Paul A.

I only made one small sale yesterday, for $200. It's been a pretty disappointing week so far. I'd expect to have at least a few invoices by now, but I only have 1. What's more, one of my older customers came back in to cancel her initial order. She did end up buying an identical set in a different color, but I didn't profit from it. If anything, I may not end up getting paid on that set, because it's technically more expensive than the initial set, but we charged her the same price. It's hard to stay motivated when I'm performing so poorly. I wrote 21 invoices last week, but I'll be lucky to write 5 by the end of this week, at the rate that I'm going. I'm wondering if last week was just a freak occurrence, and if it's even possible to replicate those results. As far as I know, I'm not doing anything differently from last week, so I don't know how to explain this lull in my performance. And I know at one level that sales is uncertain, and fluctuations in performance are bound to occur, but another part of me feels like there shouldn't be this drastic of a difference from one week to the next. From everything I've learned about sales, the best salespeople bring in consistently high numbers week after week, so the fact that I'm struggling so much this week means I'm far from the best. This is to be expected, since I only just started two months ago, but it still stings knowing how well I did last week. I'm still waiting until my regional manager comes back into the store so I can have a chat with him. I think he'll be a valuable resource for me on my road to king of the salespeople. I'm taking this goal of mine deadly serious, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes (that's morally aboveground) to achieve it. I don't expect to achieve it overnight, but I do want to start seeing some steady progress in the near future. The way I see it, I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel here, so it shouldn't take me ages to achieve a goal for which the resources to succeed are already out there. I'm off from work today, but I may end up going in if I hear that my regional manager is in for the day. In other news, today's my off day from the gym as well, and it also happens to be my little sister's birthday. We're spending most of the day out of the house, so it may prove difficult to stick to my ideal meal plan, but I'll remain vigilant. My diet always tends to fall apart on days that I'm not working out, but I'm trying my best to prevent that from happening this time around. Time will tell as to the success of my efforts.

Your mindset will make or break you when it comes to an undertaking like this. It's all about what you tell yourself mentally. If you've been telling yourself for years that you can't control it, of course that's what's going to occur. Repeat something to yourself enough times and it becomes truth, no matter how outlandish it may seem. Your mind will find a way to make it happen. What you need to do is change your inner dialogue. Tell yourself that you have complete control over your phone addiction and that using your phone in excess just isn't something that you do. Repeat these things to yourself enough times and they will become truth, guaranteed. I used this strategy to beat a PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) addiction. I haven't engaged in that behavior for over a month now. I just told myself that PMO is not something I do, and it worked. Thoughts are so much more powerful than you think. Think about something enough and it will manifest into reality. Try adjusting your inner dialogue and let me know if it works.

Well done!

I didn’t sell anything yesterday. It was a pretty slow day so I don’t feel a ways about my lack of sales, but admittedly I could’ve done a better job with the few customers I did have. One family in particular came in looking for mattresses, but I wasn’t knowledgeable enough to answer their questions adequately. Just goes to show that I have a lot to learn before I can call myself king of the salespeople. My regional manager is back from vacation, so now I’m just waiting for him to come back in to the store so I can chat with him about getting better. In other news, I can sense a passion for nutrition growing. Nutrition is nothing new to me because I’ve worked out successfully in the past, but I’m starting to redevelop my appreciation for good nutrition. I see it as a sort of game, where optimal nutrition is a sort of “power-up” that fuels your body, and poor nutrition does just the opposite. I’ve overhauled my diet starting today, and I intend to maintain a healthy diet for as long as I can. I’m eating lots of protein and nutrient-rich foods with the goal of achieving a better physique. I’m what you’d call “skinny fat”, but I want to become lean and muscular, so I need to eat accordingly. I’m hoping I can get and maintain some forward momentum with this whole fitness thing in the coming weeks. It’s hard to gauge after one day, but I think it’ll stick this time. On my way to the gym this morning, today’s gonna be leg day. I did feel some hesitance to leave the bed, but I hyped myself up and told myself that I love going to the gym, and the motivation followed. I know the early mornings will be worth it in the long run.

