NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
dirac
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Posts posted by dirac
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@WhoCares Im glad to hear you have a project in mind, thats pretty cool! As far as I know there is a masters course at my university every summer where they teach FPGA programming, they even gift you a board for that. I am definitely planning to take that course next year!
Right now I am struggling a bit with getting in to arduino again because just going through the parts as I did before is neither challenging nor fun but I dont know if I know enough for an actual project yet. But I think I will just go ahead anyways and do some simple projects out of a book that I have.
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This is my fourth post today but I still want to bring down some thougts. From now on I wanna plan my days in advance so there is less time where I dont know what to do, because I feel like thats most dangerous. I realize the best thing I could do, is to not be at home so I cant game but the pandemic doesnt really allow that. Also basically all my interests/hobbies and work are done on the computer so I cant really avoid my computer that well.
However if I plan my days in advance I will be able decrease the time I browse around youtube and might get triggered to game. Because another habit that I picked up latey is to read youtube comments which also has had a negative impact on me. Because for many videos the comment section is a very toxic place. So to combine all of this I wanna make sure I dont start my day on the computer and that I only use it if I actually want to do something productive on it like programming.
Another thing I want to try is to not wear sweatpants all day. This might be weird but I had the idea that wearing clothes that I would also wear to work could put me into a more productive mindset.
Because I felt healthy again today I also want to go to the gym again tomorrow.
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@WhoCares Thanks for your input! I think thats where my physics degree might come in handy because I had a c++ course for one semester and also studied things like ohms law and basic electric components along the way. I think I will also post my arduino progress in here from time to time so you can see how its going. Are you still working on projects?
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I actually really wanna post now, even though its just afternoon because I had kind of a crazy day already.
Day 0
So I failed today because I played games again but I also had some sort of revelation. My mistake was to just have "quit gaming" as my goal and no actual tactic/approach how to do it. I mean the first day I just watched netflix all day while I had strong cravings and just didnt know what to do with my time. Today I woke up with cravings to game again and I just couldnt bring up the willpower anymore so I gamed for like 3 hours in the morning.
But I didnt enjoy it at all. I actually felt miserable and after a while I just stopped. I started watching some videos of the game quitters youtube channel and I got really inspired and realized that I need an action plan. I have to do this more methodically. I have to find out why and when I game. I also have to find out what my triggers are and then I have to find activities that I can replace gaming with. Those activites I definitely want to be programming, sports, arduino and reading.
I will also spend some time today and tomorrow by reading the respawn guide again.
Another thing that also happened today is that I got a job interview for a job at a great company in my city, where I can work on robotics in industry while still studying at university. The job interview will be in about 10 days and its kind of a dream job for me. I am super excited and this also motivated me very hard to stop gaming. I dont know what that job interview could be like but in case they ask me coding questions of some sort I want to be prepared so I will spend some time coding until then.
I actually started a daily coding challenge a while ago which I only held up for like 5-6 days but they kept sending me the challenges so I think I will just do all the ones I missed tomorrow and the following days.
Im not gonna die if I dont get that job and I until the interview I wont even know what exactly I will be doing there but the thougt of that alone really motivates me and that is what I need right now!
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Hey man, thanks for sharing ! Thats so cool, also the fact that you got into as early as 12 years old and have been doing projects like this! If my math is correct then you are 17 years old now, while I am 26. Imagine how amazing you could be at this stuff when you are my age if you just keep improving your skills with this. You would probably know more than most electrical engineers! I mean the younger you are the more hidden potential you have. If you spend your time and energy wisely you could become russias elon musk. I wish I had discovered my love for physics and engineering when I was your age but I stumbled around not knowing what I like to do till I was 22 years old. Thats also when I started studying physics at the university.
How did you start doing arduino ? Did you follow tutorials ?
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Day 1
Man this was so tough today. I am so proud that I didnt game I can hardly put it into words.
