kortheo

Keep in mind that Linux certifications pay huge dividends. Professionals holding certifications like SUSE's Certified Linux Professional (CLP) and Red Hat Certified Engineer (RHCE) are highly sought after. A nice plus is that the competences you acquire by studying any Linux distribution can be easily transferred to others. Give it some thought and PM me if you want more info, I'll be happy to help. This is great on paper - however I have minimal Linux experience and I don't need to know Linux in my current environment - I do however, have a dozen+ Windows servers I'm responsible for. So it's not a logical next step for me on paper. EDIT: After thinking about it some more, you are, of course, correct. Linux does command a higher price and I'm aware of that. And I do like Linux and want to learn it eventually. I will have to spend more time thinking about what I want to do long term.

Day 138 I met Cam last night! It was awesome. I have no pictures to prove it. But there was yoga and delicious food involved. Our conversation clarified a few things for me about where I'm at in my life currently. 1) The fact that I lack clarity in where I'm going, or what my longer term goals are, 2) That the next thing I really need to work on is my mindset and internal attitudes, and 3) That my professional goals are probably next for me in terms of what I want to work on. I'm not totally sure what my next steps will be, but talking with Cam gave me a sense that I can probably achieve more than I think I can. Hence the mindset stuff being an important thing for me to work on. Fittingly we talked about how in terms of self-improvement, quitting games is relatively straight forward and can be put into a formula like Respawn. But once you get to that point of quitting, everyone's path is going to be much more individualized, and that's not always easy to figure out what the next steps are. I'll close with a couple quotes today that really hit me this week from the 5 Minute Journal: "There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming." - Soren Kierkegaard "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." - Mark Twain Gratitude Tackling problems first thing in the morning.Discovering a great new yoga studio last night.Spinning up a virtual server on my home PC for lab/learning purposes.My work paying for IT training for me.Plans with friends later.

Day 137 Feeling great this morning. I have some negative thoughts I would like to CBT away, but all in all, I'm feeling pretty good. I've decided that I want to get my Microsoft Certified Solutions Associate (MSCA) for Windows Server 2012 R2. This consists of 3 exams and costs roughly $500 all together. Work would pay for it though, and it would be a way to increase my professional skills that directly relate to my job. It will be my first IT certification. I'm excited! I've heard the exams can be quite difficult. But that doesn't intimidate me too much. I've always been good at tests. I went to trivia last night and tried to be a good listener and ask people questions rather than constantly thinking about what I wanted to say. It was good practice. Hmm. That's all for now. Have a great day everyone! Gratitude Making rooibos vanilla tea this morning.My last day of work this week.All the things I'm learning.Feeling excited about my career.That the trees around my house were trimmed, giving me more sunlight through my windows in the morning.

Day 136 Thanks for your responses guys. I've spent some time thinking about this in the last 24 hours. I think that the thinking on this topic that I've found most helpful is this: https://mrbashful.com/faqs-page-2/do-i-deserve-to-be-happy/ Basically, if as a human being I have a body, I am entitled to that body. Likewise I have a brain and I'm entitled to it and its capacities. Thus I am entitled to exercise my brain's capacity for happiness. It may take some work to figure out how to do that - to figure out what will make me happy. But if I want to be happy and my brain is capable of being happy, then I am worthy of that happiness. Short entry today, gotta run. Gratitude A job where no one complains or minds if I'm a little late.Feeling excited to learn.The way the light is hitting my monitor right now.Making progress on my goals.Social event tonight.

Haha, I'm sure we'll be sick of each other in no time.

