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Debius Broojs

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  1. Also, I changed my password and security questions to some random gibberish that I don't remember. This forum may have helped me in some ways in the past but it is no good for me and where I am going. Making friends offline is more important.
  2. Here's a passage from the book 12 Rules of Life by psychologist and Harvard/University of Toronto professor Jordan Peterson: Rescuing the Damned People choose friends who aren't good for them for other reasons, too. Sometimes it's because they want to rescue someone. This is more typical of young people, although the impetus still exists among older folks who are too agreeable or have remained naive or who are wilfully blind. Someone might object, "It is only right to see the best in people. The highest virtue is the desire to help." But not everyone who is failing is a victim, and not shortage of oppressors among the downtrodden, even if, given their lowly positions, many of them are only tyrannical wannabes. It's the easiest path to choose, moment to moment, although it's nothing but hell in the long run. Imagine someone not doing well. He needs help. He might even want it. But it is not easy to distinguish between someone truly wanting and needing help and someone who is merely exploiting a willing helper. The distinction is difficult even for the person who is wanting and needing and possibly exploiting. The person who tries and fails, and is forgiven, and then tries again and fails, and is forgiven, is also too often the person who wants everyone to believe in the authenticity of all that trying. When it's not just naivete, the attempt to rescue someone is often fuelled by vanity and narcissism. Something like this is detailed in the incomparable Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky's bitter classic Notes from the Underground, which begins with these famous lines: "I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believed my liver is diseased." It is the confession of a miserable, arrogant sojourner in the underworld of chaos and despair. He analysis himself mercilessly, but only pays in this manner for a hundred sins, despite committing a thousand. Then, imagine himself redeemed, the underground man commits the worst transgression of the lot. H offers aid to a genuinely unfortunate person, Liza, a woman on the desperate nineteenth-century road to prostitution. He invites her for a visit, promising to set her life back on the proper course. While waiting for her to appear, his fantasies spin increasingly messianic: "On day passed, however, another and another; she did not come and I began to grow calmer. I felt particularly bold and cheerful after nine o'clock, "I even sometimes began dreaming, and rather sweetly: I, for instance, became the salvation of Liza, simply through her coming to me and my talking to her.... I develop her, educate her. Finally, I notice that she loves me, loves me passionately. I pretend not understand (I don't know however, why I pretend, just for effect, perhaps). At last all confusion, transfigured, trembling and sobbing, she flings herself at my feet and says that I am her savior, and that she loves me better than anything in the world." Nothing but narcissism of the underground man nourished by such fantasies. Liza herself is demolished by them. The salvation he offers to her demands far more in the way of commitment and maturity than the underground man is willing or able to offer. He simply does not have the character to see it through - something he quickly realizes, and equally quickly rationalizes. Liza eventually arrives at his shabby apartment, hoping desperately for a way out, staking everything she has on the visit. She tells the underground man is that she wants to leave her current life. His response? " Why have you come to me, tell me please?" I began, gasping for breath and regardless of logical connection in my words. I longed to have it all out at once, at one burst; I did not even trouble how to begin. "Why have you come? Answer, answer," I cried, hardly knowing what I am doing. "I'll tell you, my good girl, why you have come. You've come because I talked sentimental stuff to you then. So now you are soft as butter and longing for fine sentiments again. So you may as well know that I am laughing at you then. And I am laughing at you know. Why are shuddering? Yes, I was laughing at you! I had been insulted just before, at dinner, by the fellows who came that evening before me. I cam to you, meaning to thrash one of them, an officer; but I didn't succeed, I didn't find him; I had to avenge the insult on someone to get back my own again; you turned up, I vented my spleen on you and laughed at you. I had been humiliated, so I wanted to humiliate; I had been treated like a rag, so I wanted to show my power.... that's what it was, and you imagined I had come there on purpose to save yo. Yes? You imagined that? You imagined that?" I knew that she would perhaps be muddled and not take it all in exactly, but