I woke up feeling quite bad again. Just exhausted and feeling like I am starting to get sick. I immediately wanted to just spend the whole day gaming. I even downloaded steam and dota again. But as soon as the download was finished I was thinking about the post I wrote yesterday and the comments you guys wrote so I was like "na f*ck it" and deleted dota and steam again. I am not gonna lie, I spend 70% of the day watching stuff on netflix because I still didnt feel healthy and couldnt concentrate that well. But the fact that I didnt game even though I was so close to it and craved it the entire day was amazing. I dont think I ever managed that. So far I only managed to stop gaming when I was sick of it or just didnt want to anymore but never had I managed to stay away from it when I actually wanted to play games.
So this was a nice first day. Lets keep it up !
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I never thougt I would get two comments on that post ! I will answer them first and then talk about today.
@BooksandTrees I agree so much with what you say. I think the discomfort you feel when you are at a bad place can be a real powerful motivator. I also believe that everyones path to a gaming free life is different. I do have to say that I really love university so far. I find it so easy to motivate myself for the courses at uni and I have so much fun doing them but I struggle so hard to not waste my complete free time on games.
@WhoCares Hi, so there was already a lot of programming involved in my studies for university but right now I want to get more into machine learning. I even bought a book from the creator of the Keras and tensorflow libraries but because I have been gaming the entire holidays I didnt start to read it yet. But I will start tomorrow ! And yes I was actually talking about arduino when I said electrical engineering 🙂 . This is a hobby that I would love to get into more, to be able to build cool stuff at some point and also just have a deeper understanding of technology. Because I always felt like technology is the future of humanity and we are surrounded by it in our daily lifes but I have no clue about how most of it works. That arduino stuff seemed also really easy to get into and so far my physics didnt help me. There are lots of tutorials and everything online, so if you are interested in that I would just recommend you to buy a kit on amazon or smth and get going!
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I havent been here a while but today I coming back determined.
The last weeks gave me a very interesting insight into myself and my relationship to gaming. This post is more for myself but if anyone can take something from it I wouldnt mind.
Since I finished my bachelors degree at the beginning of this month I had some interesting experiences. The days prior to the defense of my thesis I felt very bad emotionally. Probably the worst I felt in the last 1-2 years. I dont really know what it was but it was bad. I actually made a video adressed to myself where I just monologued a little about how its been going. I think I will watch this video tomorrow just to see what was on my mind back then. I think my emotional unwellness came from a mixture of stress, gaming to much and just feeling unhappy with my life. And then after my thesis defense I stopped gaming. I kept that up for about a week. This week was probably the best week I had this entire year. I did a lot with friends and my girlfriend, went to the gym, programmed a little by myself, got into electrical engineering and spent some time reading. It was really amazing, it was actually how I always wanted my life to be like. Just this feeling of being able to sit down and not do anything for a couple of minutes, neither feeling pulled towards gaming nor watching a video or anything was amazing. It went really well as I said for about a week. Then I came home from the gym last thursday and I felt like I was getting sick. It felt a little bit like the time I got corona which happened in march, so I was kind of scared that I might have caught it again. On thursday I even felt too bad to sit on the computer so I just layed in bed watching netflix all day. Then on friday I still felt a little bad so I was like " I cant be productive like this anyways, and I dont wanna watch anything. Hm I think its ok to game again because you know I am feeling to bad to do anything else" and thats when it all started again. I played games the entire weekend including today. I do have to say I kind of enjoyed it but I could have done so much more, especially because I have been feeling good again since yesterday.
This was my final prove, that I have to quit gaming for ever. As long as gaming is an optional activity its always gonna overrule everything else. And it doesnt matter if I am sick or bored or alone or if "I earned it". I am 26 years old and I feel like I have achieved nothing.
This brings me to another point. While I wasnt gaming and using my time well, even if it was just for about a week, I was feeling so good about myself. I was proud of how well I did in my bachelor and that I really did something there and that this is actually a big achievement. I mean its a bachelors degree in physics!! Most people on the planet couldnt even do that. But as soon as I am back to gaming I feel like some kind of loser. When I game I see myself as someone who still lives with his mother is totally overweight, doesnt have a job and never talked to a girl. Which is so far from true.
This even got to a point where I am still pushing forward the dinner date with my parents in a nice restaurant because I feel like "I dont deserve it because I am such a loser who just plays dota all day". And this is so sad. My parents want to celebrate my degree with me and I feel like its nothing..
