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KevinV1990's Journal

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Posted

March 15, 2017

  • Today it is my sixth day of not playing videogames, and I have to say that it is easier than I thought. It al started with just challenging myself not to play videogames for one day, and look where I am now. Maybe weird to say, but I am kinda proud of myself. Had a busy day at work yesterday and when I got home, I was tempted to start playing again. Instead of starting up my Playstation 4, I decided to grab a book and started to read. After a short time the temptation was gone. I also decided to write about my addiction on my own website, and didn't only want to do that for myself, but also to help others with their videogame addiction.
  • It is my mom's birthday, and while I already bought here a present, I still needed to buy her a nice birthday card, so I went to the mall. To my big surprise a new food stall with Turkish food had been opened, and since I didn't have breakfast yet, I decided to grab a bite. On my way back, I went to the bookstore, and got myself a new book, as if I didn't have enough books already.
  • I am also still wondering if I should sell my whole Playstation collection. It is not even that I don't want to sell it, I just want to sell it for a good price. To do that it would probably be best if I would sell it to another person, since they will pay more for my stuff than gameshops will do. But selling it to people does also take more time, which will make the chance of relapsing bigger every day.
  • EDIT: So I decided to rearrange my shelves, so I won't see my game collection anymore, as soon as I wake up. Now I look at a bookshelf full of books (see the attached picture).
  • EDIT2: I decided that I won't give up gaming completely. I'd rather game with moderation, and I know that I'm able to do that. I am going to limit the amount of games that I'm allowed to buy though, and maybe also going to limit myself to only play in the weekends.

IMG_20170315_162116.jpg

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Posted (edited)

Nice job man! Good idea doing that to your shelf.

I too found that I had to substitute gaming with other hobbies to cater to my emotional/mental needs. I also found out that gaming catered to a LOT of needs I had. Some days I didn't feel like just reading. What hobbies do you have other than reading?

Edited by Schwing

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Posted

Nice job man! Good idea doing that to your shelf.

I too found that I had to substitute gaming with other hobbies to cater to my emotional/mental needs. I also found out that gaming catered to a LOT of needs I had. Some days I didn't feel like just reading. What hobbies do you have other than reading?

Thanks! Rearranging the shelf also was a good way to keep me busy.

Besides reading, I also really like to write, to do fitness, and watch movies.

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Posted

March 16, 2017

  • Today is my one week anniversary of not gaming. I've decided not to stop completely with gaming, but I want to limit myself by only playing during the weekends. If my gaming habit will get worse again, I will stop again for atleast a week. Call it a kind of detox. I only don't think that it will get worse again, because I am started to like my other hobbies way more now. We'll see how it will turn out :).
  • Another decision which I made to not relapse, is that I am not alowed to buy videogames for the next few months. This will be a hard thing to do for me, but I have to get through that buying habit, to take the next step in getting rid of my old gaming addiction.
  • Cam also really inspired me to try helping other people to get rid of their addiction. So I will start to write about my story on my Dutch site, and will offer my help to those who need it.
  • Nothing more to write right now. The weather is great today, so I am outside enjoying the weather.

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Posted

Gratz on one week!

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Posted (edited)

March 17, 2017

I am kinda annoyed right now. I know exactly what I have to do today and what needs to be done, but I just can't get myself to work on these things. That is the story of past few months to be honest. One day I am full of motivation and good ideas, and really want to get them done, but then the other day all the motivation seems to be gone. Well... atleast I don't have the urge to play videogames yet, so that is a good thing I guess. I just really want to find the motivation to work on my site and my creative writing course, since they both really would help me to keep moving forward. When I have these kind of days, I really am tempted to turn on my Playstation 4 again, still not doing what has to be done, but atleast I will have fun.

I decided that I am allowed to play videogames in the weekends, but I also made a commitment to myself that I first need to get my other things done, before being allowed to turn on the PS4 again. I'm probably going to workout in a few minutes, maybe I will have some more motivation after doing that.

 

Gratz on one week!

Thanks!

Edited by KevinV1990
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Posted (edited)

March 18, 2017

I really need to learn how to say no to people. Had big plans for today, wanted to write and wanted to work on a new project. I had to help my sister with moving out, but I was just hired to unload the truck and bring the heavy stuff to her appartment. Before I knew it, I had been there for a long time, doing stuff which I didn't have to do. I don't mind to help, but now I couldn't work on the things that I wanted to. Well, atleast I didn't play videogames today.

Edited by KevinV1990

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Posted

March 19, 2017

  • Time for another anniversary! Let's have a party everyday. This is my 10th day of not playing videogames. While I had the plan to just play for a bit this weekend, I didn't have the urge to do so. I am way too busy with making other plans, doing other things and starting new projects. It is a good thing that I am seeing that I don't really need games, to have a good time.
  • Yesterday I watched the movie Gantz: O, a movie which has very much elements of role playing games in it. The temptation of playing a game after that movie, should have been big, but I withstood the temptation without any problems. Easy thing to do when you are tired and the only thing you want to do, is going to sleep :P.
  • I decided to start a Dutch daily journal on this site too, and not because I don't want to write in English. I will keep on doing that, but if me writing in Dutch can help some more people, even if it is only one person, I think it is a good thing to do.
  • I just thought about that I am only allowed to play games in the weekends, so if I am not playing today, I have to wait another five days. 15 days without playing a videogame sounds hard, but hey, I did not have encountered any problems the past ten days, so maybe the next five days will be just as easy.