Day 135 I recently learned about the "perfect day" exercise, where you basically sit down and imagine and write out what the perfect day for you would be. Who would you have in your life? What would you do? How would your morning routine be? What would your job be? What would you eat? Etc. I did it last night. It was extremely difficult for me. I had such psychological resistance to it that it almost felt painful to do it. I'm realizing that I'm very resistant to the idea that I deserve good things, or that I could be worthy of having things that would actually make me fully happy. So I end up with a life full of things that are "good enough", that will allow me to get by, but not without discomfort. I couldn't allow myself a life without discomfort, I don't deserve that. So obviously I want to change this mindset. But what makes anyone deserve anything? I have no idea. I don't even know what it means to deserve something. This is something that bothered me for a while actually. Maybe you have to earn it? As an example, I tend to think that CEOs that get huge bonuses that seem disproportionate to the value they actually provide don't deserve that money. What could they possibly do to provide an amount of value commensurate with that income? Just because an agreement is reached to grant them that much doesn't mean they actually deserve it. It seems like no human could ever earn that amount of worth, because our actions are so finite. Anyway, if that's right, then I guess the logic would be that I have to earn the right to have the life I want. But that also sounds kind of cruel - it seems that I should deserve to be happy, rather than having to earn the right to be happy. But if I allow myself to be happy without earning it, then I'll feel guilty for having something that I don't deserve. Haha. Around and around we go. Your thoughts appreciated. Gratitude A clean sheet of paper.Waking up before my alarm.9 Hours of sleep!Being Marchosias' accountability partner.Feeling good this morning.

Yes and no - the other important thing that the 90 days does is gives your brain a chance to rewire. Currently, at Day 2, you can't imagine never playing games again. I felt the same way. But over time as your brain changes you will become less addicted, and there's a real chance that games won't be as fun or interesting anymore, and that if you stay away long enough, the pull to return will diminish. You seem to be further along the addiction spectrum than I was, so 90 days may not be enough. Hard to say. But I guarantee you'll learn valuable things in your 90 days regardless.

I will commit! In my journal I have committed to going all of 2016 without gaming. What is your commitment? No games? No streams? Anything else?No games or streams. The only exception is I'll allow myself gaming with friends, in-person, if it spontaneously happens while I'm socializing, which is rare, but happens. I don't actively seek or accept invitations to social gaming events though.How long do you want this challenge to last? By default it is one month, but 90 days is recommended for your detox.2016! What are your goals?To continue to grow as a person and to support other people on the forum in their journeys.Why are you doing this?Because going back to gaming would make me unhappy.

Hey Nick, glad to see a new journal here! With regard to feeling reluctant to give up your gaming equipment - totally normal. It can be really hard to let go. Nonetheless, you could remove them from your environment for the time being. Maybe box up any gaming stuff and put it in the garage, just so it isn't a reminder to you every day? You can always sell it later on. Just an idea. Anyway, best of luck

Day 134 A podcast I was listening to today had a conversation between a young guy trying to figure out what he wanted to do in life, and an older guy giving him advice. They talked about career and lifestyle. Older guy pointed out to younger guy that he deserved a job that he enjoyed, that he found meaningful. That he deserved to have a lifestyle that suited his needs. That he didn't have to endure crappy things just to get by. The younger guy had unconscious beliefs that the best he could hope for was to endure and maybe have things get a little bit better. But to imagine that he could build a life where everything was actually just good and it didn't have to be a struggle... this was a paradigm shift for him. At first, when asked what his goals were they were very modest, because he didn't allow himself to dream bigger. As a listener, I was fully in the younger guy's shoes. It's made me realize how much I am grateful for the job I have, but also how trapped I feel because I don't feel like I'd ever be able to find something else good if I left, because I don't deserve it. That there's no way I could actively build my life and create something that didn't require struggle or endurance to get through the day sometimes. That what I have now is the best I could hope for. Obviously everyone has bad days and life isn't always easy. But this podcast has gears in my head turning about my mindset, about my sense of what is possible, about what I tell myself I am allowed to have. I can have more than I realized. Gratitude Rainy, windy weather.Tea.Staying calm amid stressful coworkers.Quiet morning.Worrying less.

