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    • hi! i am a recovering social-media-addict. last semester went.. pretty bad. i was stressed, overworked, studying and doing another project as well. for 2 weeks i was at uni from 9am-1am (i wish i was exaggerating) my project was done, but i was behind at uni. i didn't have the time to study, i actually had to skip lectures to focus on the project. i passed only 4 courses. i was terrible, mentally. i really thought i could do everything i spent hours upon hours scrolling.. to forget that i was failing now, i'm 13 days sober. hopeful it'll stay that way. ~ Trying To Become An Engineer
    • I'm using the template I used the last time. 30/6/25 - 1/8/25 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.   Books/Reading articles/Learning: L: Finished Parkinson's book and started "Getting to Yes", a book about negotiation rules and techniques. Read on Reddit about finance and English teaching again. T: I finished "Getting to Yes". It was a good read about negotiation techniques and finding win-win situations. I now started reading "Influence" by Cialdini, which is more about manipulation rather than negotiation. Read on Reddit about finance and English teaching again. Possible direction/goals: (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.   Family: L: We had two work sessions with my friend this month. I expect one more, but it'll really be the last cleanup session. I'd like to say that I am happy, relieved or in general something positive, but nothing really comes to mind. I'm just numb in this regard. Other than that, I only spent time with my mom during her spa stay.  T: I didn't see my family much this month, just at my brother's birthday party, though strictly speaking I'm visiting my parents and grandma together with my girlfriend over the weekend. Nothing new otherwise.  NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family. Possible direction/goals: Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma. Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.   Business/English: L: The work is still ongoing on some pricing changes, as well as on my website - pretty much the same. I also have a lot of my students on holidays, but I don't mind, as I can use the time for other projects. I haven't been bored so far and I'm catching up on other things.  T: Pretty much the same. I finished work on the texts last week. There are some minor tasks before the launch next week. Lessons are about 2/3 of the usual, which is a good amount to keep busy.  NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid. Past projects: Copied to a Google Doc to keep this less cluttered. Current projects I'm working on: Website improvement project - since August 2024 lecturer trainings - ENG business February-May 2025  55 minutes F2F lessons (+ online reminder too); pricing updates Areas to work on continually: English table update - check every now and then for improvements. Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week. Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students. CELTA colleagues calls. Go through "lecturer academy" + CELTA materials + lecturer course.   Exercise/Movement/Health: L: Overall, I managed to exercise in various ways 2x-3x per week this month. I also took part in two running races this month. I'm quite happy with the results, even though I was a bit slower on the 4 km this year 😄 2024: 4 km - 18:40 8 km - 45:17 2025: 4 km - 18:44 8 km - 42:00 T: Upped the exercise (cycling, running, hiking, weight training or swimming) to about 4x a week this month.  NOT: I don't want to become fat. Possible direction/goals:  Keep in shape by exercising at least twice a week for 30-60 minutes.   Social + personal hobbies + free time: L: Went to a few pub quizzes, went to the VR shooter with my friends, managed my finances well, won a table football tournament, went to the theater. Spent time with my girlfriend shopping, hiking, watching series and going to trips. T: Attended the FIRE meeting, met my high school mates at the cottage, met my friends at gun-range and other places. Managed to fix the window blinds by myself instead of calling the repair company. Watched the Bourne Trilogy, Tour de France and Severance.  --- For thought: Maybe I should just learn to plan better, though just the thought of having some hours of my day scheduled makes me cringe. Oddly enough, I don't get this feeling while planning lessons of my students, normally in bigger blocks. Maybe I should rethink that belief to make me happier. I've had this recurring thought every now and then that I am often somehow prevented from what I want to do in my free time; basically whenever I am not with students or sleeping. No, I just need to stop reading and learning all the time and start doing things. Imperfect action yields results. Information alone is useless. --- Plans for 2025 (check each month and color - red, orange, green): Family: I don't have any specific plans for my family, besides finishing my grandma's kitchen. I also don't have any plans of starting my own, although I've always said I'm ready after finishing the uni. The main thing for the success of that would be to manage time and money correctly. Career: The last year was successful business-wise. I got the confirmation for the new lecturer course running