Luny's Ledger

[Luny]

Today is my Day 1.

I feel sad. Yet I feel free. I contacted my 3 gaming friends and emailed them as to why I walked away from the game. Felt like the thing to do. 

I cancelled my wow 6 month subscription- which ends Dec. 26th. Now I am trying to get the courage to delete the game... (UPDATE: game, mods, and miscellaneous stuff all deleted.)

Cut and paste this here to remind me:

Why I need to quit:

• more time to complete "wants" and "shoulds"
• work on improving health with regular exercise
• eat plant-based and try new recipes
• work on finishing novel #1
• simplify life
• plan trip in future to Scotland to visit castles

 

What projects I need to complete:

• cleaning out closets- donating extra clothes and shoes
• sort through office clutter
• finish Scrivner class- 1 & 2
• finish Plottr class
• sort through books- donate?
• clean the house- room by room
• paint stair case

Edited December 7, 2021 by Luny

[Marius]

Is there a way to ask the support to delete your account?

[Luny]

2 minutes ago, Marius said:

Is there a way to ask the support to delete your account?

I don't know.

 

[Marius]

5 hours ago, Luny said:

I don't know.

 

try it

[Luny]

I do have cold symptoms and feel crappy tonight...so I will keep this short.

Got things accomplished in am.  Worked on Cam's videos and 2 modules.

Ran some errands to pharmacy and post office in afternoon. Came home and read in bed and rested.

Dinner, cleaned up kitchen, watched news. Still feel crappy. Heading to bed early.

Day 1 of no wow gaming.

[Luny]

Early AM of my Day2.

I'll be honest, I was worried because coffee & wow in the morning was my fav time to play since I retired.

So I have my coffee but instead chose to work on some forum replies and then work on Cam's videos and Module work. Then I will get my day started.

I have some cleaning projects and chores that I have neglected because I can be the Queen of Procrastination.

[Luny]

I planned out the next two months of writing to complete my novel by the end of January. Since I am a new author, I did not want to burden myself trying to complete it in a month. I use Pacemaker Planner to do it.

You can see my calendar here.

Edited December 8, 2021 by Luny

[Luny]

On 12/7/2021 at 8:20 PM, Marius said:

try it

Honestly, I'd rather not go digging into their website. I am afraid I would get too tempted and get triggered from graphics, ads, story, etc.

[Marius]

 

[Luny]

Well, I relapsed the other day.

I was impatiently awaiting the repairman. My office has my home phone in it and overlooks the driveway. I re-downloaded game. (Marius was right. Drat!) He did arrive 1 1/2 days later. And I am relieved the repair is done.

To be perfectly honest, I have mixed feelings. I played off and on during the waiting for repairmen period, but not non-stop. 

I DO look at time differently now. I am really enjoying getting real life things crossed off my to do list this week:

• cleaned my bedroom so it was spotless
• cleaned upstairs bathroom off my bedroom (the repairman had to repair the toilet tank)
• cleaned downstairs
• grabbed some groceries between storms and got mail at post office
• worked on research for novel- involving airports and places for helicopter landings

 

I *may* have been exposed to covid a few days ago. I went to my pharmacy to pick up a prescription. The guy who waited on me, tested positive for covid. He was behind a big plexiglass shield, and I am vaccinated and got my my booster. So I assume I am okay. Time will tell.

Not sure what I will do...next. Pondering that...

 

[Marius]

Well, good that you keep writing. Ask yourself what you missed during the time when you had to wait that your brain thought could be best fulfilled by WoW. Being satisfied by time periods where there is not much happening or that really don't look that interesting and rather boring or without social contact is something where I have to work on definitely. In my opinion life has accelerated really fast during the last few years and slow transitions or tasks that take much time are unfamiliar to our brain now. Especially given how electronics can help you to overcome any kind of boredom in a couple of seconds. Attention economy is in full force. There are certain kind of interactions that are just unhealthy for your brain and which strengthen those patterns of getting the quick buzz. I'm struggling with YouTube atm for example.

What I highly recommend for you is to create a higher barrier of entry for those digital applications/website which you like to avoid. You have just proven empirically that the one you tried before was unsuccessful. So delete the account. It will only take you about five minutes and there might be a time frame where the account is put on hold before there is no going back but it is the right step forwards.

[Luny]

Well, I am alive, but not unscathed. 🤪

The month of December has put me through the wringer. But yet, I persist. 👏

                                             Dec 2021

·         Caught a cold

·         Dr. tweaks blood pressure meds every couple days

·         12/11/21 7 hour power outage

·         Infection

·         Pick up medication and get exposed to covid at pharmacy

·         12/13/21 power outage 5 min

·         Quarantine for 10 days

·         Desperately need groceries but I am quarantined. grrrr

·         Pink eye

·         12/21 furnace does not work (house 46 degrees inside)

·         Get power back on and 12/21/21 5 min power outage

 

I have kept myself busy. I have not totally stopped gaming nor committed to try. I have been holding on to my sanity by a thread this month and did not want pull a way from coming mechanisms.

 

 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Luny

[The_Creative_Quitter]

Ouch, Hang in there...

[Nico Indigo]

Hi Luny,

I'm just here to show support and offer my ear if you want to talk. 

I'm following your journal, I love reading you. 

Hanhg in there!

P.S. deleting your account is also what I'd suggest you do. It's what I did. I even got my account banned in Smite and LOL.

[Luny]

Thanks, Nico Indigo. 

I finally found my way back to the website, literally., after a technical problem with Firefox. Chrome FTW, but I hate chrome.

