wookieshark88

Brene Brown is awesome. All of her other books are on my list! It's really cool to see your progress since you started your journal. The struggle with external validation was a very tough one for me from the time I started kindergarten, and I completely get through it until I was about 25. From reading your words, I feel really confident that you're going to get through it.

Excellent goals! You're so clear in what you want to achieve, and I think you will do quite well.

Hi Richard! It's awesome that you took the time to share your story with us. It is definitely something I can relate to. Stick with us, and together we're going to get out of this awful rut of obsessive gaming. Also, Alex's advice was excellent, and I couldn't have giving you better advice myself!

I really enjoyed reading about your club experience! Also, I'm really excited to see that you've been meditating. If you have any questions about how it goes, I would be happy to help you out. I'm no pro, but I have a pretty good foundation at this point.

I finally caught up on reading your journal. Congratulations! The game quitters daddy club is growing! If you have any questions or want to talk about fatherhood, just ask. I'm an expert at 0 - 7 months, but am clueless for everything beyond that!

Today was a good day with some speed bumps thrown in. Swim class was really nice, and my baby is really starting to enjoy the water more and more. She was kicking and splashing the whole time. It was awesome. After that, we went to have breakfast. I got apple crisp French toast and it was AWESOME. The whole meal was just delightful. Speaking of delightful meals, last nights pizza was one of the best pizzas I've ever had! Once we got home from swimming and breakfast, my wife and baby went to have a nap. I thought that it would be a great thing to make a big batch of split pea soup for them to wake up too! While they slept I got to work cooking. They both work up while the soup was on the stove cooking which was a nice surprise for them! I went to do my meditation while the soup was simmering on the stove. When I came back to the kitchen the pot was billowing with smoke. The soup looked like it was boiling, but instead of steam, smoke was pouring out of it. I had accidentally left the burner on too high. The soup was burned. I burned the soup... How do you burn soup!? I'm so ashamed. Once I got the smoke to stop pouring out of the pot, I looked into the pot. It looked normal and really good in there. I have made split pea soup many times before, and it has always been delicious and popular so I figured out would try it out. It tasted like pea flavored charcoal. Ugh, I made a huge pot that would have fed us for dinner and for lunch every day this week. I had no other choice but to throw it out. Looking for a change of pace to take our minds for the great soup fire of 2015, we decided to go to the outlet mall. I needed a shirt or two, and my wife needed some stuff too. Our baby is so much fun there hamming it up for anybody who would give her attention. We got what we needed, got some good walking in, let the house air out, and had some fun! When we got home, it was time to give the baby her bath. I go to draw the water for her but it doesn't warm up. So instead of giving her a bath, I go down to the basement to tinker around with the hot water heater. Thankfully, I got it all figured out and reset in a few minutes, but the water wasn't going to be warm enough in time for her bath. Being the improvising guy that I am, I just strip her down and wipe down every inch of her body with baby wipes and put her in her pajamas. I took her over to my wife to see if she passed the sniff test. My wife has a very sensitive nose so if she didn't smell anything bad it was going to be bed time for the baby. Success was had! I had baby wiped all of the odors off of my baby. I am the master of getting my baby to bed without fussing so I went to go do the bedtime routing...and failed. My baby was jumping, screaming, twisting, and sobbing. It was disastrous. Thankfully, my wife was able to get her down with the ease that I usually have. Now, I'm journaling and sipping my chamomile tea while thinking about the successes and failures of the day with a humorous attitude. This is the kind of stuff that would have just stressed me out, but I am so much more grounded that I ever have been. My wife and I have laughed about the day as a whole, and she's wrapping up dinner now so I don't burn the house down. I needed this to be a long journal entry to just get it all out. I'm thankful for: My wife helping me recover from my missteps.Knowing that she is there for me when I need her.Having no stomach pains again. I'm getting better!My baby being so kind to people at the outlet.Having fun and being able to laugh.Having the chance to reset for tomorrow.My wife allowing me to make split pea soup next weekend. I really want to redeem myself (and I love split pea soup).Swim class. I look forward to it every week.Dinner. Roasted veggies with turkey kielbasa is tasty!Post baby bed time. It's so relaxing and I always feel like a champion after a day well done.

That graphic you put together is awesome!

