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That was such a wonderful time for us. Three years. Eight hundred fifty four days exactly. Subject remained cooperative for such a long time. What have we do? What happened? What happened?! Why is he waking up? Days 10 to 864: FAILURE Day 0: Dear diary. I won’t even call it day 1. I’m writing this after playing for 15 hours. I’m going to sleep now, just posting this to have sth to come back to. Till tomorrow.

Welcome back! Im back too after a very long break, I know how you feel. Stay stronger this time!

We realized our plan. We located a girl that the subject showed affection towards and made her send some error message to the subject, asking for help. Subject hesitated but helped and solved the problem successfully. Afterwards the subject told her that games were bad. She told the subject he should get fucking real. That hit him hard, but bounced off his armor... We must find another way... Day 9: SUCCESS It's actually so good to feel the time flowing once more. It's been only 9 days, but it already feels like months. Today was a good day overall. I woke up (second alarm clock worked.... luckily) and I had an appointment at the Uni. I got surprised by my mother - she stayed home because she feels sick now (I'm feeling better at least... :)). Then I went to the appointment and luckily arrived 4 mins before the time due. Too bad that I'll have to arrange another appointment to finish this task... I hate going to the Uni now, since it started snowing again and there is no door mat there so the floor gets so messy. I hate the cold as well. Anyway, I went shopping on my way back home. Then, together with my mom, we began cooking lunch: we put various vegetables and fish into an ovenproof glass container and put it into the oven at 200C. After 1 hour I opened the oven and checked the food, it was not yet ready so I put it back inside. Shortly after the container shattered... I called my mum and we got rid of the glass... mostly. So not only did we have fishbones but glass "bones" also. The only glass bone we found during eating was in my plate and I, unfortunately, bit onto it. It was so small that part of it got stuck in my tongue but I managed to get it out later. Then I watched series with my sister, even though it wasn't evening yet, but she was going to leave for a party. Then I studied for another exam upcoming on Wednesday. Good night.

Well now, since you have more free time because of not playing, you won't drop out, if you use this time to learn the required stuff ?

@Lea Oh my God! I hope you get better soon!

Congratulations, what a productive day! The juices formation is magnificent! I hope nobody ruined it... Who is Eve?

Subject broke free again. We must prepare another ambush, involve more of his friends. Day 8: SUCCESS Today was similar to yesterday in the sense that I woke up and didn't have any purpose. This time, however, I mindfully decided to do manual labor (tidy up the apartment) instead of launching games. Then I watched a volleyball match, ate breakfast and even, impressively, performed some basic physical exercises. I'm feeling like a rusty robot, everything hurts when I move. Apart from that, I'm feeling better - the medicine helps a lot. I stuck to the evening ritual, time to develop a morning one.

@Gaming Zombie hey man! good you prepared for the exam! i'm afraid any sort of addiction is incurable. but manageable with certain methods and a huge dose of will power, right I feel like you're trying to rush everything too much. You will not fix your entire life in 90 days. You can try to fix certain things (like the gf situation) but do not expect to succeed at everything. Focus on the main goal: staying sober from games. Fixing everything else is secondary, so if it doesn't succeed, don't let it get on you!

hi @Doug! I've had similar thoughts during server maintenance ? You have our support

Hello Dmitry! You're doing pretty good in terms of expressing your thoughts in English! Are you planning to re-enter the university? as Gaming Zombie said, it's time to ditch the good ol'hobbies and pick up some brand new ones!

hi! I admire how you still succeeded despite not being able to come up with a nickname ? also your post is a showcase of perfect English warning: consistency > perfection

Hiding was a wonderful idea. Subject fell pray to our sneak attack. The subject deleted browsing history but we managed to setup a trap with session restoring. The subject logged on another computer and boom 20tabs of gaming content flooded him. Foolish was he not to close them immediately. The subject got so drawn in that he finished the main quest of the game. Then he shut down the computer. Partial victory we'd say. We ambushed the subject, he got beaten down, but he stood up and ran away fast enough, before we were able to drag him back into our loving arms of addiction. Day 7: Not a Success, but not a total failure either This damned alarm clock is killing me, mentally. I opened my eyes and, terrified by the sunlight, checked the hour. It was 8:30 and I was supposed to be at the University at 8:00. I felt so defeated. I went back to sleep. I woke up again way before the planned time slots. I went to the kitchen and saw the mess my family left after breakfast. In the fridge there were no raw products for me to cook. I felt depressed because of the mess and the fact that I felt sick (stuffy nose, sore throat, head ache, high temperature). I took medicine for breakfast and done my default "I'm feeling sick" activity - I turned on the PC. The medicine helped, the PC did not. Web browser sprang at me with tens of tabs I opened the last time I used the PC (so before I decided quit gaming). I started closing them 1 by 1, thinking maybe there would be something interesting. But it just brought my mind on the tracks of gaming again. Having nothing else to do, I installed and launched a game and completed it in around 10 hours. Then I did the standard evening ritual of watching series with my sister and writing a post in my journal and I'm off to sleep. I'm not proud of myself but at the same time I feel complete. Leaving the game in the middle was really bugging me for the last couple of days. I could have reacted to that before, If I realized that earlier. Still I was able to regain control, which is a plus. I could have played the whole night.