I knew, too, that she would grasp the gist of it, very well indeed. And so, indeed, she did. She turned white as a handkerchief, tried to say something, and her lips worked painfully; but she sank on a chair as though she had been felled by an axe. And all the time afterwards she listened to me with her lips parted and her eyes wide open, shuddering with awful terror. The cynicism, the cynicism of my words overwhelmed her.... " The inflated self-importance, carelessness and sheer malevolence of the underground man dashes Liza's last hopes. He understands this. Worse: something in him was aiming at this all along. And he knows that too. But a villain who despairs of his villainy has not become a hero. A hero is something positive, not just the absence of evil. But Christ himself, you might object, befriended tax-collectors and prostitutes. How dare I cast aspersions on the motives of those who are trying to help? But Christ was the archetypal perfect man. And you're you. How do you know that your attempts to pull someone up won't instead bring them-or you-further down? Imagine the case of someone supervising and exceptional team of workers, all of them striving towards a collectively held goal; imagine them hard-working, brilliant, creative and unified. But the person supervising is also responsible for someone troubled, who is performing poorly, elsewhere. In a fit of inspiration, the well-meaning manager moves that problematic person into the midst of his stellar team, hoping to improve him by example. What happens? - and the psychological literature is clear on this point. Does the errant interloper immediately straighten up and fly right? No. Instead, the entire team degenerates. The newcomer remains cynical, arrogant and neurotic. He complains. He shirks. He misses important meetings. His low-quality work causes delays, and must be redone by others. He still gets paid, however, just like his teammates. The hard workers who surround him start to feel betrayed. "Why am I breaking myself into pieces striving to finish this project," each thinks, "when my new team member never breaks a sweat?" The same thing happens when well-meaning counsellors place a delinquent teen among comparatively civilized peers. The delinquency spreads, not the stability. Down is a lot easier than up. Maybe you are saving someone because you're a strong, generous, well-put-together person who wants to do the right thing. But it's also possible-and, perhaps, more likely- that you just want to draw attention to your inexhaustible reserves of compassion and good-will. Or maybe you're saving someone because you want to convince yourself that the strength of your character is more than just a side effect of your luck and birthplace. Or maybe it's because it's easier to look virtuous when standing alongside someone utterly irresponsible. Assume first that you are doing the easiest thing, and not the most difficult. Your raging alcoholism makes my binge drinking appear trivial. My long serious talks with you about your badly failing marriage convince both of us that you are doing everything possible and that I am helping you to my utmost. It looks like effort. It looks like progress. But real improvement would require far more from both of you. Are you so sure the person crying out to be saved has not decided a thousand times to accept his lot of pointless and worsening suffering, simply because it is easier than shouldering any true responsibility? Are you enabling a delusion? Is it possible that your contempt would be more salutary than your pity? Or maybe you have no plan, genuine or otherwise, to rescue anybody. You're associating with people who are bad for you not because it's better for anyone, but because it's easier. You know it. Your friends know it. You're all bound by an implicit contract - one aimed at nihilism, and failure, and suffering of the stupidest sort. You've all decided to sacrifice the future to the present. You don't talk about it. You don't all get together and say, "Let's take the easier path. Let's indulge in whatever the moment might bring. And let's agree, further, not to call each other on it. That way, we can more easily forget what we are doing." You don't mention any of that. But you are know what's really going on. Before you help someone, you should find out why that person is in trouble. You shouldn't merely assume that he or she is a noble victim of unjust circumstances and exploitation. It's the most unlikely explanation, not the probably. In my experience-clinical and otherwise-it's just never been that simple. Besides, if you buy the story that everything terrible just happened on its own, with no personal responsibility on the part of the victim, you deny that person all agency in the past (and, by implication, in the present and future, as well). In this manner, you strip him or her of all power. It is far more likely that a given individual has just decided to reject the path upwards, because of its difficulty. Perhaps that should even be your default assumption, when faced with such a situation. That's too harsh, you think. You