The first time I had gastritis I was drinking a lot and really unhappy with my life situation. This time it's probably just a combination of too many coffees, teas, spicy food, the pressure of the midterm, and being constantly busy. I've started on probiotics today and feel pretty good! Of course I can't be sure if the probiotics are helping because I've also eliminated the caffeine, spicy stuff, and have had a much easier week. Either way things are looking up! I also found that chamomile tea is very stomach friendly so I'm getting my hot beverage fix from that. Today was great! The family and I had a fairly low key day today. I was able to hang out with a friend for a few hours, and there weren't too many chores to do around the house. We're about to make pizza with white sauce and no acidic components completely from scratch! I made the dough myself too which I had learned from a workshop at an Italian restaurant. I'm feeling very happy and content and have been that way all day long. My wife and I really needed a weekend where we got to slow down for a while. We dressed up the baby like a bear for the shopping trip too, haha. I never thought that I would ever enjoy dressing up a baby...ever. Fatherhood, quitting games, and focusing on personal development have completely changed me in ways that I am proud of! I'm thankful for: All the people who ever gave us baby clothes. We have an assortment of animal outfits for our daughter!Being mindful all day. I still need to meditate which I will do after dinner.My wife for being the kind of person who adds to the richness of life.My baby for bouncing around all day and being a blast to spend time with.Having a lull in my classwork to just recenter myself.Homemade pizza!My new friend is really cool!Having this forum to talk to excellent people!Not having any pain again today!Not having very many chores left for the rest of the weekend.

Cordharel, I agree about switching to green tea. I really like having green tea and was doing that, but it really gets old to feel like I just got punched in the gut for hours on end so I just quit all caffeine. The headache and minor fatigue that I had for two days is nothing in comparison. Now, I'm free of caffeine and will pick up green tea after I get it all in order. There are so many things I want to eat when I get better! I am proud of myself for being able to control my intake the was I have for the last few months. Today was really good! I had no stomach pains all day again which is awesome. I was able to speed walk for my entire lunch time which was great too! Listening to Arnold has been pumping me up too (pun completely intended). I highly recommend this book to anybody for entertainment purposes and to see the principles of other books put into practice. I've been working on developing a new process at work, and it's been really enjoyable. It's been stretching my abilities and knowledge at work which is awesome. Once I figure it all out, I'm going to help create the instructions so others can start doing it too. I'm thankful for: No stomach pains today!Not having too many plans for the weekend.A new record low weight. 31 down and 4 to go!Getting in some nice walks today.Having a lot of fun time with my baby this evening!My wife bringing home dinner.Having a successful work week.Regaining energy as the week went on.Being happy with life.Having wife time as soon as my entry is complete.

I've just started going through his podcast; listened to the Arnold interview the other day. It was awesome. I never knew that much about Arnold... after listening to that, mad respect. Have you seen his documentary Pumping Iron? It's amazing as well. Arnold is basically the living embodiment of the person described in "Think and Grow Rich" and the "Slight Edge". I still need to listen to his Tim Ferriss podcast. I've been doing lots of audio books and haven't listened to the podcast. That's okay because I'll be able to binge listen when I'm ready to switch back to podcasts.

Today was a good day again. Class was dismissed early so I was able to get back to work earlier than normal. I was also very safe on the road today, and did not have any caffeine. My task at work is challenging so I'm enjoying that. My baby and I had lots of fun when I got home, and she was able to get to sleep easily when the time came. The book I'm listening to now is "Total Recall" by Arnold. It's actually a really good listen that fits right in with the theme of the "Slight Edge" and "Think and Grow Rich". This is actually what I was hoping for. I'm not too far into the book yet, but it's been great. I would recommend it for sure. I'm pretty tired after today so I'm going to end my entry now. I'm thankful for: Not having stomach pain today.Having a challenge at work.Having a good day without caffeine.Having another good book to get into.Getting in a good walk today.Having delicious pumpkin ravioli for dinner tonight.Having a good meditation session.Having good focus throughout the day.Having an easy class today.Relaxing with my wife.

I can really relate with the difficulty in feeling closeness. I feel very close with my wife and adore my baby, but I don't feel a whole lot of closeness other than that. Before my wife, I had a good long period of not feeling too close to anybody. I was definitely trying to foster that with somebody, and I finally did with my wife. I'm still working on getting it with another person, but it's just a very tough thing for me. All I can say is just stay persistent and keep working on being the best and most authentic version of yourself and it'll happen! That's what I'm doing!

