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About seriousjay

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  • Birthday 08/10/1986

seriousjay's Activity

  1. seriousjay added a post in a topic My Journal - Alex   

    Alex I think it's a good idea to do the detox counter again. You've already accepted this as a relapse so having that there could work as a little bit of extra motivation. Human beings crave things to work towards so just having that there might be a good thing for you.
    Up to you though.
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  2. seriousjay added a post in a topic My Journal - Alex   

    It happens man. The most important thing was that you realized what was happening before it got completely out of control and took steps to stop it.
    The one big positive that you can take from this is that you experienced what a whole year without gaming is like, and when you went back to gaming, clearly it was something that you no longer felt should have any part of your life. You can move forward now knowing that for absolute certain.
    I would definitely recommend finding some new hobbies to explore. If you continue to work so hard without doing anything to take a breather, you're probably going to be tempted back to games again. Clearly this is something you don't want.
    Regardless, it's good that you posted about this! best wishes for you going forward!
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  3. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Hi guys, just a quick update since I missed it during the weekend. In short, last week wasn't any better than the previous week, but I think I've got a good handle on it right now. Yesterday turned out quite well so just looking to build off of that.
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  4. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Thanks for the encouragement guys, I think I've got somewhat of a handle on it. Just scaling things back a bit until I get my shit together.
    By the way, Onlysoul, I love your signature!
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  5. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    OK then..
    Last week was quite up and down. And things have started to quickly spiral out of control for me the last few days. I ordered chicken wings the last two days, and I've neglected my hygiene and haven't been to the gym since Friday. I think it's just been a combination of a bit of extra work at work and all those unfortunate things that happened to me recently. I'm removing doing the Success Triggers course for the immediate future, and just going to focus on getting back to my good habits that I've been working on the last couple of months.
    Here's to a much better week this week!
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  6. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Hi ha535065, thanks for sharing your thoughts!
    Yes, it is much better in my opinion to set smaller tasks, accomplish those and feel good about yourself for doing so than setting yourself up for failure by piling on a massive list and ending up not doing anything at all. As you've noted, you can easily build on your success to - one day - do more than you have been. For me, it's just a matter of the process that I have to go through because I haven't practiced these habits until recently. My entire life, I've been accustomed to doing things the easiest way possible, and now I am teaching myself how to do the things I need to do to get what I want out of life.
    As far as goal setting, in my opinion it is extremely important simply because it gives you something to work towards. It's so easy to feel lost and directionless if you don't have something you're working towards, and that in and of itself can be very demoralizing. I would start small - in your case, you seem like you've already set a couple of goals there. Now just follow through on them! Once you get into the habit of setting smaller goals and making them happen, you can start tackling larger and more complicated tasks, and feel confident that they will get done instead of being left on the back burner and creating mental baggage that you have to carry around.
    On that last note, it is very important to realize that tasks left undone are still creating a strain on you - a mental strain. It is so easy to always look back and think about the things you haven't done, and that can become an anchor when it comes to pushing yourself to do other things. If something feels like it's just too much to handle, there's a good chance that it is, and it would be best to make the conscious decision to leave it for later. Obviously this has to be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, but so far this has worked very well for me so hopefully it's something that can work for you!
    Lastly, as far as goals that don't get accomplished, it is always best to look on it as simply an area that needs to be improved upon rather than treating it like a failure. There is always something you can learn from not getting something done, and there is always something you can hang your hat on.. you just need to find it.
    Have a great day!
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  7. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Yet another update!
    So for the most part, the week was pretty good, albeit somewhat grueling. I'll start by saying that for the last two weeks, I did only 2 instead of 3 modules of Success Triggers. I don't see this as a failure however as previously I had been doing nothing at all. I see this as a building block towards getting more comfortable tackling these personal development exercises. The end goal I guess is that I want to figure out what to do with myself long term through the Earn1K course, so this is a good start. There are a few follow-ups from these modules that I haven't completely done yet, one of which I am not 100% comfortable in pursuing, but I will make it a goal to make sure I finish all of that by next week.
    The last couple of days however have been a bit rough. Essentially I've just been hit by a number of unfortunate events basically all at once. I learned that the government didn't receive my income tax payment. Long story short, I ended up paying my taxes to my dad's government account instead of mine so I have to deal with that.
    I also injured my hip or glute or something that has caused significant discomfort the last couple of days. Due to that, I didn't go to the gym today and I'm just going to take it a little slow for a bit and see how it progresses. If it gets any worse, I'm going to need to see the doctor about it.
    Lastly, I broke one of my molars, so I'm going to the dentist tomorrow to see what can be done about it. My hope is that he can repair it and all will be good.
    I also went to bed way too late the last 2 days.. nearly 2 AM. I "justified" it by saying I wanted to watch a couple of late baseball games but I ended up staying up nearly an hour after the games both days. So I will need to double down on my efforts to getting to bed on time this week.
    All in all it was a good week with a couple of rough patches, but I am confident that it will not hinder my progress at all.
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  8. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Time for an update!