Sunday I had a dear friend log into my account account and put parental controls on it. My reasoning is this: I cannot play wow during the day now and it will force me to write. No it isn't ideal, but sadly I do need a little gaming in my life to keep me sane. I am hopeful that will change in the future. It is winter in the rural area in which I live and my friends still work, whereas I am an older gal and retired. Add in a pandemic and social distancing... with being a divorced gal (no kids) and only 2 family members left, life can be a bit lonely. 

I eased back into writing my novel yesterday. Chap 3 and 4 are written. Yay! Today I am onto chapter 5 and this afternoon I am taking a one day class for writers online, a freebie. Slowly I am moving back to my goals.

I will keep you posted now that I can log back into gamequitters website again. 🙂

[Luny]

Now that I made it back to gamequitters,  I can pick up Mod 4 where I left off! 

[Nico Indigo]

If you're able to balance you're gaming, then more power to you! I never was. Once I start playing just a little bit, I wanna play all the time. And contrats on your writting 😄 

[Luny]

I feel beat up today--emotionally, by myself. Ugh. 🤕

I faced reality and honestly it wasn't pretty.

Let me explain-- I feel like a lunatic inside. All by my own doing.

So I have survived the first week of parental controls on my account wow. The times were skewed a bit too late and screwed up my regular schedule in life.  My friend and I discussed it, and he made of few tweaks to the playtime. Did it help? Yes. I can now cook and eat dinner at the normal time. But then I came right back to my thought when I joined respawn--- why the hell do I bother to play at all?

Even though I enjoy my writing time and doing real life stuff, when I do play wow it makes me feel so retentive via my inner monologue: You are so behind on all your toons. You only do dailies on 2 a day. You had time to farm but now you out of mats and flasks. etc etc etc The 9.2 patch is due to come out and you are not ready...

I am literally making myself a nervous wreck because I am still the hamster on the wheel-- half the time.

I took a freebie writing course this week which was amazing. I then signed up to do her paid course which is a 2 month commitment. So my life is gearing up with upcoming change and I also started chapter 6 in my novel.

Why is it so hard to shed a habit that has outgrown its use/need?

[Luny]

On 1/20/2022 at 4:00 PM, Nico Indigo said:

If you're able to balance you're gaming, then more power to you! I never was. Once I start playing just a little bit, I wanna play all the time. And contrats on your writting 😄 

I am not being successful with balancing. I may be a Libra, but I suck at walking a tightrope...

[Luny]

This evening was rather relaxing. I ate dinner watching TV and got interested in a TV show. I actually watched 2 episodes and enjoyed it. I dvr'ed the third to watch tomorrow.

Felt good.

[Luny]

I felt a spark inside today regarding my writing. 

I was watching the video of the writing class I missed on Sunday--and it was a really important class. In the middle of watching the video, I got so excited as if a spark hit my brain... I had to pause the video and open up my chapter 1.  I found myself looking at it with "different eyes." I immediately started typing away fixing X and tweaking Z. I was very pleased with my improvements.

 

[Luny]

Luny update:

• Parental controls working for me. At first, I was miffed that I agreed to it. Truth is, I asked my friend to do it. But now, I LOVE it. In week 2, it is weaning me off the desire to play. I  enjoy being productive during the day. Sometimes I am so busy in a task, that I forget that I can log into the game to play. 
• A fog has lifted from my brain. You know the feeling...when you game and forget real world responsibilities and people...when you are in the "zone." I have more clarity.
• Chap 6 of the novel I am writing is completed! I was stuck after the first 2 chapters, so I am glad that I was able to break through that hurdle last week. Today I am onto chapter 7. I set up my progress calendar by word count. I wish I did it by chapter.
• Winter is here in upstate NY. A Canadian cold front has been bringing cold air down from the North. Right now it is -7 F. The temperature is really cramping my routine and errands.

Edited January 27, 2022 by Luny
removed link for my progress calendar

[Nico Indigo]

Hey Luny! I'm a libra too and balance never really was my forte either, not for gaming anyway. hahaha

I can be balanced in other things, but not with gaming. I'm very intense in general. I dive all the way into everything I do. 

I think WoW is one of those games that siphons your life away. If you play casualy, you're just gonna suck. Well, that's how I used to see it. I always wanted to be amongst the best.

If you don't want to stop all together, maybe try another game, maybe single player games, like Dragon Age or something. You can always pause and come back later and not feel like you've missed out on so many things.

I hope you're well.

Peace.

 

[Luny]

Wanted to share something that was funny, but in a cool way.

Sunday I was busy--with an afternoon writing class, plus chores.

Monday I accidentally slept late, got up, and hit the floor running with to-do's. My second writer's class officially started Monday 1/31. It wasn't until 3PM that I realized that I hadn't turned on my cell phone. I flicked it on and had a text from my online friend in wow, the friend who set up the parental controls on my account. His text said, "Are you alive? I have not seem you online all weekend."

I responded that I was busy with writing course #1 and course #2 and that I am on chapter 7 of my novel. He was happy that my interests have focuses on another area of my life.

I am quite pleased as well. Actually, I am proud. 😃

I feel badly that I wasn't successful at going cold turkey to quit gaming. Truthfully, I never do thing the "normal" way.  I always dance to the beat of a different drummer. I am thrilled that my weaning off wow has happened in a natural way.

Watched Cam's new video this morning. I really liked it. I think it is important to hit the three areas mention when quitting gaming:

• Creativity: drawing, painting, music
• Self-care: cooking, reading, podcasts, music, pets, and journaling
• Reconnect with body: hiking, meditating, exercise, walking, gardening, etc.
• Board games (extra)

I need to reconnect with my body. I have been avoiding it because my leg injury from my fall 6 months ago... is STILL healing. 🤕 Movement would be most helpful.

Have a great day, everyone!

[Nico Indigo]

AHO my sister!