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NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened


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Posts posted by Ambassador

  1. One thing that comforts me about the (many) mistakes I've committed in the past is that, though I can't go back and fix or erase them, and though they might have consequences forever, they are a part of me not only for the bad, but also for the good. Mistakes teach. We just have to look at them the right way. They'll never cease being a part of us, but maybe they don't have to, maybe we need them not to, as reminders, and as lessons we can always look into whenever we need to. Scars. Only the fighters are scarred.

    • Like 1
  2. I relate to that feeling. But remember we place much more emphasis on other people's thoughts on us than what is really deserved. People's focuses are themselves, not us. Everyone is too busy trying not to look like a fool that they hardly notice when someone else does. And everyone will have its bad days. Kings and queens stumble and fall, famous poets misspell, though politicians stutter amidst self doubt, highly trained mathematicians change signals and miscount. Even the most well assembled and programmed computers F things up sometimes. There's a very well explained example here, approximately at 1:02:00 timestamp:

    It's a very cool presentation, anyway, I highly recommend watching it through. But the take away is: we've done effing up. Many, many times. Sometimes it scratches our knees, sometimes it costs millions of dollars. But we can always bounce back. And maybe have a good laugh at it, later on.

    Keep your head up.

    • Like 1
  3. Tenho um grande amigo cujo passatempo favorito é jogar, e sei que sou uma de suas companhias favoritas para tal. Ele não sabe do meu problema, e não acho sequer que desconfie, portanto não sabe que estou tentando parar de jogar. Sempre que o encontro ele me dá indiretas a respeito, até me presenteou com um jogo na Steam (cuja conta não exclui, mas que não tenho instalada no computador para não cair em tentação). A questão é que sei que não devo participar de atividades relacionadas a jogos, mas também não quero perder a amizade. É uma situação complicada, e eu te entendo completamente. Mas acho que nesse momento você tem que se priorizar. É a sua vida e o seu futuro que está em jogo (desculpe pelo trocadilho de mau gosto), e você deve ser sua primeira e mais alta prioridade. Procure compartilhar experiências fora dos jogos, tente levar seus amigos a entender que você precisa de um tempo fora disso e não ceda às pressões. Ninguém tem que te entender, as pessoas tem que aceitar a SUA escolha e lidar com ela como puderem. É tempo de ser intransigente.

    Continue firme e forte, cara. A gente consegue!

  4. Faltering under a stranger's pain

    Slacked off a bit today, unfortunately. I have the annoying characteristic of being easily triggered by trolls and polemicists, and going into YT for political and economic lectures and reports, as well-intentioned as it might be, will sometimes end with me meddled with some useless, focus-shattering, energy-draining, endless discussion. That will create the stressful experience that will make the recommended videos a strategic pitfall. Now matter how relevant or informative the videos are, it's not what I'm supposed to be doing! I have to learn how to deal with my feelings and how to get over ill-intended people, because both things will never cease to exist.

    But that wasn't what struck me the hardest today. My GF messaged me late morning today about a classmate of hers. The girl attempted against her own life during a practice at their university. When my GF got to the clinic they practice together under supervision (it's a healthcare related course), her classmate had cut her own wrists with a scalpel. My GF had to help the girl basically alone, as her other classmate and the teacher that were present at moment were both panicking due to the fact that both had had past experiences with depression and self harm. My GF only reached me after the fact, and after having an anxiety attack and I tried to help from afar the best I could, but there was nothing much I could do other than recommend the national service for suicide prevention and to give some ideas on how to deal with the fallout, like keeping an eye on the girl, contacting the university's social service, stuff like that.

    The whole thing got me thinking about how fragile we are, and how it doesn't take much to knock us out of balance, to put us on the verge of disaster, specially on the current climate of increased anxiety, open discrimination and pressure to conform to social normative that so many of us live under. Life is precious beyond description. We must care for it not only inside of our political, religious or philosophical dogmas and narratives, but all around us, in our neighborhoods, our communities, despite the difference, despite the odds and the issues. I wish we could stop looking down one another and start looking up for each other more often, sincerely and with joy.