    Things went pretty well this week overall, and for the most part I was able to accomplish all my new goals. I did run into a situation last night where I didn't go to bed on time nor did I brush my teeth before I did. I don't know if it was as a result of that, but I also felt really hesitant about going to the gym as well, but I managed to push myself to do it. I wouldn't call this a point to re-evaluate what I'm doing to see if I'm taking on too much, but it is something to keep in mind. I largely did what I wanted to do and that's all that really matters.
    Additionally, after going through one of the modules of Success Triggers, Ramit talked about the idea of creating a mindset of abundance instead of scarcity. The idea is that instead of completely cutting out something you want to get rid of that you actually like, just to accept that you really do like that one thing and allowing yourself one "cheat day" a week to indulge in whatever that thing is guilt free. I don't really want to completely adopt this idea, but I am allowing myself one day a week to have 2 coffees a day instead of just one - as long as it doesn't compromise what I'm trying to do otherwise. That day was yesterday.
    Speaking of Success Triggers, I am skipping out on doing the 3rd module today, but I made a conscious decision to do that because I did start to feel a slight bit of burnout due to having already worked 4 days in a row with another 5 ahead of me, so I just want to pace myself and not end up taking on too much at once.
    Aside from that, not much else to say!
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  9. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Another week, another good step in the right direction!
    For the most part, I pretty much stuck to everything that I wanted to accomplish. I've also been evaluating how I've done for the whole month and, barring a couple of spicy situations, I've done really, really good. Every week I fulfilled my commitment to the gym. and for the most part I've been eating very well. I'm actually quite excited to see what the results are next time we take some measurements!
    For the last week specifically, I have officially discovered that I simply cannot reward myself with any candy or something similar. I simply lack the self control at this time to only consume it in moderation, so that is something to be avoided at all costs. To be honest, that's probably a really bad way to "reward" yourself anyways, as it has no nutritional benefit whatsoever while being very high in calories due to all the sugar. I also ended up buying this special kind of pizza when I went to the grocery store, and while in terms of value, it is excellent, I did end up devouring it in like 3 days when it probably could have lasted a week. For now, I'm going to need to rigorously stick to my eating plan and not deviate too far from it.
    One way I've discovered that I probably can reward myself with food is buying these spicy pepperette things. They are very high in sodium, but I am able to only eat 2-3 at a time, and I really enjoy them, so that is definitely something that might work. Over time, I will need to remove such things from my diet, but for now at least, as long as I can control how much of it I can consume, I think I can allow myself that.
    The other thing I was thinking about to reward myself with is going to this one restaurant called Gate of India. Indian cuisine is honestly one of my favourite and they have a few dishes there that I really like. It *should* be reasonably healthy to eat there, even if I eat too much, and it isn't too expensive. There's also enough of a barrier to actually get there that there is very little danger of me binging on something like that as well, so that is an option. The idea would be to allow myself to go there at the end of the month, provided I did really well in fulfilling my commitments. It won't be this month, but something to think about for June.
    Now, as I mentioned previously, I did some thinking about stuff to add in terms of things I want to be doing and I've come up with the following:
    Personal Hygiene
    Unfortunately my personal hygiene in some respects isn't the greatest. I don't shave, trim my nails or brush my teeth consistently. My goal for every week going forward will be to shave and trim my nails at least once a week, and brush my teeth at least once a day for starters. The reason why I want to do this should be fairly obvious so I won't go too deeply into that. I think the reason these things aren't a habit for me at this time is simply because I didn't care enough about my appearance. I still kind of don't, but I think as my body begins to look better from the training, I will value my appearance a lot more. Afterall, there's little sense in having a great figure if you otherwise look like a medieval times thug!
    In short, I consume too much of this in my opinion. I drink 2 cups a day, which isn't really THAT much, but I want to cut back on it because the way I get it is rather unhealthy (280 cals per cup), and it would save me about $40/month if I went down to one a day. I don't really *need* it to function, and quite honestly I don't believe anyone really does (a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast should be enough honestly..), so that's something to do as well.
    I'm doing very well in getting to bed on time (about 10:00 PM) on weekdays, but I am horrible about it on weekends and days where I am not working the following day. I want to be in bed at the same time each and every day in order to make sure I don't have trouble falling asleep when I really need to go to bed, as well as to make sure that consistency in sleep is there so I don't have situations of varying amounts of energy each day. The time I want to be in bed by is no later than 10:30 PM, and I want to be waking up at 6:00 AM daily at the latest.
    Success Triggers Course
    Previously I had tried to incorporate the Earn1K course into my routine and I quickly realized it wasn't going to work. I think part of the reason for that is the Earn1K course requires a long term commitment to spending a substantial amount of time in the week to it, and I think I was just really uncomfortable and scared about that. The Success Triggers course doesn't have such a commitment, and it will still accomplish certain things in terms of personal development. It won't *directly* affect my career path, but it will certainly help with my mindset and hopefully also prepare me better for tackling other things like this that have a higher degree of commitment.
    So, I want to be doing one module of the course 3 times a week. The reason I chose 3 times a week is because I pretty much have 3 days during the week with nothing going on, so I should be OK adding something to those days. I have learned from previous experience that trying to do too much in one day leads to burnout for me, so I'd like to avoid that.
    In summary, my new commitments for June:
    - on Sundays, trim nails and shave
    - brush teeth before bed every day
    - be in bed by 10:30 PM
    - have only one coffee a day
    - complete one module (and all follow up work) of Success Triggers 3 times a week
    As before, if I start to feel like I'm burning out and heading back towards how things were before, I will attempt to figure out what's causing that and remove it from my routine. As I mentioned previously, this whole process is going to require a certain amount of time to get it done right and I don't want to compromise my progress. I just have to take the slow and steady approach and constantly push in the right direction, and I know that will take me to where I want to go.
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  10. seriousjay added a post in a topic My Journal - Alex   