I like to catch on on all the threads here when I feel (am able) to have idle internet time. It's uplifting and friendly. I'm also jealous of your peppers. I hope you enjoy them enough for two people because I'm on a bland diet until I get my stomach in order.

I haven't gotten around to reading your log until today, but it was worth it! It's well written and authentic feeling!

There's a lot of really cool people from the Classical Greek era. They were such an observant and articulate people!

Welcome back! I'm really glad you're here again! I have turned to meditation since I quit games instead of Christianity. I left that religion after being raised in it and truly believing in it. I didn't really pay much attention to spirituality for a lot of years, but I'm slowly starting to think about it more. What I like about meditation is that I get to observe and get to know myself. Nobody indoctrinates me into any belief or promises me any rewards or punishments for my behavior. As I get to know myself through mindfulness and meditation, I learn who I am and what I want to do with my life. Doing the things that my inner self, not my ego, wants to do just makes me a lot happier. My ego just wants to be entertained, be idle, and fit in with a clique. Beneath that, I have found that my deeper self wants to achieve, be unique, and help others when I can. This is all stuff that I can say and have known for years, but there's something very much different to be able to look at yourself and see it there just waiting to be unleashed.

Today was a really good day. My meditation first thing in the morning felt so brightening on my mind. I could tell from that moment that I was going to be happy all day. Nothing special happened at all today. I was just mindful of how I wasn't looking for spare moments to study. At lunch time, I walked outside and sat at a picnic table and just read my book for half an hour. I was aware of how much of a treat this was for me and just basked in every minute of it. My stomach feels pretty bad right now, but I'm still happy. My evening with my baby was good. I played with her a bit, gave her a bath, and helped her go to sleep for the night. After that, I read a few news articles and am now writing my journal entry. I really think that today would not have been so pleasant if I didn't have the mindset of being in the moment and appreciating each moment for what it was. Now, my wife is home and helping me get a few things done that I wasn't able to complete. I'm thankful for: My wife picking up the slack when I can't do any more.Reading. I'm almost done with Siddhartha!My morning meditation.My generally positive work environment.Having a couple of cats curled up on my legs.Not studying today.Enjoying the whole day.Reading some of the posts on this site. There's a lot of wonderful things on here!My mother in law for doing little chores around the house. I need to do something really special for her one of these days.Feeling at peace in my home. For many years my home caused me anxiety, depression, and was little more than a front for my video game addiction.

I'd like to add that my journal on this site is a great way to get other people's perspectives that really help me to see my days in a different light.

I had some of my stuff disappear and act funky too. The site was under some maintenance yesterday and things got a little weird. I don't really understand all of the technical details.

I think there is certainly a parallel to be drawn between the Allegory of the Cave and gaming. I think that this parallel holds true for many things in life. This can seen in people who are workaholics, drug users, or people who are just growing up. It's just like practicing mindfulness and meditation. It's a process of seeing what's really there instead of the constructs of our ego.

The "Thank God it's Tuesday" line made me smile! I said the same thing at work to my coworkers. I love the reactions I get for saying things that are harmless yet completely out of the norm.

Today was great! I took my midterm and feel pretty confident that I did well. Also, we all had to turn in our notebooks for grading which is great because I won't have the urge to work on it until I get it back! Instead of taking notes and studying during my lunch break like I have been doing for weeks now, I took a 30 minute walk. It was fantastic. After work, I played with my baby until it was time to put her to bed. My brain is a little fried from everything lately and I had trouble focusing. To get past this feeling I stood in front of my whiteboard for probably 10 minutes searching my mind for things I want to get done today. I figured that if I could just get them written down, I could just turn my brain off a little bit and just follow what I wrote down. This has been working splendidly, and I've completed about half of what I need to do without having to think about it. I read the whiteboard, do something on the list and repeat. Right now I'm on the "journal" part of my list. My whiteboard experience this evening makes me think of why it's important to have a sense of playfulness in our lives. In a video game, I would take on any challenge a game would throw at me. If my strategy didn't work, I would just tinker with my strategy until I found a way to achieve my victory. This is what I'm doing now. My goal was to use my brain to figure out what to do and do it. The brain isn't firing on all cylinders right now so I just made a little workaround so I wouldn't need to rely on it so much. This mentality is how my exercise routines have developed, my eating habits and weight loss came to be, and a bunch of other good stuff in my life. That's all I can handle writing for today. I'm thankful for: Getting half way through the semester.Having a wonderful family.Finding creative ways to get things done.Feeling extra happy today.Taking a walk through my old neighborhood today. It reminds me of how far I've come in life.The cat that's sitting on my arms and trying his best to distract me from finishing this entry.Only having moderate stomach discomfort today. This is a huge improvement from being doubled over in pain last week.Having a slower weekday than usual.Having a chance to make my wife dinner tonight. I want to reciprocate her kindness!Having a safe commute without caffeine.

