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Reza
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day 14 :

i woke up at 5 : 30 . i made breakfast for everyone 😀 . then started study almost at 6 :30 till 8: 30 . then i went for shopping for 30 min .at 9 i was a but tired i slept for 1:30 hours. i ate luch and spent time with family . after that i took a shower (and sadly broke the no fap , but its ok )then almost studied whole evening , finished all the chemestry book today . also i ordered a tablet  . now i dont have laptop or phone . i do my stuff with tablet . now just chilling . might study more maybe not . 👍

 

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quick update (and a reminder) :

tonight i went for a walk and a few things came into my mind 

1. i found out discipline in writing journal is the thing that makes me progress . so i commit to write my journal in exact time in day

2. when i am about to relapce or ruin my good progress i should always remember " why " u started this journal at the first place

3. my first goal was to "not be a loser anymore " but now i want to be " a winner " so i want to start working on other aspects in my life 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------

NEW WAY TO WRITE MY JOURNAL :

steady goals :

this part is for goals that either i started at the first place or goals that a accomplished . this is my main part of the journal . by breaking them i set punishment for myself

1. no gaming

2. no fap

3. keeping positive atitude

4. good sleeping routine

5. always do my prioruties 

 

goals to accomplish soon :

this part is for goals that make me improve even more . main purpose of this part is add it / them to my steady goals 

1. control my expenses : i don't control what i spend so i keep wasting tons of money mostly on drinks and internet and phone bills. i work on spending money wisely 

 

how was my day :

a short summeray of what i did at the day , when i woke uo ,  what did i do , what did i do good or what u did wrong and etc.

 

PS : this planning is combining my last ways of writing journal also i added some new stuff . 

 

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Day 15 :

check steady goals :

 

1. no gaming✔

2. no fap✔

3. keeping positive atitude✔

4. good sleeping routine✔(almost)

5. always do my prioruties✔

 

Check in progress goals :

1. control my expenses : today i managed to save some money that i normally waste

 

 

How was my day ?

Night before i had to help my sister with her child so i slept abit more untill 9:30 . I woke up studied abit then i went for shopping for house ( i asked them split some duties so i can help them). Evening i went out to get the tablet i ordered ( currently writing with it) . I had some paper work somewhere so it took a while . Now im back and resting to study some more at night. I was busy today so i didnt study as i should. But missions accomplished so im fine with it. Ill try to study at night

 

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Quick update : a while ago i made post about how I lost my intrests and I feel like a Soulless body . Now middle of Day 16 I am chilling and wating for lunch . I installed bunch of apps in my tablet to try it and see How they look and also Downloaded some movies. But surprisingly I Donot even enjoy them anymore(in a positive wayNot like before). I tried to watch a movie But I did not even like it. Now I like to spend time on stuff that actually helps like exercise or study. I see this as a huge improvement compare to me Two weeks ago . peace ✌

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well well Here go :

 Day 16:

 

1. no gaming✖

2. no fap✔

3. keeping positive atitude✔

4. good sleeping routine✔(

5. always do my prioruties✔

 

Check in progress goals :

1. control my expenses : it was ok . Just  one drink

 

new goal : minimize Drinking Sugar

 

How was my day?

I babysat my neice last night and I slept at 5,30 am set alarm for 9 with a Heavy metal music luckily That woke me up the I studied untill 1, 30 PM then late lunch and watched a movie for 2hours then I studied for Inour then I want hanging out withmy budd He invited me for league oflegends game. I didint go hard on myself and played I game took 30 min Personally I do not consider it as Relapace But thats a x inmy goads. beside this Part Idid good forest of theday. I still got time for the night Itry study some more

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Day 17 :

 

1. no gaming✔

2. no fap✔

3. keeping positive atitude✔

4. good sleeping routine✔

5. always do my prioruties ✔ and ✖

 

Check in progress goals :

1. control my expenses : it was ok . Just  one drink again today 

2. Minizing sugar : yea i fucked up today . Drinked like 3 glasses of sugar

 

how was my day ?