    For those out there struggling with depression, don't think you are alone, and don't think no one cares. I do. Many others also do. Ask for help, reach out. I'm here if you need it, just PM. Or reach your national Suicide Prevention Service, odds are there's a 24/7 phone line you can call and talk. Reach out.

    • Like 3
  5. Should try harder

    Yesterday I missed my daily entry. Day was quite busy, but not really productive, and at the evening I went to a ballet presentation with GF, Got home late and was too tired, didn't bother to fire the notebook just to write the entry, though I probably should have. Habits die pretty quickly if you let them, I don't want to let this one go.

    Today was fine, I guess, did some stuff on my thesis, watched a movie with GF... an overall nice Sunday. But I really, really need to be more productive. I know, it's only one month out of gaming, I have to find myself and all of that, but I feel it's upon me to try harder, too. Be mindful of my plans, don't be too carefree as I'm used too, really put myself into it. I want it badly, I know I'm able to do a good work, but time is against me. i cant afford to lose any more of it, as I have lost plenty already.

    Focus and effort to keep going, and onwards we go!

    Edit: shout out to @Ikar, thanks for the visit, mate. Yes, keep your backups updated, electronics are unpredictable and will let you down sooner or later. Standalone backups are even better than the cloud.

    • Like 3
  6. Outta luck

    Having plans and waking up with the intention to make them happen is one thing you should be proud of. Having circumstances turn on you, though, is something you cannot even complain about, but it's deeply upsetting nonetheless. Fate doesn't exist. Bad or good luck is a mere psychological escape goat people in general, myself included, often praise or blame according to their particular circumstance. Yet, sometimes it feels the world is occupied conspiring against you, or so your frustration wants you to believe. This is nonsense, of course... but it feels like. Funny to think, I'm always outta luck precisely because I don't believe it, but today the metaphor stuck.

    I woke up today ready to plow through the tasks I schedule myself. Yet, my notebook didn't. Turning it on, I could see the screen was lit, but no image would come out of it. Great. And half of my stuff wasn't synced with Google Drive. I could borrow my mother's computer, but it would serve me nothing If I can't access my stuff inside my own. Unable to do anything useful towards my goals, I spend the entire morning configuring mom's notebook, because... moms and computers. In the afternoon I would get the chance to go looking for an HDMI-VGA converter, so I can maybe plug my own notebook to an old monitor that I have laying around here and finish the syncing, so I could work on mom's computer and send mine back to the manufacturer on the warranty. And so I went.

    Found it, and grabbed a mouse because mine was already falling me. Did some errands to mom, too, because it was all on the same vicinity. On the way back home it was already hush our. Lots of cars, lots of drivers, most of them hungry, tired, annoyed, a good part not very polite or even rational. After making through maybe 20 meters in 20 minutes, I decided to take the only chance I had to try another route. I had to change lanes to the left, twice, and go over a viaduct that looked mostly clean instead of bellow it as I was headed. But no one would give me passage, turn signal and hand waiving seeming invisible. Then, an opening at my left quickly formed as the driver that should be filling that space lagged behind, and I decided to take the chance. Quick turn, all wheel to the left... and I hit the back left corner of the front car with the right front corner of mine. GODDAMMIT! Thankfully I only barely tapped the acceleration pedal, so it ended up being a light hit, but enough to damage the painting on both bumpers.

    I went out to see the extension of the damage, the other driver went too. He was upset, with reason, but probably thought it was too little to be bothered with, or perhaps he was too tired to even care. I don't know. He just got inside his car again and drove into the distance... 2 meters forward, as the traffic allowed. I also got back into mine, exhaustion, upset and stress piling up, and waited until I finally found a way left through the other cars.

