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Cardboard Coyote's Quit Journal


cardboardcoyote
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[Day 0]

Hi everyone,

 

I posted in the welcome thread a week or so ago, saying I want to quit multiplayer games (I particularly struggled with Overwatch). Well, I spent my first week of "no gaming" playing 25 hours of an open world single player game, which was a slippery slope back to Overwatch. I ended up deleting all my data from my switch (only gaming platform now) and plan to do the 90 day detox, with the hope that it becomes my new lifestyle to just not game and that I don't return to gaming when it is over.

 

I'm scared to go 90 days without gaming. It has been my solace and refuge in this uncertain time. But more than that it has been holding me back from achieving my dreams. I got my PhD last year and was pretty burned out after...had a tough break up last fall...and even though I'm still supporting myself, I'm just not going for what I truly want. I'm settling for the bare minimum of what's required of me career-wise. I want to reignite my passion for my area of study, and escape the pull of gaming to escape my anxieties.

 

Tomorrow will be my Day 1. I gamed earlier today, but as I said I have deleted all my data from my system. I will go pack it up now too--out of sight, out of mind. I look forward to posting here every day and embarking on this journey.

 

~CC

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25 minutes ago, cardboardcoyote said:

[Day 0]

Hi everyone,

 

I posted in the welcome thread a week or so ago, saying I want to quit multiplayer games (I particularly struggled with Overwatch). Well, I spent my first week of "no gaming" playing 25 hours of an open world single player game, which was a slippery slope back to Overwatch. I ended up deleting all my data from my switch (only gaming platform now) and plan to do the 90 day detox, with the hope that it becomes my new lifestyle to just not game and that I don't return to gaming when it is over.

 

I'm scared to go 90 days without gaming. It has been my solace and refuge in this uncertain time. But more than that it has been holding me back from achieving my dreams. I got my PhD last year and was pretty burned out after...had a tough break up last fall...and even though I'm still supporting myself, I'm just not going for what I truly want. I'm settling for the bare minimum of what's required of me career-wise. I want to reignite my passion for my area of study, and escape the pull of gaming to escape my anxieties.

 

Tomorrow will be my Day 1. I gamed earlier today, but as I said I have deleted all my data from my system. I will go pack it up now too--out of sight, out of mind. I look forward to posting here every day and embarking on this journey.

 

~CC

Welcome! I struggled with RuneScape and Overwatch real badly and also had severe burnout after getting my graduate degree while working full time and dealing with relationship issues so I know how you feel! Feel free to read parts of my diary or introduction if you ever feel like it. I also have a page in the celebration tab called Almost 500 Days Without Gaming where I wrote out how I was able to quit if you wanted. 

But no pressure. Just use the forums the way that's best for you. Journal your thoughts, ask for help, read other examples, and be patient and kind to yourself. You're going to be on quite the journey.

Good luck.

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  • 4 weeks later...

It's been about a month since I've checked in here. Wow! So I did end up digging out my switch and binge played games back at the end of June. I ended up getting so fed up I got rid of my gaming system entirely. I have been game free for about 3 weeks now.

 

I've been really enjoying life a lot more, and a lot of other things are falling into place. I find I have the energy and interest to work more, to take care of projects around the house, and to spend time socializing with people. This week, I'm working on getting my sleep schedule back on track, and I will continue to eat better and lose the weight I gained in quarantine. Overall, I'm really happy with where I am right now!

 

Strangely, I don't miss gaming. When my friends who are still hooked talk about games they're playing, I don't feel the urge to play. I just think to myself "I'm not a gamer anymore." And it feels good.

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On 7/19/2020 at 7:42 AM, cardboardcoyote said:

Strangely, I don't miss gaming. When my friends who are still hooked talk about games they're playing, I don't feel the urge to play. I just think to myself "I'm not a gamer anymore." And it feels good.

Sounds good to me. Glad you're at peace with letting games go.

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I'm really struggling to stay motivated right now. I am also dealing with binge eating and just feeling stuck with working out. Before the pandemic hit, I was playing ice hockey 2 time a week, lifting at the gym 3 times a week, and walking several miles a day (live in a big city and don't own a car). I do have stuff I can do now (running and kettlebell) but I have been really struggling! 

 

My cycle goes like this: binge eat, stay up all night, nap for 3 hours in the late morning/afternoon, feel like crap. 

 

I have been doing this a few times a week. This past week has been better, I only did it once. I know this is a gaming forum, but for me these behaviors are intertwined. I would include "gaming all night" into this pattern before, but since I cut off access to gaming I did successfully remove it from the pattern. I want to take a holistic approach to bettering myself, but I also have trouble seeing where the line is between "cutting out too much" and seeking a healthier lifestyle. 

 

I feel like so much of my energy is going towards just not engaging in negative behaviors right now that I'm not getting a whole lot done outside of this. I'm struggling! But instead of saying "f- it" today, I came here to write.

 

What are some achievable goals I can set for today?

1. Get off of all electronics at 10pm and read until sleepy.

2. Plan a healthy and filling lunch and dinner.

3. I will not go to the store to buy snacks/dessert.

4. Close computer and put phone on silent, and try to engage with them with intention.

5. Get some exercise in (already got a long walk in and I will do some stretches/exercises for my back).

 

I hope it's okay to use this forum to talk about some challenges I have that are related to gaming. I don't find myself struggling with wanting to game right now, but rather with not letting that desire to "escape" transfer to other problematic behaviors!

 

 

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