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Posted

March 20, 2017

  • 11th day of my gaming detox, and it gets kind of boring, but also confronting to see how easy I cope with it. Maybe I hoped that it would be more of a challenge, because it would have made sense to why I screwed up so much off my life so far. As it isn't very hard for me not to game, I really wonder why the f*** I didn't do this before. Ever since the 10th of March, I have done so many things, and I have made plans for now and for the future. I just hope that it is not too late.
  • Today I finished my homework for the Creative Writing course that I am following, which I wanted/needed to do yesterday. So I will have to come up with some consequences for me not finishing my homework, when I should have done it. If you have an idea, then please let me know :P.
  • In between the things that I need to do, I am watching a lot of motivational videos recently, as they really help me to get motivated for the important things.
  • Note to myself: I need to buy a schedule book, since I don't seem to pay attention to the app which I've installed on my phone.
  • Watched Skyfall yesterday for the first time. I know... why didn't I watched it before? The answer to that is quite easy to be honest: I hate the theme song, since I don't like Adele. But I have a question: Is there a real Bond girl in this movie? Naomie Harris and Bérénice Marlohe didn't really play a big part in the story, at least not as big as Eva Green and Olga Kurylenko did. But at the end of the movie I came up with another question: Was Judi Dench the real Bond girl/woman in this movie? Let me know what you think about it.
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Posted

Consequence? I tried attaching a rubber band to my wrist and smacking myself with it. Didn't help at all. The thing is you just have to maintain the balance in your life between two things. Work hard; play hard. If you didn't do something when you should have done it: who cares? Next time you are confronted with a similar situation remember what happened this time round and say "No I will do it!"

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Posted

March 22, 2017 (13 days without gaming)

  • Tomorrow I achieve another goal: Two weeks without playing a videogame. Time for another party! I wasn't planning on not playing videogames at all to be honest, wanted to play during the weekends, but I just don't feel like playing. There are other things which I want to do, and which need to be done. So why should I turn on my Playstation 4?
  • I got kind of irritated this morning. A little backstory: When I lost my job when the economic crisis just started (2009), I couldn't pay my health insurance anymore, so I build up a debt. Paid it off today, but because the government agency isn't doing their job right, it isn't over yet. I really want to send them an angry letter again, but I know that it wouldn't help, so I am not going to do that. I just hoped that I could leave that part of my history behind me after today. But no, it will take some more calls to do so.
  • Because I am quite irritated, I decided to make a list about the things, which make this day a good day.
    1. Received my paycheck today, which was higher than I expected.
    2. The weather outside is great.
    3. I went running today, and I just feel my overall condition getting better again.
  • Thinking about what needs to be the biggest priority in my life. I still want to write a book, which is one of the biggest dreams that I have. But I also want to write for my website, I want to create another website, I need to find a better job, and I want to finish my creative writing course. So many things I want and that I need to do, but which one is the biggest priority?
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Posted

March 26, 2017: 17 days without gaming

  • Finally! Spring has started, and the weather seems to get better every day.
  • I still don't feel any urges to start gaming again, even though I allowed myself to play games during the weekends. I rather write, or read books.
  • I do need to make some progress in finding a new job though. Even though I get to work more hours in the coming month, I really want to find something else. In the past, I really wanted to work in a gamestore or work at something game-related. It's weird how quickly I forgot about that. Now I would really like to work in a bookstore, at least until I write my own book, and become a bestselling author. ;)
  • There is only one problem, and that is that I'm sometimes lacking the energy to do stuff. Let's take yesterday: I started at working 5.30, and finished around 12.00. Enough time to do other stuff, but while I'm physically okay to do so, I am tired mentally. I really want to work on changing that, because I'm wasting time like this.
  • I am happy! :D
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Posted

Sometimes the good old solution of napping is all that's needed to charge yourself mentally again in the afternoon ;) (not after 15:00, 20 minutes tops)

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Posted

Sometimes the good old solution of napping is all that's needed to charge yourself mentally again in the afternoon ;) (not after 15:00, 20 minutes tops)

Thought about doing that, but I have a problem with it. I can't sleep/nap at daylight and I just want to do stuff during daytime, even though I sometimes don't even get to do that many things.

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Posted

March 28, 2017: 19 days without gaming

  • So it is the time of the year, where I get bored with my job again. For me that is a very dangerous thing, since I always have thoughts about quitting something instantly, when I get bored with it. I have had this feeling a couple of times already the past five years that I'm doing this job, but I don't quit a job anymore, until I have found something else. I think I just need a break again. I took a one-week vacation at the end of February, and am think about taking one week in May. That should be enough, until I have a three-week vacation at the end of July. Ultimately, I need to find another job. Or I could just write a bestseller book :D:P.
  • Because of this feeling, I'm not feeling very good today. In the past I would have already turned on a console, and I would have been playing until I had to go to bed. Now I don't have any urges to start gaming again, so that is a good thing. I just have the feeling, that I am not getting any further in life. I know that I will have to change that myself, but sometimes I just don't know where to start, and that is really demotivating. I'm sure that this feeling will change someday. But when? Didn't it take long enough already?
  • To get out of this depressing feelings, I have the need to write about the things which make me happy today.
    - The weather is great and the sun is shining.
    - Haven't had any urges to start gaming again.
    - Just ordered two Dutch books, which are must-reads, but which I've never read.
    - I've eaten a Milky Way Crispy Roll. Milky Way Crispy Rolls are yummy :D.
    - I have got some new ideas for new articles on my site.
  • The last line remembered me of something. I also got an idea for a new site, and I already came up with a domain name. Checked if it has been taken yet, and it hasn't, so there is a big chance that I will start a new website/community in the near future.
  • Happiness meter right now: 65%
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