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NEW VIDEO: The Dark Side of Gaming (Documentary)

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Posted (edited)

Hello everyone. I recently decided to quit playing video games. Although I still enjoy them very much a lot of the time, I am unhappy with where I am in life and I want to do everything I can to change that.

I am a 31 year old male. I live at my mom's house and work at Walmart as a cart pusher. I have no girlfriend or even anyone else that I enjoy spending time with. I have no one to talk to about this but I think it might help to get support so that is why I'm here. I smoked weed on and off (mostly on) since I was 16, but I quit that 4 months ago and I am starting to get some motivation back. When I was 18 I decided I wanted to be an artist and there have been times of my life when I have worked very hard at it. I have never made money from it so I have always had to have some kind of job. I went to college for 3 years before I realized that no matter how much money I was going to make being whatever was in demand, it would be a compromise to do so, and I couldn't go through with it so I dropped out.

That was about 5 years ago. Since then I have been going from job to job until I get so tired of one I quit and find something different, but I am pretty much at the end of the line with that. I am very grateful to have an income so that I am not living on the streets but I know I can't work at Walmart forever. It physically and emotionally drains me every day I am there which is one of the biggest reasons I am deciding to make this change in my life to stop playing video games. I want to focus as much attention as possible on being productive with my art. I have a lot of great ideas and I am tired of them being on the back burner. Often times I use the excuse that I am too tired from work to make art so I just play games instead, but know that it's just an excuse and if I am really that tired I should just go to sleep. I have no way of knowing whether I will ever be able to make financially as an artist, but I decided that I am going to try as hard as I can to do so because it is what I am passionate about. There are some other things I can imagine myself doing. I am interested in science, especially biology, but ultimately art is my favorite thing. I have never been to a doctor but my life has been saved by art on multiple occasions.

I very much enjoy games. I have been playing them since I was 5 years old and a lot of my favorite memories are of playing games. At the same time though, I do regret spending so much time on them. I would like it if I could just play every now and then, but I have a very addictive personality that won't let my stop something until it's finished, and after I finish one there is usually already another one that I have in mind. This quality is actually useful if I am doing something productive, but when playing games it is obviously a problem. I decided that this year I would use games to get me through this time of adjustment of no longer smoking weed. However, I am starting to feel normal again and I don't want to waste the whole year. I used to feel like I was unable to create without getting high but I have been drawing and painting sober and I am starting to break away from that association. I recently bought a camera so that I can start making prints of my art to hopefully sell so I have no excuse now not to create.

Tonight I put all of my games into boxes and put them in the closet even though I am halfway through about a dozen different games lol. I just decided enough is enough. I haven't decided if I am going to sell them all yet. I do want to try the 90 day detox and see how I feel about it after that. Anyway that's it for now. I will probably report back later. Thanks for reading.

Peace- Rivers

Edited by rivers
  • Like 1
Posted

Hey man, good to have you here.

I'm an artist too, and I totally sympathize with the battle between your art and just killing your free time with gaming. Art asks that we do more than that. Your ideas need time and attention, and you have to give it to them or they will wilt and so will your creative spirit. So it's good you are here. Good luck on your journey!

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