d.manuk

On Saturday, we rented a car and went to a Korean spa in NJ. This type of spa is open 24/7, which is common in Korea but not in the US. I went to the various saunas (the yellow clay one was my favorite), steam rooms, got a massage and a facial. They also had very good and healthy food, I bought some fruit and a a blended red watermelon drink. I will definitely go back by myself one day when boyfriend is on a weekend work trip (they also have free buses to and from NYC). After that, we had Korean sashimi. It was very cheap ($130 for 2 people) and there were sooooooooooo many courses. We were so full. I also ate raw sea cucumber and sea squirt. On Sunday, my friend came over for tea and for dinner had some good vegan food. Yesterday, I just stayed inside and read, drank tea and did chores. I'm preparing to spend a lot of money in the upcoming months for new clothes... I want to look like I belong in the fancy neighborhood I live in.

Feeling a little better today because I did yoga and had sex. I like eating a lot of vegan food but it is hard to prepare so much food. Still feeling a little sick, the changing weather is sneaky on your body. Perhaps I did not take advantage enough of the summer weather, but I think I have done a lot this season anyway. Colder weather means more tea.

I think you should reset; 90 days is a very short amount of time. I relapsed during my first 90 days, reset the counter and then got to 250-ish days and then briefly relapsed again, and from there I've stopped counting because at this point it doesn't matter.

I took the first step of more serious working out by going to a Crossfit gym and taking a strength class. I have been holding off on doing so because I didn't want to spend extra money because my gym membership is free. But I like to relax too much and I need some help to get started more seriously. I learned today that my one rep max at bench press is 125lb. What also contributed to my decision to loosen up and spend a little more money is my cash flow outlook. I've been playing around more seriously with the retirement software at work and put myself in as a client to check things out. Even if I spent a bit more money, it would only delay my goal of achieving $500,000 by about a year. I'm starting to settle on the thought that it's okay to do this. I was a little sick over the weekend and just stayed inside, but I started doing more stuff on my to-do list. I did a very good job of a manicure and pedicure since I was in no rush.

Only if by losing the weight, she accepts that I'm not the same person I used to be, who hurt her trust by my eating and other habits. She always said she found me attractive no matter how much I weighed. I don't know much about the situation but there seems to be an imbalance of power in the relationship that skews towards her which is never a healthy situation (I am speaking from my own experience as the person that usually ends up holding most of the power in relationships). On an unrelated note, it is hard to find a gym buddy I wish I could get one to help keep me motivated.

If your wife changed her mind and said she didn't want to get a divorce because you lost weight, would you want her back?

Today the song comes first, because it sounds the way I feel today. The only thing I feel positive about is that my digestion seems to be doing well today.

I'm being a bit more selfish for the past week, even if it's at the expense of others. I've also been feeling more melancholy, but in a comforting way. It can be beneficial to feel a little depressed because it makes you want to take care of yourself a bit more. Plastic Tree makes me feel like I'm under a big umbrella in the rain wearing a white long sleeved shirt.

The bright side is that you lasted 1 day longer at no gaming this time around

Have been catching up on my to-do list. I'm writing this in between weak sets at the gym right now. After a brief vacation in a solitary place in a Canada, I came back to NYC with a clearer mind and a more resigned mindset towards the amount of people I'm always surrounded by. Just don't even register them in my brain. I've been feeling a lot more disgraced and empty of my skinny body than I have in a while. Currently feeling like a disgusting drawn out line of snot between a tissue and a nostril. Weak but somehow still clinging onto life only to be able to be snuffed out at any time by a greater force. It doesn't help that all of the other high-middle income attractive white males living in my area have at least 10lbs of muscle on me. On the plus side, I've been reading more books and stopped watching as many shows and browsing the Internet. Overall, the problems I was having earlier went away and have of course been replaced with other things. But I haven't had any negative days for a while. edit: it's essentially my 1 year gamequitters anniversary and it's nice to step back and see that I've progressed in a lot of ways that are meaningful to me and I'll use my dissatisfaction with myself to continue to improve myself.

My skin hasn't been clear for the past 2 weeks and it has been a bummer. It is starting to improve but it sucks because it got bad for no reason. I eat super healthy and have a strict diet in order to have clear skin, so when it still doesn't work out it is disappointing and embarrassing. I just finished preparing steamed sweet potatoes, broccoli rabe, hummus, and steamed kidney beans for my breakfast and mid-day work snacks. My wrists are 96% healed. For the past 4 weeks I have mainly been reading webtoons and watching Digimon and have gotten a little too sucked in. I am backing away for now in order to do other things I have been neglecting and also, more importantly, to have fun in other ways as well. Getting caught up in my to-do list is great and all, but I really need to learn to back off it too. It's really just like grinding quests, yes it's in real life so it makes my life better, but I also need to do some world exploration too and level up my mining and herb gathering too.

Life has been okay but for some reason I have a feeling that something bad is about to happen. It feels like I'm overdue for some drama to happen so I'm going to try to put extra positive energy into the rest of this week.

Now is a good time to eliminate a lot of stuff, I cut down about 40% of my things pre- and post- move which made the new apt feel even more beautiful.

