byrdmath

Got home... felt super antsy... wanted to drink of the cup of game. took my wife out to dinner instead. We're chilling and having a great time, now... she wants to watch something funny. no gaming again tonight. I'm grateful for: My cat my wife being able to write jokes and get paid living next to a creek my coffee mug a decent scanner moleskine sketchbooks eyesight the squirrels don't get in my walls anymore my friends

I felt like finding a new open world game tonight... Instead, researched a new recipe, went grocery shopping and made my wife green curry chicken and rice. Turned out ok. Also worked on the planning stuff found in Respawn a little. I use Microsoft OneNote for stuff like that... It's an awesome application for organizing. I've been using it for years to organize all my business and personal goals. I highly recommend it. I'm going to draw and go to bed.

Hearing your story is encouraging. I'm a creative, too. The negative thoughts really make me want to escape and be numb... kills creativity. good diet has helped me. though. I figured out certain foods actually create low energy and compound my depression. For me personally, staying away from lots of sugar and wheat help minimize the negative spells a lot. Also, drinking lots of water and exercising. On the days i am overwhelmed with the negativity i remind myself it's not me, I'm a happy person... and take a chill pill to get over the hump. Find out something that works for you to get through those moments so it doesn't snowball into a worse situation, and keep from the unhealthy escapist activities (like gaming). As for advice on what to do. I find that learning a new tool to help me create in a new way has led to months of awesome output. If you like immersing in fictional worlds, collaborating with someone on a comic book might be cool for you. Keep going. I'm running right along side of you.

Holy Crow! 85 days. Surely you are one of the chosen ones! But seriously, i can't wait to be able to say that for myself... 85 days. Also, your tale is moving and eloquently written. Keep it up... you have links to your music?

Glad to hear your story. Maintain a growth mindset, and know that you can make the changes you need to to feel good and do good in the world. You're not alone. I've also neglected others and very important matters just to stay in that gaming comfort zone. feels awful.. . I feel like i did damage. I'm proud of you for letting it move you to act. I'm acting too. Let's keep going forward!

Welcome! You can do it. It's never too late. Sounds like you used gaming to cope... and you're in the middle of doing positive things for yourself. It seems like quitting is going to help you focus and make the progress you're truly capable of. My story is similar... lots of similar issues with people and trials. I've had some pretty big goals since my mid 20's but always used gaming, and it always got out of hand and held me back from reaching my full potential. I'm 36 now. I'm tired of the cycle, and i don't feel so great right now either, but it's going to change. I know we can do it.

I didn't feel like gaming last night. Good. Went to bed early. I still ended up watching some game trailers though. I'll do better next time. I'm still creating the barriers to keep that stuff from getting in front of me.

As a fellow-person-who-creates-things (hi!!) sometimes I feel what I create doesn't add any value to the world so why bother? Why not just play games or have fun on the internet all day…. That's why I remind myself all the time to think of my purpose for creating things. Having this sense of greater purpose (e.g. for me it's creating more peace in the world, creating positive emotions, building community) is what makes creating things more satisfying and rewarding for me! I like this quote I found one day, Well. Have a great day. Look forward to reading more of your entries!!! That's a great quote. Hey, what you said about thinking, "why bother?" is so true. When gaming i'm like, "this is so satisfying," and these games have got all this art and production in them, and i can't even comprehend all the work that goes into making them... then i get too overwhelmed by how huge and inaccessible it is for me to make something as interesting, and that "why bother" thought definitely comes into play. I HAVE found that the longer i'm away from games, the simpler my view becomes, and i'm not inundated with those complicated thoughts, so i can wrap my mind around what i want to accomplish creatively without getting discouraged. Anyway, thanks for your input. Profound.

