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It's been a week since my last post,     A week has passed since my last post, yesterday I played for a few hours and because of that I only slept for 5 hours.   I feel bad, but I don't look into this feeling.   Tired again.   I played because I'm stressed the next day at work, whether I'll do everything right, whether the tasks I had planned but didn't do will cause me problems.   I also played so I wouldn't feel lonely because I could talk to my friends.   I have huge problems concentrating, it took me about 30 minutes to write this short post. I need to bring back my inner voice, it was silenced some time ago.   I'm starting to add more things to my action plan again and it's already become too much. I need to update my priorities. 1. Sleep well 2. Stop browsing YouTube, Twitch, Facebook (unless for a specific purpose) 3. Exercise 4. Limit listening to music - don't listen to it when you need to concentrate (or listen to music that will help you focus), find time in complete silence, it's best to go outside in the evening and think. 5. Diet - better nutrition, no sweets and sweet drinks 6. Writing assignments on the board in my room. I don't know if it's too much, but that's all I would like to change in the near future, I'll see in a week if I have any chance of following these points.   If it doesn't work, don't change it, just remove the ones that cause me the most problems.   I'm starting to understand the impact writing about my problems has on my well-being.   Thank you all for being here!    

Welcome,  I'm so glad that you came to visit my journal and added something from yourself!   I'm just looking for that balance. Sometimes it is difficult for me to refuse something from someone who uses me, but I am slowly resisting. I find that I prefer to be nice to people who are nice to me. Before, I was nice to literally everyone.    

May 8 A few times now, being halfway through this book @Pochatok recommended me, I've wanted to go back and 'school' the community on my RPG(s), or at least assert things better. I remember 10+ years ago on another version when my 'separation of tasks' was 'good', and I mainly encouraged people who had some kind of vision already. I know that creating an image and trying to get people to follow that is ultimately not what I want. E.G., a few times I had to get my butt handed back to me while playing the game to remind me of the value in that; I went in too 'strong' at first. Some people still confused me back then, of course. One time, I didn't 'forthrightly' enough ask a cafe in the process of closing if I could borrow their can opener for my communal can of fish to share with two other teenagers, as an elderly lady who was listening told me afterward - perhaps on other days being of similar character to those who lament not being offered a young person's seat in exactly the right manner. Before I'd met those teenagers, I was an A-grade performer in offering up my seat on public transport. _________________ I remember the moment I received 'the best loot' I'd ever had on my online game early this year. I wasn't in the middle of anything pressing - in fact, I actually carelessly said out loud that 'I love you Jesus (this is the moment)' almost without any attachment. I knew that the odds were something like the equivalent of 300 hours' of the same gaming 'experience' (to use one word), but it probably felt the same as winning the lottery would. I would ask anyone, "Do you know the biggest relief? That nobody would really care about the first event. Because winning the lottery would surely be one of the worst things that could happen to me, I think." Sure, I told my Dad about it, because I wanted to convince him that I was unattached to the result of that gaming session, and that I would indeed be giving it up any week then-about - and I helped him understand that it was only 'worth' a very small fraction of a week's real-world salary - but mostly that I felt undeserving of that reward, because of how little fun I was having with other people when I got it. That's something I've just admitted to myself. _________________ Gratitude: ~ only getting rained on for 5 minutes whilst out ~ not letting myself become significantly angry - I still feel like I can't convince myself quickly enough verbally of what I think I already know about upsetting situations when alone, but there remains a success ~ today hasn't seemed to hinge on my planned workout's completion, probably because I beat a lot of discomfort on this morning's walk - might update with what I actually do, again ~ the friendliness in a new shop I visited this afternoon Happy Wednesday, ~ Matt  

Entry 07.05 (Written on 08.05) Day 586: No Useless Videos Day 583: Sticking to Food schedule Day 187: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 178: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well no matter how small -8 pomodoros -0.5 hr visualization in sun -1 hr run at the gym i used to work  1 Thing I could do better -Limit naps to half hour and see how it goes.

According to Adlerian psychology, it's just from interpersonal relationships, isn't it? Which one(s) do you think? 🫠 EDIT: Whilst that is almost exactly what I'd say to a friend (or comrade?) at moments of busy-mindedness (had they recommended me something to read that was changing their life positively and was half of the reason that I felt busy!), I'm sorry if that's too short or brief. This forum should have a more formal edge to it than instant-messaging or offline 'chit-chat'.  9 days, wicked!