Cam Adair

Yes, this is very common. So here's the truth, and you might not like it: - You're looking to your mom for validation that what you're doing is right. That's not your moms job. You need to start making your own decisions based on what you believe is right for you. You're an adult, and you get to make decisions because of that. - Your mom loves you, and her job is to keep you safe. That's why if you were to tell her you wanted to start your own business she'd have a really hard time with it, but it's not because she doesn't believe in you, it's because her job is to keep you safe and the safest bet is always the traditional route. - You need to be incredibly diligent with your environment. Your environment affects you a lot more than you affect your environment. I would highly encourage you to start creating a plan to move out and get your own place (or one with roommates) as soon as possible. So ya, getting a job asap might be part of that. Going to school part-time while you work as well. That sort of thing. - Share your goals and ambitions with people who you know are on the same path (ie: here), where you will get encouragement and then DON'T share that shit with anybody else. Keep it to yourself, you don't need their projections and opinions weighing you down. Ultimately, the truth is, the only advice you should be taking from people is advice from people doing what you want to do... living the life you want to live. Now, at the end of the day, your mom loves you so cut her some slack, but I think this has more to do with you stepping up to let your actions speak louder than your words, you creating a plan to live the life you want and then going out there to work hard for it, instead of hoping and wishing for it to magically happen on its own. If you want her to take your ideas more seriously, prove it. Go make it happen and let that speak for itself. When I moved to Boulder, CO my uncle told me it was a big mistake. He was wrong but that's what he thought at the time. I knew in my heart it was the right decision so although I respected his opinion, I knew I was going to prove it wrong. And I did, and a year or so later he called me up and apologized and said he was wrong. Now, it doesn't fucking matter who's right or wrong, that's not the point, the point is, you have to stay true to you, and make decisions for you, and live with them, good or bad. Right now, because of the situation you're in, you're living with your mom. So make the most of it, don't talk about goals and ambitions with her, focus on other topics to maintain a positive relationship, and take more action to change your situation to be what you want it to be. How much $ would it take for you to support yourself in your own apartment? What if you got a roommate? What are your bills every month? What job could you get now that would help you start moving in that direction? (You can always upgrade your job later.) Etc. Build the plan, write those numbers out, find meetups of the type of people you want to be surrounded by, and go make it happen. Nobody's going to do it for you. With Love, - Cam

The key with any book is to take it with a grain of salt - take what you can and leave the rest.

Yes! Abundance mentality all the way

Yes, and remember, most of the time you will have neutral rapport, just make sure it doesn't fall into monotone.

Love the Dan Carlin episode. Do you listen to Hardcore History or Common Sense (his podcasts) at all?

Being busy is great! I love being busy. It keeps me sharp. How could this break from choir be a blessing in your life? How could you make the most of it? Could it open an opportunity for you to connect with another group on another day? I always find it's good to work through some of the positives that this sort of circumstance can bring.

Downloaded and listening, thanks for letting me know. You appear to be in contact with many people! Haha yes. I've worked hard to connect with awesome people over the years.

Awesome to hear your update. Upping your household hygiene game is good. I like to say the state of your room is the state of your mind. So your external environment can tell you a lot about how you feel internally. AND it has an impact on how you feel internally.

Think of Breaking Rapport more as a way to assert yourself and show confidence in what you're saying vs. Seeking Rapport which comes off as insecure. And all of this is interpreted subconsciously so it's very important stuff. If you listen to the end of Donald Trumps' new radio ad (Ad #2), you'll hear him say he approves this message but with Breaking Rapport. Very important here.

Happy to hear you're enjoying the book and that your days are improving! It's one of my favorite books for a reason.

Yes! Imagine a few months ago where you would have gotten super stressed out about the traffic on the highway... even though you had NO CONTROL over it. So what's all the stress going to accomplish? nothing.

Let things evolve and build over time. Stay true to your heart.

A schedule is just an outline, even when you have things pop up that's ok, it's just about adapting to them when they come. You could also have time you have scheduled off to yourself and then have time you are available for others. The thing is, you are able to find a lot of time for other things - 270 minutes in movies today - so it's all about where you are putting your priorities. IMO, getting out of the house first thing in the morning is crucial to get your momentum going. When you're at home you're comfortable, and you easily justify laying around doing nothing. I do the same when I'm at home, so I put a lot of effort into not being at home.

Take some time to rest man, that's all good. Staying healthy and not getting sick (having to take a week off to recover) is more important than doing the challenge every single day. The key is just to keep going and get back on track as your momentum slows due to random circumstances you have to prioritize sometimes.

You get to define what success means to you. Live on your own terms, not someone else's. Success imo is doing what you love and loving what you do.

Great job! Happy you are enjoying Waking Up and the Art of Charm. Did you know I have an episode as well?

Welcome Barnes!

Can't wait to hear how karaoke goes! Just remember to have fun and enjoy it. Don't take life so seriously!

I wouldn't say I particularly enjoyed it during the 3 years to be honest, it was more I just didn't have any other ideas of how to meet people and going to the clubs was just what I did. It was one way to learn social skills but the thing is, the club is the most extreme social environment (loud music, drunk people, etc) so I wouldn't even say it was the best way to learn social skills because the environment creates a specific kind of interaction and behavior, so a lot of what you learn has to be gimmicky to play in that arena, which basically only applies at a club and not in 99% of actual social interaction.

I'm similar to Jay. It's not that gaming is bad, but I have different priorities. If I was still gaming over the past few years instead of moving on, I wouldn't have traveled to 22 countries, started my own business (which gives me a lot of freedom and flexibility, instead of having to work a normal job), I wouldn't have shared my story on TEDx, Game Quitters wouldn't exist, I wouldn't have lived in Los Angeles or Colorado, gone surfing in Bali, California and Panama, met a woman I fell in love with in Vancouver, etc etc. For me it's similar to what you said, I had tried gaming, I spent 10+ years putting all of my efforts into it, and it was fun and all that but at the end of the day, after 10+ years of gaming, I had played some games and had some fun killing bosses, but I still felt depressed, had very few friends, was unemployed living in my parents basement and didn't have a girlfriend. So 10+ years of gaming got me those results. So were those the results I really wanted? NO. So I tried a different path, one without gaming and instead focused my efforts on personal development and I'm in year 6 of that... and my results are much different. Are they the results I wanted? YES. And I'm still learning and growing.

Happy you're enjoying The Slight Edge - it's one of my favorites.

Thanks for taking the time man.

All very positive steps. The key is to learn about yourself and find what works best for you. Excited to hear how this new approach goes for you.

The sober life is the life for me!

Definitely agree with all of that. So if we wanted to reach more of Group 1, any ideas for how we could do it?