Let's brainstorm some ways we can deal with overwhelm without using gaming. Any ideas? Totally... well, at work, making sure i'm hydrated and listening to music got me some flow back. I also got away from my desk after a while yesterday, and took a walk when it was really bad and got some sushi. The option to game isn't really there for me since i don't phone game, and i uninstalled Steam from my Microsoft Surface Pro... but that stuff all helps. When i'm at home, and the games are there, finding manual labor around my house to do helps... just the mindless tasks that i can do mechanically helps me forget what i'm craving.

Has anyone else had dreams about gaming? I kinda dream about it, but it's too abstract to explain... its just like... screens of inventory getting filled up and allocating my level up points (shows i must REALLY be into the instant gratification of feeling like i'm accomplishing stuff). I mostly just get invasive daydreams when i'm trying to work, like every half hour. I just feel that urge to be at my PC with snacks, adventuring and building bases and stuff. Ugh... must... focus

I suffer from the same problem as well , I can be creative/productive for 10mins-1hour ,but then I get distracted by unrelated thoughts and it's very hard to regain focus . Yeah, my attention span is definitely one of my biggest problems, and i'm sure it's related to gaming since that's usually what i feel like doing when i'm distracted. I really struggle with it. Sometimes i have to take half a xanax to get over the anxiety that comes with trying to make myself sit down and be creative for a long time (my doctor only gives me 15 pills over a 3 month span so i don't rely on it). That usually quiets down my hyper thoughts and stuff so i can focus a little and get over the initial hump of intense nerves that feel so distracting. Sometimes it doesn't work and it really ruins my day. Then i feel like, man, "when is my brain going to start going back to the way it used to be?" But it's got to. They say it does. This happens with all kinds of addiction, and expert advice consistently says that with time, you get it back. But, man, when you think about it, it's really a good motivation to stay away from games on the long-term, isn't it? What do you guys do when you feel too distracted to make stuff?

Hi Tarantula, Do you feel like your imagination has also been changed? Mine seems to be gone, I want it back!My creativity is definitely sluggish, especially after my last bout with overgaming. I think when you consume video games, they can potentially give you a lot of ideas, but when you're "using them" in excess... something about the way they give such instant gratification and stuff keeps them from really feeding you. Artists need to consume in a way that inspires them. A combination of books, movies, reading articles about cool subjects like science - all in balance. Those things all can inform your imagination in a more rounded way, i've found... But you have to re-structure your life as "Tarantula the Artist" first. I have always held on to my identity as an artist at least a little bit. I guess i do that by making sure i do sketch, do keep notes on ideas i have when inspired, do read articles just for ideas of stuff i want to explore creatively... for example science... i was reading about some weird biological stuff that happens on earth that gave me ideas for a story, and have been sketching and writing ideas for a graphic novel slowly over the past year... very slowly since i game too much (hopefully, together we make sure that all changes, soon). But, seriously, if you just start flexing your creative muscles again, you WILL get it back over time.... maybe faster than you think. Just make yourself do it regularly... monday, wednesday, friday, or something... just promise yourself a half hour at a time at first, and do it at the same time everyday. Set creative goals, and consume for the sake of creating.. gather your visual source material, think of cool stuff you want to draw or paint... maybe sign up for a local drawing club or something. Just ideas. Anyway, thanks for the shout-out.

I'm at work. Every half hour i get the urge to game. I get like that when i feel overwhelmed.

I got up and went outside with my cat (has been part of a new routine - helps keep me away from reading about or playing games before work). So has going to my art studio... i'm there now... working on some sketches and planning some pieces before i have to leave at 9:30. I didn't game this morning. I'm probably not going to when i get home... My wife thinks i should give myself 2 weeks to finish an rpg i've put a lot of time into. We both think the closure could help the detox stick. I like finishing what i start, and i find it easier to not game after i beat a game. In 2 weeks she gets a new schedule where she has more free time we can spend together, and that seems like a good limit to set for myself. She also offered to take care of my Steam accounts for me so i never have to see them again. We will see what happens. I'm determined to start the detox either way.