New journals are always a good thing! Welcome aboard!

You are all correct in your assessments. Before I started writing my journal, I decided that today would be best used as a day of rest. I left work a little bit early and went to the library. I studied just a bit then I picked a comfortable corner in the back of the library and continued reading my book, Siddhartha. Tom, I do mean the one by Herman Hesse. It's such a wonderful and relaxing book. I think it is wonderfully thoughtful book that speaks our human condition. Even though my life is much different than Siddhartha's, I feel like he's such a deeply relatable character. I'm not done with it yet, but I'll be happy to discuss it when I finish! I really need to follow Brene Brown's advice about perfectionism. I don't need to be perfect because I am enough just the way I am. Procrastination hasn't been a problem for me at all since I quit games. It's just tricky to strike the right balance between being a father, a husband, a student, and an employee. Cordharel, I think you should do some meditation. I'm pretty biased because I have grown to love meditation in the four months since I began. If you have any questions about it, I would be more than happy to give you some tips. I'm thankful for: All of the words of wisdom and encouragement that have been shared with me here.My wife for making dinner tonight!Having a chance to slow down for a little while today.Being reminded that perfectionism is not helpful to anybody.My baby for babbling to my parents on the phone.Having a nice warm home on the first cold day of the year.The local library. I'm very happy for all the time I've spent there lately.My cat, Yuri. He sits with me every morning and meditates with me.The story of Siddhartha. It's comforting reading.Being happy. As long is I can be happy and share that with others, things are good.

Today was another good, but very challenging day. I've been trying to focus the majority of my weekend on recovery and preparing for my midterm. Unfortunately, I didn't get a lot of things done during the week so they've been piling up. My poor wife was trying to get everything done while I studied, but it was too much and stressed her out pretty good. I ended up alternating between studying and chores all day. It was pretty hectic and stressful at times. What I really need to do is realize that everything doesn't always have to be perfect all the time. It's okay to study but not feel completely prepared, and it's okay to do chores but not get everything done. As long as I give 100%, which I do every single day, I need to smile and know that it was enough. I take on a lot and because of that, there will be times when I can get it all done. I'm happy that my midterm is coming up on Tuesday! It's exciting because once it's done, I don't have to prepare for it anymore. I'm also thrilled that I have medicine for my stomach. It's been doing a bit better every day. Being back to normal is going to be great. My diet is restricted right now to bland foods which is a bummer, but I've been mindfully modifying my diet for the last few months so it hasn't really been very hard for me to do. I've been able to lose 30 pounds, get my cholesterol to a healthier level, and now I can fix my stomach. It's really amazing how much impact the foods we eat has on our lives. Since I've been sick so much this week, I've actually had time to read (with my eyes) a book! I've been reading Siddhartha which is a really cool book. I would put it in a similar category as The Alchemist. I'm about halfway done with it and would recommend it as a fun and enlightening read. Has anybody read it and have thoughts? My meditation sessions haven't been of the highest quality the last few day, but I'm sure that a lot of that has to do with the pain in my stomach. They're still helpful to remember to slow down, and just enjoy the moment regardless of my level of focus. At this point, I think I'm going to be meditating for the rest of my life. It's been such a life changing thing to just get to know myself in a way I never have. I'm thankful for: Tom's get better message. It always helps to know that somebody is rooting for you!Slowly getting better.I'm only 5 pounds away from my goal weight.Swimming with my baby this morning. It's soooo much fun!Being able to sit back and relax for a little while and write my in journal.Taking my baby's 7 month photos in the autumn leaves!A wife who is willing to do whatever she can to help me be successful.Having so many things I want to accomplish in life. With a playful attitude and a joyful spirit, these things bring me joy!Dinner is almost ready!Having a warm home. Tonight is the first night where the temperature is going to dip below freezing.