I had another disappointing day yesterday. The weekend as a whole was a letdown in terms of my performance. Yesterday I wrote 3 invoices for a total of $2.9k. Weekends are supposed to be our busiest days, so the fact that I didn’t hit even one daily goal over the course of the entire weekend was pretty discouraging. Our daily goal for Sunday was about $7k, but I only managed to hit $5.3k over the course of the entire weekend. Not a great way to end the week. I’m hoping I can do better this week. Last week as a whole was my best week yet, even taking my bad weekend into account. I wrote 21 invoices with a net volume of $29k, more invoices than anyone else in the store and the second highest net volume in the store. I’m hoping to exceed those numbers this week. In other news, I’m back in the gym! I just hit the gym this morning, and I did some grocery shopping right after to supplement my workouts. I’m currently 186 lbs at 5’9”, which is fairly heavy for my height. I’m looking to lose some weight while putting on some lean mass, so I’m doing what’s called a body recomposition. What that looks like is eating at a slight deficit with a protein-heavy diet while doing my typical gym routine. I’m hoping to see results in about a month, which is how long it took last time I was working out. Between my job and my new workout routine, there’s plenty to keep me busy for the foreseeable future.

Welcome back!

Best of luck friend! Sounds like you have a solid plan in place

Keep it up man. When times are tough like this, remember why you embarked on this journey in the first place. You’re stronger than you think. We’re here for you ❤️

I had a disappointing day at work today. Disappointing in terms of my numbers. Weekends are supposed to be our busiest days, but I only managed to write 3 invoices for a total of $2.4k. I realized midway through the day that my people-pleasing tendencies are preventing me from making sales. I’ve been listening to Closer’s Survival Guide audiobook by Grant Cardone, in which he provides over a hundred phrases a salesperson can use to close a sale. Problem is, I was too afraid to use any of them. I was afraid I would get an adverse reaction from the customers and lose the sale, or somehow make them feel like I was pressuring them. The thing with these closes is that they can come across as rather forceful, which I'm afraid of. I never want to seem like I'm forcing the customer to buy. Nevertheless, I think that this fear of coming across as "forceful" is costing me money. This was made apparent to me when I presented a couple with a $5.5k ticket of a recliner set they loved, at which point they let me know that they would "think about it." Any salesperson knows that this is nothing but a stall, and I had actually listened to a close from the audiobook about how to handle this exact stall, but I was too afraid to use it. And that fear ended up costing me $5.5k in lost sales. The issue that then arises is that people-pleasing is wired into my personality. I loathe confrontation and I've never liked to rock the boat. So to overcome this "tendency" of mine essentially requires an overhaul of my entire personality. It's not gonna be easy, but at this point I'm already committed to becoming the best salesperson in the store. I've got to do whatever it takes to become the king of the salespeople, and I can't reasonably expect to achieve that goal if I can't overcome a measly fear of confrontation. But instead of just forcing myself to be more type-A, I'm going to find myself a mentor, and I already have the perfect candidate in mind. My regional manager stops by the store every so often, and next time he does, I'm going to ask him what it takes to be the best. I don't want to tell my coworkers that I intend to surpass them, but I'm sure my regional manager will be supportive of my endeavors. He's a seasoned sales veteran himself, so I'll be sure to glean as much information from him as I can. I want to avoid disappointing days like today as much as possible, and I'll gladly do what it takes to make it happen.

Meditation was a hit or miss for me, usually the urge for a maladaptive behavior would overpower my meditative attempts. What I’ve found works for me is almost a form of self-delusion where I simply tell myself that I don’t engage in said behavior. Works like a charm for me.

Hey! Welcome and congratulations on taking the first step towards a happier, healthier, game-free life. I’ll be keeping track of your progress in your journal, so feel free to reach out if you want to chat!

Yesterday I went into work early again. It was fun, but I found myself getting a bit tired in the middle of the day, likely because it got very slow. Nevertheless, I had another fairly successful day, writing 5 invoices for a total of $6.6k sold. Admittedly, my success was carried by a miracle sale I made near the end of the day, where a couple approached me with full intentions to buy a fairly expensive bed set. That sale was about $3.5k, and it catapulted me to first place for the day. Naturally, I was quite excited about that. I’m off work today, which is good because I felt a bit burnt out last night. Today’s an open book; I’ll likely spend the day reading a sales book and listening to a sales audio program, and then I’m going to the local fair with my friends later this evening. I’m looking forward to a fun day.

You’re doing great!

You may want to seek professional help if this persists. Check yourself into the ER if you need to. Games were probably the one way you coped with these negative, depressive episodes, but now that you’re not gaming, your #1 coping strategy is gone. A wiser me would recommend you do your best to accept the negative emotions and just to feel how you feel for a while without trying to push it away; embrace the depression non-judgmentally and with acceptance; although that’s probably not what you need to hear right now. But for now, consider what steps you can take to get the help you need.

