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[SOCIAL] Moving a group of gamers to another direction


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Hello I've just started my 90 days without gaming.

This is my situation:

I've had a group of 4 friends for many years now, and ever since the group started to exist the main topic for conversation has been gaming and talking about edgy and stupid memes, since I'm trying to stop with the first one and I'm striving to reduce the second one to a minimum I should follow Cam's advice and just leave them.

Neverthelss, this last 2 years the dynamics of the group have started to change, first we started to go Pubbing, normally in the pubs we don't speak with no one else, but we've ocasionally made some friends. Ever since two of us have learned to drive a car we've been going on a lot of roadtrips around the country and abroad (we've crossed the frontier to go to Andorra and France), and we even catched a cheap flight to Rome (Italy) last summer to go visit a friend we met through gaming B|, right now we've just made reservations to yet another cheap flight to Venice (lottsa friends in Italy) to meet another of those friends who lives in a nearby town. We've also engaged in other hobbies aside from gaming but that's another story.

To sum up, our main topic of conversation is still videogames and memes but other topics have recently popped up due to this changes. Two of these friends, I'm my humble opinion, have a problem with gaming, the one remaining does not. Following Cam's suggestion, I gave my Steam account to this last friend and It hasn't been a big deal, I do not know, however, how the others will react to the news. I would rather not troubling them with my personal endeavours, but this changes did not come out of nowhere, for years I've been trying hard to move the group in this direction in order to help myself to distance from videogames, and it has definetly also benefited them. 

Of course, on taking Cam's lessons I intend to create other new groups of friends, but should I keep in touch with this group of people that I have succesfully managed to drive in another direction (while I try to move them away from gaming even further) or should I put some distance between them and me at least for this 90 days in which I'll be undergoing the detox (except for Italy, because we're going for sure ;))?

Edited by Regular Robert
Moved the thread since it seems to be highly relevant. Changed the title. - Robert
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Uaskar, tough question you are asking. :)

I can only describe my personal experiences: When I began my detox, I left some dear gaming friends behind. Before the detox, I even suggested to stop gaming together to some of them. In the end, I was alone, which was fine. (Interesting side-note: One of my friends got left by his girlfriend after my detox and the reason was - you guessed it - he was spending too much time gaming.)
Going through the detox was tough, really tough at some point. After all, I think it was good to get some distance to my gaming friends, since it would have pulled me back into playing games. So, if you ask me, during your detox you might benefit from being on your own. It helps focusing on what YOU want to do with your life and that is what matters the most. After the detox, it might even help you get in touch with the people again. You might feel changed and you might feel that you belong somewhere else. But while going through all the changes, it is good to focus on yourself and the people that actually surround you locally (offline).

You said, that 2 of them show signs of negative influence due to gaming. When you are through with your detox ( - mind: WHEN, not IF, since I am pretty sure you will make it;) ) - you could give them advice on how to reduce or let go of gaming in general. But for now, focus on yourself. This is a very egoistic process, since you have to connect to your inner self before you can connect to others.

If  - and that can always be the case - you feel that you need to distance yourself from your gaming friends, well than that is what will happen anyway. For me, it was exactly that situation. I still miss some of them and I haven't given up on keeping some of them. Some will stay, some will go. Those who stay are usually the ones, that have something in common with you. Something other than gaming. If you have online-friends that share more than gaming with you, there is a good chance you will find other activities than gamin. For now, I can only stress my main advise: Focus on yourself for now. Go through the detox and witness what you will be when you are done with it. All your questions will be answered by you when this day comes and things will be much more clear.

So, mate, stay strong and work on yourself. You can make it. You already took the first important steps. Just go through it. Keep moving and you will, most likely, be a changed person afterwards. Never forget: You are in control!


Love to read more of you in the future,


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I agree with @Regular Robert, I don't think you should give them the cold shoulder directly (specially since they are opening up to other activities as well), but you should use this time to explore many different new things to implement in your game-free life. Perhaps you could even convince them to participate in this new life with you, suggesting alternatives to gaming and such. Lead by example. 

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