I finally understood. I have to fully quit. No bullsh*t, shortcuts or whatever. No excuses, no whining. No "only singleplayer" or "only two hours per day" or "only to times a week."
I recently watched a video of youtuber I really like and someone asked him what he thinks about alcohol and what he said was simply "if you can drink in moderation then do it, if you cant then never touch alcohol again." I cant game in moderation. So I am never touching games again.
Tomorrow is day 1 of my new life!
Iam making this extra cheesy so it feels even worse to game again. After a post like this I better deliver, right?
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@illi I am glad to see you doing well! Reading your entries from the past weeks definitely makes me feel like you are growing in terms of your struggles.
I also plan my days in advance, always the night before. Im doing that for several reasons. First I know that gaming is my go to activity when I am bored, so by having a list of tasks to follow I can minimize boredom and idleness. Of course it doesnt always work out like that because some tasks take much less/more time than anticipated but in the end its still worth it. Another reason why I plan my day in advance is because it enables me to know when I can relax and not feel like I have to be productive.
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Hi illi, Im glad to hear that my journal inspired you a little. When I read your post from the 5th of August I saw that your history with gaming seems similar to mine. If you kept up your streak you should be clean about 3 weeks by now, thats amazing! Cant remember the last time I made it that long.
I burst out laughing when I read : while a story-based single-player game is a glass of wine in the evening, a PvP multiplayer online game was like shooting heroin behind a dumpster.
I can relate to that so hard. I also played single-player games quite some time but it always felt way more chill and I would only play them while I enjoyed them. I never got mad at them or anything else. But with the hardcore online games (dota for me) I played for hours even though I sometimes hated every minute of it but I just couldnt stop.
Towards the end you asked the following question: "Should I sit all day with my thoughts and think them through and analyse them for as long as needed until I find a solution and get some internal relief, or should I get out of the house as fast as possible and look for something else to do? The second option seems to work, although isn't that still escapism? "
I dont know about your inner voice but I consider myself mentally stable and more or less resilient and if I would do the first option I am sure I would end up gaming sooner or later because if you do have a problem with gaming your mind will find a way to talk you back into it. I believe that addiction is a level above thinking and can thus not be conquered by it. So better be outside as much as possible or be as busy as possible with other things. Its mostly about filling the void that gaming will leave. If you like those hardcore competitive online games, maybe you should get into a competitive sport? And if you have a need to escape in something maybe try painting?
I can really recommend the Respawn guide from @Cam Adair hes also going well into detail about how to quit gaming the right way and I believe his approach is the best way to go.
Good luck on your journey!
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6 days of no gaming.
Today was great, I was so productive I studied a lot and I feel like I am gonna axe this exam. Because I did almost every additional exercise I found on the internet and I feel like I know everything we did. This is the feeling that I want before my exam. Tomorrow I am gonna do some till the early afternoon and then I am gonna relax and mentally prepare. I also went to training today which was great.
I cant wait to finish the exam and then use this time in my holidays. First of all I will spend some time moving though, as I am moving in with my girlfriend this month.
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Today was also a really good day. I continued to be productive and did some more nice studying. I found some nice additional exercises that I will be doing tomorrow. I didnt game and I feel really good not gaming. I am starting to get more and more motivated which could be because of the no gaming.
Tonight I watched some episodes of the umbrella academy (amazing series by the way) and the father of the children really inspired me in a way. I was thinking that basically everyone can become an amazingly powerful/succesful being given he is smart enough and works hard enough. This got me thinking a little bit more about myself. I always had this mindset that you can achieve anything if you work hard and smart for it but to be honest I never really put that much work into anything. I never had a big goal that would motivate and drive me to do so. My goals and dreams where always in motion and I never really felt like chasing a certain goal for very long. I mean I am doing well at uni and im not really lazy or anything, but I never really "hustled" so to speak. And I today I realised that I will never have an amazing life if I dont start to go hard at some point. I keep pushing this point forward in my life which is a huge problem. I feel somewhat entitled to an amazing life and I always think I will have decent money and an awesome job later but I never really do something for it apart of my uni stuff. I want so much in life later, so much more than an "average" life but I havent done anything for it yet. Im not studying harder than most people I am not working on any projects or reading anything or learning more than I have to.
