Hitaru

We can't change our parents' behavior, but we can choose how to react. My father also drank a lot (now so-so), the situations are different but I can understand the source of your bad feelings. I don't know if you felt the same, but for me I wanted my parents to have a supportive and understanding role in my life, and when this didn't happen or their own problems and weaknesses got in the way, it was frustrating, almost overwhelming. It's difficult and painful to see them as lost and troubled as us, but they are human as well. Over the years I discovered the only real thing you can do is lead by example. You can't talk or shout your way into changing anyone. Become the person you want your parents to be. It's the best you can do to inspire others to take action as well, and perhaps change for good. 71 days! You're almost there, don't give up! Focus on what's working in your live and double it down. You have this. Urges come and go in spikes but you'll notice this spikes being weaker each time. Two and something weeks. You can do it.

Well, well! Two of the 4 exercises asked are a solid 10/10 done. I can jump 2.10 and nearing 40 abs. Running is also getting steadily better. Push-ups are my heel, but I guess that's what I get in exchange of the natural lower body prowess. Guess I'll have to take back fencing again! (That said, keeping a sword guard where it should is no laughing matter, my worst physical experience was definitely trying fencing untrained) I'm officially called to do the physical tests and psychological evaluation on the 14th next month. @Cam Adair, you'll have to stop saying so merrily that I was once in a Psychiatric Ward when announcing my case study until then [And for the record, I didn't "end" (as in "admitted into"), I just slept there once in observation. No shirt around my arms or anything. In the morning I was so fine I swear I caught several doctors staring at me as if I had freeloaded the bed and dinner. Hmph!] Ah yes! The case study. That was another goal achieved this week. I feel more happy than proud or any other emotion for having told my story. There was face reveal involved, dun dun. The implications are mild but definitive, if someone wants to look anything about me, that article will show up (and perhaps more in the future). EXISTENTIALISM WARNING: So as to now, the only testimonials of my presence in this world are some awarded joke narrative I wrote in high-school and a story proving that I was a game addict. If I died now, that would be "me". Can't say it doesn't describe me well as I currently am, but at the same time makes my blood boil in anticipation. I want to do more! And I shall. Life began happening slowly again, instead of the blur of pointless days and weeks and months. Half of this year passed in an awkward sneeze, but if things fall in its right place, it will be worth. It always is in the end.

That's why I use stayfocusd now, to set my own rules without cutting my arm. Pls, I now have +500 sites blocked until 2100 (99% of them are P, but it's a number)

I see your point, but you must understand there is LGBT and then drugs. Drugs are completely their own topic, and if you ask me, I find absolutely ridiculous any kind of association between drugs and freedom or reivindication of any sort. They are just chemicals you take to artificially alter your state of mind (nothing against self-poisoning, it's their own body). Sometimes called ideology. Then there is the scene. The scene is... complex, to say the least. It's a lot of formerly repressed people trying to cope and find themselves. Damaged people sometimes. Not wrong or worthless because of it. So of course drugs and irresponsible behaviors come into the mix. But that has nothing to do with being LGBT in itself. Like same sex? Congrats, you're LGB (and some T). Feel gender is wrong? You're T. The rest is social behavioral bullshit. Like the hetero scene with clubbing. Own codes. Own issues. Own people screwing things around. Decent people on every side. That's the way I see it. If I'm not normal for being bi and not gay normal for not taking drugs, boy, I must be another kind of rebel.

@Marquess Wait, did I sound awkward because my neuroticism or because my broken English? Thanks for the compliment anyway! You know, I can't help but feel the last 30 pages of my journal are completely skippable. It's just me saying "Duh, I did nothing today, duh I'm struggling" over and over again. I'm glad I'm finally coming out of that stage but at the same time have this odd nostalgia about the beginning. It was more authentic, more raw "me", even if "bad me" whom I never want to face again (yet I will at some point, I know. Life is circles. I'm only getting better at it). It is as you say, like you I'm also in the process of assuming who I am and act accordingly. There are choices, but you must understand first the inner workings, the beasts down below, and then choose. Those beasts (or rather their manifestations) are custom made for the most part. You sail, right, but you have to understand the tides, when you'll feel high, when you'll feel low and why, what actions to take... Nothing that you don't know already. About the gay stuff, yes, quite. There are people completely obsessed about not letting other people do what they want, but those are a slim (and dangerous) minority. Where I live at least. You're right in that a comment or whatever has a much larger impact on the receiving end. I don't think anyone has ever said "Yo, it was a blast when I verbally put that fag in his place 5 years ago" and surprise surprise, I bet you (and me, and most people) can recall perfectly something nasty some stranger said ages ago. Personally, I don't feel LGTBIQetc rights a struggle. Just being is already revolutionary sometimes. I will speak up if I feel I have to but it's not a priority. That's probably a sign that things are going at least ok in my society. Perhaps I wouldn't think the same if I was in Saudi Arabia. Social justice is legacy and legacy was another fallacy to avoid considering the consequences of mortality right? Or not, I'm the one wanting to do politicky stuff after all. Man, so many things I wanted to say for so long. As always the good Marquess. So glad to have you back.