Today was fun. I went into work ahead of schedule and pretty much spent the entire day there. It’s funny because looking back not even two weeks ago, I would dread spending long hours at work. And yet, today I chose to go in early of my own volition, and to stay the whole day. Today was my most successful day yet; I wrote 6 invoices for a total of about $10k in sales. What made it more satisfying was the fact that I had to work for every single one of my sales, from running around checking inventory, to spending upwards of an hour with a single customer, to even doing some lifting and moving of furniture. I really feel like I helped my customers as much as I could, and it reflected in more sales. I’m planning to go in early tomorrow as well, and I hope I can replicate, if not outdo, my success from today.

You’re making great progress!

Everything is sales! At the heart of sales are the skills of convincing and persuasion. To paraphrase Grant Cardone’s Sell or Be Sold, as soon as you’ve convinced someone of your point of view or persuaded them to take a certain course of action, you’ve made a sale! Everything in life can be seen as a sales transaction. It’s a beautiful profession because you don’t need much in the way of a formal education to succeed, anyone can be a high achiever in sales with the right mindset and work ethic. For someone like me who abhors school, it’s perfect! KAIZOKU-O ONI ORE WA NARU! (I’M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES!)

So I decided to drop music and go all in with my sales job. I still have two songs I’m waiting on to get mixed/mastered, but I’m not in a hurry to get them back. I figured if I’m gonna go all in with something, it might as well be sales, since it’s something I’m new to. The way I see it, it’s less discouraging to work towards honing a new, unfamiliar skill than it is to work on an old skill in which you haven’t improved at by much. Either way, the past few days have been pretty good. I’m enjoying going to work, so much so to the point that I went in on my off day (today) to do some product research and make some calls. I humorously tell myself that I’m going to be “the king of the salespeople” (an homage to One Piece to any of my anime fans), but I’m putting in the work to turn that humorous statement into reality. I’m planning to go in a few hours early tomorrow to watch some training materials. I spent most of yesterday at work and I had a fairly successful day; I managed to sell upwards of $5k in furniture. Although I’ve set a goal of myself to sell at least $10k every day I’m working, I’m still happy when I know I put in my best effort. I’m happy to sell anything at all, really. To me, sales is all about helping people. The more people I sell to, the more people I help. And even if I don’t end up selling to a person, if I know I put my best effort to help them while they were in the store, then I’m satisfied. I spent a good portion of the first half of today sleeping, followed by a therapy session. I had a fairly enlightening discussion with my therapist about a good array of topics, from the power of mindset, to affirmations, to the significance of Yin Yang. After that, I went to my workplace (even though I was off) to make some calls and do some research. Two customers I had worked with previously expressed interest in buying more furniture, which I’m excited about. If I can sell them more stuff, it means I’ve helped them out even more; or at least that’s the way I see it. Something frustrating did happen over the past two days though. I’ve expressed my desire to excel at my job to two of my close friends, but one of them did nothing but discourage me and label me “delusional” for wanting to do so. He specifically called me delusional because of my positive thinking, saying I’m not being “realistic.” This is super confusing to me, because he thinks he can tell ME how I feel about MY job. It’s even more frustrating because he has a tendency to not take me seriously and discourage me every time I present him with a new goal or aspiration. To him, it’s just another in my string of inevitable failures. Well, I decided to cut ties with him after that. This isn’t the first time I’ve cut ties with said friend, but for one reason or another I would always let him back into my life. Well, not again. I’ve grown to a point where I can no longer tolerate any negative energy in my life, even from old friends. It’s a shame because we’ve been through a lot together, but this is simply the way it has to be. Funny thing is, this “friend” hasn’t had a job for years and is literally doing nothing with his life, claiming that he wants to be depressed until he dies. I’ve tried to help him so many times, but he just refuses to be helped. And like I said before, I can’t have this energy in my life anymore. I can’t have people dragging me down every time I want to make a positive change in my life. I’m 20 now, we’re too old for that. Otherwise, things have been on the up and up these past few days.