I want to start using my time better. I want to work more and do more and make sure that when I am 50 years old I wont look back and say "man I was a lazy piece of shit in my 20's, all I did was gaming while my friends from uni did so many things which got them to really high places now, while I am just an average joe whos doing kind of fine." I mean I only have this one live and instead of making it the best life possible I waste most of it on youtube and netflix or gaming. Of course there has to be some sort of balance but balance shouldnt mean wasting 3-6 hours a day on nonsense with no value for later.
I really want to change my life around and I believe that no gaming is an essential part of it. I will start counting days now and start every post with my streak, which by today is 5days of no gaming.
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Today was even better than yesterday. I basically studied all day and then had two beers with some friends. In the beginning I was only kind of productive, I was redoing some old problems for my exam next week and I didnt feel very engaged. Later I looked up some new exercises online and I was way more motivated to do something "new". I did well and I enjoyed doing it. Tomorrow I am planning to do the same. I cant wait to finish the exam and start my projects that I want to do in the holidays.
I have to say I am a bit jealous of one of my friends who had I a beer with tonight. He did his bachelor's thesis in a field and group that turned out to be totally his thing. While I wasnt very interested in the topic I worked on and feel in general kind of lost in university right now because I just dont know where I want to go. I think next semester I will just take as many different courses as possible and see what I like most.
But anyways, good day lets make a better one tomorrow!
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Today was another really good day. I went to the gym in the morning I was quite productive with studying and felt good throughout the day. I realised again though that working out in the morning is just not for me, I just like working out in the evening much more.
When I was done with studying at around 6pm I realised that this is where its becoming important to find some new activity. Something that I can and want to do where I can relax. Something that isnt very demanding. I really didnt feel like reading or anything but maybe thats only because reading is in general still a new activity to me, basically the opposite of a habit.
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Yeah I think that is good point from you guys. I mean what better way would there be to quit gaming than to find something you just enjoy more! Right now I am in my exam period but I will start thinking about and looking for stuff to do in my free time that I can be passionate about.
The thing with sport is that I am doing it whenever I can but I tend to do long workouts with heavy weights and wrestling and I often have to take a day off because I have to recover. Maybe this will improve over time and I can workout more frequently. But I have always been very passionate about that.
I already set myself two projects for the time after my exams so this will be a very good time to see if this can be better than gaming for me.
Today was really good, I did everything I wanted to. Studying went well and I didnt have any cravings toward gaming. Tomorrow I will go to the gym with my girlfriend and she wants to do my workout I am really excited about that! Apart from that I will study a lot and make sure to fulfill all my goals for tomorrow.
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@Amphibian220 Hey Amphibian, glad to see that you read my posts!
Yes I can definitely tell you my thougt process because it is almost always the same. At first I am feeling great because of the game. I get much more done I feel better and spend my time on things that I actualy care about. But after a short while I get an urge to play again. In the beginning I can just resist it but if I have been off gaming for a while Im telling myself that I am totally in control now and if I game a little nothing will happen, I mean I can just stop right? And I did so well the past weeks I deserve a little gaming time right? And then I start to tell myself its ok if I just play once a week. But then once a week becomes twice a week and so on.
One other thougt process that I have always appears after a bigger project or an exam period. I dont game during the exams or the project to be more focussed and to not waste time. But as soon as the exam period is over I feel like I "deserve" to game now because I did well or whatever.
In the end it comes down to the fact that I stop gaming because Im falling behind on stuff but as soon as I feel in control again I start to game again.
It is actually a good idea from you to ask that question. I tend not to reflect a lot about my gaming behaviour.
I am doing quite a lot of sport. And I agree it is a very good substitute in a way. But the thing is with sport I can only do it once a day a couple of days per week. The problem for me would be what I do after sports then. But I am figuring it out at the moment. Iam starting to read again and just watch documentaries about interesting topics. Even though I am cutting down on media in general.
Today was pretty great I have to say. I set myself a lot of goals and achieved all of them. I was really commited and focussed. I will keep this up for tomorrow. I already wrote down what I am gonna do it and I will go hard! And of course I didnt game today!