Woo! You'll be at Day 90 in no time

January Goals - Month in ReviewJanuary was a very good month for me. I didn't meet all of my goals perfectly, but I came pretty close! I also accomplished more goals than I had originally set for myself, so it more than makes up for where I missed the mark. I had originally only expected to make progress on goals 1 and 2; I really underestimated myself.My main goal for January was to attend 4 Sunday fitness bootcamp sessions. I attended 3 - (75% Success)I also aimed to read 3 books this month. I did - (100% Success)Book 1: The King In YellowBook 2: This Will Make You SmarterBook 3: The Mindbody PrescriptionI'm very fortunate that I'm in a position to save a large chunk of my income. I aimed to save 50% this month, and I managed to save 46% (92% Success).As a bonus goal, I aimed to plan meals, shop, and cook enough food for the whole week, each week. I did this 4/4 weeks. This was delightful land unexpected. (100% Success)As a bonus goal, I aimed to write 1 blog post per week. This never really got off the ground and I only wrote one this month (25% Success).Very satisfied with the new habits that I've formed here - cooking has been healthy and delicious and fun, and has allowed me to approach my savings goals since I'm not eating out so much. The pace I've set with reading will allow me to meet my year goal for reading 36 books. I also accomplished some other goals, such as - implementing The Secret Weapon in Evernote as my productivity system for work and life, continuing to date, and maintaining an active social life. Since I more or less managed to accomplish these, going forward these goals will be staple goals for each month to maintain as habits:Attend 4 fitness bootcamps. (Physical)Read 3 books. (Mental)Save 50% of income. (Financial)Plan meals, shop, and cook each week. (Food)The physical goal may change in the future (after I get tired of this bootcamp, I'm going to look into Jiu Jitsu, etc), but the rest will stay similar. I go back and forth on the writing goal because I feel I write so much on the forum and in my private journal that I don't feel I want to write any more at the moment. Looking to February, I'm going to also add the following goals:Attend 1 volunteering event. (Contribution) (I feel I need to practice giving to others more)No coffee all month (Something I'm already doing, but want to be held accountable to)Average 8 hours of sleep per night (Health)Read 4 chapters of a work-related professional IT book. (Professional Development)For completeness sake, here are my current daily/multiple times per week habits that I track with Coach.me: ExerciseMeditationGame-Quitter's Journal 5 Minute JournalDrink WaterReadDo Something SocialThis is probably the most consistent success I've had with a goals system thus far in my life. I couldn't manage to keep any of this up if I were still gaming. It is quite striking.

Day 133 I had a great morning. Woke up early, went for a jog, showered, did laundry, planned meals, shopped, cooked, and ate - all before noon! I feel great about being productive and efficient. Going to have a short entry today. Going to put my effort towards journaling privately. It's rainy here and a great day for warm foods indoors, and reading. Have a nice one everybody. Gratitude Budgetbytes.com - the best recipes!Adagio Spearmint tea.Rain.My Kindle.Quiet.

"If we're going to find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy, because empathy's the antidote to shame. If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive. The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too." - Brene Brown's TED Talk We often feel like we're uniquely flawed or broken when dealing with shame, so recognizing that we are like other people and not alone makes us feel connected rather than disconnected due to our struggles. I can totally relate to the feeling about wanting to try to find and exterminate all your problems ASAP. I also agree that it's sometimes OK to just sit with them for a while. In many ways its healthier to accept your issues rather than be a perfectionist about them. It's good to improve, but you'll be happier if you can accept how you are flawed and be OK with that. These aren't mutually exclusive, though.

There's good and bad parts to every relationship. But the beginning of a relationship is usually where it's easiest to overlook someone's flaws. The fact that your uncomfortable this early on, is a red flag. Maybe whatever is making you uncomfortable is a sign that you two are not compatible. Or maybe it means you're not quite over your ex yet. Without more information these are just guesses. Whichever way it is, when it comes to relationships, trusting your gut is often the best way to go. P.s. Your use of pronouns for this person is interesting... Hah, well, with respect to pronouns - I think I'm just a bit self-conscious talking about my personal life in much detail so I just make it as vague as possible. Even though I'm self-conscious I talk about it because if it's on my mind it feels good to get it out of my head. I would normally agree with what you're saying about red flags and such, if I were looking for a relationship. But I don't have a "relationship" with this person exactly - it's more of a casual thing. I'm not looking for anything serious at the moment. I'm still new to this sort of thing, so I'm learning. If I were looking for long-term partner then yes, this would be grounds to stop seeing them. And it still might be. But in the context of just seeing them occasionally and having fun, I'm trying to figure out how my criteria differ from someone I would want as a girlfriend, say. It's also possible that what I'm uncomfortable about just might require a conversation and then the matter may be able to be resolved, etc. It's a learning experience. I know this is still vague, but I'm also not looking for advice - just putting my life onto paper, if you will.