    Good luck man I think you're on the right track just keep it going!
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  11. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Right, my post for this week, I almost forgot as I was so busy yesterday!
    Yes you're absolutely right, as I learned on Wednesday I suppose. I went to a restaurant (not fast food technically) and justified it by telling myself it's a reward for the progress I had made thus far. To be honest, I didn't really even want to go to begin with so I made up my mind that I wanted to use this experience to see how I'd feel after once more eating how I used to eat. It wasn't a very pleasant experience. I didn't particularly enjoy the food, and I felt like crap immediately after and the day after as well. I don't know if going there added to this issue but yesterday nearing the end of my workout at the gym, I saw a commercial for some new items at another restaurant and immediately thought to myself that I wanted to try it, although I knew it would be a bad idea. I didn't end up getting that particular food, but I did eat my whole sandwich from Subway instead of half of it as I normally would when I got to my mom's house. Ultimately though I think the reason for that was more because I just tried to do way too much in one day yesterday (I was busy almost literally the whole day!).
    Despite all that I still think it was a very successful week. For the most part I stuck to all the things I wanted to do and I still feel good about all of it. Next week is coming up the day that I wanted to see about making more changes so over the next week I'm going to be thinking about what to do for that. I have a few ideas already and I'm going to spend some time ironing it all out to see what makes sense.
    I honestly don't have much of anything else to add so looking forward to another good week!
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  12. seriousjay added a post in a topic My Journal - Alex   

