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(New member) how to overcome of being shy?


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I have just registered as a new member sorry for this terrible grammar so I am a high school student I can go to anyone and talk but I would still be shy like I can and I only know about baseball and hockey also computer language so it will be hard for me to talk about other things like for example trying to talk to girls unless I get lucky if she likes sports but I had one friend but he was too much of a gamer and was too lazy to do outside things with me so I just slowly stop talking to him but I tried to reach out to him but when I look at my self I feel that I am the ugliest person and thinking why would anyone hang out with me. My gaming is pretty much done really I have stop playing but I am too lazy to do school work when I get home.

Sorry for my grammar I am in Florida and our house got him has from the Irma storm so the wifi is keep going off and on so I tried to type this as fast as possible.

Edited by Baseball
just info about my gaming history
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Hi, @Baseball, take care out there.

Your question is far too broad. Rather than thinking "I don't want to be shy", why don't you narrow it down? What do you want specifically? Know more stuff for small talk? Make more friends? Be socially competent in parties, or in general? Flirt with girls? Once you have your specific goal you can begin your search for the resources and tactics you could be interested in.

General advice you can take is, get used to say YES and go to whatever plan comes up from now on (use common sense), listen a lot to know what interest people as a whole and be at least mildly informed about it, and (sorry to say) get also used to many tries and some screw-ups. You're in high-school, don't sweat it. If you feel safer, you can also hang around in this forum, talk with people here and get more used to social interaction as a first step. Opening a journal to vent, chill or lay out plans and goals is also encouraged.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Jordan peterson is great, especially if you see how he ties it in with psychology and mythology.

But honestly guys, overcoming shyness is hard to do. But WHAT you actually have to do isn't really. Talking to people seems like this smooth process, but believe me, most people suck at it, and that's okay. If you can only talk about baseball, great. Talk about that. But also be willing to learn about what other people like to talk about. The best way to make yourself comfortable in  a conversation, is by focusing on making the other person comfortable. And that is done by being genuinely interested. Ask questions about themselves, what they like, and why! Listen and ask more. You'll see the conversation comes easy then. Try this a lot! You'll see that gradually over time, you will become less shy :)!

All that fear and power you give other people, by imagining what they think of you, is just all in your head! You are not the ugliest, you are not the stupidest, that's what you think people see. They don't see that. Especially if you stop believing it as well. So since none of us is gaming anymore :P, get out and work on yourself. Speak to new people and overcome shyness :)!  

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  • 1 month later...

Research has shown that people really enjoy conversations in which they themselves talk about 80%. This makes the solution for social skills very easy. Ask questions and take interest in other peoples lives, ask how things are going and follow up on them later. When you try to make other people feel good by listening to them, you'll often see it being returned.

However, if it it very one-sided it is often a sign that you should move on to someone else. 


Source: Psychology University bachelor

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