Welcome to the forum! Journaling can feel pretty big at first. It was my first time journaling as well and I had all these fears about my privacy and sounding stupid. Fortunately this community is top-tier, so you don't have to worry. Fine folks here, you'll see. Social pressure is a b*tch, even when unintentional. Gaming has become so widespread, it kind of feels odd not to play. It comes to the classic dilemma: "Do what everybody else does or try something else when I know it'll be a good thing?" You won't become a better person just from quitting games, but you'll grow if you focus on what works for you. Speaking of not just quitting, identify the reasons that made you take back gaming, and start from there. Was it boredom? Coping with something unpleasant? Challenge? Then compare it to the reasons that made you stop. What is it that you want to do instead of gaming? What actions can you take right now that will be achievable and set you on the course towards your goals? What needs are gaming satisfying in your life that could be taken care of by doing something else? Consider yourself best wished!

@Marquess is back You mean towards the feminine gender or your own gender? Man, you've been through a lot. Looking forward to read you again. Welcome back dear friend!

Hi @Yousef B! Welcome to the forum! - What's going on here? 1. Journal Section: The main activity of the forums happens here. You can open a thread and write about your journey. Seek support, share interests, read other journals for inspiration and connection. 2. Main Section: Threads relevant to the Game Quitters community and discussion about video game addiction. New content will be announced here. The "Quit Gaming" part. 3. Other Sections: Anything outside video game addiction: Lifestyle, social skills and off-topics. The "Start living a life you're proud of" part. - Resources: The Youtube channel. Success stories. +60 New Hobby Ideas List.

I've been working on all the social media infrastructure for Game Quitters in Spanish and it's mostly set. Now it only needs... people. Workin' on it. A bit boring day, but fine overall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmOzHNgSw6Q

Nah, forget about what I said, it was just a silly rant without any actual base. I'm doing awesome. I'm almost ready to take the entrance tests with the maximum scores. I can jump 2 meters (forward without running), do 30 abs, around 10 push-ups and run for five minutes without much effort. It's been only 5 days of training and there's a month left. Just what in the world man. I was always the worst at school. Life trolls you in myseterious ways, but hey, I'm healthy now. Healthier. Looking forward to see more improvements!

Tenemos página de Facebook y Twitter! Links en el primer post.

Me alegro de que te haya parecido interesante mi historia! Tengo que editarla todavía un poco, añadir algunas cosas, sintetizar otras, a veces divago mucho. El tema de la comunidad hispanohablante va de momento despacio, hay mucho contenido interesante que podríamos traducir (y que te podría ayudar mucho) pero sencillamente no hay manos, prácticamente ahora mismo solo estamos @Daniel y yo como habituales. Me consta que hay más gente en la comunidad que habla o entiende español pero de momento no se han pronunciado Pero se andará, esa es una de las razones por las que me quedé en la comunidad después de terminar el detox (90 días sin jugar). Organizar tu día y tu semana de antemano es una de las herramientas más efectivas contra esos vaivenes emocionales. De esa manera puedes saber que da igual como te sientas, hay una serie de cosas que tienes que hacer y ya luego te puedes sentir como quieras. El truco está en que cuando haces esas cosas que te propones, al final acabas sintiéndote mejor de lo que creías por la mañana o el día anterior. Y en el peor de los casos, al menos llegas a casa cansado y apenas te queda tiempo para sentirte mal. Tus emociones no definen quien eres, solo tus acciones. Las emociones duelen, pero no hacen daño al cuerpo, a tu supervivencia en el sentido estricto de la palabra. Solo están en la cabeza. Tienes que transicionar de alguna manera de tu cabeza al mundo físico. Empieza a pensar en lo que tienes, de manera objetiva, más que en lo que sientes que tienes, o te falta, o crees que deberías tener. Te darás cuenta de que das muchas cosas por hechas porque siempre han estado ahí, y no lo digo para que te sientas culpable o egoísta, nos pasa a todos. Todos damos por normal tener una casa, una familia, comida, una escuela a la que ir, gente con la que hablar... sobretodo los que estamos ansiosos por mejorar y vemos las cosas buenas como items en el checklist ya conseguidas (y en las que por tanto ya no hay que pensar o preocuparse). Una cosa que me ayudó en su momento fue un 'mood tracker', un registro de estados de ánimo. Puedes hacerlo a mano, como un diario en el que solo apuntas emociones sin extenderte en los motivos, o usar una app. Yo tengo Android así que usé una llamada Daylio (está en español). Échale un ojo, quizá te sirva. Lo estuve usando durante 3 meses registrando mi estado de ánimo cada hora, como una especie de estudio de personalidad. Y una de las cosas de las que me di cuenta desde el principio es como hay muchas cosas a lo largo del día que me hacen sentir bien, como un buen almuerzo o un programa de TV que me gusta, y por las que sin embargo no doy gracias, no las tengo presentes en mi día como sí tengo las cosas malas. Sería genial que por cada sentimiento negativo que tuvieras, pudieras enfrentarlo a un sentimiento de gratitud, por cualquier cosa por básica que te parezca. Las emociones también crean inercia. Busca la inercia positiva.

