Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hello

I'm starting my diary from the 12th day of stopping games. During this time, I formatted the Windows partition on my laptop and use only Linux. Desktop computer for playing, I gave my dad to work with graphics. The next step was to remove all the characters from the game I played. I have the impression that my life is not going anywhere, because my life goals (characters in the game) have disappeared. To avoid this, I began to learn electronics. During these 12 days I feel more sad and suffer from mild depression, but I think it's a good sign, because the brain has to get used to the lack of endorphin jumps during the game. I still have thoughts to get back into games and forget about all the problems. Fortunately, the sense of this detox is stronger than ever and somehow I manage. No one said it will be easy 🙂 plus i am more calm during everyday tasks and this is my big step forward 🙂

Have a nice day and keep calm! 🙂

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Hello Chi, if you can or have any idea about something that could replace your gaming and give you a sense of escapisme you could do that, like finding a hobby that makes you focus only on that like fitness or any other sport or maybe leaning a new skill like an instrument 🙂 some skill that will last a lifetime instead of a game that dissapears when a new game comes out 🙂 

 

Good day and stay strong mate.. its worth it 🙂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 13:
Still thinking about games and what would be if i relapse. I have more motivation to do my overdue tasks. I am wondering if i could play only non-online games after my 90 day detox. Probably not, because is much easier to relapse into that addictive ones, if u already play offline. I am reading respawn and planning my future activities.

Have a nice day 🙂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Chi! Good job on starting a journal, it'll definitely help you a lot over the 90-days.

As someone who recently relapsed heavily by playing single-player games, I can wholeheartedly say that they're just as addictive as the online ones 😁

Keep it up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 0:

During the day I was attacked by a mobile game advertisement in which I used to play a stationary version (LoL). Out of curiosity, I played 3 hours, fortunately my defense mechanisms started and I already deleted it. It's terrifying how easy it is to fall into the swamp. I start from the beginning, I have to be more careful about advertising.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 3:

I feel good, the weather is great and day after day i am more confident about this detox.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 4:

Today I'm successful. From the morning I have a good mood, thanks to the detox my mind does not revolve around games and I manage to focus better on current tasks. Yesterday I noticed that discontinuation of playing may not be enough to be completely withdrawn. When I was playing, I liked to light up MJ. So smoking is just another escape from the real world for me. In fact, the biggest challenge for success is to face the feelings that I run away playing or smoking. Fear, anger, sadness, apathy, guilt - a whole range of emotions I can not feel when playing. However, ending the game they come back, they will always come back until they are overworked.
From today I start regular meditation to feel good with myself 🙂

Have a nice day!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 5:

I feel tired and a little sick from the morning. I still do not play, but I have an impression that in times of weakness one must be particularly careful. Besides, it's good, hold on! 🙂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 6-7

I'm sick, so I stayed home. For most of this time I wanted to play again, but I still stand with a shield.

 

Edited by chi
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 8-9

I was sitting sick at home all weekend. I have the feeling that I have been locked in a cage alone with my addiction. I was a bit afraid of this situation, because as a rule, when I was at home, I played all my free time. All the time I was accompanied by the feeling that I was wasting my time, that I might as well play. In the end, I did not launch any games, although I spent a lot of time watching movies (no gaming movies ofc).
I am glad that I have taken the hard step of detox.

See ya!

Edited by chi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
58 minutes ago, chi said:

I was sitting sick at home all weekend. All the time I was accompanied by the feeling that I was wasting my time, that I might as well play. In the end, I did not launch any games,

Requires a lot of strength!! Congrats!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@JustTom Thanks mate 🙂

day 10:

Today I went to the doctor, in front of me a whole week of home treatment. Around noon, I was sure that I would spend this time playing on the phone. I quickly found another job and that's over - now I feel good because I'm still in the ring. Today is also the first day when I did not have to support myself with instant endorfine-boosters like porno or marichuana. Thanks to this, I was able to enjoy small things, such as talking with grandparents, or clearing the room 🙂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 11:

Another day of treatment, there were moments when I was reminded of situations from different games. I can recognize in turn the feelings behind these memories: excitement, joy, sense of bonding, fear, happiness ... I forgive them slowly, without regret.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 12:

Another hot day, I had a very strong desire today to play. By noon I felt nervousness and doubt. Then I took care of other things and now I feel a little stronger in non-playing again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 13-14:

I was absorbed by the science of electronics. When I was playing, nothing could fascinate me because nothing gave such fun. Now I feel that I am slowly able to develop other passions because they please me. Hobby is what I missed.

In the meantime, I felt a slight nostalgia to the times when I was playing and the nervousness. General well-being is good and better than ever when I played actively.