Day one. I deleted a bunch of games from my Steam account yesterday... then i just stopped since i had over 270 and asked myself why i was doing it. It's because of all the other stuff i want to be doing. I probably won't post every day, especially if i end up accomplishing all the stuff I WANT to be accomplishing. I feel like i've never been without games (i'm in my mid-30's). I'm used to all the formulas, so lately i've been into those new hybrid games that indie developers have been making, and always immersive rpgs, but not so much online... the big open world ones... and i love those new games they're making with the nes & snes style graphics, and tons of other stuff... I've mostly been a PC gamer, and i have a Steam account on which i've accrued around 270 games over the past 12 years or so. Also kept up with consoles. I'll stop there. Here's what i wrote in my welcome comments, already... So, yeah... here goes.

Good Job! Soldier on at all costs, even if it's hard! I'm doing it, too!

Keep going! I'm right there with you. Just joined. I'm doing my best to not think about gaming for now, doing anything but log into Steam. I think we're going to feel uncomfortable at first since our habit has been so reinforced for so long. Anyway, just keep going. I don't think we will regret this choice.

Hi, After visiting this site on and off for quite some time i've finally gone and joined. It's been hard because if i really make this commitment it's going to change things for me. I've USED games, man... like a heroin addict. Tell me I'm going to level up in real life now. My first system was an atari 2600. I was never without games. I've mostly been a PC gamer, and i have a Steam account on which i've accrued around 270 games over the past 12 years or so. Also kept up with consoles. I really want to try the detox because i'm tired of not being as successful as i know I'm capable of. I've always been pretty active with creative things. I work in a creative industry doing pre-production/assistant producing for cool stuff. I give that job my best, but sometimes I stay up late when i get on a binge-run and can't think clearly the day after... that's about the worst of how it effects my day job. I've even freelanced as a graphic designer on the side since 2005. But i never truly meet my full potential because of the huge chunk of time I put into games. To others i seem like i'm an achiever, but it's kind of an illusion because i just promote what i DO end up doing as a best practice (though lately my social media has seen less-than-usual proof of creative output). Others don't know how much time i spend gaming. I spent about 55 hours last week in addition to working my full time job,hanging out with my wife (should be doing more of that, though) and participating in some volunteer activities. I used to think i needed to game because i binge worked/created, so i needed to binge game to recharge and balance it out. I'm sure there's some truth to that kind of balance when you're a creative professional and you tend to binge create and burn out, but it seems that the addictive nature of gaming makes it too volatile to use as a tool in unwinding (for me anyway). The real problem comes in with how gaming doesn't help me reach my personal goals. I'm not content to get paid to work for someone else's dreams my whole life. I have worlds to create, myself. Aside from my main job i have an art studio in which i have started numerous projects but haven't moved them forward as much as i should. I mean, i finished about 10 paintings last year, but none this year. I started a graphic novel, am working on a children's book with my wife, and last year i just started offering painting commissions. Great, right? Problem: My creative sessions are limited to a few minutes at a time because my attention span for things other than games has greatly dwindled... so my bigger projects move at a crawl, and i'm at risk of petering out and never finishing. I can never seem to make myself promote my creative services, so i don't get commissions. I don't make myself sketch everyday, so my skills are not where they should be. I feel like i'm not making the best of my natural talents, and that scares the crap out of me. I'm 36. I've got to act now. Anyhow, besides the stress that comes with ignoring that voice in my head that's saying, "hurry up! You're 36 - time to follow your dreams," I find myself being secretly OK with not reaching my goals, because all i ever want to do is game. It's my default mind-candy and it's getting worse. I find myself saying... why not? it's more satisfying than art or anything else. Ugh, i know it's effected my brain if i'm saying that. I've got to do something and start turning these other pursuits into the satisfying, rewarding things i know they SHOULD be. I still haven't made my Steam account inaccessible. How am i going to do this? I guess i'll start reading that e-book now. sorry this is so long.. .hah!