying so hard to change my habits—especially these things: sleeping well and in the right time, make my bed every morning, doing workout even the simplest ones, stopped smoking, cooking my own meal and washing the dishes right after eating, maintaining the cleanliness of the house, watering the plants, and stopped playing games (presumably for good)—there will still come a time, once in a while, that you'd think you haven't done enough. 😁 If that time comes, like today, I should always keep in mind that life doesn't care at all—it just goes on, and that I should keep doing the things that actually make me happy. Except gaming, of course. 😂 PS. Now, somehow, I can see the beauty of journaling. Reflecting on my own actions gives me a new perspective on how should I redefine my approach in life to further improve myself. After all, I'm doing all of these things because I want to stay away from gaming, that is, not to escape all of these struggles by just logging in. This is just week 2 of the gaming detoxification. Maybe I should really take this detox more seriously. I wonder how much will I improve after 10 more weeks. Thanks for reading. 🙂 ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow's struggles & improvements, Chiliflavor

Remaining Days: 83 days (May 19, 2020 - Tuesday - 1 week no games! 😍) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 5 - 2 Quick Fact About Me: I like cats more than dogs. I once had a cat named Chili. He's the one in my profile picture. He died. 😔 (He died a virgin 😭) RIP Chil—hope you find a kind, sexy and smart cat in heaven. 😄 How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I feel great today. Probably because I had a good night sleep. 🙂 I made breakfast—exercised as well while waiting for the food to be cooked. I watched anime while eating, specifically, Love is War. 😂 I lost $3.63 in today's day trade. Charge to learning experience—again. Damn this dream to become a trader. But today's a good trading day since I've learned to become disciplined and focused despite the fact that the trade went against me. 😎 I posted my gaming account for sale, hoping that someone would buy it. All in all, if I sum up everything, its around $750 but I'm only selling it for $250. I would even accept $200—probably. I wish some crazy guy/gal would buy my account hahaha. Hmm. I'm planning to sell one of our house paintings too. I bought it around $138, a 34.5 by 50.5 inches gumamela (hibiscus) painting. I had a math tutor session with nephew, glad he learned a little bit. I downgraded the lesson, we're starting from real basics. He's really slow, damn it. We had a nice family dinner, I went back home here then watched some videos about stock trading. Then I made a daily schedule. I hope I can follow it. 😑 Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Workout ❌ Lost the day trade ✔️ Re-planned my priorities—new order: stocks, events place business, then vlog/blog—as well as when shall I do certain things on each activity. Quests For Tomorrow: Follow my daily routine schedule (includes workout already) Win the day trade finalize the new possible rate of the venue have coffee in the afternoon only to avoid acid reflux upload to carousell.ph other old/used items that can be sold When Curiosity Strikes: How can I be focused on one task at a time? Thinking about pending tasks/goals is indeed stressful. Being in a stressful situation triggers two things for me: cravings for nicotine and gaming. Before, when stress appeared, I'll just go out and smoke or open a game then play for an hour or two. Now, my only option if stress visits is that I stop, think about it, take deep breath, make a resolution and finally, move on. I hope I can do this everyday. 😁 PS. 1 month smoke free as well. What a nice day! 😁 ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Remaining Days: 84 days (May 18, 2020 - Monday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 1 - 4 Quick Fact About Me: There are days when I sometimes don't feel like doing anything—the dark days. 😂 Literally, lie down, listen to music, watch TV series, or play my guitar for 2 hours. Today is a dark day. In other words, an unproductive day. How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I had 6 hrs. of sleep and was able to make breakfast, enjoyed my coffee and a little bit of exercise. Then, the stock market opened. In a span of 5-15 seconds, I've missed an entry of a supposed to be "sweet trade." I hesitated to take the trade and I can give you many reasons why I didn't managed to enter it; but, there's only one acceptable reason—I chickened out. I could have earned a clean $30 in less than 15 minutes. I was not emotionally prepared to trade. Then after the missed opportunity, I left my computer went to bed and go to sleep. 🤣 When I woke up, minutes before the market closed, I saw that there was another opportunity. That means, I missed it again because I slept—because I gave up. I should have remained focused after missing the 1st opportunity and looked for another nice setup. What I did—getting out and sleeping—was a loser's way of life. When that happened again, I will stand up from my chair, shrug off the bad vibes, take a deep breath, sit down and focus on my goal: Win today's day trade. 😌 Since my mood was not good, I just watched some youtube videos and chill the whole afternoon. Went home to my parents' house before dinner then back here at our events place. In days like this, it would be the best time to play games. I've been always reconsidering to install games lately. Withdrawal is real. 😅 Now I'm drinking milk—I really plan on drinking coffee but I'm still taking medicine for my acid reflux—and writing here. After posting this I'd be reading "Market Wizards" by Jack Schwager because I think this would help me develop my trading psychology—how to handle emotions during a trade. Moreover, I don't like to finish a day without being productive at least. Daily Quest Checker: ❌ Workout "intensely" failed. I workout a little bit though. ❌ wasn't able to trade ❌ wasn't able to make a weekly plan ✔️ I tried shooting the vlog for how to play drums (basic only), but I still need to adjust the microphones' volume, and "blend" the sound properly. And so, shooting was postponed. Quests For Tomorrow: Workout for real. I really believe that working out helps to create a good mood. I'm just so lazy to do it. Win the day trade. Re-plan my priorities. I get lost from time to time whenever I am overwhelmed by tasks. How can I be better tomorrow? Remember to be aware of what's happening. Be conscious of the present. ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

