Cam Adair

Hey Alex! Love reading your updates and really appreciate you contributing to share your thoughts with others. My "to-do" read list is so long. Last I checked it was 247 lol. But I like knowing which books I want to read in the future so I actually get to them. What is your next-book going to be?

Hey! Welcome to the forum. Great to have you join us here.

Zoo sounds like a blast!

Great job man! Proud of you.

Hey Bruce! Thanks for joining us here! The key is to find new activities to replace gaming. That way you aren't sitting around bored all day long which is when you'll want to play. Games are just your outlet, the way you spend all your time, so it's about finding new ways to do that instead. For ideas you can check out 60+ Hobby Ideas. Let us know if you have any questions!

Not sure if I've shared this article with you but I like it a lot for the focusing on long-term goals.

Haha always a good book to read about whatever you're looking to learn.

Great job! Being tempted to play is normal. Watch this video on dealing with cravings:

A DUCK!? That's amazing.

We've got your back!

?Great book! I'd also recommend The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion, The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida and No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. Lol.

Great article! Can't wait to read his book. I'm very familiar with the pros/cons of the "PUA" community. I think there's a lot of truth mixed in everywhere. From my experience having met thousands of guys in the "PUA" community, I've found the vast majority of them are really just nice guys who want to treat women well who desire to have more control over that side of their life. They have been rejected/friendzoned growing up (the power dynamics between girls and boys in mid-teen years is quite substantial), and after so many years (a certain % will just "check out" and play video games instead...) what happens is they realize they are either going to end up alone or they are going to have to settle for the "one" girl who seems to like them. So they start looking for answers and, at least when The Game was written back in 2000, there were very few answers out there aside from relationship advice from women (lol) or the PUA community. Combine the PUA advice (analytical & structured for a group of guys who tend to be analytical thinkers) with the community (band of brothers) and it's easy to see why it was so popular. As a bonus, you have a society who says this community is bad... which only hardens them together (you see the same thing with society's shaming of the gaming community). The problem was what these guys wanted: meaningful authentic connections with women wasn't what the advice taught. The advice was very much centered around quick gimmicks that got attention (imagine never having attention from women and then going to a bar with a funny hat on and getting A LOT of attention). You can say "external validation"... so what happens is they continue to chase that (no different than gaming and how it warps you to chase instant gratification), and over time they have some degree of "success"... but very few get what they are looking for, and now they are also oddly socially uncalibrated. But the truth is... they are good guys trying to do good in the world, but the advice they receive puts them down the wrong path. Fortunately nowadays you have a lot more quality information for guys like this (Tynan, The Art of Charm, Zan Perrion's book The Alabaster Girl, Mark Manson's book Models, my friends at Charisma on Command amongst many others.)

Have a great recess! I made these two videos this summer that I think can apply to you if you haven't seen them: - What To Do During Your Summer Break Instead Of Gaming - How To Make Your Summer Break Awesome

This will definitely be happening.

Happy you're enjoying podcasts!

?This is all about being the change you want to see in the world. I'm the same "a little bit friendlier than the normal person" type and people's reactions are so great when you catch them off guard.

?I think this is a topic/video I should do (so many gamers have this problem lol...) but it's not a problem I specifically had. If I was going to cover it, what would the key points be from your gamer perspective?

Hey Trevor! Great to have you join us here. You signing up made my day. Seriously!

It will get easier! Try to get out of the house as much as possible - it will help a lot.

?It's hard to know exactly but the general rule of thumb is that depending on the extent of your gaming, 90 days is a good amount of time for your brain and body to detox back to normal dopamine sensitivity levels, and in doing so it will have a positive affect on your ability to enjoy "normal" (non-gaming) activities and you should see a boost to your willpower as well, amongst other positive changes (more energy, stability in your emotions, etc..) For some it will take more than 90, some it will take less. But 90 is a good gauge to focus on. But you are correct that within this time period you shouldn't be hard on yourself. And really ever, because being hard on yourself creates discouragement, guilt and shame and lowers your self-esteem, which in turn decreases motivation and the negative spiral ensues. So instead what I've found is understanding the difference between "being hard on myself" and holding myself accountable is important (listen to this podcast for more on that) and also to celebrate the small wins (acknowledge and recognize yourself when you are doing the right things, no matter how small, because this is what will build self-esteem, create positive emotions and associations and boost motivation), creating a positive feedback loop (watch this video for more on that).

That's awesome! Way to go man, super proud of you. And the best part is... this is only the beginning. Imagine as you continue your new approach to life over the next year, two years, three years how much of a continued improvement it will be. And all you have to do is continue the small actions that are contributing to your success right now.

Great to talk to you my man!

Hey Alex! Great to see your journal up here. Although you can't control what you did before and the "success" or lack thereof you had, your results were a direct result of your actions, so if you change your actions (with your newfound knowledge and community to support you), your results can also change. It's important to not compare ourselves now to "versions" of ourselves in the past... because things have changed in some ways too! Instead, focus on what you know will provide results over time: the right (small) actions taken day after day, your habits. I'd recommend reading The Power of Habit as soon as you can. It will help a lot.

Woohoo! Another journal to read.

Hey Alex! Great to have you join us here.