I slept at almost12. Had a good sleep and woke up at 9,40 I went and bought a new sim
card. then  I  wokrked with my Tablet and chilling. I was so exhausted . I Recieved 50 gb freei nternet so... yea Lam Downloading every thing I can, music ,  music and... . I had a big fukin temmpt to download game with that but i didnt thank god .Then i finished my chemistry book and hosetly i loved stiochiometry . Amazing subject . Then not much just chilling till now . Maybe i go out tonight , maybe study . Idk yet

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Day 18 :

had a pretty fucked up night . Morning was crazy too . Having headache all day . Just didnt do much . Migraine headaches are the worst . I ll make it up tommorow

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Day 19

this is embaresing me to tell i fucked up today again and its not even my fault. Only people with migraine know what pain ive been thru . Migrain headaches usually last between 4 - 72 hours . Mine just got better like 2 3 hours ago i had it since yesterday . I had a massive fukin argure with my mom and made my day even worst . I am a bit better now i try to study if i could . I had a really amazing routine i think i fucked it up

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13 hours ago, Reza said:

Day 19

this is embaresing me to tell i fucked up today again and its not even my fault. Only people with migraine know what pain ive been thru . Migrain headaches usually last between 4 - 72 hours . Mine just got better like 2 3 hours ago i had it since yesterday . I had a massive fukin argure with my mom and made my day even worst . I am a bit better now i try to study if i could . I had a really amazing routine i think i fucked it up

Make sure to sleep, eat, drink water, and find calmness during this time. Medicine too and avoid bright lights. 

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Quick update : i have really bad eating habits . My mom usualy cooks seperate food for me , today she asked me what do u want for lunch i said you know what , i eat everything you eat today . Food made of onion witch i hate the most . I said fuck it and fulled each spoon with onion 🤣 that was so hard but made me happy . This shoud have been done long time ago . I slowly start eating everything i hate

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Day 20 ( wow made it 20 ✌😆) :

 

 no gaming✔ i lost like 80% of my intrests in games . I love it

2. no fap ✖ meh , i need it sometimes 😆

3. keeping positive atitude✔

4. good sleeping routine✔ i did a pretty good job here i slept at 3 but i woke up af 7

5. always do my prioruties ✔ and ✖

 

Check in progress goals :

1. control my expenses  : i have no idea how my money just disaperard . Im gonna write them down

2. Sugar : ah thats a tough one

 

how was my day ?

 

Woke up at 7 although i slept pretty late . I started study right away . Morning i started my workouts really really light it was good . Evening i watched a movie then i went for help to carry new stuff . My wrists got fucked . Then studied a bit and now , as always chillin

Edited by Reza
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Day 21 :

 

 1.no gaming✔ 

2. no fap ✖ 

3. keeping positive atitude✔

4. good sleeping routine ✖

5. always do my prioruties ✖

 

Check in progress goals :

1. control my expenses  ✔

2. Sugar ✖

 

how was my day :

i woke up at 6 while i was shaking . I felt exteremly sick i really could not get out of bed. So i slept till 10 . Unfortunetely i got sick , its probably a cold . My whole body hurts . And i have headache . I just rested today trying to get better . For the last couple of days i keep having bad luck ...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey guys ! 

in my journal i mentioned i felt sick for couple of days . well it got so worst and it was so hard . i tested for covid-19 couple of times . it was literally one of the hardest sicknesses i had in my entire life . i quarantined my self for a week and waited for test result , thankfully it was negative . but i don't know what the fuck that was . it nearly killed me . still after 2-3 weeks my throat hurts and i can't sleep well at nights . but over all i feel way better . just wanted to say i dint leave my journal it was because of my sickness . i start writing my journal again , it is in day 36 now i guess  and i work toward my goals again . 

