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GLawrence

Gabe's Journal

3 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Day 1: I am feeling relatively okay. I have been working on DEVELOPING a game for today instead of playing one. I'm hoping that with all of my thousands of wasted gaming hours, I can use the experience to turn them into something substantial that can even make me some money. Eventually, I'd like to move away from games, and towards other software. I felt a some of withdrawal-y symptoms earlier, but nothing too bad yet. The only real concern that I have is what I will do if somebody invites me to play. I have watched Cam's videos about that, but I still feel uncomfortable telling my friends that I'm not performing in my (and their) primary leisure activity.

Day 2: Today, I had to be taken home from school. I was feeling more anxious than I have in a long time. Maybe the Gaming abstinence is beginning to catch up to me.

Day 3: I'm feeling better with the anxiety, but today I'm feeling possibly worse. I don't really feel much of anything... I have done several things in the right direction (calendar, trello, etc), but nothing is actually changing. Maybe it's my tendency of needing instant gratification (supplied by games) from everything that is making me feel this way. The reason why I have started this is because I wanted to fix up my school scores, and keep my priorities (...school, not much else...) straight. First day of proper withdrawal shit.... fuck me.

Edited by GLawrence
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Hello GLawrence

welcome to the forums, I have a question for you is developing a game gonna help you get to achieve your goals or is a trigger to keep gaming? ASk yourself is this worth it, not say video games are bad but look up cam videos on triggers and cravings. 

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Good job starting your journal - it will help you a lot! 

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