that says it all

What freaks me out is I don't know what THEY did today. I'm having a lot of flashbacks from the past. Like way past, at the beginning of my gaming disaster. And also from the end of it. In my mind I see how I changed. Also how I progressed as a player. I started at the very bottom of the ladder and crawled my way up to the 0.000001% or so of the players. Despite getting so good at this, I never wanted to become pro, nor did I even want to play. It was meant to be a past time, and I haven't realised that I was addicted. The problem lied, paradoxically, in school. I was always among the best students of every school I went to. And I did so effortlessly. I did cheat a little bit, but mostly I just remembered everything that was said in class. The time I spend studying at home could be measured in minutes per week. Meanwhile I also became a much worse person. I even had one account permanently banned for offensive, vulgar language. But then the community evolved and got used to such behavior. The punishment became negligible. So most of the players took the offense for granted. I took it even further and spilled the rudeness on people in real life, including (if not mostly) my closest relatives and friends. What shocked me was that they thought of me so highly, they did not make any complaints to me. After all these years, how do I redefine myself when they expect me to behave in the same way? All the nice gestures I make are commented "are you feeling all right man?"... Day 6: SUCCESS! Sleeping time: 02:00-09:30 (7,5h) Today I had trouble with my alarm clock again. This time I heard it ring, but it was me who wasn't ready to get out of bed, because of staying up too long. I had to go though, to an appointment I made yesterday at the Uni. Luckily the time slot was open from 10-12, so I manged to get there at 11:30 and get everything done. Then I was drinking a coffee in the cafeteria, waiting for my classes at 13. The classes were ok, but I hate some of the fellow students. The lesson had the length of 1 hour and many people came late, disturbing everybody, including the teacher. One guy literally went in 50 mins late without any explanation, which the teacher made a joke about: "Nice that you came, now the best part is coming!". I didn't eat breakfast so I bought some food on the way. I cooked delicious ketchup (sounds weird but it was SO GOOD). Then a friend of my called inviting me for a pool game to celebrate passing the first exams. I agreed, even though I'm bad at this sport and he used to train it semi-professionally. Somehow I managed to beat him 3-1. He had new glasses, with very expensive thinned lens. I'm afraid his eyesight is worsened again, he couldn't hit any long shots. Then we grabbed some Chinese food and went home. I'm proud that I socialized somehow, even though it was not my initiative. Afterwards I spend the whole evening watching series with my sister. I was even nice to my parents, yay. I didn't do any of the goals from tomorrow, but it's okay since I replaced them with some unexpected events like the pool game. Goal for tomorrow: I'll have free time from 12 till 22, that's 10 hours. I need to plan that to avoid relapse. 1,5h - shopping and cooking 1h - dusting off the guitar 3h - watching series 2h - manage my notes & clean my room the remaining time - do some things from my do when bored list Fix the freaking alarm clock. I have an app which starts the alarm and only stops it after a qr code has been scanned, and I put the code in the kitchen.

@sweblade how are you doing today man?

hi Amir! welcome to the community ? for every hour I played I wish I could have studied... read some journals, write something in somebody's journal if you want start yours, somebody will write something we're all connected

im super good today! I dont have too much time but i have to write a short note in my journal ?

Well done! How do you measure steps? Why wake up so early?

Nice hobbies! You seem so passionate about them that's contageous! You inspired me to sharpen a knife ? (I live in a big city) You have a perfect environment to become who you dream to become, keep up the good work! I like that you took apart your bikes and reassembled them. Have you got any parts left over? Learn by doing! Don't hate winter so much man, I miss winter... A decade ago there were temperatures like you said in my country. Now it's just around 0 since the beginning of winter... It sucks! Mass of semi-melted snow and ice, sprinkled with sand and salt is everywhere...

time to create account in real life start writing a journal so we can get to know u better and help you more i also recommend you get rid of your mouse / keyboard or change them for some that you havent used before, it helped me what also helped me was changing my computer password to imnotplayinggamesanymoreimnotlosingmylife so everytime i log in i have to type it, every time i want to install anything i have to type it, it helps i hope you succeed best wishes

hello Morgan! the first Morgan that comes to my mind is Morgan Freeman fight the addiction i hope u can be a free man

The subject tries to find distractions, which stole a couple of hours from his sleep. Now the subject is more vulnerable. We shall start tempting the subject more. Day 5: SUCCESS! I stayed up too long chatting with people... My alarm clock was set at 7:00, so it should be still dark outside at this time of the year. To my suprise when I opened my eyes I saw bright daylight and my alarm "shut down after 10 minutes of ringing". Apparently that's what alarm clocks do... Not wake you up but then lie about having rung. Luckily it was 10 and the test I had at 12, so I managed not to be late. Unluckily I didn't have time to review my notes so I forgot one formula. The test didn't go too well but I need 0 points to pass so I'll manage. It was just important to be present. Then I came home and made lunch. Then I hanged out with my sister, then she left so I hanged out with my parents. Meanwhile I was reading a book. Then I planned all the appointments for the university. Then I watched some series and decided to write a post in my diary and go to bed. Then I opened online chat and woke up 3 hours later... Goal for tomorrow: Setup training routine. Dust off the guitar. Isn't it too much?

care to share what exactly? your thoughts? Stay strong man! 1 More day this time, at least!

how are you doing today? planning to start a journal? it's really helpfun ?

hi dany! together with games i removed my twitch, youtube and other peripheral accounts as well i'm scared having them up could cause a relapse easily