Day 132 Went to my meditation group this morning, where I untangled some of the thoughts in my head. I feel uncomfortable there sometimes, but I'm getting better at noticing when I experiencing an uncomfortable emotion and reflexively moving away from it. This kind of discomfort is important because it is pointing the way to unresolved insecurities. So, I'm getting better at sitting with it and following it instead of running away from it, and growing as a result. I'm not sure if I should keep seeing the person I'm dating or not. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable with them, mixed together with the good parts. But I'm not sure if it's the above kind of discomfort that I will grow from working through, or a kind of discomfort that means it would be healthier to distance myself. I'm reading a workbook on assertiveness and it's quickly changing my mindset. I'm becoming more aware of when I'm doing things because I want to vs doing them because I feel socially pressured to. An example is drinking - I don't usually like to drink, only on certain occasions. But sometimes it's socially expected. Yesterday I realized that I didn't want to, so I just had a soda instead. No one cared, and I felt more comfortable and better about myself. I'm finally starting to get used to having a social life. I usually at least do one social thing per day now, in some form. Today, it's going to be 4 social things - meditation group, went and saw my family for a bit, Skyping with a friend later, hanging out with a friend tonight. In my old life this would have been unheard of. For a while it has felt like walking a tightrope... like I wouldn't be a able to sustain it, like I'll fall. But that hasn't happened yet, so I'm starting to believe that I can actually do it, for the first time. Have a nice day everybody. Gratitude "Soft Saturday" mornings.Google Music.Decaf.My paper shredder.My sister's dogs.

This is something I'm beginning to realize as well. There are various non-renewalable personal resources that we have. Time is limited, sure. But other things are more limited - mental energy, willpower, the ability to focus - however you want to define it. We can only work so hard before we are exhausted, we can only make so many decisions before we run up against decision fatigue; we can only learn so much in a short time because there is a literal physical limit to our brains' ability to undergo plastic change in a given period of time. I guess this sort of stuff is what underlies the Pomodoro technique. Which I'm realizing I do unconsciously and informally these days.

Day 131 Last night I went out to dinner with my family. It is rare for all of us to be eating together. It was really nice, and relaxing, and I felt very mindful and present. It made me feel like my family was normal, when frequently I don't feel that's the case these days. It felt like a significant evening. It was also at a Vietnamese place, and I had more knowledge of the food than anyone else, so I gave advice about it. It felt good to be able to help my family learn about a new cuisine. Today it feels difficult to figure out what to talk about, even though I do this every day and always find something. Well, I'm going to a lunch and learn event today to learn about Juniper network hardware :D. So I'm excited about that. It's at a brewery and I get free food and beer, and will get to chat with some consultants I work with. This evening I have a date - we're going mini-golfing and then getting dinner. Looking forward to that, too. I've been consistently busy lately... and it's great :D. Possibly the most consistently socially busy I've been in my life thus far. I don't think I mentioned this in my journal yet, but somehow I managed to lose my Fitbit this week at work. I'm not sure how I managed to lose something literally strapped to my wrist, but I did. Anyway, losing it made me realize how much I love the damn thing and how naked I feel without it, so I immediately went out and bought another one, haha. Normalcy restored. I like it because it represents a lot of things I value - its minimalist, and has a subtle, matte design to it. It is a self-quantification device. It's a way of representing how I care about health. It motivates me to exercise more. It helps me track if I'm sleeping enough. And, well, it's nice to have a time-keeping device on your wrist :). I prefer it to a smartwatch, because it doesn't have any other features, so it's less distracting. All in all, very satisfied with the thing. That's all for now. Gratitude Dinner with family last night.Remembering to be present.Progress on work projects.A clean sheet of paper.Chamomile tea.

Hey dude. Glad you're back with all systems optimal. Seems like you've been through some rough stuff. Hope you get help if you need it. Look forward to you future posts.

Woo! Also, don't feel like just because you're playing games that you aren't allowed to post and participate in the forums. Sharing your experience in a journal even if you are gaming will still be beneficial for you and contribute to the community. Talk about how games are in your life - good, bad, whatever. Doing this will help you develop perspective on the role they play in your life, even if you aren't ready to give them up.