Have a nice day!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 15-16

Hey! The last two days I was doing a schematic of the electronic system - the Morse coder. Today I went to the university to show the layout of circuit to the PhD. The only thing I heard was that this arrangement is useless, and I probably will not pass this semester. The beauty of Polish higher education ... Well, it's a bit of my fault, because I started doing it quite late. I felt a little depressed, but hey! I will not make a weapon so easy 🙂 Today I will take a break from electronics, but tomorrow I will be back to work.

As for the illness that has been bothering me for a week, I feel better and I am going to work tomorrow, although I am not fully healthy yet.

Yesterday at the walk, I started dreaming about playing again. Fortunately, my compass works and I was able to quickly move my thoughts in a different direction. The brain begins to make up excuses, for example: after developing my favorite game programmatically, I will be able to be in its universe, and I will not formally play! It is a path to nowhere and it is known that the border would begin to blur.

I wish you all a nice week!

edit: What do you think about the photo i took yesterday night?

Spoiler

IMAG0415.thumb.jpg.ceb1b47c449fed9add79f25c692ad11f.jpg

 

Edited by chi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 17:

Today was a good day. I did almost all tasks at work. I did not play, but I had cravings. My brain is looking to get around to the game, like programming scripts that can be useful in games that I've played. I was go-karting with friends from previous job and took 4/9 place, but the first 14 laps belonged to me. We played, who will have the best time on the lap. Also in the evening I smoked a bit of MJ and watched the totally numb episode of Rick and Morty. I realized that these 30 minutes were totally wasted. Then I went to meditate, calm down and go for a walk with my dog.

I still do not feel the purpose in my life, just like games did.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey,

I was too depressed yesterday to write, so i post 2 days at once.

day 18:

From the morning i was in state in the middle of calm, and depress. That is mean I was doing good job in work, smiling and joking with people, but feel black hole inside me. That is huge part of me, that is cut now for ever. At noon, i has to take some sleep, because of short bedtime last night. After i woke up, i felt totally wasted. From this feeling, and from massive amount of bad emotions. The problem with playing is not only taking whole your time, but also guides you to stay away from your problems and emotions. When i lost my land of oblivion(games), the bad chi must pass in this dark moments of depress, sadness, guilty and malevolence. I could face it, but i choose an another option to escape into smoking MJ. After that i was feeling good and the minds get brighter... but after, the endorphin level still wasn't good, so i watched porn to fix it. I ended that evening on writing a tool to make a dictionary attack on Telnet Mud client of game i played... Just to train coding, or just to be closer to this hell of oblivion, with which we all fight against.

day 19:

That day i woke up a bit more happy. In work, I wasn't involved that much i must, but I was reading about soldering electronic circuits for my study object. I ordered few sets of interesting circuits to make at home, e.g. electronic buzzer to scary away mosquitoes, or check the capacity of car accumulator. After that i was on pizza with Spanish founders of Buguroo, IT security company, together with my colleagues. We are also kind of security company, but involving behavioural biometrics. After i came back to home, I smoked MJ again. I plan to end that day with meditating and practise some electronics. I wish to pass Electronics this semester, because of that University keeps me in place.

Peace

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 20:

Still not playing, i feel good overall. Today in Poland is free day, so I spent it learning Python, a bit electronics, riding a bike and smoking MJ.

Peace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 21

Yesterday i met with my friends, we smoked a lot of MJ and did some random stuff, like riding a bike at 2 am in the park.

day 22

I have been helping my cousin on the construction site all day. To the end of the day, i am going to meditate, and do some code 😉

I didn't have cravings while this time. I said without regret, that I am addicted gamer on detox. I repeat it to everyone I've ever played with.

Edited by chi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 24:

Uncle from Germany arrived, so after my work i went for a little party. That day ended with drinking alcohol and talking with family.

day 25:

After work i went shopping, because i am going to Greece this weekend. I wonder when I had time to play on the computer. I do not play at all now, and I still have too little time.

Peace!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 41:

I did not write because I was in Greece on vacation. I met a lot of fantastic people and visited the beautiful islands of Corfu, Paxos and Antipaxos. I am reminded of the holidays when I played constantly, wasting beautiful moments of my life. Now that I'm at home, I'd love to play to kill the nostalgia of those holiday days. However, I feel strong in detox.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

day 42:

Dancing with fire

Today I had a very strong desire to play. I am sitting at home, because after the holidays I am sick again and I can not go to sports. I made a mistake and entered the forum of my most addictive game. It turned out that a few days ago there was a so-called PW - that is, everyone starts again. Out of curiosity, I entered the world and wrote to the "friend" with whom I played. I mentioned my detox, he said that he also has a game problem, but he has no more strength to fight it. He tried to persuade me to return to the game, but at the moment we started to write about the greatest maniacs of this universe. Most are so involved that they play one game for 20 years! Even now they are so addicted that they play 10-15 hours a day and get up at night just to get better equipment. Then another, endlessly, because the character cannot be finished. Like a hamster on his spinning wheel. It is terrifying and overwhelming. I regret them, but I had to say goodbye and never come back.

Edited by chi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...