Bugg

@BigOlBeartic Thanks, it really is a weight off my shoulders :) I made a little extra off it by trading it in for a store voucher: I traded it into a game store hence the ipad purchase using the voucher :P

It's 3pm and I just got in from town. I sold my ps4. As I was walking to town all I could think was ''I can't believe I'm doing this''. This morning was difficult, I had to unbox and plug my ps4 back in to remove all my details ready to sell, and setting it back up produced that same excitement you get when plugging in a console for the first time, but this time I didn't game. I did look over my library though and mentally I said goodbye to all those characters, and that was it. It took 2 hours to reformat, and then it was gone. As I walked into town I started listening to the Game Quitters podcast (after spending a good portion of the morning on the phone to apple tech support as I'd never set up on Itunes account before now and I couldn't get the bloody thing to work..). @Cam Adair I'm really enjoying it! I'm on episode 2 though and whilst the first episode worked fine the second keeps stopping every minute or so from 14 mins onward, it just stops and my iPod skips to episode 3. Don't know if that's a common problem; I've very little experience with podcasts atm. I'm trying to listen to it on my laptop now that I'm home and that seems to be working better. Also noticed how similar my gaming history is to @JP_Dub My first console was also a Mastersystem (when I was about 7); I loved Alex the kid, and sonic of course. Like Jason I also used to have LAN parties playing Halo with my mates; multiple TV's and consoles in one room with plenty of shouting and excitement, and those memories are also very dear to me. After that part of my life I also moved into solo RPG's which is where I was spending most of my time before starting this detox around a week ago. Skyrim was my cryptonite. It's refreshing to hear another gaming story with less focus on the social aspects, I found that very relatable and also weirdly comforting. In the shop selling my Playstation; I felt embarrassed. Not embarrassed to have developed an addiction, but embarrassed to be selling my console, embarrassed to be leaving the gaming community. Lol, it's silly I know. Anyway, I've made more than enough to buy the Ipad I've been wanting, so I'm gonna order that after this post. Whilst I waited for my console to be tested I made the most of the wonderfully sunny day we're having here on the south coast UK and I sat on the beach listening to the podcast with a decaf soy vanilla latte (Possibly the most pretentious coffee one can order, but needs must, haha!). Then on my way to collect my 'earnings' I stopped to get a homeless man some lunch. I share that not to seem like some super good person or anything, but I believe that when we talk about our good deeds, it can inspire others to do the same. His day is hopefully a little brighter thanks to a loaf of fancy bread, a bunch of bananas and some orange juice. (All things that hopefully bypass any allergies or poor/painful dental health, but contain lots of nutrients). Oh, I bought myself a mango too, possibly the highlight of my day :D I also did a workout this morning, an hour long workout - which is really good by my standards - so naturally I feel great! Still have my German and Guitar targets to meet for the day, but for now I am taking a well deserved mango and Netflix break, once I finish episode 2 of the podcast that is :D Update: Eating the mango was the highlight of my day :P

Good luck for this time around! Sure, you fell off the wagon again, but here you are giving it another shot and that's pretty cool! :) We can only try our best right? No one is perfect, but the fact you're not giving up shows how much you want this, and I believe if you want something enough you will make it happen.

Happy Birthday for yesterday! 80 days man, congratulations! :) Sorry to hear about the stress atm, is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Day 8. AM. The beginning of my second week. Today I awoke feeling happy. The sun is shining and I'm looking forward to my workout today. This is the first time I've woken up at 6.30am without an alarm, a good sign my body clock is getting used to the new routine. I think I'll make the most of the weather today and go sell my ps4 in town, who knows, if the store have the Ipad I want I may pick that up today too - that's kinda exiting. I've had my pint of water this morning and meditated. Off to a good start. I've decided not to go to the board game meetup tomorrow, but then I was invited to go see my friend in a performance of Beauty and The Beast, so I'm really looking forward to that instead. I love theater; something I'm always keeping my eyes and ears open for is a local beginners group I can join.

@Octsober Yeah, I was just thinking I'm probably trying to do too much at once. I'm gonna put the social stuff on the backburner for now as that's pretty much what's triggered my low mood today. I forget I've still achieved something so far, and sticking to the goals i already have is enough for the time being. I'm gonna make an effort to attend the things my existing friends invite me to, but I'm gonna put a little less effort into worrying about meetups and new faces, for now. I am trying to meditate more as it happens. I'm good at doing it as part of a schedule it would seem, but not as good at doing it 'in the moment' when required. I kinda do yoga, but probably not enough, it's something else I'm working on :) I'm just not sure board games captivate me in the same way if I'm honest, but I do have other interests I should be remembering to do. I guess it's just snapping myself out of that weird place so I can actually get up and do those things. Tonight was a lesson, and I'll learn from it. Oh, and thank you for your kind words and advice, as always :) End of week one. Goals moving forwards: Goal 1: Drink a pint of water each morning and maintain good hydration throughout the day. Goal 2: Meditate each morning. Goal 3: Practice German daily. Goal 4: Practice guitar daily. Goal 5: Update blog once per week. Goal 6: Stop comfort eating, eat healthy foods. Goal 7: Limit netflix/youtube time to 1 hour or 1 movie per day [excluding educational content]. Goal 8: Work out at least 3x per week.