Hey Man. Sorry to see you go. I know it's tough when you're surrounded by other gamers and can't get out of it. Environment certainly plays a big role. But you don't have to give up. I would encourage you to keep thinking about what you learned while you were here. Old habits die hard, and even if you go back to gaming for a bit it doesn't mean that you have to leave behind the attitude of self-improvement that brought you here. You can keep improving, maybe limit your gaming and try to block out time for other activities. Don't beat yourself up because you aren't perfect at avoiding games; take what you can get and take it one step at a time. Best of luck.

Ironically, with your skill-set... you have a huge advantage. Could you explain what you mean? Ha, maybe I'm just not self-aware but I really don't know what you mean. Then again I don't know much about entrepreneurship and such. Could be in a PM if it's off-topic.

Hey Spinips, What kind of business idea is it? I myself have never seen myself as an entrepreneur, but it's interesting. I think that attitude of mine is related my self-esteem. My self-talk is like "you would never be able to come up with anything that people would want or find useful" so I don't even try. Maybe I'm misinterpreting, but if you are trying to start a business, what is your mindset when you go about that?

Day 130 I'm beginning to think more critically about my job and the social groups that I am a part of in my life. I was listening to an episode of Mating Grounds and they were talking about being a member of groups and tribes. They defined groups as a set of people you see once in a while (say once a week) for a specific purpose, but if that purpose was gone tomorrow you probably wouldn't see or talk with most of them ever again. By contrast they defined tribes as a group of people who you talk to more often (several times a week or daily) who have a central role in your life and who you would keep talking to even if you lost whatever initial reason you had for interacting with them (your family is a tribe and you'll keep in touch with them, for example, or maybe a close group of friends, or if you had close business relationships in a startup or something, etc). In this episode they were advising someone to become a member of more tribes, to find people that you feel you have shared identity with. At my last job, I had coworkers who I liked talking to and spending time with, and who I felt like I was part of a team with. I'd say the first 6-9 months were tough for me at that job because it was my first real job, and I was dealing with social anxiety, etc. But the last few months it all sort of fell into place and I felt like a part of a team there and given more time, I think I could have built some lasting relationships. It was nice to be able to talk about work with coworkers and vent frustrations together and accomplish things together. Point is though that I started to feel good going into work in the morning because I looked forward to the social interaction there. Unfortunately, I was on a 1 year contract there and it came to an abrupt end. Contrasting that with my current job - I have no teammates because I am the only IT worker. No one truly understands what I do here, or at least not to the same degree that I do. I have some coworkers that I interact with, and they're good people, but they're all much older than me so it is difficult to relate to them. I work in a different county that I don't identify with and that I wouldn't want to live in. Most of my days are spent by myself doing behind the scenes IT stuff that no one sees or appreciates (they only see the tip of the iceberg, essentially). I have no IT mentors to learn from. In some ways I got the job that I was ready for - when I got this job I was isolated and not very social; it fit that lifestyle like a glove. Now that I'm getting more of a social life I'm realizing how alone I am in this position and it doesn't feel right. The reality is that I could make an effort to socialize with my coworkers here more. And sometimes I do that, and it feels better. But it also feels like swimming upstream because they're almost all 10-40 years older and talk about their kids and retirement and what not. There are a couple younger employees who I get along well with, but I don't have many opportunities to interact with them. The other reality is that my being here is a choice. I'm reading a book on assertiveness right now which I'm liking a lot so far, and it's changing my perspective on some things. I'm sure I'll share more about that in the future. But I guess what my takeaway for the moment is, is that I am ultimately responsible for my circumstances. Not that there aren't things out of my control, because of course there are, but it's my choice to stay in this position. I can put out a resume and find another job where I work on a team and where I work with younger people and where people understand what I do and value my contributions. A place where I feel like I'm a part of a tribe. That would be nice to have again. I think I've spent a lot of time rationalizing that this was a great job because it pays well and I'm getting a lot of great experience. In those ways it's true that it was a career opportunity. But I'm not currently happy here. I had a realization - if you have to try to convince yourself that you like something, that means you don't actually like it. Change won't happen overnight, but I'm starting down a new path. Gratitude Taking a leadership role at trivia last night.Paying attention to how I feel.Waking up 5 minutes before my alarm.Being mindful.Feeling calm.

Science/critical thinking: The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe. Dating: The Mating Grounds General Knowledge: Stuff you should know And I'll mention Serial, just because it's fantastic journalism and one of the most successful podcasts of all time.