Amphibian220

Day 2 of no social networks Day 6 of healthy pre planned meals Day 3 of exercise There is a strong sense of fatigue at the moment, but I am proceeding with work, studies and evening workout plan. Edit: system trap elaborated. I incline to subject matter where i can find people/organizations to be angry about. It can be something in the news, or rumours etc. Everything else seems not stimulating enough. Im trying today without that.

I read a case study of a doctor 1. Being passive and indifferent to his private practice (in the face of theft by some medical staff, sanitary violations, beatings and abuse of patients), enabled the problems to grow in scale and led to critical failures. 2. Due to his complete lack of agenda, cowardice and complicity in the face of theft, he was taken advantage of by predatory actors, lost his job, income and became destitute. The last two years were spent with an uncontrolled use of social media and news, zero investment in building on communication, new skills, lax management with no oversight. I carried on work at a low pace which led to many failures. Day 1 of no social networks Day 5 of healthy pre planned meals Day 2 of exercise.

Can you say if your thought processes today are very different to what they were 3 years ago? If they are different then explain how? You have stated in the past that Good use of binary choices leads to success. Staying clear of pitfalls is instrumental in changing one’s thinking. My thought processes reset to what they were three to four years ago if I lack communication, physical fitness, learning and challenges at my work.

Welcome to game quitters, have you made a mission statement and weekly plans yet for your recovery? Are you completing the respawn pack. That is supposed to have useful information for building a recovery plan.

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. We have to put the effort to be grateful and hard working.

Having read Cameron’s letter, I have to concede that gamers avoid unfamiliar tasks and problems, conflict situations where control is limited, or giving a bit more in terms of effort and charity. Addicts may second guess people that they encounter, and usually sabotage themselves before they can be offered a great prospect to learn something useful.

Weakness / threat Having watched a documentary or an action film, there is a compulsive behavior of thinking of a better version of that film. this habit hasn’t ever been tackled . It substitutes in a way displaying quality in my actual work.

Improvement over the last week: Exercise in the gym before work. Revised training materials for my new role. How could I improve on my last week: Try to slow down and tackle work that is less familiar to me to further develop my skill set. @Ikar I have to train trainees at my work and I have purchased training materials after being unable to build rapport for some time. So the training materials turned out to be informative, even simple things like my presentation instills interest in them to listen. Great that you use methods to reduce stress on them. I still have to get there.

Are we scapegoating video games? i read a forum, where video game quitters are called deniers who have experienced abuse and who need to find a party to blame. So the video game habit is a convenient party. It is circular. An alcoholic can claim he took to drinking because he was hurt, but didn’t the drink further lead to an inability to defend himself and others?. All these journals show one common behavioral pattern. It begins with being silent on issues one doesn’t agree with from a young age, to mostly forgetting that power and easy going attitude that he had as a child. with cycling between heavy obsession to mild entertainment, absent mindedness creates a convenient way first to skip issues and defer solutions to circumstances alone, and then to forget goals altogether.

Got food poisoned in a pub after work and couldn't resist from mentally constructing a strategy video game. Maybe its no big deal and I shouldn't pay so much attention to it.

Any excess capacity that gets created through hard work, presents a dilemma. The initial thought is to channel it to the most relaxing activities. As I add to self development, I encounter a limit that cannot be surpassed without other more fundamental changes. Extreme honesty presents conflicts ahead and prospects such as job insecurity, or a dispute with a neighbour etc. how can I navigate this ? I can be more dutiful, responsible, more considering of other people’s concerns. In that case a conflict may happen in good faith, but not out of an ego.

@Franek Its great you are trying to get electronic entertainment under control, just keep track of your progress in a diary. so what are your educational interests and goals? What about sport activities?

I used to play 2-3 hours of sport per day in the past and do all coursework as much as my time allowed. When i had tried speaking to other people i noticed mistakes in those people or threats in them. When i thought why Im blocking communication, i couldn't get the honest answer from myself. When i went in to write an exam paper I hadn’t revised, I was going to successfully fail it, producing the best possible result in that situation. Until it dawned that fixation on being right means relying on criteria that aren't meant to produce success. Not seeing the main goal, meant that all these smaller rules were inconsequential. Put in a gray area situation, I couldn't trust myself and folded. Any lack of or rules meant instant defeat. . Such a shaky foundation to circumvent having to love and trust oneself. Its at those moments there is a short moment you need faith, you have to let go and enable the fight to play out. If you turn back, you will spend a long time trying to be right.

The work stress is doing what video games used to do in the past. It blocks worries. All work has some stress associated with it, but types of stress differ. Do we choose work based on the type of stress we encountered in the past as gamers?

I was considering video game goals from several games and made the following assessment : They are based in quantity, because the coding software is not tailored to interpreting quality of work; They are derived from dexterity of pressing buttons, remembering a combination of keys, pathfinding. these skills are not applicable in work or education. Any minor skill (ie learning english) is heavily outweighed by health problems caused by gaming. The goals have to be easy to follow or otherwise the games that make goals very complex, take away more time from the player because he spends more time to master the game, causing frustration from lack of success feedback. Communication skills are absent in games. And what is present in the form of communication, makes a person lose the communication skills that they possessed before. one pervasive aspect is the perception of completion: players continue playing games to complete something, because game designers are good at giving completion feedback. In total, games take away the natural resistance in life that typically makes boys so powerful, independent, bright, honest in their communities.