    Back home, the consolation I can find is that, among all of the frustration, anger and upset I went through during the day, not once I felt driven to game. Actually, the only time I thought about it was when I decided I should come to GQ and write my daily entry. If that's the only thing good coming out of this day, I'm taking it. But I'm going to dine, shower and sleep, to end it as quickly as possible. No point in prolonging it for another couple hours. Tomorrow I shall make up for the time I lost today.

    Another sidestep, but still looking onwards.

    • Like 2
  7. The "meh" day

    Nothing significant accomplished today. Forex kept occupying my time and I come to the conclusion I should quite it because it's turning into another addiction. I may revisit it when I have a better structured routine and more control over my time and myself, but for now I have to let it go, or I risk not achieving the most immediate thing I should focus at, my thesis. I feel partially bad at this, because I really like looking at charts and browsing for technical tools and thinking about strategy, but it's for the best.

    I'll try to micromanage my day tomorrow. I'll set up a detailed agenda with time for everything and a list of the most pressing stuff I need to do. I don't really like this approach, but I fear it has to do with my very poor conscientiousness, which compromises my working ethic, so I have to try a different approach, even if it hurts.

    Kind of a sidestep today, but onwards we look!

  8. 5 hours ago, Ikar said:

    I've been back on online dating for a few days, I'm rather torn though. I treat myself WAY better than before. I also feel like part of the art is putting yourself on the line. It'd be awesome to be intimately connected to a girl again. Preferably even THE girl. There are apparently great pitfalls for a guy in early 20s like me in online dating, as the odds are most likely stacked against me.

    From the not all that tall height of my middle 30's, if I could tell my younger self something about romantic life, it would be to have a clear view of what kind of relationship you want, a clear view of what kind of person you want to spend your time with, to communicate your expectations and desires in a clear and pondered manner to anyone you have a relationship with, and to not settle for less than the bare minimum, the non-negotiable minimum standard you think someone should meet in order to have an harmonious coexistence with you, while still remembering that people make mistakes and have feelings and that there will be friction, but that it should never, ever be an excuse to drop the mutual respect any healthy relationship is made of. Breaking this all up:

    Long term relationship? Short term? Hook up? One night stand? Whatever you choose, it's your choice, not someone else's. Of course, any potential date should also be made aware of your intentions, so that they can have as much of a good time as you are planning to. If they don't agree with your plan, you should decide if it's worth to negotiate your terms, but my experience is that it's only worth to make concessions if the other person is willing to make concessions back, no matter how pretty or fun they are. Relationships are about mutual commitment, and it's unhealthy to commit to someone not willing to commit back.

    Know what characteristics you think are the most important on a potential date. You might prefer polite, quite, tempered girls, or wild, extroverted, flamboyant ones. It doesn't matter, just be sure to know what characteristics you are most attracted to, and the ones you don't like at all. Don't go making huge must have or mustn't  have lists, that's not the point. But give it a deep thought, know your deal breakers at the very least. For instance, when I was on Tinder looking for a potential date, I knew I wouldn't get along party girls, because I don't like to party, so that was a deal breaker, no matter how pretty or witty she would be. I also knew I love people with good humour and that smile easily, so having lots of smiling pictures or a funny profile description was a huge thing for me. Know your standards and stick with it.

    Show yourself for what you are. You don't want to start pretending, you'll quickly become a prisoner of the persona you built. Moreover, you want to attract women that are interest in the type of guy you are. Do not get fooled by people that say women only like money, or that they are all overly concerned with appearances, this is false. Some women might, just like some men, too, might fall into those categories, but most don't, most people are looking for genuine and meaningful interactions. This doesn't mean you shouldn't mind how you come out, it only means you should not try to pretend. However, more than worrying about the things you say, mind the way you say it. There is more than one way to say the same thing to different effects. Apart of that, if you worry about your pictures and your appearance, there's an excellent website about it called Photofeeler, where you can get anonymous feedback on your pics. I used it and it helped me.