"Vegan before 6" is going very well -- the transition has been very smooth since I'm already used to eating very healthy. I'm just learning which vegetable foods I better tolerate in larger quantities than others. My to-do-list has been a source of moderate frustration for me this week. I have so many recurring small personal tasks that take up a lot of my personal time. It's amazing that I managed to keep myself alive when I was gaming, considering how much trouble I'm having now to live optimally. There's definitely diminishing returns. It's been very hot in NYC, you can't stay outside for very long. I did some deep yoga last night that opened my back very well -- it felt really good... I made some embarrassing moaning sounds that made me grateful I was doing it at home. I'm excited for the weekend, my bf planned a date for us.

Those look like good grapes Your mom takes her tea seriously too!

I also want to dance and be carefree In fact I did just it in my living room, my bf clapped for me at the end

Today I finished this watercolor grid, the first page of my sketchbook. It's taken me 7 months from the start of deciding that I want to watercolor to getting to this first page. I did a lot of research on best paint brands, types of sketchbooks, paper, brushes, palettes, and now I'm also starting to read about color theory. I'm also feeling a little tea drunk at the moment so I'll show you my collection:

I've decided to try out eating "vegan before 6." My goal is not to be 100% vegan, because I have tried that before and it didn't work for me. Hopefully eating this way is what I have been trying to work towards. I feel like I have been spending too much time on my laptop recently, so I am working on other areas of my passions that don't require a computer. Have not played video games since that brief relapse before/after my vacation... I wonder why I did that. I probably felt overwhelmed by my to-do list and didn't have enough fun stuff planned and couldn't work out. It's okay to be bad once in a while. Time has really been flying by lately. In 2 months it will have been 1 year since I went to Japan... it feels like it was just a little while ago. I have such fond and vivid memories of that trip, it was really great. Work is not very stressful at the moment and I am trying to slowly build goodwill with my team in my new position. I do not feel like working a lot of overtime upfront in order to look good to my new boss, because I feel like if I do that I will burn myself out. There have already been a lot of times when I have felt close to the edge because I used a lot of my vacation days to study for the CFP test... I need to take care of myself!

As usual, life has had it's ups and downs since I have last posted. Luckily there were only 3 sad days and the rest of the time has been quite wonderful. I have realized that I have consistently hung out with a friend at least one day every weekend for the past few months. I really like that. I used to be so much more alone! Yesterday I had a $200 tea session with my friend as a special treat, I bought 8 grams of a 1960's aged raw puer. It tasted like sunshine, ambrosia, and sour cherry. I have also been working out consistently every 3 days or so. My to-do list is very full of recurring things to do and sometimes I get behind on things, but overall I am doing a good job maintaining my personal chores. I am working on transitioning to having all of my breakfasts be vegan, and today I am having a complete vegan food day because my skin needs some help. I think this is the happiest and best time I've had in my day-to-day life (excluding vacations). It's a good feeling to finally have after such an unhappy childhood... is this how people normally feel?

I manage to eat durian at least once a month even though I live in NYC

Last month I was upset because I saw some people writing about what their passions and life goals were, and I felt like I didn't have any. Well, that's wrong. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that I do have some, but they are different than what I think most other people would list. List of Passions AppearanceHealthRelaxationImaginationEating Health FoodEating Health Food TeaTea YogaYogaYoga MassagesMassages Anime, Fiction, FantasyAnime, Fiction, FantasyHygiene & Grooming Hygiene & Grooming Exercising at GymExercising at Gym Having a clean apartment WatercolorWatercolorNice Clothes Life Goals: 1. Eat every kind of fruit 2. Have a big backyard/nature property

After reading through some of your latest posts, you seem like you could benefit from relaxing a little bit more! This ties into the perfectionism thing too.

The book was called "A Court of Thorns and Roses" -- I rated it a 3 out of 5, but it had a good setup for the next book in the series so I will give the 2nd book a try. The plot was a little similar to Beauty and the Beast. I had a relaxing weekend and got a lot of chores done. I had a friend come over for tea. I feel like I have too many chores to do, but they all improve my life and also tend to revolve around skincare and beauty which I would always neglect when gaming.

I finished reading a book this week. I got a massage yesterday. I've started working out and going to the gym again because my wrists are almost fully healed. I'm drinking tea and water coloring today. Trying to hold onto these good feelings as long as possible!

I've noticed that I'm more social now, by default. People at work also seem to like talking to me and I am often the first to say hello. I feel very comfortable with how I am. I actually crave being social now whereas just a few months ago I was still struggling a lot with feeling like I didn't want to talk to anyone. I want to make more friends! I've gotten a lot closer to the person I met in January in the first tea meetup I went to. It was a great decision to put myself out there that set off a chain reaction. It's definitely the thing I'm most proud of since I joined this website and journey. I would say I have 3 friends now, excluding my boyfriend. How amazing would it be if I had 10 close friends...?! A few months ago, I would not have been even thinking this way. People really can have strong effects on your life. Since my last post, I've rekindled my desire to write a fantasy romance book because I binge watched 2 seasons of a romance anime and I liked the pure and happy feelings it gave me. I've started going to Chinatown to buy exotic fruits like mangosteen and durian. I've also decided on a life goal: I am going to taste every fruit in the world.