A new way

[Pigeon]

Day 1 / 3. August 2016

Alright, it's still hard for me to write down and telling others something about me and my life, but it actually feels good.

So, yesterday I didn't play any game, but I start my journey today. I've got a lot of ideas and things to do in my head.

Today I woke and got up at 5am in my holidays, a nice feeling. Last night i decided to get me Respawn, so I'm going to read some sites today. Mediation is something I need again, too. Also I have to draw something today, there are a lot of crazy pictures in my head that want to be drawn.

[Cam Adair]

Great job starting your journal

[Pigeon]

Day 2  is almost finished, without gaming.

Again I got up at 5.30am, and there was sooo much time to do something. Of course, first I cleaned up my laptop and phone from all games. Now they are really empty, kinda scary. I also unsubscribed from any gaming mails and stoped to watch my loved Let's Plays. So after that there was much time that wanted to be filled with new activities, I draw something and took some deep breaths outside of my house. The emotions in my head are crazy, it feels like my brain spins all the day. So I gonna take some minutes for meditation before sleep.

[Cam Adair]

Yes, meditation will be great for you right now. Any idea what other activities you're going to choose?

[Pigeon]

It was very hard to dont move for 10 minutes, but i will continue that, the instructions of headspace are a nice help.

I'm thinking about improving my english skills, it could be useful for the future. And also I really want to learn a instrument for a long time (we have guitar and keyboard) or to start to learn how I can producing some simple electronic music (actually love DnB, but no equipment), I only must overcome my laziness.

[AlexTheGrape]

Hi Tom! Good on you for starting a journal, it'll really help with getting support from other members and keeping you accountable.

If you get started on an instrument or creating electronic music, you'll not only create positive experiences for yourself, but also skills that you can develop further and apply elsewhere in your life.

All the best for your detox!

[Cam Adair]

It was very hard to dont move for 10 minutes, but i will continue that, the instructions of headspace are a nice help.

Yes, meditation is not easy but the challenge of it is how you grow and improve!

[Pigeon]

Day 3 was very unexciting, and unproductive.

The whole day there was anger and exhaustion in my body, but didn't exactly know why. Just found some interesting speeches of Alan Watts on Youtube. But I also noticed me browsing mindlessly. I'm gonna to meditate again before sleep to calm down a bit.

[Cam Adair]

The first few weeks you will experience withdrawal symptoms, so hang in there. Exercise helps a lot. If you want to read a study about gaming cravings and withdrawal symptoms check the description of my latest YouTube video. Link is there (on mobile atm).

[Pigeon]

Day 4

I read the study about cravings and withdrawal symptoms with much favor. It is very nive that the topic of gaming addiction getting more and more attention. I try to just accept these symptoms and let them come and go, and to take my focus to other activities. The last days I was thinking about me and my view on this world and wrote down some thoughts. I realized that I'm a person who is very ingestible/suggestible to any kind of stimulation. So now I'm thinking about to also stop watching TV and masturbating.

 

[Cam Adair]

Awesome insights Tom! 

[Pigeon]

Day 5

I almost was outside all the day so there was no time to think about games, and it was relaxing. I enjoyed the day because tomorrow starts school again, there will be less time to work on myself. So I planned to save my schedule in a calendar to get aware of the free time I will have.

[Cam Adair]

So I planned to save my schedule in a calendar to get aware of the free time I will have.

Awesome! A schedule makes a huge difference for me. One of my cornerstone habits.

[Pigeon]

Day 6 of detox.

My mood is getting better, I'm happy that I made it 6 days in a row without games or gaming videos. But, school has startet again and there is already a lot of work to do.

I'm also very thankful that I found this community. Since I started with that journal I'm feeling more responsible for my life.

[Cam Adair]

Great job Tom!

[Reno F]

Day 6 of detox.

My mood is getting better, I'm happy that I made it 6 days in a row without games or gaming videos. But, school has startet again and there is already a lot of work to do.

I'm also very thankful that I found this community. Since I started with that journal I'm feeling more responsible for my life.

I still remember clearly how I felt so alive after my first week of detox! Keep it up, Tom!

[Pigeon]

Day 7, yes! One whole week.

At the moment no part of my body, not even my mind wants to go back to the games. I know, that enthusiasm will change in some situations in the future, but I'm very optimistic. Also it feels like some inner tensions released the last days. I'm less anxious while sitting in school or walking outside.

And I just want to thank you guys. I know, I'm not a very talkative person and have some problems with sharing my emotions. But it cheers me up every time I see someone has liked my journal or commented on.

[Cam Adair]

I know, that enthusiasm will change in some situations in the future, but I'm very optimistic.

It's awesome to have you here with us. Just remember if you focus less on your commitment being conditional on your "enthusiasm" and instead you focus on your commitment being unconditional, that will help a lot.

[Pigeon]

Already Day 8.

I'm getting more effective in doing my homework. I realize it is not that hard to get some more time for myself.

There is a new game outside I awaited some weeks ago, and today it was very chellenging to not watch any let's play of the game, but I resisted.

I also started my "english word book", every time I see a word I don't know I write it in that book with a translation. Maybe it will help me to improve my english, and to get away from google translate.

[Fagus]

I also started my "english word book", every time I see a word I don't know I write it in that book with a translation. Maybe it will help me to improve my english, and to get away from google translate.

That is something I also thought about! I'm using my internet dictionary a lot when I write something for my journal.

[Cam Adair]

Good job resisting the temptation to watch the Let's Plays. So many other things you can do that are aligned with your values.

[Pigeon]

Day 9

Already I was on the mood "No, I'm too depressed to write in my journal". But I think it is laziness. And it wont get me any further, so I forced me to write at least something, I will not break the chain. Since yesterday I thought about social anxiety. But, I couldn't find some good reasons why I should be anxious in present of other people. But it is still a part of my everyday life. I can talk to others, but there is always a voice in my head which is telling me "don't make something wrong, don't say something wrong, be nice to everyone". I will make that to my next task, to fight that over-cautious voice.

[Pigeon]

Day 10

I reached a weekend after 5 days of school. Normally I would spend this time by playing or watching some games. So I have to find some activities next to homework to not get bored.

[Cam Adair]

Yes finding things to do on the weekend is crucial. Good job posting and keeping the chain. That type of attitude will continue to help you shine.

[Pigeon]

Day 11

Instead of gaming all night I spent this evening sitting outside with my family and watching the sky. It is kinda fascinating to look the stars and into the space. Problems on earth (and mine) seem very unimportant in view of the endless sky. I think I will build up the telescope the next days.