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Today something happened which made me feel very bad. The last weeks I was kind of slacking off. I gamed and watched netflix a lot because I didnt have that much stuff to do. I planned everything pretty well and was productive during most of the semester so the last weeks were kind of relaxed. This friday I was supposed to hand in two projects about machine learning. The first won (i thougt) went really well, the second one not so well but I thougt I would manage. Then today someone showed me that my first project was completely wrong and I had to do it all over which is almost impossible till friday. Then I realised my second project is also going very bad and is not gonna be done in time. So I did something I never have before which might not seem like a big deal to many people but to me its a huge deal, big enough to shatter my self confidence. I dropped out of the course because I didnt want to risk getting a horrible grade.
This was just the last drop needed to really do me in. I finished my bachelor thesis yesterday and it turned out to be really good but I felt like I have gotten way to much help because I didnt invest the necessary time myself. I also didnt understand as much as I wanted to. I also had another project that I wanted to do really well even though it wasnt graded. I ended up procrastinating and gaming all the time so I ended up doing the bare minimum for the project, even though it was really cool and I was so excited about it.
I also went to the gym last week and did my first leg workout since corona. And I used like less than half my weight I previously used and I was saw for days.
All this stuff just made me realize that I am wasting my life with all that nonsense gaming and youtube shit. I just hate it so much. I just dont want to suck at everything I do anymore. I want to be good at things and I want to enjoy my life. Right now its half past twelve and I am super tired but i really needed to write it all out. Ive become a lazy slob that cant motivate himself to wash his clothes nor to do more than the bare minimum for his "career" or health. Since I can remember I always wanted more for myself than just being average. I wanted to be stronger, smarter and more successful than average. But all Im doing is being more lazy than average. But I am sick of it. I will use this momentum now to get back on track and get my shit together. Tomorrow I am gonna workout and give it my all. Tomorrow I will study hard the entire day. I wont eat shit. I wont game. Enough of this nonsense I am taking my life back.
Ps. I already uninstalled steam :)
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@BooksandTrees I totally agree with you. I mean there is a saying that it takes about 60 days to build a habit and sometimes people try to build too many at once in an urge to get their live together and in the end just fail. Patience really is the key I guess.
So the last week I suffered from an annoying headache which I managed to get rid of on the weekend by foam rolling and stretching a lot. Because of that my last week was really unproductive and not that nice overall. I didnt perform well at uni, didnt do any sports and just played a lot of games. I still find it super hard to spend my time when I am sick. But well now I am healthy again and I started this week really well.
I was really productive today and tomorrow a friend is coming over and we will keep each other company while writing our theses. I will try to approach this week a little more relaxed in my mind because I do feel like that the beating yourself up mentality hasnt been that successful for me.
I set my goals for the week and put them next to my desk so I can see them everyday. So far its going well.
I also found a new way of dealing with gaming. I decided to completely cut gaming alone. I will from now on only game with friends and that is also limited. I am using an app called habitica which is one of those gamify your live apps and it has a system where you earn gold whenever you complete one of your tasks,habits,hobbies. And the gold you can use to buy equipment for your character or for self made "rewards". I decided to put gaming with a friend as a reward for a price that enables me to game like 2-3 times a week for about 1-2 hours each. If I will stick to it I would be very happy with that.
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The past two days went really well. I didnt game for a second and I also talked to my bro and told him that I am taking a week off from gaming and he was totally supportive.
I have been thinking a lot about hobbies and how I spent my time in the last todays and I felt like splitting up my time into many different things makes my time ultimately less meaningful. This sounds a bit harsh but in the end I stand by it. If I spend my time on gaming, sport, my girlfriend, uni, netflix, reading, youtube, cooking, buying groceries I end up not progressing in any field. And thats why I decided to be more economical in my time use and focus on two or three things in my life where I want to make actual progress.
For me this means spending less time on sports, cooking, netflix and gaming because I feel like those things eat the most time and give me the least in return. With less time I dont mean no time at all, I will still be doing sport but only 3 or maximum 4 times a week and not for 2 hours but for like 45-60 minutes at a time. And I wont stop cooking and start eating takeout everyday but instead I want to make easy meals with low preparation time that are still healthy.
