BooksandTrees

It's an interesting quote. I used to think the same thing, but when I began spending time with people in real life and acting like I did online, but in public, I really thrived. As you can tell I was not one of the cancerous gamers, but more of a kind leader who worked hard in game. Now I just do that in real life.

Thanks man. I appreciate the support. I'm determined this time and think I have a lot to look forward to in the upcoming future. I always thought that first week was hardest.

Today's been better for me. I'm starting to heal a bit. I've noticed and mentioned previously how my mind was craving video games or stimulus during every day situations because I had been playing video games passive aggressively. I'm starting to naturally tire out around 10 PM now instead of 2 or 4 AM. This is much better for me obviously. My thoughts are starting to come back and my fogginess is disappearing. I'm 2 days free of gaming. For me, the fogginess and anxiety is always the toughest part of being a gamer. My short term memory is trash and I'm constantly under anxiety. I'm always worrying about something instead of relaxing and being confident in my abilities. I feel my natural drive to pursue hobbies slowly returning. I feel terrible because I started a podcast and I haven't produced one in a couple weeks. I was so depressed and addicted to games during that stretch that I didn't even want to consider producing content. I worry that I lost people, but it is ok. I'm going to come back strong when I am ready. For now, I'm really looking forward to doing physical activities. One of these mornings I'll go to the gym and do my routines. Ideally, I'd like to wake up at 6 AM and work out for an hour, come home and shower, eat breakfast, work from 8 to 4:30, do yoga til 5:30 or 6, eat dinner, work on a hobby or relax/both, read for 30 mins to an hour and then sleep. I will work on accomplishing this. I'd do it cold turkey, but I just wanted to decelerate my sleep schedule instead of rapidly changing it. I had been going to bed at 2 AM or 5 AM at times over the weekends. I think it made more sense to shave 1-2 hours off each night. Last night I fell asleep around 11:30 which is fine. I really value sleep and think that 8 hours is important. I've taken steps to spend more time with friends. I have a group from work who is going to a hockey game with me next week. I'm looking forward to that so much. I really love spending time with them and hockey is my favorite thing in the world. I also arranged a dinner with my friend and his fiance (also my friend before the met), and have yoga scheduled for Wednesday and Friday. I'll be recording my podcast this Thursday and tomorrow night. I also am going to try to attend my first meetup group this weekend for a morning hike somewhere. A funny video I watched today was this YouTube poop of Paula Deen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBBchnDdJYY

Thanks. I'm gonna check them out and see what's up. Think it will be fun regardless.

We should surround ourselves with the dreams we envision. I'm gonna attend comedy shows just to get a feel for the atmosphere and maybe it will warm me up to the idea of performing. Do you attend smaller shows at small night clubs at all?

Thanks for the update. I am guessing I am the friend? I'm glad to hear from you. I felt terrible when I missed your last progress update. Be careful with the job search. I would keep searching and try to maintain your position you currently have until that time unless you have a fall back option. Sounds like your knee is getting better? I've been doing a lot better. I kind of hit a low point with the heavy work load this summer and started playing games more, but I had a realization moment and just kept pushing forward. I love myself and want to do better. It's funny, sleeping the first night without playing video games was impossible because I kept wanting to satisfy these passive urges in my mind to stay mentally stimulated and game. Keep in touch.

Lol like many of the other members of this forum, we share the same issues it seems. I'm glad we are not alone. I have no issues socializing once I'm in the middle of it all and in fact crave that rush of attention from people in the event. I thrive as the center of attention. For some reason this doesn't give me the confidence I need to actually continue doing it on another stage or level. I don't get it. I had a weekend 2 weeks ago where I went hiking with friends, went out for food, went to a farmer's market, and then hung out with coworkers for a few hours after. It was the best day of the year for me. I really felt alive, wanted, and happy. It's something that I never feel with gaming. I just try to remember that time to give me motivation.

I work as an engineer 40-50 hours per week and my gaming habits never impact my work life. I just feel like a wonderful person at work who is accomplishing great things, working with my great coworkers, and having the ability to be confident, talkative, happy, and social there. It's just when I get home I kind of get depressed. I feel lonely and that any hobby I try is daunting and terrible. My life isn't terrible anymore, but I just find that I lack that drive to commit to being more social, meeting better friends who love life instead of just play video games and stuff. I'm impacted by my atmosphere I think.

I relapsed for the past month and a half. Most people on this website only make it a few days before going back, so be proud of yourself for making any improvements. Keep a daily journal and I'll try to find it. I keep one in there as well that I just started again.