    Finally, be sure to take your time and see if you are comfortable around the other person, and to check if it's mutual. Ideally, that person will get to know you up close, she'll know your virtues as much as your flaws, and you need to be willing to share your weaknesses and your fears with her. That is the essence of intimacy, to be carefully transparent and honest. Not fully and totally, because only young children and mad people are fully honest in their words, but almost totally.

    In short, I think three are the cornerstone of a healthy relationship: commitment, sincerity and respect. Find someone with whom you feel comfortable talking about those three things and you are good to go. And don't be afraid to commit mistakes. For most people it is rare to find the right partner before quite a few attempts. Besides, we only live once. You gotta go there and try, and try again if necessary.

    Sorry for the long boring text, I hope it may help you a little, and good luck!

    • Like 2
  9. An unremarkable day

    Starting today I'll give journal entries a short title that I think captures the essence of the day it represents. It serves both as an exercise on concision and minimalism, and as an introduction to what I write, since my entries reflect my preference for a narrative, short story style rather than a journalistic one and, as such, are fitting to be preceded by a title that encapsulates them. I'm still reluctant to date the entries, though. Dunno why, but I kinda rather not. The system will end up dating them, anyway.

    About the day, it was like some days before it, and probably like some future days will be. Uneventful. Woke up, worked on my thesis, precisely on curating journalistic texts I have been collecting for a while about stuff related to what I'm going to talk about, so that I can find them a little bit easier. There's still stuff to do on that front, I need to organize them better, perhaps by subcategories, and also curate the YT talks, lectures and lessons I have also collected. Bureaucratic work, but I feel it will make my life easier down the road. I also wrote a few lines on my thesis' project. Better than nothing, but I really must write more each day.

    Today I also spent a lot of time looking on Forex stuff, and the progress I felt I had made at it suddenly vanished. Good thing it's paper money, or I would be bankrupt. This makes me question even harder if I should pursue this, if it's worth to spend that much time on it. I have even skipped French lessons and other reading I should be doing.

    @taichi thank you for your support, mate! Indeed, it is emancipatory to be able to see the addiction for what it is. One cannot free oneself of chains one cannot see.

    Still going onwards we are!

  10. 1 hour ago, taichi said:

    I'm feeling really good today. This is the best I've felt in the morning for a long while.

    Looking back at this post, I see what I need to be careful about.

    1. The right amount of exercise really makes me feel great. Only the right amount is very very little!

    2. Maybe ejaculate once a week and keep it at that. I masturbated on Monday but still feeling full of energy today.

    3. Being open to family has really helped. Even if they are acting impatient, explain my situation patiently. And then they may or may not listen, it doesn't really matter.

    4. I have a modest action plan for my recovery, so that's rid me of any guilt. I am changing what I can change.

    5. Having low confidence isn't bad in itself. Maintaining the "Beginners' Mind" in all situations is the key to bringing happiness to people & myself.

    6. Having an argument with that person somehow attracted a new potential friend to me. The world is clearly not full of douche-bags, so I should keep speaking my mind.

    Having a clear view of things is the first step into acting upon them! Few personal views of mine about them, hope they help in some way.

    1. You can slowly build up resistance and increase your workout sessions. Take note of the exercise you do and how you feel about it, so that you know when to increase rhythm and when to back it down a bit.

    2. Once in a while isn't a problem. The problem is to rely on it to get the dopamine you would be craving for. But biology cannot be denied, humans have sexual urges now and then, and it makes no good to repress it forever.

    3. Can't say much here, I have a lot of difficulties on this one. I can open myself to friends, girlfriend, but to family I fell... weird about.

    4. It's not helpful to go full energy, head on, into hard and wild changes, only to find later on that you took a step too big  for you and now the floor is faltering under your feet. Take it slow and steady, and gradually adapting your plans as you need. At least that was the lesson of an old professor of mine, and I'm glad I never forgot, because it has been helping me a lot recently.