might be right. Maybe that's a step too far. But consider this: failure is easy to understand. No explanation for its existence is required. In the same manner, fear, hatred, addiction, promiscuity, betrayal and deception require no explanation. It's not the existence of vice, or the indulgence in it, that requires explanation. Vice is easy. Failure is easy, too. It's easier not to shoulder a burden. It's easier not to think, and not to do, and not to care. It's easier to put off until tomorrow what needs to be done today, and drown the upcoming months and years in today's cheap pleasures. As the infamous father of the Simpsons clan puts it, immediately prior to downing a jar of mayonnaise and vodka, "That's a problem for Future Homer. Man, I don't envy that guy!" How do I know your suffering is not demand of martyrdom for my resources, so that you can oh-so-momentarily off the inevitable? Maybe you have even moved beyond caring about the impending collapse, but don't yet want to admit it. Maybe my help won't rectify anything-can't rectify anything- but it does keep that too-terrible, too-personal realization temporarily at bay. Maybe your misery is a demand placed on me so that I fail too, so that the gap you so painfully feel between us can be reduced, while you degenerate and sink. How do I know that you would refuse to play such a game? How do I know that I am not myself pretending to be responsible, while pointlessly "helping" you, so that I don't have to do something truly difficult- and genuinely possible? Maybe your misery is the weapon you brandish in your hatred for those who rose upwards while you waited and sank. Maybe your misery is your attempt to prove the world's injustice, instead of the evidence of your own sin, your own missing of the mark, your conscious refusal to strive and to live. Maybe your willingness to suffer in failure is inexhaustible, given what you use that suffering to prove. Maybe it's your revenge on Being. How exactly should I befriend you when you're in such a place? How exactly could I? Success: that's the mystery. Virtue: that's what's inexplicable. To fail, you merely have to cultivate a few bad habits. You just have to bide your time. And once someone has spent enough time cultivating bad habits and biding their time, they are much diminished. Much of what they could have been has dissipated, and much of the less that they have become is now real. Things fall apart, of their own accord, but the sins of men speed their degeneration. And then comes the flood. I am not saying that there is no hope of redemption. But it is much harder to extract someone from a chasm than to lift him from a ditch. And some chasms are very deep. And there's not much left of the body at the bottom. Maybe I should at least wait, to help you, until it's clear that you want to be helped. Carl Rogers, the famous humanistic psychologist, believed it was impossible to start a therapeutic relationship if the person seeking help did not want to improve. Rogers believed it was impossible to convince someone to change for the better. The desire to improve was, instead, the precondition for progress. I've had court mandated psychotherapy clients. They did not want my help. They were forced to seek it. It was travesty. If I stay in an unhealthy relationship with you, perhaps it's because I'm too weak-willed and indecisive to leave, but I don't want to know it. Thus, I continue helping you, and console myself with my pointless martyrdom. Maybe I can then conclude, about myself, "Someone that self-sacrificing, that willing to help someone- that has to be a good person." Not so. It might be just a person trying to look good pretending to solve what appears to be a difficult problem instead of actually being good and addressing something real. Maybe instead of continuing our friendship I should just go off somewhere, get my act together, and lead by example. And none of of this is justification for abandoning those in real need to pursue your narrow, blind ambition, in case it has to be said.
  3. Right now I am making progress in life in all areas. I am probably at my peak so far in life.
  4. OK I don't know how to delete old posts. I think my posts were a manifestation of my resentments towards certain things and feelings of failure that I will not talk about because it does no good to talk about them here. I don't think my posts were good for the forum. People are social creatures and negative worldviews can spread like disease.
  5. Sorry. I changed my mind. I don't think I should be posting negative posts that could impede other's progress. I am deleting them. I wouldn't look at certain people's forums because they need professional help and I can't help them. I remember that there was someone from the UK who posts nihilistic posts on this forum and apparently tried to commit suicide. We are not psychologists and can't help you with that man. If you want to improve from depression or nihilistic thoughts then get professional help or get help from Cam. I consider Cam to be probably better than the average professional psychologist.