remember.mp4 remember.mp4 I’m started to get discouraged with music. I downloaded TikTok to research what other artists are doing in terms of social media, but I was inundated with videos of rappers that are way more talented than me. Up to this point I thought I was a pretty decent rapper, but the fact that I can’t freestyle coupled with my mediocre lyricism in comparison to other MCs pretty much deflated my confidence in my ability. And I logically know I can just work hard and put in more time to improve in both these areas, but at this point I’m not sure if I’m even willing to put in the work. Music is something I really enjoy and I’d love to do it as a career, but there’s a bit of an impostor syndrome that kicks in when I see how average I really am. I don’t even think I have what it takes to be a professional musician anymore. Other than music, I’ve been trying to improve at work. For those who don’t know, I sell furniture, and it’s a salaried position draw commission. I’m actually starting to enjoy my job, which I detested less than a week ago. I’m motivated to become at least the best salesperson in my store, if not the whole company. Ever since I “discovered” positive thinking, I discovered an underlying desire to be the best at anything I do. It’s kind of why this music situation is so discouraging, because I recognize that I’m far from the best, and that there’s a seemingly insurmountable wall between me and my goal. And yet, I recognize I’m far from being the best salesperson in my store, let alone the company; but it doesn’t bother me nearly as much. Maybe because I’ve only been selling furniture for 2 months, whereas I’ve been making music on and off for years now. I’m leaving a “rough” version of a song I’ve been working on attached to this post for you all to listen to. I’m rather proud of it, but it may end up being the culmination of my on-again, off-again relationship with music; I’m not sure if I intend to continue making music after this song is finished. Any feedback on the song is greatly appreciated.

Aug. 1 - Aug. 4 My birthday was on Monday the 1st, and I spent a majority of the day at work. I turned 20. I didn’t feel particularly excited, it was just another day to me. Otherwise, I’ve just been working the job and working on more music. I’m at 6 songs out of 52, and I wrote a 7th earlier today. In other news, I’m actually starting to enjoy my job. I realized it’s all about mindset (as corny as that may sound). I rediscovered the power of positive thinking, and re-learned how thoughts generate feelings, which generate actions. It all starts with your thoughts. If you think positive, you’ll feel positive, and you’ll do positive, which in turn leads to more positive thoughts, and the cycle repeats. Of course, there’s such a thing as toxic positivity, but I’m far from that point. What I’ve found works best is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones as they come up. No need to force myself to think positive constantly. And it really does work. I found myself more motivated for work than usual, and one of my coworkers noticed that I’m more lively today. I’m excited to see the power of positive thinking playing out the more I practice it.

My workday is dragging even longer than usual. I don’t particularly enjoy my job, but today feels especially taxing. I can’t wait to go home to work on some music. I woke up early this morning (5am), went for a run, wrote a song, then I went back to sleep before I had to come here to work. I also wrote another song while at work. All things considered, it’s been a fairly successful day, but I just want the workday to be over with.

Thank you for the kind and supportive words! And I’ll be sure to share my music as I upload it

Thank you! And I’ll consider your offer and get back to you haha

Sorry for the late reply, I didn’t see this till now! Funny enough, a friend of mine gave me a book by Shannon Lee (Bruce Lee’s daughter) that contained some of Bruce Lee’s wisdom. That book got me into studying Buddhism and Taoism, which in turn led me to my current practice of mindfulness and presence (although admittedly I can’t stick to meditation as well as I’d like to). Enjoy your trip to the mountains!

I notice I’m starting to be less consistent with my entries. I’m now aware of this and I’ll try to change it. Anyway, I was struck by something. I had posted the other day about a recurring sense of dissatisfaction coming up every now and again. Well, I determined that the cause of it was my own failure to take decisive action in life. Apart from dropping video games, I haven’t taken any action to improve my life, so of course I’d be dissatisfied. That’s not to say that once I reach a certain milestone in life, I’ll be satisfied. But I haven’t actively been working towards something. In other words, I haven’t been taking any action. Well, that’s gonna change. I’ve had a passion for music for a while now. I’ve uploaded songs on streaming platforms, and I’ve taught myself how to produce and how to mix/master. The one thing I’ve failed to do is be consistent with posting music. So I’m gonna change that. I’ve made a goal to make 52 songs at once so that I can upload one song a week for a year. As of this writing, I have two completed. I’m not so determined to get to that magic number 52 as I am to just immerse myself in the music making process. If I fixate so much on getting to 52 songs, the quality will suffer. I know 52 songs will take a while, but I’d rather take my time and enjoy the process than rush to crank out mediocre work. In addition to my music making, I’ve decided to start waking up early every morning (5am). I’ve determined waking up early to be my keystone habit that will create forward momentum in my life, so I’m determined to stick to it, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. I’m also gonna start working out 4x a week, first thing in the morning. I know these initiatives won’t transform my life overnight, but over time they’ll create the forward momentum I need to succeed. I’m not motivated by the results either, I’m motivated by the prospect of taking action on a daily basis towards a better life for myself. I think this will prove much more sustainable than any other source in the long run.