Firewithin89

I get those same kind of feelings also, especially at the end of the day realizing i didn’t accomplish what I told myself I would accomplish for that day. I would have so much anger towards myself to the point of not trusting myself. I am starting to be able to control my gaming more. I am very still addicted, but nothing like I was even just a month ago.

Good morning everyone. I am fixing to go into work. I ask that you please send good vibes and prayers my way because this will be the first job I have had since I quit my job of 5 years basically due to my gaming addiction.

Thanks so much

I am not going to retell the story of how I got here, but you can find it in my introduction part. This is day one of my journaling. I used to journal a lot before my addiction started. I am hoping I can journal here everyday no matter how bad or how good the day will be. My grammar and punctuation is going to be quite off because to be honest I don't care about any of that right now. My goal is to eventually start the 90 day detox because I know my mind, soul, and body need this. I am not ready to do it yet though. I love Pubg too much and the thought of letting it go is hard to grasp, even though I know i need to do it, even if it is for a little while. I start a new job tomorrow and I am scared. I haven't started a new job since my addiction, only quit a job because my addiction. I know this is going to be good for me though. I have to do it either way.

yes, i did turn to video games i know without a doubt because of my marriage and I have been to a mental health professional a few times this past year. I didn't come on here to talk about my marriage though to be honest, I came here because I needed a place to feel comfortable and to get help with my gaming addiction. I had marriage problems before the games, but I didn't have any mental health issues until i became addicted to these games. I had a social life before, I have a wonderful support system as far as people that are here for me in my real life, but I don't feel comfortable talking with them about this addiction because they wouldn't understand it.

To answer your question about trauma in my life.. no, I thankfully haven’t had anything serious happen to me other than I’m going through a marriage separation right now. We have been married for almost 10 years. I won’t blame games on this separation, but I will say i my marriage is probably the reason I kept coming back because yes I felt lonely in my marriage.

Thank you so much, Matt. I am planning on starting my journal tonight before bed.

Good luck and I look forward to reading more about your journey. I am new here. I am so addicted, but I am scared to give up this addiction just yet. I hope I am brave enough to do it soon before more destruction happens in my life.

My name is Laura and I am 30 years old. I have been a member on here for a month or two, but I am just now feeling courageous enough to tell you about my story. My story did not start at a young age. Although I played video games some on play station and computer, I never had a problem with stopping to live out my life and I always was pretty focused on my goals and dreams in life. Before my addiction, I loved the person I was. I was very active, I was a runner and ran around 30 miles a week. I loved the outdoors, I loved being around people, I loved working and achieving goals daily. My addiction began in December of 2018. Yes, I have only been addicted for a little over a year, but this addiction has brought so much destruction in my life that it is overwhelming sometimes to even think about. The first game I came across in December of 2018 was not really a game, but more of a virtual world called " Avakin Life" I honestly don't know why I even downloaded the game, I was just curious about the virtual interaction, but little did I know, this would become very toxic and ultimately I quit a job of 5 years that I loved because of this game, I think that has to be the worst mistake I have ever made and I don't know if i will ever forgive myself for it. The next game I downloaded was "Imvu". It is similar to "Avakin Life", but it is more graphic and explicit. This kind of led into something else that I don't feel comfortable discussing on here, but for the most part, I am not addicted to those games anymore. The game that I can say I am fully addicted to is "PUBG", there have been weeks that I have played it for 80 hours. I feel like this game has control of me. I dream of this game. Its the first thing I think about when I wake up. This is scary. What is the most scary is my mental health right now. I could probably write a book about what all this addiction has cost my life. I can sit here and say that I am at the worst place I have ever been in in my entire life and I know for a fact it is because of this addiction. I have ruined my relationships, jobs, my health, my mind. I have lost so much because of this addiction. I also find I am addicted to the social interaction of video gaming. I put my gaming relationships first before the people in my real life and 9 times out of 10 my social relationships on games ends very badly. I want to stop gaming, but my addiction is so severe that I don't know how I will ever overcome this to be honest. I am very thankful I found this group though because no one in my life really knows all of this happened because of my addiction, my family thinks it is my mental health.