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NEW PODCAST: Why Twitch Is Destroying Your Mindset and Keeping You from Success


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About DRCC

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  1. I think I understand what you mean about we have a choice to make about controlling our emotions, and this includes the pain we feel. I know I personally easily play the victim and let my circumstances define me and my emotions even when they are not healthy or what I truly want for myself long term. I just don't quite think that "All pain is caused by yourself alone" is accurate and defines what you are trying to say. Logically, this also would mean that "No pain is caused by anything but yourself". As I think we can quickly see, this is not true. Physical pain is easily caused by things other than yourself (car accident, abuse, etc.) Perhaps as you mentioned in your first post you are meaning "All psychological pain is caused by yourself alone", which also would mean "No psychological pain is caused by anything but yourself". Again, I'm not sure that this is true either. For example, if you had a close friend pass away, the psychological pain is not caused by yourself, but rather than the situation you would find yourself in. While it is true we have the responsibility to take control of our emotions, pain is sometimes a normal part of life. To be clear, I am not arguing the opposite that "Pain is all caused by external circumstances", this also would not be true because there are many times we cause our own harm (consequences of our imperfect actions). Perhaps somewhere in the middle, "Some pain is caused by yourself", may be more realistic. Perhaps it is something else like "You can control your emotions and pain" that is more to the point. I know it may feel like I'm picking out details, but I think the use of absolutes (always, never, all, none, etc.) can be very dangerous in our thinking. I know for myself, if I were to truly believe that "All pain is caused by myself alone", this would easily lead to other absolute statements like "It's all my fault I feel like this", "I should be able to avoid all pain", or "If I can't control my pain now, I never will", which are not necessarily true or helpful. I guess what I'm trying to say is that while powerful and convincing, absolute statements are often exaggerated truths and should be used with extreme caution, especially with complex things like our brains, emotions, addiction, or even politics. I even see it in how media portrays things. "All of group X are terrorists", "All of X political party are idiots", "All of X human race is X stereotype" are all examples we easily cling to. The sad thing is that these ideas are so common in our thoughts whether we are aware of them or not. I am definitely guilty of "all or nothing thinking" quite often and have to make a hard effort to correct it. On another direction, I love what you said about "mental exercise" and that this is not something most of us are taught. Just like going to the gym can increases our physical health, we can increase our mental strength by doing exercises as well, whether it's meditation, prayer, mindfulness, writing a journal, etc.
  2. Hey @Cindpline, Hang in there man. If you're debating depression therapy, I found this post very helpful in understanding how our brains process motivation, the link to gaming, and what might help. https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/6384-dopamine/
  3. I completely agree with you that pain is neither good nor bad. I read a book once about pain and the author studied Leprosy patients that had lost the ability to feel pain. Interestingly, without pain they did not live a carefree life, but rather ended up having infections and other small health issues that continued to get worse because they did not have the motivation of pain to improve the problem. I found it important to understand that even though pain can be unpleasant and uncomfortable, it can also have positive effects. The motivation to avoid pain, whether it is physical or psychological is a large part of why we are motivated to do or not do many things. In some ways, I have made the decision to stop playing games because I would like to avoid the long term psychological pain of feeling unproductive, unhealthy, lonely, and guilty. Sometimes avoiding short term pain (by playing games) we are causing more long term pain for ourselves. By becoming aware of the long term benefits and risks, we can empower ourselves to change our habits for the better.
  4. Wow, this is a great thread! @Some Yahoo, thanks for the insight into the chemicals in our brains and how they effect us. And thanks to all for sharing. For me it is hard to tell whether depression is caused by addiction, or the other way around. Likely they feed off of each other. I'm glad to find a group that doesn't stigmatize mental illness or medication as a possible solution.
  5. I'm thinking that this would be a good idea for me to track exercise as well. @info-gatherer, did you pick an app to use and how is it working? Or did you decide on good old paper?
  6. For me, I often procrastinate on going to bed because there's something that's stressing me out or I don't want to deal with what's happening tomorrow. My thoughts seem to just go on and on. Sometimes it's hard to pick out what the real issue is in the moment. Taking a few minutes at the beginning of the evening to to sit down and just journal or write down whatever's in my head often helps me process the endless thoughts that may come before bed. Another thing that may help is to have a routine before bed. Sounds like you may have tried some of this, but if not, hope that helps!
  7. Thank you for your replies, @Peluconus and @Phoenixking. This makes sense and helps a lot.
  8. Wow, this is a great question and one I've struggled with a lot as well. I think I'm like Cam and any gaming would lead to it spiraling out of control. Have any of you been able to get over a video game addiction and then play responsibly for a reasonable length of time? @Peluconus, two months seems like a long time to play responsibly. I don't think I will ever be able to do that. (and don't plan to try)
  9. Hey Josh, I know how that feels, "Where did the summer go?!" is exactly what I was thinking as I decided to quit games a week ago. It is hard giving up what's easy and comfortable! If it was easy, we wouldn't need help like this. It never goes away completely, but it does get easier. One thing Cam taught me in the Respawn program is we need all four types of activities to fill the voids games leave: Active, Resting, Social, and Skills. In my opinion it looks like you have a good set of activities you enjoy, but may need to find some social activities as well. Just a suggestion. If you're anything like me, these are the most challenging to start, as there is a risk whenever meeting new people, but I've found there is great rewards that go along with the risk! Derek
  10. In my experience there are therapists that understand and work for me, and others that just don't. The therapist I have now specializes in addiction issues and understands and helps me think through my addiction and offers suggestions, but I had a couple therapists before this which just didn't understand me and what I needed. My suggestion is that it is best to define before you go what you are expecting the therapist to do or help you learn. Any therapist has a better chance of helping if you know what you are expecting them to do. When I first went I was clear and honest about what I was struggling with (have tried to quit games by shear willpower, but was struggling to do so) and was looking for practical solutions to help me accomplish this goal. I think it's easy for many therapists to get lost "studying you" instead of "helping you". Don't be afraid to try different therapists/counselors/psycharatrists/psychologists (I'm not exactly sure the differences??). In my experience they are not all the same. Find something or someone that works for you!
  11. Hi Game Quitters! I'm Derek and I've been trying to play less or quit games for about two years now. I've read the Respawn package from Cam and am trying my best to quit games for good. I found the Respawn information really helped to understand why I play games and some helpful strategies for quitting, including joining a community to keep me accountable, which is why I'm here! Looking forward to growing and getting better through being part of the forum! Derek
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