  6. Ajit Pai is pushing a bill in the US to end net neutrality. This means if you own a website, such as this forum, you have to pay the internet providers money or the internet providers will slow down your website. This Bill is an obvious way to cash grab. I just phoned him and said "fuck you Ajit Pai, Fuck you". If I need to say fuck you to someone, I will say fuck you. I won't hold back from now on. And fuck obama fuck hillary fuck trump he pretends he is against the establishment but he is the fucking establishment.
  7. "Anger is a very toxic emotion and causes heart problems. It’s like driving a car and step on the brake. If you stay like that for 10 years, you will age 20 years and that’s a bad plan." - Jordan Peterson I am using Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring program, and it helped me a lot with dealing with anger. In the past, I get very angry when I think about the past, and I have ADD so I keep thinking about the past. Quitting games and meditating didn't help and maybe made things worse. Jordan Peterson speaks honestly and don't give a shit about offending social justice warriors. I am extremely inspired by him. And he is an experienced psychologist so his university lectures helped me a lot with my mind. When some people do something that bothers me I will speak up or do something about it. I can't be a pushover or I will feel mad, and if I get mad I am doing damage to my heart which can shorten my lifespan.
  8. I'm looking into investing in bitcoin. hmm..
  9. This is the gender pronouns that we have to remember and use to address gender binary people here in Canada. It is the law. We can be fined and go to jail if we don't use this. I memorized the table and I'm 100% totally okay with using it and calling people by their preferred pronouns even without the threat of being finned. But when some people spoke out against this law, the social justice warriors called them transphobic bigots and try to censor them and get them fired from their jobs. I support free speech so don't think people who spoke out against this law should be persecuted.
  10. This is so motivational! In other news, people who disagree with Jordan Peterson's views recently made posters of him being hitler.
  11. I'm quite grateful that the sexual harrassment and pedophilia in Hollywood is finally being revealed. Harley Weinstein got accused by 30+ women for sexual assault now! WTF? 30+??!! How did he get away with this for so long? Kevin Spacey recently got accused of sexually assaulting someone who was 14 year old boy at that time and he tried to cover it up by announcing he was gay. I'm also very grateful for the Ex. CIA Agent for revealing that the CIA supplies elite pedophiles with children. This could reduce the amount of child abuse in the world. I'm happy and I'm happy that the CIA agent didn't die from the traffic accident he was involved in earlier this week. http://www.nnettle.com/news/3029-cia-agent-blows-the-whistle-we-supply-elite-pedophiles-with-children- I'm very grateful that all of this is coming to light. I feel very happy about the world and I have been fairy positive
  12. I see the logic in this and it is great that you'll process your feelings into something more productive. I see the logic of resistance training with stressful thoughts but I doubt that it is helpful if yu'll have no way to measure your success. Can you specify the amount of stress a youtube video produces. Or how your stress level diminishes if you watch more later on? Maybe of there are finer ways to develop resistance against stress. Exercise for example is shown to decrease the general stress level. Is there a common theme in what leads to anxiety and this anger? What is the root cause for you getting angry? At this work your meditation practice can come in handy because it'll help you to observe yourself. I am usually getting pissed if I am feeling insecure. For example if my wife points out what still needs to be done, I tend to criticize myself for not doing it all ready or feel guilty. In the moment this leads to snapping and aggression. Another common thing is a relation to stress. Are there a lot of stress factors in your life? something traumatic? Or maybe ur feeling vulnerable or sad and to mask this feeling you go towards anger. I just pinpoint this different root causes for anger because I have no idea what is yours. You'll need to find it if you want to get on top of this thing. Anger is never a good emotion, not even as motivation. I don't say don't criticize bad things. Or stop feeling bad for people. But if it affects you in a way that it affect your personal life in a negative way it is destructive. congrats of geting married How's things going with you and your wife? I think you were doing a master's degree? How's that going? I was an angry person since as long as I remember. My stress training have helped me immensely. I'm not going to be a fragile snowflake that don't read about politics and news and believe whatever fairy tale I want because the truth triggers me. I do exercise almost every day. I will try to do it daily so that I have more energy. My hope is to be able to have the time to spare to finish everything I want to do and make more political youtube videos. It's easy to not be stressed if you avoid everything that is stressful and focus on yourself and the happiness of those close to you. That's great but that is also why there are so many problems in the world. I'm also a very disagreeable person and before when I agreed and followed Cam's advice or advice from people I get very demotivated. I think this is good because I'm from China if I was born before China's communist revolution, I would be one of the few people disagreeing with the propaganda and executions of intellectuals. Millions of people died from Mao's regime. Fuck China's propaganda and censorship. This is relevant today because even the past few years many people died to genocides. The buddhists are committing genocide in Myanmar right now. Edit: I have nothing against fragile snowflakes. I was a flagile snowflake social justice warrior before so I understand. Maybe I still am but I'm trying to build emotional toughness. I don't hate people on the left (I'm on the left too) and I don't think there is anything wrong with being very sensitive.
