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Silverlining

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  1. Silverlining

    Every day is a new day

    Ugh. I'm supposed to be excited about this new opportunity at work, but I am not. I start to deal with the new manager, and I doubt that some of his trades are unethical. He admitted his mistake and said that it was nothing more than a model error. I hope that he is telling the truth because my career will be largely depended on him. Everything else is fine. Except that I still need to fight with my migraines from time to time. I have found an online group for people who are taking the same exam with me this May. It's very inactive though. Maybe they are just too busy studying. I have also been chatting with a close friend a lot recently. We are not in the same city or time zone, so we can't get together. But it's still nice. BTW today is my Day 122.
  2. Silverlining

    Dear Diary...

    Take it easy. You are not a computer. As a human being, you are expected to take breaks. This is the way how the brain works. And your company and boss know that. They expect their employees to have ups and downs, it's a part of risk control. Also when you are stuck at a problem, it is advised by neuroscientists that you should shift your mind to something else, to meditate, or to exercise.
  3. Silverlining

    Ninety Days Worth the Pain

    Some company needs to manufacture this
  4. Silverlining

    Dear Diary...

    Like Sheldon Cooper? I thought those people are the laughing stocks in daily life.
  5. Silverlining

    Dear Diary...

    You did all those things within 8 hours? That's amazing! Could we see your cartoon when it's done?
  6. Silverlining

    JustTom's Journal 3

    I understand the anxiety. But the fact that you are posting here means that you want to get out of this mess. And you know the only way is quitting. Are you really willing to give up your degree, your career and your social life for gaming? I don't think so, because you are still trying to pass this exam. If you really don't want to quit, that's fine. That's your life. No one can make you "want" things. However, if you want to quit but can't, then that's something to work on.
  7. Silverlining

    JustTom's Journal 3

    I'm glad that you decide to come back here and to make baby steps. You have been there so you know pretty much everything about quitting. I don't know what to say except to wish you good luck.
  8. Silverlining

    Every day is a new day

    @fawn_xoxo @BooksandTrees Thank you guys! So helpful as always! I have some ideas now about making new friends but it will take time. I think it is easier to start with looking for study buddies who are taking the same exam with me, and then hobby clubs when I have more time. I'll keep you updated 😄
  9. Silverlining

    Every day is a new day

    Thanks 😃 The chapter was an easy one so I had expected to do more. I'm not even sure if it's the right thing to do. My gaming community consists mostly of women. Men play the game, too, but somehow they belong to a whole different society. And they talk about stats, battleground, etc. while in the women's community, we would talk about all kinds of stuff. Work, movies, food, dresses, makeups, men and babies. It was like a women's support group for me. But of course, they would also talk about the game, which is a subject that I should avoid. I don't know where to find such a group to replace them. I had groups of girl friends when I was in school, but we drift apart after graduation. I work in a small company in a male-dominated industry. I still have some very good friends, but they don't know each other. In my early twenties, I would try to introduce my friends to one another, but somehow it seems that they don't end up to be friends. So I stopped trying eventually. Actually I tried to join an online trying-to-conceive community a few days ago, but it was too depressive for me. So I ran away.
  10. Silverlining

    Every day is a new day

    I read 30 pages of my text book tonight and did some drawing. Hopefully I will do better tomorrow.
  11. Silverlining

    Every day is a new day

    Day #108: 2/5/2019 Tuesday It's been a while. The past week hasn't been easy for me. We live in Chicago and the polar vortex hit us hard. And I don't like the cold. I missed my period and went to see an ob and it turned out that I was not pregnant -- which is normal but somehow I have been feeling depressed about it. We moved to this new apt and my husband depended on me to organize everything. He helped, of course, but it felt like I was a project manager and he was working for me, so I had to give him instructions constantly. Very tiring. We also hosted a party to invite friends over to our new apt. It was fun and a lot of work. The new project at work is about to get started, and it turns out that I have to pass a test to join the team. I took the test and I don't know the result yet. If anything goes wrong, I will lose this opportunity and I should be prepared for it emotionally. And I missed my friends from the game that I played. I talked with them to learn about how their lives were going. I care about them. When I initiate the communication, I can feel that they like me and they miss me. We talk about our lives, instead of the game, like real friends. It seems that I can't delete them from my life. One of my gaming friends quit. She has been troubled by procrastination. And I introduced Pomodoro technique to her. That's the bright side. On the other hand, I do feel a strong urge to return to the game community. Besides talking with my gaming friends, I also spent a few hours on gaming forums. I don't real want to play that game per se, but I miss the feeling to be among a group of people who know me and like me. And I don't know what to do about it. Another problem is that I haven't studied for my exam. Besides all the chores and talking with my old friends, I also have spent quite some time watching TV shows and haven't read a page from my text book since last Tuesday. I have to postpone my plan for a whole week. This has to stop. I'll study this evening after work and will update later.
  12. Silverlining

    Dear Diary...

    I don't like the cold weather either. I wrote a little bit and meant to reply to you here but then realized that I shouldn't vent in your journal with all those negative emotions. I'll post it in my journal. I have always wanted to move to California. Or Florida.
  13. Silverlining

    Fawn_xoxo daily; thoughts, goals & evaluation

    I agree with you. You have been making major progresses. Take it slow, enjoy life. You don't need to take further steps until you feel comfortable to.
  14. Silverlining

    Every day is a new day

    Day #100: 1/28/2019 Monday We were moving for the past weekend. Now we live in a bigger apt with a better view. Yay! I had known that my weekend would be occupied, so I finished my weekly study materials on Friday. It felt so nice on Saturday morning, when I woke up and felt than I could focus on and enjoy moving without worrying about my deadline! That being said, the moving was very tiring. My feet are still sore. And we still have some unopened cases lying around. And emotional. It will take me some time to get used to this new place. And I had a stressful dream last night. In the dream, I joined a race where I felt that I would definitely win. But I failed. I cried very hard and ran away from the crowd. It felt so real that when I woke up, I could feel the weariness from crying. I don't know how to read it. I'm not in any competition in real life.
  15. Silverlining

    JustTom's 30-Day Challenge Journal

    It's indeed a win! I'm sure you know all these but I'm gonna say them anyway. The first few days can be hard, but you have done this before so it should be easier this time. Check in every day or multiple times a day. Make a plan. Avoid cramming before exams. Use Pomodoro. Don't push yourself too hard. Don't blame yourself for relapsing -- you were under a lot of stress at the end of the last semester. It was totally understandable.
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