10/28/2018 - Coming to Grips I have not been fair or honest to myself recently. I made efforts to find new hobbies in life, but once I felt the success of these hobbies, I quickly felt better and thought it was fine to play video games again. I started mixing video games and my hobbies together and finally started just playing video games until 4 AM again. I'm trying hard not to destroy myself for being a failure in this regard. But I have been playing games back and forth for the past 2 months now and it is just proof that if you start playing just a little bit you can spiral out of control and mess up your routines again. I made good progress with my podcast, but the issue here is that I edit the podcast for the length of its recording time. I would play runescape and do an AFK skill while editing my podcast to make the hours go by faster. This got me back into making incredible exp gains and then just do that entirely. I think solution to this problem might be to draw a picture for my cartoon I put aside or something else. I also started playing and watching TV at the same time. This just fuels my need to play the game passively. This is bad because it makes me feel like I should be gaming at all times instead of just focusing on my one hobby or task. I'll keep you guys updated my frequently. I was a little ashamed of what I've been doing and just avoided the website entirely because I felt bad. On a side note, does anyone use the discord to talk? Matt

Thanks for sharing your story. The others are right, a journal can be very rewarding.

Sent.

Might actually be tomorrow. I apologize. We have a submission tonight and I'm working late.

Sounds good. I'll email you tonight.

I can view them. Yeah, I work full time as an engineer and try to lead a busy life to avoid gaming sometimes. Do you want me to email my answers or post here?

It's really hard quitting games when you don't have something to fill the void. I found it's common for most gamers to binge tv shows and anime because they're so encompassing and provide that stimulus and dopamine rush we craved from gaming. I found that I had to focus on activities that could become a lifestyle. I started a podcast about hockey because I love hockey. It takes up 3 nights a week where I can't game at all. I also have something of a finished product each week. I also joined meetup, the app where you join groups for activities. Hiking and board games help me get my craving for adventure and talking with people out in a more realistic way and I've enjoyed it. My advice to you is be patient and don't beat yourself up for not finding a new way of life yet. Try hobbies and write yourself letters of encouragement like you would to a friend on Facebook or email if they were suffering and you wanted them to feel better. Good luck and keep planning ahead. Matt

I did the 90 day detox and found that it's going to take longer to get this done than I thought. I have a podcast now and have been making a big effort to spend time with friends on weekends and slow down during the week. Unfortunately, I've been paying video games 2 or 3 days per week, but if I have other things to do first I do those. They don't really control my life anymore, which is nice. I'm also not binge watching tv anymore and set it up to do 3 shows per week, 1 episode at a time like we used to do years ago before the age of streaming and binge watching.

I'll do it, but I'd like to see the questions first and remain anonymous if I choose to answer them if that is ok. I've been very busy with work.

Hi Jada, Let me think about this. I will get back to you this weekend. Matt

Fantastic summary. Also, thanks for sharing your story. Denial is tough because it's very difficult to stop gaming when there's nothing you can pour your mind into. Take some time to read our articles, stories, and watch songs of cams videos to slowly ease yourself into this realization. It will potentially help your direction.

Thanks for sharing your journey. I think we both have gone through a lot together and I appreciate your friendship and advice. Good luck with your journey.

This was a great week for me with the success of my podcast, getting back to the gym, going to special yoga classes, getting chores done for myself, and going for walks outdoors. I'm starting to feel less pressure to do well outside of work because I have attainable goals now. The most difficult part of all these steps is just creating a proper structure for myself because i know how much effort it is going to take. I've also taken steps to see and make new friends through board games and yoga. Eventually I'll make some through my podcast and going to do more activities, but I'm happy with myself so far.

I got my first episode of my podcast produced and onto youtube. This is so special for me. Over the past week I've worked hours each day just to get this posted and I enjoyed every second of it. This is the hobby I've been searching for. I kept searching for that special feeling after completing a project and never felt fulfilled or happy. Last night after posting my episode I just felt like I was king of the world. I told all my friends and they all listened. I can't wait to produce more content. I keep working on it and just really enjoy it.

I got my equipment today. I caught a cold, but I really can't wait to be putting work towards this podcast. Work has been difficult for me, but I am trying to relax and be in a good place mentally. I don't think I am, but I am trying. My posts aren't as long as they were before, but I just feel exhausted mentally and spiritually. I'm trying to be less dramatic and just enjoy life a bit.

I ordered my equipment for the podcast and created all my social media profiles. I just need to trademark it and begin recording and producing the show! I am so excited. I come home excited now and am eager to get things rolling. I also stayed strong this weekend and set alarms for myself to wake up at 8 Am instead of noon. The weekend feels longer to me. I feel more refreshed and happier. These are big steps for me as I just felt so unbalanced. I created a new gym routine as well and want to go 3 days per week. I currently plan to go on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.