The First Four Days

[Kendall"PurpleBot"Stauffer]

So,

I just started the 90 day detox. After cleaning out my computer and my room, the only access to video games in my home is my brother's consoles which are in the basement in which he lives. Rarely need to go down there for anything.

Only a few days in but I am already literally dreaming of playing games again, some that I haven't played in years. I didn't sell anything or delete any accounts because I may want to revisit them in, even if rarely or only with friends, after the 90 days. It's difficult watching friends play video games and not being able to participate. 

I have already been enjoying the Headspace app a lot and have felt good about diverting most of my attention to finishing my bachelor's in graphic design as well as doing personal projects, but I still find a lot of my time being dominated by youtube and netflix, even if it is less than the time I spent on gaming. It's something I should manage better for sure. I watch a lot of youtube gaming but I'm more drawn to the commentary than the games themselves, sometimes just listening and not watching even. Can someone tell me what their experience has taught them about the correlation between game addiction and youtube/youtubegaming/netflix and movies in general is?

For now, here is my synopsis/journal of the first 4 days, 86 to go

 

March 30
Day 1 of 90
Massive headache, need more water
Talked about games with my friends, mentioned I'm taking 90 days completely off
Unsure about whether or 
not watching YouTube gaming is ok

Day 2
literally dreamt pretty vividly about playing overwatch but a strange remake. In the dream, was crying about breaking my streak. 

Day 3
remembering things about video games I haven't touched in a year (injustice2 when talking about batman)

Day 4
Another dream about breaking my streak, but with hearthstone.
 

Edited April 2, 2019 by Kendall"PurpleBot"Stauffer

[taichi]

From my experience, having YouTube or Twitch available everyday only shortens the time it takes me to relapse.

Also from my experience, the feeling of craving YouTube videos and then enjoying them less and less is pretty much what I know as addiction. The distinction between games and "not really games" is meaningless, in terms of what goes on in the brain. I consider it a relapse (or a streak that never started).

But people's experiences differ a lot. I am in no place to force you into my rules. Hope you make yourself as happy as can be.

[Daniel Harrison]

Cutting out youtube is probably why i didn't fail on the first day. 

Still get the "need stimulation" pain feeling but it's not directed toward any one outlet for very long - like video games haven't been on my mind much at all, right now the urge is towards a movie.

Wishing you the best, let's get through this addiction. 

 

[Catherine17]

Hey, Kendall! Wish you luck with a detox!

To my mind, watching YouTube videos about games is a straight road to relapse. It is the unstoppable flow of content which makes you crave more. 

On 4/3/2019 at 12:37 AM, Kendall"PurpleBot"Stauffer said:

I watch a lot of youtube gaming but I'm more drawn to the commentary than the games themselves, sometimes just listening and not watching even.

So relatable, tbh. They provide a sense of distraction from your own thoughts. I used to 'listen' to some of them while trying to work and always ended up getting back to the screen, actually watching it, rather than doing what is important for me

[Kendall"PurpleBot"Stauffer]

On 4/4/2019 at 3:40 PM, Catherine17 said:

So relatable, tbh. They provide a sense of distraction from your own thoughts. I used to 'listen' to some of them while trying to work and always ended up getting back to the screen, actually watching it, rather than doing what is important for me

I 100% agree. Ironically, I used to play games while watching said videos. So far though, I haven't felt youtube making me want to play games a ton unless it's a game my brothers or I own. However, I'll admit that the feeling of playing video games with other people (the youtuber) does have a huge draw on its own. For now, I am staying off of Netflix because I know for me, it's very much a "single-player game" where I can spend hours absorbing content and not feel the least bit better.