November 2, Sunday morning:
At times when I'm not sure what I should be doing (and when I don't even have the heart to try an electronic game or two), I think of a few concepts - appreciation of boredom, development or maintenance of distress tolerance, and changing or removing habits.
Again, if I've already made active changes to my routine or habits, it hasn't seemed very conscious - probably due to having my mind on 'just one more' game target.
One notion I sometimes think about, prompted or not, is of 'the fight', or having obstacles or indeed, enemies that must be surmounted by either focus, speed or force - not simply doing what one can when the right thought 'floats by' (selected as though a leaf from atop of a stream, as it has been phrased). That last is where I've been, whether because of sedation or mindfulness ('responding thoughtfully' instead of reacting).
But I am peace-loving, from early influence or the aided discovery of fiction-reading. It is only in the most deeply morose moments when I might truly and honestly say 'F that!' or 'Want to fight about it?' I have been taught that that displays a lack of intelligence - a deep sin in my circles, it seems. I'd have to feel lost - something that even the harshest critics I've read almost recommend, but skate over in haste to brand something else or as 'beneath' those who have a ready wit.
Well, I've managed not to turn too negative in those last two paragraphs, but make some kind of mental exercise of it. Consider mostly the first two, if staying on track.
Hope y'all enjoy the rest of the weekend. ~ Matt
Gratitude:
~ Since I called time on a week-long game activity, I've repeatedly slept a slick 10 hours - recovery?
~ Yet again, an anti-climactic game reward left me feeling hollow - it was, however cathartic to find that one online buddy skated past my expression of that feeling to him, his consideration unchanged there
~ I've been presenting myself with a relatively new choice between checking my logic/'gut' or simply waiting for an idea from another good enough to agree with and make an activity/day of - it is useful
~ The opportunity to relearn coordination of offline activities in silence and anticipation of sweet, sweet boredom
By
wheatbiscuit ·