Well I'm up past my desired bedtime, did no reading tonight or today, at all, comfort ate my way through a giant bowl of popcorn alongside a whipped [vegan] cream hot chocolate, feeling thoroughly unproductive. Been sat at the laptop for the last 4 hours or so, just browsing or Netflix. I did at least finally start gathering interior design images to help me decide what colours to paint my furniture, so that's something. Still feeling crappy for not going to yoga. Feeling crappy in general. I doubt I'll sleep well tonight. Here's hoping tomorrow will be better. I know I should use positive language and say ''Tomorrow will be better.'' but I don't have the energy to pretend rn.

Sounds like heaven!

@giblets I love The Minimalists! But yeah, I already plan to trade my ps4 into the same place I sold my games, and with the money I'm gonna buy an ipad [not for gaming!]. I did used to use it a lot for netflix and youtube, but when I have the laptop I don't really need to. Still debating whether to sell my tv or not. And the 3DS mind-battle is ever present. I haven't heard of The Productivity Show, I'll have to check it out. I fill up the cup and sip it while I wait for my porridge to cook. Or if it's a cold day I have a small cup of water and a cup of tea after eating. I'm definitely enjoying that healthy habit. I also like to stew chopped ginger in my teapot and drink that either hot or fridge-cold. Yum.

@giblets User name: BuggOfBuggs. Not sure how much I'll use it for now as I have a literal mountain of books to get through, but when I start to run out I imagine I'll be there more. Yeh I've got that one on my list :)

Thanks guys. @Regular Robert I tried that, but it didn't really help tbh. I'm not sure it's just anxiety. @Octsober Yah I'm hoping so. Congats on having done it yourself, and good luck this time too. I like board games, but I'm not so keen on the social bit, especially not when I get into this kinda weird headspace. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Update. This evening isn't going well. I didn't go to yoga in the end, and I think I've realised why I don't tend to commit to things generally; when I end up not going for whatever reason I feel stupidly bad about it. I feel like I'd have been better off not trying in the first place, and then I wouldn't be feeling so useless. Bah. Instead of yoga I ended up watching south park/netflix and eating a whole packet of biscuits, which I of course now regret, and so feel even worse. Each time I go to turn the laptop off I feel lonely, but there is literally no-one I feel like spending time with, so the internet has become a comfort blanket this evening. On the plus, at least I haven't played any games. And I did at least manage some guitar and German today. But also, no matter whether it's guitar, German, or working out, I get to around 30 mins and get bored. I dunno if this is just an adhd thing, but it's also a little disheartening. I've also noticed something else this last week; overall my focus has improved. I used to walk around in a sort of fog; when I'd finished playing a game I'd log off but it would be like my brain was jet lagged, it would take at least a couple of hours for me to readjust to reality. I've noticed it particularly at work, when I get there I can actually concentrate in our hand over meeting, whereas before everything was a blur. I'm also spending more time prepping healthy food and doing dishes and other chores rather than just letting them build up. Goal 1: Drink a pint of water each morning and maintain good hydration throughout the day. Goal 2: Meditate each morning. Goal 3: Practice German daily. Goal 4: Practice guitar daily.New Goals: Update blog once per week. Stop comfort eating, especially sugar or crisps. No more than 1 hour of netflix/youtube [except for education] or 1 movie per day. Work out at least 3x per week.

Urg, feeling crappy. I'm supposed to be reading right about now but I can't concentrate, and I'm supposed to be going to yoga after dinner but I'm getting so anxious about it. All I want to do is get lost in a game. :s

@Chaos_Boy Yeah I doubt I'll be able to achieve my daily goals all of the time, but even just having them there is acting as a reminder at least :) I think I'll end up meeting my goals more often than if I didn't have that constant reminder. Thank you :)

Welcome and good luck! I can also relate to the social issues.

Hi! You're doing really well so far, especially since your wife is still gaming, I get that must be tough but it's really cool that you've stuck to your guns :) The list of stuff you want to do is great and looks like some good motivation! I've also struggled with the social side of things so I've ventured on over to meetup.com and I found a local yoga group that I'm visiting for the first time tonight! I've also joined a board games group that I plan of meeting up with when I'm free. Fingers crossed for those! I hope you find something too :) Is there anything you could do with your kids? That might be a great way to get out and meet new people, but also you'd be setting a great example and bonding with your family over something new as well? Maybe ask them if there's anything they wanna do? I know when I was little I used to love going to martial arts classes with my mum, and I'd fly model airplanes with my dad, those memories are really special to me. I know sometimes classes can be a little costly, but when you consider the money saved by not buying games that does help to offset it a little :) @giblets I've also just created a goodreads account, thanks for the inspiration! :)