I want my focus to be on uni and reading and also my relationship. Those priorities might change at some point but I want to make sure I dont regret spending too much time on stuff that neither makes me super happy nor pays off in any other way later on.
Tomorrow I am gonna continue this week and stay strong !
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So the last days were kind of horrible. I dont know what has been going on lately but its really not going well for me. I am struggling so hard in basically every area of my life right now and it just sucks. Maybe the whole quarantine thing hits me more than I know but something has to change. Iam way behind on my thesis. I am way behind on my courses. Its not going well sportwise. I am failing to stay off gaming. I cant keep my room cloom, cooking is annoying me so much, I am getting takeout all the time. Basically everything is a drag for me.
And this needs to change as soon as possible. I feel like I really lost my edge. One mistake I made is that I put exercise over uni stuff which is a bit stupid for me. I mean of course working out is good and it makes you feel better but I am a physics student before anything else and I dont want to have a job later connected to sport. I want to be a scientist and work on artificial intelligence or robotics or something else. And I wont get a decent job that I enjoy if I just work for a couple of hours everyday on stuff.
I am working a lot with another student during my thesis and hes taking twice as many courses as I do and still manages to always be ahead of me in the thesis even though I would say we are about equally smart. He just has such an insane work ethic and doesnt spend time on gaming that much. I also feel like all this gaming drains so much of my energy.
The main problem I have right now is that my best friend and I are playing together and I really enjoy that but I dont feel like I can stop gaming without fully staying away from it. But I also dont want to tell my bro that I stop gaming for good now.
Im also starting to get really depressed about how I underperfom at uni at the moment. I used to be a really good student but at the moment I am struggling with everything and I get angry really quickly when I fail to solve problems.
I dont really know what to do or how to procede but I swear this week I will do more than I ever did before. I feel like I really need to proof to myself that I can achieve something. That I can be good at something. That I am disciplined enough to do what has to be done. None of this "no uni stuff after 6pm" bullshit. Im getting 26 years old next week and I have nothing to show for in my life. Im sick and tired of being a lazy, gaming piece of shit.
Wish me luck
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@Amphibian220 the concept of dota is similar to most of the "modern" online games. Into the same category I would push in league of legends, Overwatch, Fortnite and many more. Those games are all different in how you play them (strategy,shooters,rpgs....) but they are all the same in the following way:
- You play "a round" of the game. you cant finish it because they are all multiplayer only
-"a round" is usually between 20 and 60 minutes
-you play with players against other players
- horrible communities with very toxic people
- every round has highs and lows which leads to the two biggest problems:
1) you get an insane endorphin rush when you play well and win
2) you feel bad and empty if you lose
The whole concept of playing a quick round and then another and another and so on is horrible. You are always chasing the one game that was so super awesome because you played so well. Sometimes you just lose 4 times in a row and feel empty because you still didnt get the "high" that you want.
So I hope this made my problem with dota a little more clear. Of course this is just my point of view and I am sure others might disagree.
Apart from that my day was nice, I did most of what I wanted to do, I was kind of productive for uni but I also realised that I find it very hard to do uni stuff after working out in the afternoon. I will try to do my workouts from now on either later in the evening or first thing in the morning. I didnt game so far but I will play half an hour of a "non threatening" singleplayer game now. After that I will meditate and then go to bed:)
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Again it has been a while.
The last weeks went kind of well, I was productive most of the time but I struggled with playing dota too much.
Last sunday I decided I will never play dota again because of how it makes me feel and how much time I waste on it without gaining anything in return.
This time is the first time I actually involved my girlfriend in it. I told her how bad dota makes me feel and how I struggle to deal. She says she will fully support me in quitting and help me however I need it. This is great of course and it also makes the whole thing more serious.
Im not quitting gaming all together, just the addictive online games. I never struggled with singleplayer stuff or playing a coop game with a bro. But it will be highly reduced. My plan right now is to only play with my bro twice a week and not at all alone.
I am writing my bachelor thesis right now and I also take two courses. I want to make the best out of the time at the moment.