Today I scored a 80% success. Went sailing, amazing. And a bit scary, I was alone with the instructor in a boat designed for 3 or 4 (Omega class, if someone here understands) and it probably took some higher power mercy for us to stay afloat. On the good side, undivided attention and lots of actual sailing time for me, yes. Tomorrow more. Pushing the boat down and up the ramps is way worse than any work-out, I'm already dreading it. I ate healthy as the trainer instructed me and I can feel the energy settling in (or rather coming back to) my body each time, which is a great sign. Probably this was the key all this time, that I need a little but constant input of nourishment. I'll have to perfect the habit, but so far is acceptable. I went to the gym and while it was a group class and I made some mistakes, didn't leave disappointed. I can't wait to keep going and see results. - Side note: I received a mail from the hostel Cam and I stayed. Just skimmed through it, but I can already tell is bad. I left another of my "honest" reviews and the woman wrote me back in what I interpret is a mix of annoyance and disappointment. Never use exaggeration as a lighthearted joke in a review. Actually I should simply stop spitting my stupid opinions when they are obviously not wanted. The whole "feedback" scheme is a fraud. People only expect you to say "Aww it was amashing thnks u <3" and if you don't then bam, an asshole you are. A party-pisser. A terrible guest. How dare you tell what you saw or think you saw, objectively, even if yes, I could of course make mistakes in judgement and yes, I am the first one wishing I could have elaborated and explained that some things weren't actually bad and I wasn't complaining, but it's hard to express yourself in less that 500 characters. And no, I'm not quoting her, just thoughts in my mind. The whole travel thing, especially when young and cheap, is about improvising, not being offered a good service. You pay for your enthusiasm, not for the expected service. You reach the destination and whatever happens, happens. Every commentary you make will make you look bad, like not enlightened enough by the experience of just being able to be there. Like you should have stayed in your comfy-bitch-asshole mansion. And again no, I'm not saying she offered us a bad service, it's just the trend I've noticed so far in the places I've been. People acting all offended all the time because you don't kiss their feet for just letting you out of capitalist kindness to not sleep on the streets. I know travelers and tourists can be a real pain but come the fuck on, sigh.

Welcome to the forum @Zntrix!

That's called mindless browsing my man You're up to something big Rem. Think of all the stuff you'll be able to do if you can automate all you PC usage in "productivity mode". Remigjus, Destroyer of Worlds!

I could organize the first wave of work and feels awesome. Also, I'm sick today to celebrate it. But nevermind, I'm still going on with my stuff. Nothing screams "normalcy" better than not stoping life in its tracks at the first sign of discomfort. What a crap day today. I made a mistake about the dates of my courses twice, both in the morning and in the afternoon. I spent money going to places for nothing, stumbled upon annoying people and this stomach ache is killing me. On the plus side, I guess I was able to meet my imaginary responsibilities, so ok. I wanted routine, and routine I got. Something still feels lacking, but it doesn't feel like a big thing. Maybe a hobby?

Amazing mindset friend. No drama, no victimism, just a genuine desire to improve yourself is the only thing you need; either if you come from rock bottom or you decided you could do better. Congrats on your almost 90! We have a Celebrate section where you can write about your journey so far and how did you experience it. Even if you're a relative newcomer, every story counts. For anything else, you have the Main Section and the Journals. Welcome to the forum!

The craic has arrived, the games now afraid Welcome to the forum!

