Laney

http://1041uuu.tumblr.com @kortheo @SegaCity

Thanks for your journal on procrastination. Really hit home with me. I constantly put things off when I know it won't be perfect. I thought it was depression but I see now the depression is not the cause, just a bad side effect of having not done my systems when it wouldn't achieve the goal. Edit: also I find it funny so many relevant articles and books are ones directed to men. It's a great way to reach people though by focusing on a group instead of everyone, and making people identify and see a need (ie, being more of a man). I'll probably read more man oriented stuff from now on instead of writing it off.

@Alkan My dreams of mmo's are not correlated to my mmo playing. Nor do my dreams of mmo's replicate any game I've ever played. So it's not really something I can connect in my brain to the disgust I feel towards gaming, other than waking up feeling guilty. I did manage to dream feeling guilty in game as I started waking up more. Haha. That was interesting.

"I have been using my depression as a crutch, when it's really the reason I should be working harder." My friend told me that when I was going through a tough time and it has always resonated with me.

Sounds like things are going pretty well! I never would have guessed I'd be here on this forum quitting games either. I found I was missing out on certain activities I remembered I enjoyed (like movies or coffee) after my breakup a year ago. Try going to a movie by yourself, it's a pretty fun experience ;3 And of course with friends. But one of my best movie going times was when I was feeling a little down and wanted to see Inside Out. I went by myself and cried a bunch and loved it, haha. The only book of yours I've read is The Great Gatsby. How weird.

FYI You can tag me in a post by typing the @ symbol and then my username. I'll get a notification when you tag me. You acknowledge you don't have many friends and you see yourself as less emotionally prepared. That's fine, lots of people are emotionally unprepared and grow together to make friends you gotta get out there. Meetups, clubs, reaching out to friends you have now and hosting/going to events with them. The whole reason I decided I needed to quit was because I thought real life was boring in comparison. And it's not! Life is fantastic and exciting, and our technology advancements right now? Soo good. I want you to recapture that! This is your brain on video games, not life is actually boring. I get my urge to live in another world out during my pen and paper tabletop games. My creativity and innovative thinking blooms in those sessions and it's fun! (I am part of a Shadowrun campaign as a street samurai)

Wew first day and already got a number. Ahaha. That's great. I'm a trained classical singer myself, I adore string instruments and especially piano. Do you compose your own pieces? That's what I was never good at.

Using a new Chrome app to help manage my time while at work and outside of it. It's called Morphine and it gives you time as currency to spend on browsing given in intervals of pre-selected minutes. (I get 4 minutes of browsing time every 30m atm). It's made me very aware of how much time I spend on websites and has made me already a lot more productive at work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlGL0RsQvaw helped me with death. enjoy, worth the time

A great idea would be to replace the gaming pc with a laptop! It will feel different and it'd be a good way to create new internet habits on a computer. Pc's aren't really needed in most professions, and a laptop is portable too. It will not trigger the same urges as your big screens, fancy mice and keyboard. (If you need a pc for say, CAD or something. Perhaps replacing any shiny gaming esque accessories with normal ones) I'm 22 and I just began this journey as well. I believe you can do this and go clean for the rest of your life. Welcome to the forums and I look forward to reading your updates

I'm so proud of you! Whoo!! Welcome to the forums <3 Selling that account is a huge step. What kind of hobbies are you interested in developing instead now you have all this time?

Interesting thought with the cold shower! I'm scared I wouldn't be able to do it, as I wake up at 5am for work when it's freezing..My reward is a warm shower but! I force myself to end the shower with cold water, and I've seen alertness improvements since then. My length is still very much longer than 5 minutes though. The dancing video is fantastic, good job on these challenges. Also I do think it's more natural to say a greeting and then a compliment, but I have gotten very many positive responses from complimenting people out of the blue. It may be less creepy because I'm a chick? Hm.

This. Teachers weren't focused on the ones who were passing but not challenging themselves. They gave extra attention to the ones outwardly struggling.

Thanks haha, that sounds quite boring compared to my usual dreams. I'm always under duress in mine. Stressed even when sleeping, sounds about right! Makes for amazing, awe inspiring sci fi adventures...let me tell you. ;3 I love my dreams until an ex appears or (now) an mmo appears.

I'm not sure if I want to share. 1. Don't want to trigger cravings in you guys, which is why I never mention game titles unless needed 2. I can forget it if I don't recall it for ya

Dreamed about playing an mmo. Yay. Those dreams began a few years into playing mmo's I imagine they won't go away for a few years. gg.

Sorry. I'm learning how to paint but I'm doing it on my own without guides so I'm probably not much help

Cool! Korean! Love it. A big part of why you might not have been be able to fall asleep earlier with games is the bright screen + mental stimulation. Many of us on here suggest using f.lux on your pc for when you have to browse at night.

Hey Laney - I know that you had initially decided to keep playing single player RPGs - has that changed? Are you going totally game free, or still allowing some single player games? I think I've decided that for the detox I'll be going all games free. After that I'll probably re inteoduce them. As I said, I'm not addicted to rpg's. And going through this I am more aware of the time I used when playing them.