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an update from day 21 to day 36 :

so i got a disease it slowly got worst and worst into the point that i literally wasn't able do anything . but during this time i came up with some new stuff and those will be my new goals .

it's been a while i got into programming stuff and i really loved it . i decided to study some major and study programming from self-teaching way. after i got into it i found out that actualy needs much more work to much more effort to put in ( already finished html css , and learning js now ) . in iran programming has a weird place among all the jobs . it has many many good and wellpaid job , yet lack of good programmers makes this one of the highest unemployed rates over the country (as far i know) , so basically it's a high skilled demand job and if you don't put work on it you can't land a job . i actualy have been doing so good in it . i at least tried to work an hour learning and practicing and i really love doing it . after long huge argues with my familly they agreed to help me with it and let me decide to future for myself . but i should study some major only for sake of the degree of it. i probably study economics or whatever only to go to tehran , beacuse obviously its capital and situation is way more better and easier to land a job there . also i met a professional programmer who owns a company . he is actually helping me during this process . 

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Day 37 :

Today i woke at at 10:00 . buying and preparing breakfast and eating it took me an hour. from 11 to 1:30 pm i worked programming a little bit plus little study my books . i rested for half on hour and i worked non stop from 2 pm to 6 pm . right away i grabbed my book at studied for 2 hours . after that i chilled for about 2 hours . then i worked one more half an hour untill now . a bit later TV series is going to start soon , i watch it and i'll probably going to sleep . i am exhausted to day . i worked alot.

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Day 38 and 39 :

i have pretty much the same routine everyday . i wake up around 10 i spend almost all my day learning and programming. although i am doing good but i need a solid plan to know what im gonna do untill end of the year( we have different calendar here ) . so my tasks/goals are :

1. learn programming at least to the point that i am employable

2.keep learning new programming languages / overall just keep making progress 

3. learn English completely  with all books and sources i have

4. get in shape ( first i should go to the doctor , my arm started hurting so bad plus i feel my left eye is weak )

5. good diet - healthy eating 

6. improve my mentality 

7. grow some good beard😂

8. be more regular . 

9. working on my will 

10. and the last one . keep writing my journal .

i try to figure it out how to arrange them to achieve one and every single one of them untill end of the year

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Day 39 and 40 :

Ok Finally i told the truth to my family witch turned into a massive argue witch i would say it was well worth it that they finally know what is in my mind and what is my choice . i mean i am 21 it's my right to decide what ever the fuck i want to do with my future , yes i understand they are my parents and they are worried but i can assure you i am not worried less about myself than they are for me . when we were eating lunch i told them that i don't want to go university and i want to start my career as a programmer soon and i have made huge progress and etc . they are traditional family and of course they won't accept it but i 100% believe in my way and i will make it work . beside that i started to do something for my future now i am on by myself now . i went and started investing in stocks , got new credit card  etc . actually i am so excited that finally told what has been in my mind for days now , although i heard stuff like " you wont be able you find a job ever , you will be poor for rest of your life , now it's a day that we cut our hopes on you " but all it matters is me and my future in front of me . 

i mentioned i got 10 goals for the rest of the year (8 months to the new year here) i work on each everyday  , i am currently doing it but in regular and ordered way 

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Day 41 :

 - it has been a few days i am trying to fix my sleeping schedule , i fixed a huge part of it but there is a problem. my family is Muslim but i am  not ( they don't know) so every morning at 5 am i have to wake up and pretend to read salat ( Muslims pray) and then sleep . this makes me 10x tired i need to find a way for it . maybe sleep earlier to wake up at that time or prepare good healthy breakfast from the night before to eat after i wake up , i figure it out

- i woke up at 11 morning , pretty late since i should practice more for programming . after waking up i ate breakfast and started to working on laptop ( laptop is my sister's i borrowed it for a while) .there is a problem in windows called blue screen of death , if you don't know it's basically an error appears on a blue screen causes the system to restart to prevent data loss . 

- after that i tired to fix it because this problem is bothering me for a while. i tried windows reset witch took a while , after system reset i guess problem solved but it took almost 2 hours . 

- my dad told me that he needs the laptop ( my sister's laptop , witch i was using) for his work because it has larger screen and it's more comfortable for him to carry it with him. instead he gave me his laptop for myself . its a good laptop but it's strong and heavy laptop but i like it . at least i own a laptop now . 

- anyway after that i installed every app i need and stuff , i guess it takes a while to get used to this new laptop . this laptop does what i need for me so it's all fine i guess . 