    5. I'm a skeptic, and a Socrates fan. I think we all should have low confidence on our knowledge, but high confidence on our ability to learn. And it doesn't matter how many repetitions it takes for you to learn, as long as at the end of each you can be reasonably sure it added something new to you. About him who knows the most, however, that knowledge is only any good as the good things it brings him. Else, it makes of him a walking bookcase, which has all the knowledge but little use for it.

    6. Yes, you should. If idiots are free to talk what they please, why wouldn't amazing people also be?

    Keep rocking.

    • Like 1
  11. Whoopsidaisies. Yesterday night I was really tired, and when I remembered to actually come write my daily entry I was already at bed, trying to sleep. It was such a long and unproductive day, one of those you feel you are overburdened but nothing you do adds up to what you actually want to achieve. But, as a good wannabe lawyer, I'm going to hold on to the technicality that my last post was already made yesterday, since I was posting everyday after midnight, to say that I didn't break my streak. For now on, however, I'm going to post on the correct day.

    Like I was saying, yesterday was not a very good day, in that I did very little towards my goals. Today, however, was a much better one. I woke up well rested, had very good insights and was able to put them to paper instead of letting them get lost amidst my very fast moving train of thought. The afternoon was slow, as it usually is with me. I have to do something to concentrate better and ramp up my productivity after lunch.

    Good thing is that I had no cravings whatsoever. Bad thing is that I spent too much time looking into Forex trading simulation apps and texts. At some point in my life I had the intention to learn the stuff, but I got frustrated because no matter how much I read about it, for the life of me I couldn't learn to do it right. Today it seems it all finally started to sink in, but I am really, REALLY afraid to develop a toxic habit out of it and make it replace gaming, because it triggers some very close mechanisms to it. If I'm going to give it another try, I better define a very strict schedule for it. I don't want to fool myself into thinking I'm doing something useful with my time while I'm really not.

    I need to drink more water.

    Onwards we go!

    • Like 1
  12. 23 hours ago, NannerZ said:

    I am no longer the type of person who makes excuses, I get things done

    Every time I think about letting something I should be doing now to later I tell myself that. We are now responsible for ourselves, we now get the stuff done, this is what we are from now on.

    Watch out for boredom. At least for me, it used to be my worst drive to gaming. Have a back up plan for it, something you can do that is harmless and helps you deal with it. Maybe watch some TED talk you have been willing to for quite some time, maybe read some novel you always wanted to... it'll serve as a reward for the good work you have been doing. Treat yourself well, you deserve it. Cheers and keep rocking.

    • Like 1
  13. So far so good. On more day out of gaming, and today not even a sign of cravings. Plus, I did some good progress organizing some of my stuff. My girlfriend came to spend the afternoon studying with me and she has an amazing work ethic, I was lucky I could sit beside her and concentrate on my stuff today. I have to be sure to let her know some day how much she inspires me.

    Still, small activities like taking some French lessons on Duolingo, or taking economy classes online (which is something of a "serious hobby" of sorts for me) end up slipping by because of circumstantial stuff. I have to improve my time management skills ASAP.

    @NannerZ and @Ikar, thank you very much for your support and your tips! Really appreciate it!

    Onwards! Tomorrow has always something reserved for us!

  14. Fight for yourself before you may fight for anything else. I know, this sentence might come out as an egotistical statement, but it is not. At least not in the context of of a person managing a serious addiction that threatens to ruin her life, because here the person isn't fighting against other people for some selfish goal, she is fighting against herself all along. And for a noble goal. That person is fighting to turn her worst enemy, herself, into her best friend. Know thyself. Become what thou art.

    Today I decided to start this journal. I was resisting this because I was afraid I would lose interest in it and stop writing, but that assumes the worst outcome possible to this new journey of mine: that I'm going to fail, that I'm going to relapse. That is because the only reason for me to lose interest in something that actively benefits myself right now would be if I went back to compulsive gaming, which had the power to make me lose interest on about everything, from hobbies, to passions, to people. And which I am not going to, anymore.