Day 7. Day 7 already?! Awesome :) So I didn't manage to play any guitar yesterday, which sucks, I wholly underestimated how long it would take to input my schedule into google calendar, but at least it's done now, and it's safe to say I don't know how I've gone this long without having it! I've been keeping a paper diary for years now, if I didn't I wouldn't have been able to function - but I feel like google calendar is going to revolutionize my life! :P You can even set goals on it .. ie: play guitar for one hour each day in the afternoon, and google will find the time in your schedule and pencil it in! I got in from work this morning and thus begins my week off, the first holiday from anything where I haven't been looking forward all the time I'd have to play games. I got in, tidied up my space, had a shower and I've already practiced my German for the day! I love the Duolingo app, it kinda feels like I'm playing a game, except I'm actually learning something! I weirdly feel similarly with google calendar - I loved games with elements of time management and I'd spend ages planning for the game, but with google calendar I can get the same level of satisfaction, except I'm actually planning my life. Win win. I'm gonna prep myself a nice healthy lunch and then sit down to some guitar, followed by some non-fiction reading and then off to an appointment. I've decided daytime reading is for non-fiction whereas my evening reading time can be for the lighter stuff. Got some time to fill before dinnertime so if I get the other things done I'll watch a little bit of Netflix, then this evening I'm going to a yoga class I found on meetups.com. I'm really nervous, but I hope it'll be ok. It's really close to where I live which is really convenient too :) One week already... can't quite believe it. I do feel like I've accomplished a lot so far though :) I'm set on selling my ps4 now, I just have to actually do it. But I'm still very much undecided about my 3DS. Goal 1: Drink a pint of water each morning. [so far so good], additionally; maintain good hydration throughout the day. New Goals: Meditate each morning, practice German daily, practice guitar daily.

I totally just signed up for 2 meetups next week, so I WILL be attending a yoga class tomorrow evening, and also a board games meetup on Wednesday. And I won't chicken out.

Day 6. Woop, no nightmares! [I slept cuddling my childhood teddy just in case, haha, I'm such a derp] No idea what I wanna do with my morning before work today, slightly too hungover to work out, I do wanna play some guitar a little later on though, and I still need to prep a meal for work this evening, but rejoice! I finish early tomorrow and then my week off begins! xD [Probably the first holiday in my life that hasn't involved gaming of any kind! Scary] Oh, I know, I'll work on some Respawn today :)

Lol, that's actually quite bizarre to me as the whole 'being female' thing is not something I typically embrace, it actually makes me pretty uncomfortable, for reasons I may or may not delve into at some point in this journal, but for now that whole thing ain't really relevant. But in short, that's why I'm just a Bugg. In real life I'm also just a Bugg, It fits, it works. So, a warrior Bugg, I can work with :) I went out tonight, had a few bottles of ale, not too many but enough to have a pleasant evening, walked home around midnight and left the others to go on clubbing without me - after all I do still have work tomorrow. But all in all a good night, and I am glad I attended and didn't stay at home. Notable point: One friend in particular pulled me to one side to tell me they need to spend more time with me before I move, which was nice, and a lovely self-confidence boost, especially since I do value their friendship. On my walk home that encounter led me to think of all my friends back home who are looking forward to me moving back, so I guess when I think about it, I can't be all that bad if people actually want to spend time with me. A good evening, put some anxiety to rest, at least for tonight anyway. Now, for hot chocolate and bed :) And, hopefully no nightmares!

Thanks, and for the above post too. I guess I am just inherently a worrier, lol. Yah I'm gonna try going out tonight and see what happens :) If I don't at least try, I'll never know.

I use it on the PC but only use messenger on my phone, I won't have the actual facebook app on my phone or any other social media as it gets too distracting. Sometimes I'll reinstall it so I can add someone on the go or post a photo, but usually it gets uninstalled pretty quick when I notice myself getting sucked in again.

I never know whether to post updates in a new box like this or edit my day to add it in there...? Update: I did play some Guitar :) and then I also learned a little German too. And now I feel.. accomplished :) Forgot to write about the nightmare I had last night [no, I didn't get the awesome night sleep I was hoping for, but oh well]. It was a really weird one, basically some guy who I think was a student at the uni was trying to inject me with a sedative and I was running all over this big house to get away from him, and my friends were there but they were all like ''what's up with you, it's not a big deal'' and I'm like ''What?! Are you kidding?''. It felt like it lasted ages. Gah. I reeeeallly hope tonight at least won't be another one.

Nawwh that's amazing! So cool that you guys rescued too, I'm always trying to educate others on the issues associated with breeders/pedigree's. Haha.. my mum's house is pretty crazy, she has 8 dogs! aaand I'm temporarily moving back in, in a few months. It's gonna be awesome, and probably terrible, all at once :P

I did get it in the end, and I'm slowly working my way through :)

This just made my day xD Massive congrats :P