  13. I take deep breathes and I use the gratefulness journal. I have quit games and meditated for over 7 months and it didn't help much with my anxiety and angry thoughts. I'm trying out my new idea of channeling my anger and boredom into into politics. I started a youtube account but I have only made 2 videos so far. I will continue looking at youtube videos because I need is to develop resistance to stressful thoughts rather than avoiding them. I don't want a safespace!
  14. Today I'm grateful for: Being able to talk about political things with my wife and family. It's hard to find people who can listen to your political views and still view you as a person if they disagree with it. This goes against human nature. But I want to be beyond my human instincts and I watch right wing videos and read right wing news all the time even if I agree with the left. Some people on the left care about diversity, but despises the diversity of opinions. This means there will be fewer political discussions. Because if you bring up something they don't agree with they will try to get you fired. It's like how the DNC is purging Bernie supporters and replacing them with corporate shills from a diverse gender and racial background. The DNC and the republicans are like the exact same fucking corporatist party. At this point, the only disagreement between them are identity politics. And free speech is several times worse in China. 2. Bill Gates, because he donates almost all of his money. And he is the second richest person right now. 3. Elon Musk - inspiration 4. Demitirious Johnson - inspiration 5. Jordan Peterson and his product Self Authoring. Really helping me 6. Youtube. It allows independent media, which is an alternative to corporate big media propaganda. Humans are not born evil. But human nature is easy to manipulate. Allow me to show you how: Do you have friends? Will you stick by your friends? Then you could've been a Nazi. That's how Hitler manipulated Hitler's Youth. Hitler's Youth are mostly 16-18 year old young men recruited as soldiers. They are told to do increasingly inhumane acts of violence, and they are told that they can leave anytime. Why don't they leave? Because they are sticking up for their comrades. That's one of the ways you get sucked into a corruption scheme. You don't want to betray your friends. Don't tell me corruption is not real, that conspiracy theories are all not real, I have seen corruption happen in person a few times bydifferent companies or persons and I simply did not whistle blow because I am not a selfless hero.
  15. I stopped playing chess now. I stopped gaming for 7 months this year. I know people think conspiracy theorists are crazy but luckily for you they will be killled Daphne Galizia, who exposed the panama paper, got killed in a car bomb last week. https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/10/16/world/europe/daphne-caruana-galizia-journalist-malta.html Corey Feldman who is trying to sue his pedophile rapist is getting killed too I am very inspired by corey feldman! He is so strong despite being abused as a child! https://vigilantcitizen.com/latestnews/woman-leading-flint-water-poisoning-lawsuit-found-shot-dead-home/ I'm going to face the realities of the world we live in. This is not fairy tale and evil is human nature, and having power enables people to act out their evil ideas. I will not play games to medicate myself. I choose how I want to feel, and I want to feel calm despite not turning away from knowledge. I'm going to work hard now and then work out.