Family Member is addicted to games. What do I do as a sister?

[Frigga Stiglitz]

Hi. I live with my brother for a while now. I'm 19 and he is 33. He is not addicted to a variety of games. He plays the same since 2010, but my guess is that he got reaaally addicted in the year of 2014. 

Our relationship is cracking down each day. I'm younger than him and I don't know much what I can do. I already talked to him and he was honest: "no way for me to stop playing this game". He is hooked for life. 

He believes in trying to achieve a balance between gaming and personal life. I believe it's possible, but in his case I'm not sure if it's safe to count on that. The risks are high at this point. 

He sleeps poorly, don't study or work. I can't continue with my life ignoring this issue. I feel kinda responsible. 

Anyone with similar story? Please share. Appreciate the work you all do. 

 

 

[Cam Adair]

Hi, thanks for opening up and sharing here. Many other members will chime in with their perspectives, but I just wanted to give you a few resources quick: I have a list of tips that will help you here. And a video that can help here. If you really want to understand video game addiction a deeper level, my Reclaim guide is helpful (written for parents but it will work for siblings too), as is my keynote here.

[Frigga Stiglitz]

I don't know why my answer is hidden...

Thanks a lot for the answer! 

I like the idea of focusing on my life and become my best to inspire my brother and others. However I have a hard time because I live with him. Every night I hear him playing and talking to the computer. Every time he hits hard in the keyboard is a hammer in my head telling me "he is drowning and you are not helping him". I struggle not being anxious and depressed as well. 

There was a time that he would talk to me about the issue. I would stop everything that I was doing to listen, to talk, to reflect. But it came to a point where I just could not stop to talk to him. I had to work, I had to deliver my product, I had to study for my finals. I was overwhelmed and asked him to stop talking to me, to endure a little bit because it was too much for me. So he closed himself. The silence is just as bad as talking about it. 

He doesn't talk to his terapist (he goes there for over a year and never brought up this issue). I bought a notebook for him to start a writing journal and got zero proaction. I think the best time was when both of us engaged in martial arts, but it didn't lasted much longer either. 

The feeling I get it's just everything is so volatile. Positive podcasts, optimistical movies or exercises aren't enough in the long term. He always come back to the gaming. And don't seem interested in english content either (even that we don't have much great content in portuguese).

I understad the reasons and triggers behind the addiction. The problem is not the game itself. It's a lifestory challenge that he has to overcome to succed. 

I will try to interact with him more time outside of the house. Will write the updates in here when possible. 

It's easy to feel without options. But I don't want to quit so soon. Hope this thread help me out and others as well. Every sugetion will be highly appreciated.  

[Hitaru]

Welcome to the forum!

First of all what you're doing is really brave and admirable. It's really easy to feel overwhelmed and give up on people suffering from addictions, to look away and hope it gets better, or even worse, to take personal responsibility and blame. It is not your fault. It's the first thing you need to acknowledge. It will be difficult for you to help your brother, and the chance will drop to 0% if you start from a victim/guilty position. 

Thaaat being said, my experience with family members is limited. Right now I come as a moderator, just to tell you that if you plan to post regularly, you should open a thread in the main section or a journal; people only drop here to say hi to newcomers. Threads in the main section can be more specific but the journal section is more populated (and popular) so you can choose accordingly.

Hope to see you around, and good luck for you and your brother! You two deserve better!

[Frigga Stiglitz]

Thanks a lot for the directions, Hitaru! I will study which alternative is more apropriate in this forum to conect my story with as many people as possible. 

Thanks for the positive words.