NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
dandielionous
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Posts posted by dandielionous
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Hope you're baby's okay...
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Okay so I finally figured out how to ignore someone! lol I kept ignoring the signature but it seems better if I point at their avatar then ignore then chose what to ignore. That way I can save my preferences.
Just in case someone else wants to ignore someone's signature.
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Day 22
12:02 PM
I am thinking a lot about Ryzom. I triggered @hycniejsy. Not his fault. I just need to put his signature/him on ignore. I've been thinking about Ryzom anyway.
I sit in the house all day because I can't seem to get moving. My legs have been swollen. I've put on weight really quickly since I stopped gaming.
I looked up stages of recovery from starvation. I fit a lot of those.
I used to get a burrito in the morning. Lots of times that's all I would eat all day. I lost weight down until I was 137 pounds. I am 5'6”. I am not usually fat but I have been carrying more weight that I should for years. The gaming though… I came down to a size eight in jeans from a twelve.
My stomach looked fat. I just wonder about that.
Anyway since eating more again about five times a day, not a lot of food, usually a can of soup or some cheese and crackers, maybe a piece of fruit; anyway since eating more I have gained weight. My ankles are swollen. My legs are swollen. From what I understand on the internet one of the stages of recovery from starvation is the body will not distribute the extra food right away. It will store it in one part of the body first. In my case the stomach.
I am using the rest room numerous times a day. I can't seem to stay away from it. I am dehydrated. I am thirsty all the time. I am drinking all the time.
I think my body is somehow retaining water which is why my ankes, feet, legs are swollen.
I read in one article it said to be careful in early stages of recovery because organs have shrunk. Lungs, heart, stomach all shrink. The brain needs fat.
So… the good news some of the symptoms are starting to pass. Clarity coming back, swelling going down in legs, etc, appetite levelling out, weight seems to be distributing better, flaky skin going away.
I am getting dressed and going outside.
The Meaning of Life
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@gankylosaurus Ha! Ty! I just found that too! God that was unbelievably annoying so glad I can ignore an individual signature.
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@hycniejsy I am seriously getting annoyed with this abusive form of posting.
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@hycniejsy Your spam posting is making me feel like not using the forums at all. I wish you would stop.
@Cam Adair I wish the size of someone's signature could be limited so it didn't take up half a page everytime they post one line.
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I'm more mindful of when my mind automatically goes into "I need this to feel better about myself" mode.
Funny this is kind of how I think of prayer. Meditation is listening to God. Prayer is asking for things.
I finally came to understand gratitude better after I read Job in the Christian Bible. God asks all of them that had been debating why Job had all these things happen to him, "Where were you when I created the firmamint? etc" It made such a good point to me. God puts all these things on earth for us and instead of saying "Hey Thanks!" We say, "Give me more! Grant my every wish!"
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Oh wait.... This is Schwing's journal?
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@AlexTheGrape I wonder if you realize that you are a leader here.
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I would suggest focus on quitting gaming.
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On 7 days!
Did you slip??? Doesn't sound like for very long...
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Welcome Back!
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<<<<need more pictures of Ula!
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I like the dog.
Oh and about helping someone who is addicted.
A minister was talking to a group of us young people who had been through the 60s time of drug use. He said helping someone else was like standing on a chair and reaching down below your feet to pull them up on the chair with you. It's much easier for them to pull you off than for you to pull them up.
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On Day 7 & 8 & 9!
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Day 21
9:48
It's a long journey back to the real world. At first I can't visualize the real world. It's as though it's a place I have never seen.
When I stop using Game Quitters forum for a bit images of Ryzom come dancing in my head. The references I have had that were automatic to me, are all gone. Does the grass need cutting? The plants need watering? Are there bugs I need to attend to? I have no idea.
Long ago I stopped caring about the real world. Now I must come back.
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Day 20
I miss playing Ryzom. Ryzom comes to me in my thoughts to day. I wish I could just pop in and kill them one more time. Just quickly change my clothes and go to the mara camp then kill someone. But it wouldn't turn out like that. I would have to make my way to the portal to change my clothes, change my clothes, say hello to someone. Gees I can feel the pit of my stomach clinch at the thought of it. It wouldn't take much and I would be right back into it. Losing all my dignity and self respect in the process.
Not only would I be ruining my streak at Game Quitters but also I would be admitting to every person in the game that they could crap on me any way they wanted and I would come back for more. Also, it would seem a pathetic bid for attention.
Yes, I am getting just enough distance from Ryzom I can think of it without total hate in my heart. Just enough distance it starts to look attractive again. That is a dangerous time. Rather like going back to an old boyfriend after breaking up for a few weeks. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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You live in a scary city. Maybe it would help you to take a self-defense class?
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@WorkInProgress I agree with you.
I just thought it was an interesting article.When I was in college I took all sorts of tests to see what I was most suited for. All the tests said I could do whatever I wanted to be. Which was no help at all. lol I majored in computer engineering.
I am glad I have that background. But there are many times now I wish I had studied art or writing or teaching instead.
I just wondered if you are studying what you are studying to prepare yourself for a career and possibly not be being true to yourself? Which I don't know if it's possible for anyone to be true to themselves in this society.
Really I didn't mean to be analyzing you. I apologize. You just seem to be a thoughtful person.
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Day 19
9:00 AM
I watched an episode of wagon train. Maybe this is something I need to stop doing first thing in the morning.
All in all life is fairly pleasant. I don't have to do anything I don't really want to do. I have enough income that I won't starve. I'll have a place to eat.
I am thinking of moving to section eight housing for the elderly. That way I would have a better place to live. Hopefully.
I reached a point in my gaming that I cared absolutely nothing about what happened to me in the real world. I read an article where a child that gamed a lot had committed suicide so he could join his friends in his game. He wanted to live there.
I kind of felt like that. If there was a way that I could have gone into the game and lived I would have done it. Not that I wanted to commit suicide per say. So I can understand how a child's mind becomes very confused.
I am lucky that I had a background before there were video games. I have always had an addictive personality. If I was inside the house I was totally involved in inside things and didn't want to go outside. When my mom forced me to go outside I would become totally involved with outside things and not want to come inside.
It seems I can become addicted to anything, working a weed-eater, mowing lawns, cooking, housecleaning, studying, math, computers, etc. When this starts getting out of control is when I get a little help, like with alcohol, drugs, games.
I think there is a certain percentage of the population that is just like me. Under normal circumstances our powers of concentration and focus can be a good thing.
I think we are the 1% that is paying for the games. That is making selling games profitable for the owners.
I think we are also the 1% the game developers have a potential of manipulating the worst.
To knowingly do harm to others for the sake of profit is against our constitutional rights as American citizens. We are guaranteed the pursuit of happiness as long as it doesn't interfer with someone else's pursuit of happiness. Such as murder would be considering inteferring with someone else's pursuit of happiness, the will to live.
I awake at 7:30 AM this morning. I am trying to go to sleep at a reasonable time, not reward myself for waking in the middle of the night by cruising GQ forums etc.
I plan to work on my journal. Wake slowly like I like to do with my coffee.
Post and check Game Quitters. Then start my day.
I am going to try just putting on some music from my computer and see how that goes. If nothing else I will just walk outside and sit down.
Standing up is progress.
My morning routine must consist of combing my hair, brushing my teeth, getting dressed then take it from there.
I hope everyone has a good day.
4th time relapse
in Relapse
Posted
wb