I want to come out of this quarantine as a different person and I will take steps to do so. Of course I want to ace my thesis and courses but I also want to grow on a more personal level.
During this quarantine I want to:
-Quit online games for good
-become healthier and fitter than ever before
-reach a weight of 90kg
-get my finances in order
-develope a meditation habbit
-develope a reading habbit
-get more into robotics
I know its a little much but I dont know how long this quarantine shit is gonna last and I am not planning to do it all at once. I just want to make sure I dont get bored again at some point and pick up dota again.
I will try to post daily again and to use this as my journal.
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Hey guys,
the part I struggle most with is what to do on evenings instead of gaming. Any recommendations?
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Well well it has been quite some time since my last post.
I spent the time from the first of february till the sixth of march studying for my exams. I actually convinced my dad to pick up my computer so I could focus more on my exams. For the studying I used my laptop which isnt good enough to run dota which is my main weakness. I did play quite some age of mythology though, an old rts that I still enjoy. I never went crazy on it and played mostly after studying.
The exams went well and I finally finished all my bachelors exams. Now I just have to write the thesis which I started about 10 days ago.
The main reasons why I stopped posting here was because I didnt consider gaming that much of a problem anymore, as my computer was gone.
But since I got my computer back and this whole quarantine stuff started I fell right back into gaming. In the beginning I didnt mind but by now I its starting to really bother me.
I feel like I am wasting this quarantine so to speak. I will probably never have more time to read / do sports / cook / study or to just do all the stuff I never have time for and I waste it with gaming.
University starts monday next week the 20th. By then I will stop gaming completely. Until then I will allow myself to play with a friend of mine only mostly because he also doesnt have that much time and its probably gonna stop in the next couple of days because by then we will have finished the game.
I want to come out of this quarantine as a better person. I wanna be smarter, stronger, fitter, healthier than before.
I want to develope routines and habits that will last, I want to learn new skills and be better than ever.
The next couple of days I will use to figure out the what and hows.
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Dirac's Journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
Day 1(ish)
So today was actually kind of mixed. I felt pretty good about myself and my life the entire day and I went to the gym for about 2 hours which was nice. I can safely say that I am back to full health so now feeling bad is not a good excuse anymore.
My morning was rather interesting. Because I actually wanted to read. But I couldnt concentrate. Something concerning the job interview was on my mind so I wrote an email. Then I was on the pc again which I planned not to do before lunch. So I thougt "ok you are on the pc but this means you are gonna be productive and programm now". But then I actually started watching the presidential debate for about 40 minutes and then I scrolled around youtube mindlessly for a while. So I basically lost my whole morning without gaming at all.
Here again gaming is of course not the only problem and its quite easy to lose yourself in other nonsense. Because for me mindless youtube browsing is even worse than watching a netflix series or smth like that (which is also not great).
Then when I came home from the gym I bought a new game on steam. I thougt about this for a while and talked about it with my girlfriend because the thing is that I never actually had a problem with any game that wasnt a competitive online game and the one I bought is pure singleplayer story stuff. Weirdly enough the main reason I bought it because I thougt it might motivate me to work more on my coding and arduino stuff and so far that is indeed the case. I only played about 2 hours because that seemed enough for today.
I lately realized that I really want to start reading some fiction books. Because lately I realised that I love the cyberpunk sci fi genre and there are just not many series or movies about that that I havent seen so far. And one of the things I enjoy so much about games is the worlds they create and the stories they tell which can be great to escape in. So I thougt why not just buy a book about that genre you want to get into.
I also just found out that I have much more tutorials for Arduino things that I thougt. Because so far the only tutorials I found where about single parts and how to wire them which is basically always the same after a while and wasnt very entertaining. But now that I know that I have more interesting tutorials as well I am quite eager to go at them tomorrow.
I will actually count this day towards my no gaming because for me the goal is to stay away from dota and other cancers like that. If I play a game at night for 1-2 hours I am perfectly fine with it. But the ground on which I rate whether or not it counts is how I feel when I think I should stop. If I see myself struggling to do other activities or experience strong cravings or game for longer periods than I want to then I will reset the streak and stop gaming completely.