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seriousjay

Relapse again.

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Since I quit again two Sundays ago, the dominant thought in my mind was back towards the game I was playing before I quit. To be honest, I haven't really felt good about this attempt at quitting after the first couple of days. My intention with this relapse is to find closure with this game, and then be done with it. If I find the motivation to quit before that point, I will do so.

I did discuss with my accountability partner about this extensively, and he mentioned that I won't ever find closure (if I did, it would have happened already). I accept that and the risk that this could go even deeper.

I haven't tried moderation before, so this will be my attempt to do so. My plan to that end is to have a specific set of goals to accomplish each day (for example, visualization, meditation, etc.) and not allow myself to game until those goals have been met.

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The harder it is to finish the detox, the more you need to finish it. If you want to find closure, finish the detox and then go finish the game. Doing so beforehand is just a silly justification and you know that. Same way it worked last time. ;)

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