    I was also resisting because I was assuming I would break the commitment to myself that a journal takes, that I would not write everyday, that I wouldn't be strong enough for that. After all, what good is a journal that is not worked on every day? Journal, the word, comes from the Proto-Indo-European root dyeu (to shine), through the Latin dies (day), and the French jour. Italian for it is giornale. Portuguese uses diário, closer to diary, which comes directly from the Latin root. A journal with no daily entries is a contradiction, and I strive for consistency. Thus, daily entries, no matter how puny and ridiculous they might be, must ensue.

    It has been 21 days since I started my first 90 days detox try. Before that, I have tried several times, without success, to moderate my gaming time, to game responsibly, and deep down I still wish I can some say manage to do it. But now, after finding Game Quitters community and Cam's work on the subject, I know I can't simply trust my rational brain to manage it. Know yourself. I don't trust myself with games, I'll not trust myself to game again for a long time, certainly not before I achieve my most immediate goals, which aren't trivial. I must conclude my graduation thesis, that has been delayed for about a decade because of my addiction, I must prepare myself for the Bar exam that will follow, even though it has been years since I seriously looked into a law book, and I must get myself to at the very least an intermediate level in French, from being an absolute beginner. If I still want to try gaming responsibly after all of that have been taken care of, then I'll give it a try. If not... Become that what you are. But for that, you must forget what isn't you anymore.

  15. James said it all. Keep your motivation and your intent in mind. Remind yourself of it whenever you feel that anxiety and compulsion cravings bring. Maybe write it down somewhere and look at it sometimes. Add or subtract things as you feel necessary, but always keep them with you. They are the reason you are sacrificing yourself, they are the goals you have been delaying with gaming, so, in order to keep gaming away, remind of your reasons why.

    Good luck! And best wishes to your and your significant other!

  16. Addiction is this: being attached to something as if it were to you like oxygen. Games aren't oxygen. We don't need it. Everything positive that it can provide to a healthy and responsible player, we have to take from other sources, because we addicts simply can't handle playing, just like an alcoholic can't handle a single drink without a serious risk of binging. Thankfully, game addiction doesn't pose the same level of serious health hazards to the individual as alcohol, cocaine or tobacco do, but it still can wreck the person's life. I know that first hand.

    You are right. You don't have to give in to the greed of the developer, you don't have to put up with toxic people and the community they go in just to extract their pleasure from other people's suffering, you don't have to waste your health and your time with something that isn't bringing you anything positive in return. You did well in leaving all of that behind.

    Stay strong and keep focused on your intent.

  17. It is hard to try and introduce yourself while you want to avoid sharing personal information. The two things likely seem oxymoronic, but I think they are not, so I'll make a genuine effort at it.

    Well, I would likely not be here if I wasn't connected to game addiction to some extent, so y'all know that already. In fact, I've been personally struggling with it since late childhood, and I'm well into my 30's. I come from a non-English speaking country where mental healthcare is stigmatizing and not easy to get, and awareness of most but the more common mental health disorders is practically non-existing. So, I'm self-diagnosed (well, technically, I was diagnosed by a family member, but I resisted that diagnostic for many years, until it finally caught up to me), but the symptoms and the way it affects my life makes for a textbook case of addiction. So, nowadays, and in possession of the information that I now have thanks to the effort of people like @Cam Adair in spreading awareness of the problem, I don't doubt that diagnostic not even for a split-second.

    For starters, I'm about 10 years late in delivering my graduation thesis. How about that? My academic life and my professional opportunities were absolutely wrecked by my addiction and I even count myself as lucky, because my family relations weren't totally destroyed and because my social life managed to be just about OK despite of it. My covering efforts, endless and fatiguing excuses and lies made me pass as a secluded, somewhat weird and messy, but affable guy, which are things about as true as the fact that I'm an addicted to games, but it's also an useful image that helps to shrug away any major inquiry. Well, I don't want that life for me, anymore. I'm exhausted of it. I want to have a normal life, I want to not need to lie and hide my shame away. I'm ready to accept the consequences of my choices, clouded and irrational as they were. More importantly, I'm ready to make the sacrifices that I need to do in order to get my life back on track. Deep down, I wish I will be able to go back to games in a responsible and moderate manner some day, but If I have to let games go forever, I will. It is a compromise I must do, to detach and let games go, in order to avoid suffering not only for me, but for my family and my beloved ones, and I'll do it.