    There are people that will tell you this is simply the price to pay for success. It's up to you to decide if what you're doing is important enough to make it worth those sacrifices.
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  13. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    Another week, another round of decent progress I'd say.
    It wasn't terribly eventful - I pretty much completely stuck to what I wanted to be doing - although I did find myself starting to lose my excitement for it a little bit. For example, a couple of times when I went to the gym, I didn't really feel much like being there. I still stuck with it and grinded out my sessions though, so that was good.
    I also totally avoided all the fast food I've been trying to avoid, save for a carton of jelly beans. I justified buying it as a "reward" for the good progress I had made, and promptly went through the entire 550 gram carton in about 4 days. That equated to about 100 extra grams of sugar per day - insanity, honestly. More than that, one day I ate a particularly large amount and started to get those cravings for more food. I managed to stop myself from completely gorging out though, and have thus decided that I won't be rewarding myself with any type of junk food from now on. It doesn't seem like a very productive reward anyways.
    Curiously, I have also started to bite and peel off my nails again, and have been doing so mostly without even thinking about it. What's interesting is that I had completely stopped doing this for at least a good year or so. I'm not really sure what triggered this, and I'm not even sure if it's really all that relevant. Just something to keep in mind and to try to stop myself from doing once I notice it.
    Lastly, there were some moments when I was feeling really good about myself and started having thoughts of accelerating this process a little bit by adding more stuff to do, but a couple of events brought me back down to earth - namely, the jelly beans and the lack of motivation at the gym. I started thinking that waiting until May 26th to re-evaluate myself was too long, and now I'm thinking that maybe it isn't long enough. I think I'll just stick with the plan for now and keep doing what I've been trying to do - just repeat the things I'm doing enough times so they become instinctual habits that I never really have to think about doing, I just do them. I think I'm still on track for the major ones - going to the gym 4 times a week, staying away from fast food and keeping up with my financial habits.
    On the gaming front, I've been playing about 2-3 hours a night and a lot more than that during the weekends. I'm not sure that noting this is terribly important at this time but I thought I'd put it here. I don't feel bad about it at all mainly because I've made the conscious decision that I will not be tackling the gaming thing until I've got those other good habits really rock solid. To be honest, I really don't know how long that's going to take, but I know now that I can't rush this process and it simply just has to run its course.
    I guess that's all for now!
    EDIT: On a very positive note, I'm starting to see some noticeable changes in my body since I started going to the gym! My belly has reduced in size a decent amount, and my pants are starting to be more loose as well. Looking forward to good times ahead when I don't have to feel so ashamed of how I look! I guess I don't really now - it is what it is and I just have to deal with it - but it'll be so much better when I LOOK GREAT!
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  14. seriousjay added a post in a topic Jay's Epic Journey   

    OK another weekend update!
    It's been a very much up-and-down week. On Monday morning I was very sick and didn't think I'd even make it to work but I did and despite being sick all week, I only took one day off. There were days though, particularly yesterday where I was just feeling really bad..
    This morning though, when I got up I was feeling so bad and started wondering if all this really is worth it. I honestly haven't seen a great deal of improvement in any area of my life since I started this about a month ago, and it's a little deflating. I realize that what you get is proportional to what you put in, and I have started noticing very slight improvements in my body, I just wish there was more. I know what I'm doing will get me to where I want to be though so I suppose it's just about continuing to push through it.
    On a positive note, I managed to stick to the things I wanted to do and (so far) haven't gotten any fast food (beyond what I've been allowing myself as part of my transition to making my own food), and I haven't skipped a gym session. I was planning on going to the gym today but I've decided to take the rest of the day to relax, so I'll go tomorrow.
    I also finally bought a computer chair! It was a little pricey but I figure you only buy one of these every blue moon so I might as well get a good one. I do have 30 days to return it if I end up not liking it, and admittedly so far it's not perfect, so we'll see how it goes.
    I also am observing that I either need to stop playing Hearthstone completely or find a way to tone down how much I play when I do. A few times already I've stayed up way longer than I would have liked playing that game. I don't know if it's because I enjoy it or it's that addicting or what.. but it is definitely interfering with real life beyond what I can tolerate so something definitely needs to be done about it. I don't really find this with any other game I play, just Hearthstone.
    Anyways, not much else to say! Time to enjoy the rest of the weekend.
    EDIT: As an added note, I've found that it was a very positive decision a couple of weeks ago to scale back what I've been trying to accomplish. At the time I really felt I was pushing beyond my limit, but since then I've largely been able to maintain my goals. I've set May 26th as the date that I will re-evaluate where I'm at and see about adding some extra tasks to accomplish throughout the week.
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  15. seriousjay added a post in a topic Tom's journal   

    Quite honestly it seems to me more like he isn't there by choice.
    Tom, do you *really* want to be in school studying what you're going there for? You have to remember that it doesn't end when school is over - after that, you have to go out into the field and do the work. If you absolutely despise what you're studying, you need to strongly consider going in a different direction. If you have no idea what that could be, I recommend you keep doing your best at school until you find something you're passionate about and want to pursue as a career. Just make sure when you do that it is something that you can make enough money off of.
    I suppose it's also possible that these feelings you're having are just temporary because of how lousy you feel about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, you then start to get miserable about everything else. It is critically important that you find a way to love yourself again. You have to really believe that you deserve everything good that comes your way. I get the sense that your state of mind is pretty much the exact opposite of this. I was like this once and I hated every minute of it honestly..
    Let me know what you think of this and I'll see if I can try to give you some advice on how to deal with it, if it is indeed how you're feeling. And of course if you're willing to take some advice on it.
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