from February to May. The main goal is to get the website finished, so I want to actively cooperate with the other freelancers. I'm not going to set any arbitrary goals, except keeping my lesson work-hours around 20-25, and to managing the other admin stuff (preparation, mails, trainings) in another 10 hours. That makes the total of 30-35 hours worked a week. Friends, community: I am part of more friend groups and communities. I don't have any big plans in mind regarding this area of my life. I expect to naturally drift towards more libertarian, financially educated and entrepreneurial/self-employed communities. I find the most inspiring people there. Relaxation, hobbies, creativity: I intend on continuing the hobbies I currently do, including writing, working out or going to the shooting range. I also want to remain curious about things and keep on traveling to break out of the cycle to unwind completely sometimes. Maybe I'll get around to blogging again. I think the line between work and relaxation is blurry for me. Physical health, fitness: Again working out (and stretching) and flossing. I think my diet is OK. I might start tracking some indicators of body fitness, but I don't think I'm quite there yet. Mental health, self-knowledge: Avoid overwork and burnout. Keep hours on roughly 20 lessons + 10 hours of ancillary work a week. Keep on doing things that feel right. Keep on planning/marking down things in my calendar. --- Habits for 2025 (check each month and color - red, orange, green): Habits that define you: family - keep in touch with my family at least once a month girlfriend - make time to talk every day and keep on working on strengthening our relationship via common activities career - work on my education continually, learning something new every week, even in unstructured ways; sources: CELTA, meeting other English lecturers/teachers, reading on their websites, lecturer course coming up in February, working on the business side of my work friends/community habits - meet with my best friend a few times a month, meet with my friend groups a few times a month too relaxation, hobbies, creativity habits - shooting range, writing, traveling, blogging, reading, being curious fitness habits - stretch every day, work out/run twice a week; floss daily mental health habits - keep my hobbies, work and other activities in balance, try new things every now and then a better tomorrow habits - provide great added value back for the money of my students ---
    • Entry 31.7 Weeks until average life expectancy: 2767 (80th birthday) Day 197: No Useless Videos Day 1029: Sticking to Food schedule Day 632: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 10: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  - Morning jog - Writing an email regarding the exam results - 4 Pomodoros 1 Thing I could do better - Plan for more time in schedule for food, because I already know it will take more than I write currently, if I do it the way I do it now, from there I may start experimenting Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 199
    • early Friday morning: day 0 It seems inevitable; an eventual personal rage in the face of sheer failure to listen, understand and accept my position, that would lead to my full, financially and emotionally-unsupported exposure to 'the real world'. Yes, there is probably negativity bias at work, and case-in-point, acknowledging that truth feels good - but the 'issue' of me 'staying where I am' (literally and figuratively) couldn't be left well-enough alone by my Dad at dinner. People don't seem to understand that (only my?) self-control applies to considering both positive and negative outcomes. And never mind 'the journey', which I don't want to have right now/have already had plenty of in the first third of my life.  Gaming deadens one part of me, while abstinence deadens another. After being through relatively a lot, I don't want to compromise any part of the whole. People respect/understand the whole (as long as I don't mention the long-held standards of living that I shift aside to remain so). I don't know what to do but to follow my own process. The last few night's dreams were very realistic and telling, for me. Old friends/acquaintances, new places and skills - things I'm told to want but only really wish to entertain as long as I'm in said company. Maybe it's stupid to say, but my Dad really acts as though he's constantly losing at a frustrating computer game, and his life-force depends on nothing slipping by him, AND eventually winning. Did I imitate this? One would at some point think that even the slightest self-awareness/knowledge of the effect of frustration, on attempts to maintain social cohesion, would lead to some introspection/reigning in, but.. maybe not. I should live my own life, and hold onto what I've learned. Gratitude: ~ The restaurant that 3 of us revisited outdid itself well (should leave a glowing review) ~ Coming here basically first-thing to follow the process (gratitude, and vent some) ~ ^ After some talking last night, I need to hash out a professional diet plan, most likely - some discomfort (and maybe a ton) may be linked to minor food intolerances ~ Again, it used to be a joke, but is now deadly serious. Loving, not fighting. Forget ASPD.
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