    I actually am seven days into my first detox routine. Seven days without any gaming whatsoever is the biggest period I can remember intently pulling out, and I'm proud of it. But it has being hard, specially today. Yesterday and the day before were quite stressful, but I remained firm in the intent of not playing, saying to myself that if I can manage to plow through such stress without coping it with gaming, I can do anything I ever want to. But actually today has been harder. Quite a calm, hot Sunday, and it's being way harder, because I have no plans for the day and I saw myself watching YT videos about WWII, which reminded me of games I love, which usually would drive me into gaming. Suddenly, I saw that, yes, coping with, anxiety, stress and other negative feelings is a huge factor into my drive for games, but so is idleness, maybe even more so.That's why I decided to subscribe myself to this forum, which I've been lurking on for the past couple weeks, and write this. To clear my head of those things and occupy my time a little so that I can avoid the pitfall of idleness and maybe even start to organize my ideas a little bit.

    I always have been an awful planner, I don't know how to organize myself and even when I manage to pull some plan for something, I drop it halfway through, so that is my next major quest: to learn how to make plans with the intent to stick with them all the way. I also have to deal with procrastination. Having devoted any and every time I've got to games, and even making time for it, taking it from other activities I should be doing, makes for extremely low pro-activity and initiative. Being aware of all of that is the key to tackle them, though, and I'm optimistic about my chances. I've been a smoker for more than 10 years and I quit it for 5 years as of now, I know first hand what cravings are and how they are triggered, I know what a withdraw syndrome is and how it feels. I hope this experience will help me dealing with quitting games. As a matter of fact, quitting games have been comparably more difficult so far. I don't expect it to get easier.

    One last bit. Besides the messages of Cam, which I think people here probably already follow closely, another message that deeply resonated within myself these days and is helping me to find motivation and intent is the one delivered by Simon Sinek in his 2010 TED talk about what he dubs "the golden circle" and how great leaders inspire action. In short, he says leaders mustn't start telling people what and how they do the things they do, but why. In our case, we, our rational minds, must lead ourselves out of our addiction and into a healthy and fulfilling life, whatever this means to each one of ourselves individually. So, we all know what we need to do: we need to stop playing games compulsively or even stop playing games at all. "To stop to play" is what we do, and how we do it is by being aware of a behavior pattern that constitute itself in an addiction, and to be aware of the cues and triggers and of our environment so that we avoid relapse. That's all fine, we all understand that. But why? Why to stop this addiction pattern? Why are we subjecting ourselves to that not insignificant exercise in will power and to the sacrifices we know we need to do in order to achieve that goal? It seems to me that, to be successful in this endeavor, I must start by telling myself why I'll do it, but I only have vague ideas as of now. I know I want to live a better life in my own terms, I know I want to achieve certain objectives that have being hampered by the addiction in games I have, but those are all results. They don't describe my purpose, my cause, they don't describe why do I get out of my bed in the morning nor why should anyone care about it. But I remember telling someone, years ago, that, whatever I took upon myself to do, my goal was to leave the things around me better than that what I found. Yes, I'm aware that this is the most generic purpose one could have, but it is exactly the one guideline that fits every single situation and every single place and time. So, that's what I'm leaving your with, now. I will improve on it for myself, in fact I'm going to work on it right now, so that my intent isn't left empty and I would be risking a relapse, and so that my plans aren't left lacking and risking me abandoning them. And that is the one advice I leave you with, if I may. Find your why. Find the purpose that move and inspire you to leave the things around you better than what you found.

    Thank you for reading it all.

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