@WorkInProgress Only the gender question is hot, not the gay question, and only in more "intellectual" circles. The rest of the people simply shrugs. Shrug means tolerance but not always sincere acceptance. Progress takes time, but things are going forward. Gay people in every national party in Spain as well, though for the right is probably for propagandistic reasons. A specific sector of the right, that is. Yeah, me too! I believed being sexual would be nothing but oppresive to the girls around me. After all, I'm a male, a human specimen with inherent proclivity to violence and rape. Right? Riiiight? I honestly believed it, or at least noticed how awkward was for the girls to reject people's advances and how seemingly stupid was to lose standing friendships for "merely physical and hormonal manifestations". So I didn't want to take part in that circle. The reproductive circle. How silly. In the end, the image you believe of yourself is the image you'll start to project outside. If you approach girls with the honest inner conviction that you're up to nothing wrong, 9 out of 10 or more will also get that impression. Must be non-verbal language or something in the air. I also had this impression from long time ago, but didn't want to come across as pushy or ambitious. "I'm not in the position of telling a man who's being working for himself for 8+ years how to do his own job", that's what I thought. The translations were also coming painfully slow and well, I also didn't want to bite more than I can chew. But I'm not stepping back without trying for sure. I was wasting way too much time doing nothing, I strongly believe I'm up to the challenge if I organize myself properly. My current responsibilities are: 1. Mail 2. Moderating the forum and taking care of the community (plans being made) 3. Social media 4. Uploading stuff 5. Miscellaneous. My hands are full right now, and despite the stress, couldn't be happier with it. I'm getting the impression I'll be posting a bit less in my own journal, but you'll see me around in other places. Hitarupower set to the max.

Hola Lucas! Welcome to the forum! Congrats on those 52 days! As you've personally experienced, it's not that much about the day count (though is important, it's not called detox as a joke) than the process of getting your life back in order. You put the pieces of the puzzle together and bam, "suddenly" things are working again. Am I right? Then, about offline games. Online provides the social connection, which is a crucial factor into developing a dependency, because not only you have an attachment to the game, also to the people you play with, if only the brief interaction of matching against a stranger. The challenge of a real competitor is rewarding, and the reward process is the key of the whole thing. If someone doesn't have many friends outside the gaming world (which are not exactly easy to find, 97% of the youth plays videogames) or doesn't like to go out that much, those people are in greater risk of becoming addicted. But if you're not looking for the social connection but the entertainment (avoid boredom), what makes you think offline games would be less addictive? I can count the times I played against other people with my hands, yet I was addicted for 16 years, playing up to 16 hours a day. Of course I'm not saying you'll end like me. When considering to play games in moderation (a 100% respectable option) you want to think first of all "What am I looking to achieve by playing?" "What needs do I have that games can satisfy?" "Can I take care of those needs by doing something else, equally or more satisfying?" Games are perfect to kill time and being instantly entertained; nothing wrong with that, so if you think you're already using your time well then sure, why not, try gaming. But if you feel that nagging in the stomach that makes you think "Maybe I should be doing something else" or you believe there's an undeniably high risk of things getting out of hand again, then don't. If it's about boredom, there's a million things you can do instead.

Cam (el "jefazo") suele decir: "Abierto a todas las posibilidades, sin depender de ninguna" (es de un libro, pero no sabría darte la fuente ahora mismo). Estamos tan acostumbrados a que el "objetivo" de la relación con las mujeres sea conseguir su atención como paso previo a conseguir su afecto o el desenlace físico, que ya funcionamos en modo automático. Nos lo han enseñado como una competición, "asalta el castillo" o "atrapa la bandera". Por eso a las mujeres se las "conquista". Todo lo que "deberías hacer" con respecto a tus sentimientos y tus hábitos ya lo has escrito tú mismo. Lo sabes. Seguramente has tenido alguna vez esta sensación de "Joder, se supone que debería estar haciendo/sintiéndome de esta manera, ¿Por qué no lo estoy haciendo?" Los sentimientos vienen y pasan. ¿Cuales son las acciones específicas que puedes tomar cuando empiezas a sentirte mal para recuperar la situación? Las acciones llevan de la mano a las emociones, no al revés. Si quieres controlar tus emociones, empieza por controlar tus acciones. Mucho ánimo Jay! Ojalá escribieras más por aquí.

Awesome! Taking specific actions is key. You'll hear that from Cam like a bajillion times Working in pomodoros (hour blocks) is probably the best way to stay focused and do productive, meaningful work. Specially when you have several goals in mind. Looking forward to read you!

I suggest you sell. You said it, you can buy another computer and play again someday. But right now you should focus on your goals, see how you feel when you achieve them and if you still want to play by then, give it a try. Think about the reasons that you currently may have for being emotionally attached to your pc (if you weren't, you wouldn't have problem selling it). Doing it could be also a form of commitment, taking a specific action to make a difference from what you've been doing. Those goals you've achieved are amazing man, don't sell yourself low! Reflect on your victories and how rewarding they felt.