One of my managers discussed his proposals to changes at the workplace with the team including new paid positions. It was a semi formal meeting with him stating he cannot sleep at night because of his concerns. It would have otherwise been a very boring conference call, had he not showed his humorous side. i cant help but notice my morale is rock bottom. Ive been with the company for years, but it doesn't seem to me that I am part of a team. I work with applications, data, but not people. My instinct is to go for safety, to the effect that roles with more responsibility are sabotaged. This kind of behaviour takes away from the morale I think. I want to pass the examination for a new role, for which I will have to practice in making verbal submissions.

Welcome back Franek! Can you describe your education and dream profession, group of like minded men just to better see what is motivating you? What makes you think 1 hour per day will enable you to achieve your goals?

I am feeling overworked and had to plead with my landlord about settling rent arrears. If he is going to refuse, I have to start looking for new properties which is a sizable expense in terms of moving places. Quality went further down because working six days a week doesn't leave much for recuperation. The book club’s guest speaker discussed a horror story with us which wasn’t of much interest to me. One of the members kept interrupting the lecturer with his remarks about the story and eventually the guest speaker warned he would remove him from the class.

Welcome back my man. Like your skiing goggles. I see a Solid response to gaming scraps. Can you describe a successful day at your gym?

System trap elaborated Recovering men have a leftover sense for a need of false safety. This illusion or mirage plays out by following games, films, social media groups. This then highlights cowardice in people attached to following the media platforms. As day to day tasks are habitually failed, the effect will be a pro cyclical one, with a person ever more unwilling to get to know his family, work and university colleagues etc. Another instance of when a relapse can happen is the phase of initial recovery. As a person earns a degree self-respect, esteem and dignity, some of his earned experience and skills on the job will free up a lot of mental energy and time for new areas of development. The employer may give him a promotion. A partially recovered person, may totally ignore the new responsibilities and revert to addictions. This behaviour occurs, because a person is lulled into thinking the pain has gone away for good, and no new challenges or growth are necessary for him, and decides to return to a sense of safety he experienced long before with electronic entertainment. This pro cyclicality will trigger a repeat crisis.

Looking at your green text, I think over the things members missed in their life as an obstacle to healing. I have seen many return after an insatiable obstinate internet or game session. If I use words like surrender pride, accept mistakes, let go of pain and recover with the help of a kind man, I somewhat near the answer. The issue is, the green text in your post does not address that, because the language has become very ambiguous and inaccurate. A single word now conveys many different associations inside a person’s head. You may have meant the things I listed with the green text, but words are so diluted these days. Then, unhealthy environments and our defensive reactions to these environments we are in, can and do create recurring cycles of struggling to heal, experiencing temporary improvement (or not) and then sliding back into old ways. How can you change the environment. Advice commonly given : “change yourself first and everything else will change”. I think what has kept me in the same shell for years is that I either tried to change myself or the environment around me, but changing the interaction with the people around me, the thing that is in between the two, was the hardest. Have I overcome these barriers? Some time ago yes, and then I experienced hope. What helped me were people with kind and brave hearts. A leader/mentor was important to have, but I could not find one for years. The environment was conducive to fear, disagreements, misunderstandings and grudges to which I was party. This downward spiral was facilitated in part by centralized mass communications platforms whose models people act out for lack of other examples. When I directly went to ask for help, I got the reply to the effect: “we dont know how to solve your issue”. And then I encountered a person who sat down and talked to me. He listened and smiled and the smile didn't cause fear which was something out of the ordinary. Over the next year, I was able to care about myself in ways I didn't deem possible at that point.

My friends have become ever more busy and unavailable. For over a year straight I haven’t met with anyone from my university or work. I don't know if it is my lack of initiative or people prefer chat apps these days.

Doing slightly better, energy is very low. With my new financial plan, I shall put rent arrears in check and be back on schedule with payments in the next 6 months. I started eating a bit more than before, I think that I am seriously undernourished, but finding better food has been hard because I do not know what my needs are.

@YanIn your posts, the day counts look very attractive. Your journal displays perfection which may also guide you to the reason for the relapse. This attraction to counters distinguishes gamers because video games of all sorts communicate their successes to the player in this way. I have this thinking for men who have taken the path to recovery in general: they have to start doing things they habitually outright avoid and deny. It can be difficult due to lack of knowledge. many do not have safe people with whom they can share so that they can become more aware, many do not address areas of chronic neglect. Asking someone close and trustworthy for help is a major step in healing.

I was pulled to watch talk shows last night. I didnt do it because the motivation was coming from neglecting my duties. It was a mixed day with some wins and some losses. I did nit exercise, but I did part of my coursework assignment.