I'm the same way with painting as you are with writing, I can't fit it into a scheduled time. But I scheduled it anyway: An hour a day at like 4pm. Have I painted everyday at 4pm? No. But I have painted everyday For some reason, having it in my planner makes me more likely to paint overall. It's great that your girlfriend is trying a different medication. AND I am glad you are supportive through this change. My ex left me during a switch in medication, told me I should figure myself out on my own. She is very blessed I am not sure how she handles life but, habits are pretty cool. I dont ever leave the fridge until I've shut the door even when I only want it open for a little "to put the butter/milk/insert object here" back in real fast. I have even left car doors open before...aha... Anyway It's possible, but she has to make it important to make the change. Basically the act of opening the fridge equals to close it. They need to feel connected in her habit loop. She wants to turn the AC on? Put a sticky note there "Check The Windows!" Have her write it and place it next to the AC where she'll look. Approach her saying you have an idea for the window closing and be positive about it! That visual reminder will help. She wants to be good at these things, and she would be if she has something to remind her or she built a habit/trigger of the behavior she wants. Just like when you bring up the rent she's right on it. And yes!!! Cleanup during cooking is the only way I can ever get dishes done. Best habit I ever built <3 I'm still pretty bad at it though, but at least if I'm doing a long fancy meal like baking or your burgers I have 1/5 the cleanup to do at the end.

Whoo! That's a big step getting rid of all your accounts like that. *applause* I have an idea for you. Since you're having trouble realizing you can live life without porn and games, do a retreat with friends. Go camping or stay in a cabin with no internet and phone service for a weekend. Bring card games, food and a good pair of boots. Enjoy life outside of this obsessive internet world for a bit. Also remember to not just replace gaming and porn with just solo stuff. Guitar and working out is AWESOME and definitely keep doing that, but keep in mind you need to fulfill your social needs too. It'll get boring real fast if you just spend time with yourself and only yourself.

You're here and you keep coming back to read and post, just like I was before I made the commitment to quitting games! It's tough to go from "I'll just try to avoid games for a few days to see if I want to do this for real..." to "Yes! We're actually doing this and enjoying it. Sober feelz for real" My brain defended it's right to game pretty hardcore, my head hurt for the whole first week of being sober not really accepting that I wasn't gunna go back ever. In fact, I quit silently and didn't tell anyone until day two. I encourage you to do the daily journal especially during the first couple of days, and to be honest with yourself. Feel free to grab this template a lot of us use and change it to fit your needs: *Insert reflection of your day, or yesterday* 3 Things I'm grateful for: One amazing thing that happened today: What I could have done to make my day better: What I will do differently tomorrow:

Don't feel silly, it was a part of our life where we didn't have the right guidance to show us it wasn't how one wants to live a life. It was easy, gave us satisfaction, we felt accomplished, we had parents to take care of us. Now we have the opportunity to grow and discover ourselves, and to feel truly accomplished in the real word. I don't regret my past, I just regret not getting fed up with all of my gaming problems sooner! Haha, but I'm glad that we're here now.

Hey @Zane, I ran across your journal while browsing during lunch today, How have you been doing on replacing gaming with healthy things? (working out, socializing, school, dating, any other hobbies). Last I read you were struggling with making progress there and you felt very lonely/not inspired. It would be nice to hear how things are going and chat about them. Loneliness to me has always been a feeling that grows as I feed it, and lessens as I don't pay attention to it + focus on other things. Say, if I listen to music that reminds me of my past relationships, or I romanticize too much my previous relationship and get nostalgic. That lowers my mood and encourages my loneliness to appear. A page or two ago you said something about how you had both beauty and a cool personality in your ex, but, reading earlier in your journal I find this quote: This is something that I think is important. You have substance. You have morals and ethics and dreams that are passionate and unique to you. I was and am still carried away by the people I date. I tend to date passionate confident people who inspire me, and many of them detach eventually because I become too similar to be interested in. I aim to be someone who can inspire my partner just as much as they inspire me. It's a work in progress. You were deeply carried away in that relationship and you stopped growing while she continued and you, in a sense, worshiped her for it. It's not healthy to have a relationship like that, and I hope you can start noticing the signs of 'losing yourself' in others over time. I am stoked you made this GQ decision and are trying to grow and focus on yourself! I think that's exactly what you need and you have a lot of potential to utilize your empathy for others in beneficial ways. (Have you thought of volunteering?? Helping other's is SUCH a great feeling and a good outlet for lonely feelings and a big magnet for positive-proud vibes) You are soooo creative, your white board and decorations in your room are stylish and show care for color, placement and visual aesthetics. Finding a hobby and habits that can include this in your life would be a great step for your school habits!! I recommend the planner I use for school, The Passion Planner I added pictures of others instagrams of it below. I have a full set of different highlighter colors and use them for different things, (orange for class, red for assignments and finals, blue for social, purple for appointments, green for exercise, pink for homework taime) And even if you don't highlight, the writing space and visualization of your whole day and week in time slots is amazingly helpful.

High school: projects and long homework assignments were rushed but I was still an A/B sometimes C student. While at school I was very dedicated and took steps to finish assignments there instead of at home. College: huge negative impact. Quick homework and mini study sessions the night before tests worked in hs but not in my more intense classes. Along with my adhd and gaming as a way to escape life and my depression of how I was failing at it, I almost got low enough for academic probation. Now that I'm diagnosed I haven't failed a class but I havent retained as much as other students even when getting the same grade. I hope quitting games improves long term retention and my project quality (not rushed, and better study habits) It's hard for me to describe what was specifically because of games or my adhd that caused my failures. But there was a quarter where I was so depressed and hating myself that I showed up to Zero of my finals and flunked an entire quarter, was kicked out of my extracurricular activity for good as well. EDIT: Oops, I forgot about the second question. I don't think my teachers were aware at all.