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Luny's Ledger


Luny
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On 2/1/2022 at 5:34 PM, Luny said:

I need to reconnect with my body. I have been avoiding it because my leg injury from my fall 6 months ago... is STILL healing. 🤕 Movement would be most helpful.

As a soon to be doctor I'd like to ask: What exactly did happen? bone fracture? It is actually highly recommended to cut down immobilisation time after these injuries, go through a rehabilitation program with intense workouts AND relaxation time. Furthermore applying pressure on a healing fracture activates osteoblasts which helps to regain the original shape. If the initial pain never subsided may go and see a competent orthopedist as there might be the chance of a pseudarthrosis.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 2/2/2022 at 3:53 PM, Marius said:

As a soon to be doctor I'd like to ask: What exactly did happen? bone fracture? It is actually highly recommended to cut down immobilisation time after these injuries, go through a rehabilitation program with intense workouts AND relaxation time. Furthermore applying pressure on a healing fracture activates osteoblasts which helps to regain the original shape. If the initial pain never subsided may go and see a competent orthopedist as there might be the chance of a pseudarthrosis.

In May 13, 2021, I had a nightmare in my sleep, and thought I was killing a snake in a field of grass. I jumped out of bed and was disoriented as to which side I was on. I fell with my full weight on my left knee and shin. Then I faceplanted into my tall, wooden jewelry armoir which I directly hit with the bridge of my nose. Then it tipped over and fell on my head. I certainly should win the gold medal and clumsiness!

My knee and calf swelled up and I ended up with 2 lovely black eyes. I went to the hospital and was xrayed and had CAT scan. My knee and leg was not broken--just badly swollen. Of course I had a concussion and now I rock a Harry Potter-esque scar on my forehead. Luckily I got bangs cut to cover that up. Thirty days later, my knee started oozing a brown liquid. Slow at first, then profusely. My knee had gotten infected. So they hospitalized me for 6 days and had me on IV antibiotics. An orthopedic surgeon did surgery on my knee to clean out infection. Then they put a wound vacuum on my knee for 37 days. When it came off, it was August 2021. Definitely took weeks to get my strength back. My calf still swelled so he had an MRI done. Prognosis: deep hematoma trauma which will take time to heal.

It amazes me how a simple fall in my bedroom turned into a three month ordeal. Crazy shit!

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So-----I am popping in for a quick update!

My life is all about writing & being an author right now. Taking 2 classes for authors. Boy, they are keeping me busy.

So tired of winter in upstate NY.

Off to my niece's wedding in Florida next month.

Gaming? What the hell is that? Life is busy and good--without it. 😀

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  • 3 weeks later...

This morning I watched Cam's new video on 2 million views on his Tedx talk and what he learned. I too felt grateful about my recent success jumping off the hamster-on-a-wheel mindless gaming cycle.

I have tried quitting numerous times and I was unsuccessful. This time, I changed my approach. Instead of the all or nothing approach (I must quit 100% to find success), I modified it and tried the "weaning myself off game dependence" approach. Much to my surprise, it ended up working.

I had a dear gaming friend of mine log into my account and put parental controls on it. Basically I wanted to be blocked out of gaming so I could use most of daylight hours to work on writing a novel. I gave my friend the hours I wanted available for gaming and we tweaked it once. I might add that my friend is not an easy push-over. (The yahoo even blocking me for shopping on Blizzard's website. LOL)

So we designed the times M-Fri 3-8 and Sat & Sun-1-9. When we started this in January, I was freaking out with anxiety inside. Coffee and playing wow was my ideal morning being retired for the last 3 years. I was so bitchy I couldn't even stand myself (I live alone), but I persisted and pushed through it. I have started taking a class a writing a novel that started in February-- I am down to the last 3 weeks of it. It has been a huge amount of work but I have learned so much! And my novel process is inching along quite nicely.

It is funny looking at the wow hours I have given to myself, because now I allow myself one hour a day to play--if I want to, that is. Some days I don't feel like playing...and I don't. Some days I do, but honestly I can only tolerate 1 hour.  I still enjoy the one hour to relax and "forget" the world. But it is "enough." I usually like to put my one hour in from 3-4pm. It breaks up my day.

For me, this is success.

I hope that one day I might not even need/want that one hour a day gaming... but baby-steps.

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  • 3 weeks later...

March has been a busy month for me. My main push was getting the outline for my novel completed. The novel outline includes the main genre plot along with sub-genre plots and main character arcs...and it is broken into scenes, not chapters. I just finished mine yesterday on March 22. Next step is to finish classwork to module 6 this week. Then Sunday I get back to writing my rough draft. I have planned out that it will take me 3 months work to complete 80,000 words.

As you can see, completing this goal of writing a novel has been my main focus. If I was gaming like usual, my dream would not be happening.

I had a rough 2 weeks healing my bronchitis. One day I just felt like gaming since I was stressed and sick. My friend went to alter the parental control of my gaming account, and he felt I was doing do well...he took them all off. So how do you think I handled that?

The same way I have-- allowing myself 1 hour to game per day, if I feel up to it. If I do not feel like playing, I skip it.

My priority is getting enough rest to get up early and start my day writing. I will admit that it is nice to to be able to choose the time I put my hour in.

I know most gamers need to quit cold turkey to get control of their addiction, and I do understand that. Maybe because I am now at the older age of 62, I'd rather moderate my gaming so I can fully reach my goals.

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On 3/23/2022 at 3:40 PM, Luny said:

I know most gamers need to quit cold turkey to get control of their addiction, and I do understand that. Maybe because I am now at the older age of 62, I'd rather moderate my gaming so I can fully reach my goals.

if you can moderate without missing meals or bedtimes I say go for it, I would love to be that guy.  I have actually moderated pretty good in the past but the problem is I can only moderate for a brief time before things escalate rather quickly.

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  • 3 weeks later...

April has not been a stellar month for me for several reasons. In March I was down to one hour of gaming a day and working on my novel. Some days, I'd even skip gaming. Then my friend who placed the parental controls on my wow account, thought I was doing so well, that he thought it was time to turn them off. In my heart, I kind of knew that it was not a good idea, but I agreed with him to try it. Around the same my author's class that I was taking for 8 weeks ended the end of March. It was a relief, but I found myself flopping into a slump of depression-like symptoms. Of course, I gravitated to play more wow, an hour in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Of course I wrestled with myself about the extra gaming time in my heart and head. I knew it wasn't what I wanted to be doing.

I have been trying to get back into the writing mode but I can't seem to find my writing mojo. Insecurities in my head tell me I am a shitty writer, etc. Luckily my writing instructor started a writing lab  and I joined it. It is a commitment I need so I can work with like-minded individuals who will help each other along on this journey.

So I emailed my friend, to lock my account with limited evening hours of wow... and that went into effect today. So I will go back to my one hour a day of play.

I would LOVE to quit wow permanently. But I am divorced and live in a rural area, and there are few opportunities for socialization at my age. So wow has been a "crutch" for that reason. Most of my friends are married and have families and very busy lives. In contrast, I am single with no children and retired.  Plus I am a hard core introvert. Now that spring is here, I have pushed myself to do some things. I went out to lunch alone the other day and ran into my cousin and her friend. So I dined with them and made a new friend. Baby steps.

My 3 bedroom house is way too big for me alone. I will sell it in a year or two after I complete a few home projects and down-size my "stuff."

My plan is to get a small apartment in a local city with will be closer to appointments and society. Perhaps then I could find some things to keep my busy like volunteer work for animals or part-time tutoring.

le sigh. I feel like a hopeless mess, but I know that is not true. I am a work-in-progess.

 

 

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