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Oak lee

Escape to reality day 110

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I stopped the detox at around day 56 I'm not gonna say It failed because that amount of time away from games and the selling of my PC did the job and I only play occasionally now. I have formed a healthy relationship with games but that doesn't mean all my problems went away. Why? Well it's not because I didn't fallow the 90 day detox to a T its because 6 years of damage from abuse of alchoholis parents, and escapism to cope is not solved in 3 months but it doesn't hurt

I FINALLY passed my driving test and I now have a full time job I've gotten into archery journal keeping and modern western European paganism. I'm also coming up on one year of my mothers passing. 

 I may no longer suffer from a gaming addiction but I'm still paying the price for 6 years of it. The deformed body I find myself in is a daily reminder of that. The pictures on the fireplace mantle are a reminder that I wasn't always this way, and i remind myself I wont always be like this. 

I still find myself picking up fallout from time to time on the old ps3 or thinking back on the internet communities I was a part of so many years ago like the bronies or that one gmod sandbox server I was in for 4 years. I made many friends and it was fun, I'll be honest and say if I had my computer I might indulge in that nostalgia and try to find another community. I know that, and that's why I sold that damn thing

You dont have to be perfect to make progress your life doesn't have to change overnight, you just gotta keep trying and failing. Every time you fail you get right back up even faster until one day you'll be moving so quick you wont have time to focus on what you did wrong only that you have to get back up. I've been having rushes of determination more and more frequently long ago they only came about every 6 months now they come every few weeks. And every time I'm setting in small achievements that push me forward long after the work was done, only pushing me further. 

Go out and fail because even that better than sitting alone in a room in the dark with cheese dust on you for 6 hours straight at 4am. I failed the 90 day detox but I'm better because of it, because I tried and actively gained something from it. 

Please ignore the grammar mistakes wrote this on my phone an hour after my bedtime.

Edited by Oak lee
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Well done and good perspective about your progress.  Sometimes progress isn't a straight linear result.  So true.  There are dips and peaks!  

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