- good news about myself : after trying to quit league of legends i still used to play once in a while , that turned into installing again , but i was using in a complete moderation (not more than 3 games in day) . but i quit that too and basically i don't have any games now .

- one of my goals is to create a good routine and develop good habits in me . i still don't have exact plan to what should i do first , second and etc i am trying to find a good way to force myself some habits but yet have some freedom in my schedule.

Peace ! 

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i was thinking and i came with a plan i try to write it down here . i compared what i want to be with what i am now and i got some results 

1. fixing sleep schedule : since i should spend much time on programming i need to fix my sleep . i try to wake up earlier in order to be more tired at night to sleep sooner . i repeat this  cycle until at a point that my sleep routine is fixed

 

2. learn continuously : since i am learning programming i need to be update and learn everyday . consistency is key . and it get 2x important now while everybody is disagree with my choice and this is basically what i am going to to in the rest of life so i must be expert in what i am learning

 

3. habit of reading books : book are treasure . i started to read couple of months ago but i stopped . books teach us many things   . full of experiences . i make sure to spend a reasonable amount of time on reading books 

 

4.improve mental health : i hate to admit it but i am a little weak mentally . i can easily lose my mind in situations , get frustrated . my mind sometimes gets busy on stupid stuff for hours . this also works with my will . if i work on this i also get a stronger will .

 

5.be independent : since i got an ultimatum  from family i need to learn how to stand on own feet , considering i am 21 and i should've done it  long time ago . but still its a thing i should learn . also i should move couple of months later when i landed a job i need to move . good thing is this one i started it couple of days ago . i am investing in stocks to make some more money out of it that can support me for couple of months when i move

 

6. develop my social skills : its been couple of years i got distance from public and social . when this pandemic got better or who knows maybe a cure found i want to join social groups and just be more in the crowd 

 

it is going to be a long journey . i don't just think of end of it . i want to enjoy the process and the feeling of getting better every day !

 

peace ! 

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day 42 : 

first update :

last night i could not sleep at all . i was in bed trying to sleep until 3 am then i took a shower and worked on my java script for almost 2 hours . at 5 i slept but i set alarm because i didn't want to sleep until evening . so i woke at 9:30 it was really hard but i did it . then i went and bought something for breakfast and started working right away . its actually really hard . one thing happened that my parents actually tried to speak with me to convince me go to normal university . unlike last times that i lied to them to keep them pleased of me and avoid argue i actually insisted on my decision and i told them hey , that is my way and that's what i chose , you cannot force me to do thing i don't want to . they are not really happy about it but i am sure even they will be happy of the outcome . not it's 1:30 i am waiting to eat that delicious BBQ 😁  then rest a little bit , start reading my new book and start working again . somewhat between normal/good morning so far . no complain 😄 

 

2nd update :

i ate lunch and relaxed for almost an hour . by that time i think it was 3 pm . so again i started working . later on i got a huge migraine and still have it . i slept at 5 until 7  . i really want to see a doctor but unfortunately i can't go out because of the pandemic . i just wait for it to gets better then start working again 

Edited by Reza
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day 43 :

first update :

 

i had the perfect sleep schedule that i wanted . i slept at 12 night and woke up at 6:30 , ate a healthy breakfast and at 7 i started my work . i worked straight until 11 , at 11:20  i was exhausted , you know spending much time behind the lap top and righting constantly is exhausting , anyway i slept until no , 1:30 pm . i would probably wait to eat lunch and if not , then i again , same routine , lap top , vs code and video of courses . xD

 

second update :

i met an amazing person , we were speaking almost all day about literally everything . took me whole evening , but it was well worth it . 

Edited by Reza
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day 44 :

first update :

i woke up a bit late around 2 am . at the morning i woke at at 9 am . there were nothing to eat for breakfast so i started working right away . now it's 3 pm . i almost did nothing but working + chat with a friend at the same time .

 

second update :

my journal are always short because i don't do much in a day . just  regular routine repeats everyday . pretty much i worked with my laptop all evening  . nothing much . 

Edited by Reza
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