alvayuso 13 Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 (edited) Hello fellas! My name is Álvaro and I am a 25 year old guy from Spain. As you can guess, I am here because I have a serious addiction to videogames. I remember I first touched a videogame with the Nintendo 64 when I was 5 or 6 and it clicked on me, since then I have never stopped gaming (apart from when I was 14 to 15 when I had a girlfriend, and I was so in love I left almost everything to be with her, but that is a different kind of problem, not to be discussed here). I am so used to have this addiction I cannot remember a time when I was not feeling urges of playing a videogame, really, it sounds fucked up but it is the reality, when I was a teenager I left many friends because I thought what we used to do was too boring (just hang out, speak about anything and maybe drink a coke), so I could spend some more time playing videogames. During some time I competed in an amateur team on a shooter, being always between the 4th and 3rd place of Spain (in esl.com), and after that I wanted to believe that, someday, I could earn a living from playing videogames, but the more time passes, the more I realize I was just having an addiction and that I have always been delusional on that topic (something I really had a hard time admitting). I have used videogames as a replacement for everything: escapism, social interaction, measurable sense of growth and a challenge, but it wasn't always that way, at the beginning it was just for escapism and for the challenge, but this addiction has grown until it has eaten almost everything of my life, (the remaining life I had was eaten by weed after I was 16 and overuse of porn after 19, so yea, you can say I literally dedicated my life to addictions). My therapist has shown me that I'm surely a person with obsessive traits and I feel it is kind of true, because when I found something I really liked (like videogames and weed) I just can't stop doing it, but I truly think I always had those addictions cause I did not know how to deal with my personal problems, and that was a fast reliever of the anxiety, finding myself right now (8 months of no weed and high reduction of porn usage) as a person with a lot of anxiety, that cannot stop biting its fingers and a feeling of an annoying pulsation on the left side of my head, which started 3 years ago, and with not much in life apart from videogames and the friends it brought me (I even had an anxiety attack like 5 years ago, due to risking too much my college education (cause I was constantly high and playing videogames, depressed). Apart from the lack of life in general, I accomplished being able to stop smoking weed, working out every week at least 4 times and eating healthier, but I have this videogame addiction and I am gonna aim to destroy it, since I am tired of feeling depressed, anxious and meaningless, plus I want to live a real life, acquire social skills, and in general step up above my last and worst addiction: gaming. Thanks everyone reading this, I know it is long but it was needed to frame my situation a little bit, hope we can help each other on this journey. I am going to start a diary in its section tomorrow, so this will be the prologue of it. Stay hard. Peace. Edited December 8, 2020 by alvayuso 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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