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Lestrange's strange journaling journey


B_Lestrange
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So I decided not to take my iPad with me on my trip to see my parents. I did, however, load a simple puzzle game on my iPhone. During the time I was there, I'd say I spent a good 3-4 hours of each day vegging out watching TV with them. I only spent SOME of that time dual-screening. Most of it involved watching the game shows they'd DVR'd...and competing with them on the answers. It reminded me that this love of gaming is something I actually inherited, because we used to do this (watch game shows and try to answer the questions) when I was a kid. It was a lot of fun, then and now.

I've been home for a few days now. I haven't taken the game off my phone; in fact I've actually played a little bit each night after work. However, at least right now, I don't see myself spending hours upon hours playing, the way I used to. For one thing, I simply have too much to do. I've got several different personal projects going on plus work is kicking up quite a bit. The one thing I could probably stand to do is get out and meet people (as much as possible given that we're still in a pandemic), but for now I'm experiencing a level of personal and professional satisfaction that I haven't felt in a very long time.

I'm not going to say I've fallen off the wagon...because I'm nowhere near where I was when I first discovered GQ in an attempt to regain some control over my life. I will say that I'm trying to see if I can truly become a "healthy gamer." Only time will tell...

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Yesterday, I spent a total of four hours playing this one puzzle game on my iPhone. Despite my best efforts -- "it's a holiday weekend! give yourself a break! stop being so hard on yourself!" -- I went to bed feeling bad about myself, thinking I'd wasted four hours.

This morning, I deleted the game from my phone. I'm giving myself credit for recognizing it and taking the correct action. "Healthy gaming" for me may mean playing once every once in a while.

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10 hours ago, B_Lestrange said:

Yesterday, I spent a total of four hours playing this one puzzle game on my iPhone. Despite my best efforts -- "it's a holiday weekend! give yourself a break! stop being so hard on yourself!" -- I went to bed feeling bad about myself, thinking I'd wasted four hours.

This morning, I deleted the game from my phone. I'm giving myself credit for recognizing it and taking the correct action. "Healthy gaming" for me may mean playing once every once in a while.

I relate to this and previous post! 

I honestly no longer can justify playing games pretty much at all. With how much I value other activities, and how much the gaming addiction has harmed my relationship with gaming, even playing for a couple hours every other month gives me guilt. Though, in the last months, I've been able to develop a healthier relationship with gaming, I think that playing games is just not a part of who I am anymore. I still follow development cycles of certain games (because I find gamedev intriguing and inspiring), and my favorite music is all from video game soundtracks. For me, gaving a healthy relationship with gaming does not mean playing them, but rather adding parts of the game experience (that speak to me the most as a musician, artist, and an overall curious learner) into my life. 

I would encourage you to keep thinking of what exactly you think is irreplaceable for you in gaming, because there are a few things unique to this digital medium, but there are also a lot of similar activities that cover the same area; I've been enjoying watching people play board games instead of searching through twitch streams, for example. But, video game soundtracks have very unique qualities that other music cannot replicate. 

Cheers!

Po

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