😱! Here's for a bad day. 😅

Welcome to the forums, @Ali! Hope that you'll be doing fine for the next 90 days! 😂

Remaining Days: 85 days (May 17, 2020 - Sunday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 4 - 3 Quick Fact About Me: In our events place business, named "Casa Gilmore," i have two roles: the music technician (DJ) and the manager. Whenever we have an event, I'm the one who's in charge of the music to be played. Sometimes, if their catering services has a sound system and a DJ included, then it's a day off for the "in-house DJ" which is me. 😂 Weddings, birthdays, christening or wedding preparation (lodging), and all other events happen usually on weekends. Hence, I mostly have work on weekends. On the other hand, during weekdays, I stay at home only—waiting for client's ocular visit or some spontaneous inquiry. That's why I have the time to day trade, because I don't have work on weekdays. I never applied to any jobs after my first one because I like it here at home. No traffic, no need to wake up very early and no more unnecessary expenses. The things I need to do during weekdays—as of now, is to develop the business, improve my day trading skills, and think of other ways how to generate income. It's hard to work from home, boring and most specially, very isolating. 🤣 Given this kind of work setup, it gave me lots of free time. How do i spend my free time (before)? By playing games, of course, all day—sometimes. No work from Mon - Fri equals "LEEROOOOOY JENNNKIIIINS!" 😂 If I was gaming, I would not do anything for the whole week. That's why I want to quit. I need to "do something" with my life rather than investing it to a game that eventually I would become sick of playing. How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I woke up around 7:30 AM—only 3.5 hrs of sleep. Hence, not feeling so energetic today. Haha! I woke up early because I had a bad dream—damn, can't sleep anymore. While having coffee, I started to clean my cabinets. I went home to have brunch then my brother went with me to our events place. As soon as I got back, cabinet cleaning resumed. My nephew came and he took the mock exam—scoring 10% only. I don't know if I'm a bad teacher or he really just sucks at Math. Probably both. 🤣 We need to do more exercise this week. I finished the cleaning the cabinet, went home, had dinner, then back to Casa Gilmore. Watched some videos of charting sessions for free for tomorrow's market. Then, after chatting with my lady and my friends, I'm here writing again and shall be off to bed right after posting this entry. Daily Quest Checker: ❌ Workout failed. I only had 3 hrs. of sleep—I have no energy at all! 😅 ✔️ Fixed the cabinet; but, not the documents and Math reviewers. Let's leave that for another day. ✔️ Haven't checked stocks one by one but I had a great reminder from the charting session that I watched today: stay focused on price action and volume followed by a moving average and an indicator (RSI or STS). "Keep things simple," as traders say it. ✔️ Off to bed at 11:30 PM Quests For Tomorrow: Workout intensely before trading. Keep the carbs burning bro'. Win the day trade. (New Daily Quest Unlocked!) Make a plan for the week. Shoot video clips for vlog. When Curiosity Strikes: I'll try to open a computer/laptop repair business. Basically, reformatting computers and laptop charging around $20-$30 for each reformat. 🤣 ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Remaining Days: 86 days (May 16, 2020 - Saturday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 3 - 5 Quick Fact About Me: I got addicted in World of Warcraft because of two things: gold farming and PVP. I do dungeons (while rarely for raids) but mostly just because I need to gear up for PVP. Sadly, I'm not a top player at PVP. I'm just a wanna-be-gladiator. Haha! But when it comes to gold farming, I'd say, I'm one of the best (and the worst 😅). After playing WoW for a short time—compared to other players—2.5 yrs. to be exact, I've collected approximately 250 million gold. I gave away subscriptions/gifts/mounts/pets to guild mates, bought expensive mounts and pets for collection only, bought all Blizzard games and some in-game goodies, giving away gold to random players in trade chat, sold subscriptions and gold to guild mates (Hi Blizzard, ban me now I DON'T CARE 🤣), bought a 2 year subscription last 2019 (I quit WoW last August 2019, went back around March 2020 and quit again)—yes, my account was subscribed til July 2021—which just went to waste (does it?) since I've already stopped playing. I was so addicted in farming gold to the point that I don't enjoy other contents of WoW anymore, except PVP. I can't quit WoW at that time because I can't let go of my millions. But eventually, I had to quit because my life was falling apart. I had to give away literally everything that I farmed just for me to lose the motivation to log in. Luckily, it worked. 🙂 How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I woke up late—around 2:30 PM. Maybe that's why I don't feel great like the other days. This was the latest time I've woken up since I quit smoking (28 days ago). I should stop drinking coffee after dinner—my habit when I was gaming. Today, I don't have any appointments. Just me and myself. 🙂 Hence, I was able to clean my PC's files. While cleaning, I saw some recorded videos of my games. I watched a dungeon run. DAMN. After watching it, I almost gave in! I was immediately thought of ghosting this forums—eat everything that I said, then proceed to install ANY game. Until now, I still feel the urge to play. But I need not to play, for me to be cured—because I am an addict and I need to fully accept that fact, that I can't play in moderation. Like what I did in my nicotine withdrawal, I have to accept this consequence, this gaming withdrawal, this uneasy feeling, because I chose to play excessively. After cleaning my PC, I did the mock exam for tomorrow's tutorial session and I wasn't able to fix my cabinet (since I woke up late 😂); I'm writing here instead. Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Cleaned and organized the files in my computer ✔️ Created a 5-item exam specifically concentrating in the process of adding dissimilar fractions, operations on positive and negative integers and solving for x. Good luck to my nephew. 😂 ❌ I woke up late which means my time today wasn't enough. I'm sorry. I could have done it but I chose to sleep again. I'll fix the cabinet tomorrow while my nephew is answering the exam. I know it'll take a while for him to figure out how to solve #5 and will be shocked that the answer is only "x = 1." 🤣 Quests For Tomorrow: Workout in the morning. I skipped 2 days of workout. It's not good because I only workout for 10-15 mins a day so skipping it proves that I'm so lazy. I want to change. Fix the cabinet and organize documents as well as Math reviewers Checkout stocks that might breakout on Monday Have a good night sleep to trade well on Monday. How can I be better tomorrow? Sleep properly. It's the only way to build a routine that would lead me to a better life. Waking up/going to bed on whatever time I want won't help me. How did I know? I was doing that for 5 yrs and the results were not good. ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Remaining Days: 87 days (May 15, 2020 - Friday) Today's Mood VS. Video Game Craving: 5 - 3 Quick Fact About Me: I've been working at home since 2017. Our supposedly new home, was turned into an events venue. We accept events like birthdays, christening reception, weddings, lodging, band practice, recitals, etc. Right after the house was built and since I don't have work during 2017, and while I was just playing World of Warcraft, I "volunteered" to my parents to be the caretaker of the house. They can't take care of the new house at that moment because my mother had to stay in our home and my father was working abroad; meanwhile, my younger sister was working also and my youngest brother is still studying. During a break in WoW—I don't know if it was a maintenance or just burnt out (lmao), I proposed a possible rate of our venue to my parents, somewhat like an "event package". They approved it and with few tweaks to price, rules and regulations, as well as a little bit of newbie marketing/advertising, we had our first client! 😍 Voilà: Self proclaimed manager at 23 years old! 🤣 So when I talk about office/room/music room, it's a room in our events place—my gaming station, my sanctuary. 😄 How Do I Feel & What Did I Do Today?: I felt great today but because I've been cleaning all day, my cravings to play were stronger than yesterday. In today's day trade, I earned $1.30 instead of $4.44 because I was too greedy! I should have sold it at $4. I hesitated to sell at $4 profit because my target price was one tick away! Wrong move! Nevertheless, it's still a gain and a well executed plan so it's a good trading day. 😄 I cleaned my office and room starting lunch til after dinner. Rearranged the musical instruments and did some cable management (because my father did it and it's quite not good to look at...) After cleaning, I sat here and did some deletion of unwanted files. We have heavy rainfall at the moment—wind is so strong that it tore our sun shade! It's difficult to have strong typhoon in the Philippines. Floods in congested cities and landslides on the road to some provinces are the scariest events during a typhoon. We're somewhat lucky because it doesn't happen around here since our village is on the upper side of the city. I hope everyone's safe. Daily Quest Checker: ✔️ Rearrangement/cleaning of things in the office: Done! ❌ I party cleaned/organized my computer files. Actually, I was planning to postpone this task for tomorrow, but this was long overdue. I'm quite embarrassed since I was unable to do my quests—now I can feel the pressure of writing a journal. ❌ Priority list for the development of the business wasn't made. Cleaning my room and office literally took all day! ✔️ I forgot, it's cheat day for sleeping time since there's no stock market hours on weekends. I still need to sleep properly though. Staying awake at night (often til morning) is normal when I was playing. Actually, my sleeping pattern was great, until I started this journal. Quests For Tomorrow: Now that my office/room is fresh and feels new, I can now concentrate on cleaning my PC. Tomorrow, I have to create a questionnaire for my nephew's mathematics mock exam on Sunday. I hope he studied well. I have to fix the things inside the cabinets in the office. Might as well the kitchen too. Throw out unnecessary things. So that on Sunday, no more cleaning—only pure planning. How can I be better tomorrow? I need to learn how to manage time properly. The problem is my focus. I tend to be easily distracted by videos from Facebook/Youtube. ---------------------------------- Til tomorrow, Chiliflavor

Thanks! Glad you liked it! Indeed! To be honest, journaling keeps me busy and it reminds me to do tasks/chores and stay away from games, forever. Nice! You're right, I can never control the dose because I'm a video game addict. Damn, I wish there will come a time that I could control it. Haha. Yeah, I've just started cleaning my room and office because I have nothing to do lmao! Thanks for the reminder, @Marek!