The_Creative_Quitter

January 8, 2022 Is it just me or do the days fly by in a blink? I am still a work in progress, such is life. Still trying to improve in small ways, still making mistakes/backsliding on certain things BUT I have not reinstalled nor played any games yet. Need to work on the tendency to get sucked into other distractions (Social media especially). I may be doing it as an avoidance mechanism for fear my efforts in endeavors that are new to me will fail. Need to turn and face these challenges. I think I WILL look into blocking sites and apps more effectively. Have a great day!

Agree 100%. I had no idea how much this journaling thing would help. No, I take that back - there was one time I journaled years ago where there were noticable positive changes in my life and the way I did things - I had forgotten! Never did a public journal before though. It's incredible how much just committing to doing this most days is helping. I passed 60 days no games on the 5th - I honestly don't think I would have been able to do it without realllly struggling if I wasn't writing here. I love your journals, btw - well done! But don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing great.

January 6, 2022 A neighbor passed away recently, leaving a widow, who's a very nice lady. Her relatives live far away and so some of us are trying to encourage and comfort her in what small ways we can. 7 Things I'm grateful for today: -Loved ones/friends -That God (who must have been very frustrated trying to get me to stop gaming too much) finally did it before I lost all opportunity to do things I really wanted to do in this life. -The opportunity each day above ground presents me with. -On a lighter note... (Lighter notes) -Spaghetti & Meatballs -Stray cats that warm up to you, if you're kind and patient enough -Coffee!!!

Just a thought - I'm not 100% sure about this one... It's important that we enjoy the process of what we are doing each day, and look forward to (or have that hope/"Dream") to keep us going forward. Maybe reframing that to "I will hold the dream as a light ahead to guide me, and find ways to savor (enjoy) the activities that must be done to achieve those dreams, along the way"? Best wishes!

January 5, 2022 Combining response and my journal. Pochatok - glad you're a fellow 'warrior' in this - you guys make me happy I decided to try the journaling and officially make the commitment. In a world where the gaming is unbelievably popular, it's not necessarily the 'easy' road for us is it... Love Cam's new video, just watched it! Bless you Cam... I so appreciate what he does - though it did take me some time to jump on board. Just Grateful today. Enjoy your day, to whomever reads.

January 4, 2022 3 Things I'm trying to improve: -Going to sleep earlier and more consistently -Decision-making skills -Learning when to simplify things (in writing and creating, etc) It's good to find out what issues I need to work on that were NOT really caused by the gaming habit but have other underlying causes. Enjoy your week!

I love your thoughts! When I said "waste of time" - yeah that was sort of me doing a purposeful "sour grapes" trying to get my mind off the games. I completely understand what you're saying. I used to BE one of those game developers as well, so I know what you mean - for some its part and parcel of their lives and it's expected of them to be playing a lot. I see what you mean though, in rephrasing our thoughts and words how it can reframe and reshape our perspective in a "happier" sort of way. Yeah, I'll try to kind of edge myself in that direction - not so much sour grapes as "meh, I don't really need it." --That said, on the days where I'm really struggling you might see me pull out the sour grapes card again... Thank you Pochatok!

January 2, 2022 Feeling post-holiday lethargy, still resisting temptation to reinstall just to do a few stupid game achievements. Baffled as to why that has any importance to my brain whatsoever. Reminding myself, it's only an illusion, no value there. Waste of time that leads to more wastes of time --- not to mention back on the dopamine drip, which I do NOT want to be. Must go get busy and stop thinking about it, I'm feeling a bit weaker today.

January 1, 2022 Happy New Year! Made my resolution in November, 4 more days and I'm game-free for 2 whole months. Short entry, post New Year's food-coma, enjoy the day!

December 31, 2021 Happy New Year's Eve to all! Short entry today! 3 Things I'm grateful for today: -I don't drink so I won't have to worry about New Year's hangovers -The time we are given -Imagination

That's the future goal - saving to build out in the country one day, less stress indeed - in many ways - although a bit less convenience in other ways. Country life is healthier though for sure, I'd say.

Dec 30, 2021 I wonder if there are others like me who have to live in an urban/suburban area, that have childhood memories of the countryside and miss it - who are prone to wanting to escape into environments like in LOTRO (as I mentioned in the last journal)? Seems to me gaming tends to fulfill certain human needs - albeit in an illusory way - social needs, environmental needs... Sometimes I think... too much of society's attention being lost into these games is costing us in other ways. Possibly very grievous ways. Those that were alive before these games took over remember how different the world was. Imagine what the world would / could be if we put as much effort into our real surroundings instead of into games and these other distractions... Of course I'm speaking as someone both drawn to and repelled by them, a somewhat hypocritical position. Beautiful illusions.

Dec 29, 2021 I don't think this counts as a lapse??? Felt nostalgic for some Tolkien stuff, as we watched the films over Christmas. Played LOTRO in the past, though it was the lesser of the addictive MMO's I've played in the past. I love the environments in that game - sometimes I would log in just to look at the environments and listen to the music, run around and log out without playing. Someone actually created a run-through from Bag-End to Rivendell, IN GAME, as if to recreate Bilbo's journey with Gandalf and the dwarves in "The Hobbit." I thought it was hilarious, so I listened (partly watched) the video, while I worked on some artwork. I only felt a small twinge of a temptation to play the game thereafter. Still committed to my full year with no games (~10 months to go lol). Hope you're all enjoying the Holidays. All for now.

Reading the last couple of posts you made, it's great you're facing and addressing - and acknowledging these things. The sting of failure will eventually lessen more and more - as we accept failures as building blocks to successes. There is no one main 'end goal' - it really is all about the journey and your growth. Accepting that part is huge. Keep going!

Dec 28, 2021 7 Things I'm Happy for today: -Christmas food memories -The ability to be so full and sick of sweet, rich, holiday foods that I can quit it now and get back on track -Giving food away to people who actually want to eat it -Pants that are one size larger that forgive Christmas food-eating -Humor when things get rough -Not replacing game cravings with food cravings (or social media, or whatever else) -Activities not involving food Now I need to fast a couple of days or so because here comes New Year's!

Dec 27, 2021 Was reorganizing bookshelves today. Came across some old gaming books - and glad I was too busy to look at them. Also glad I stopped collecting books at a point. Libraries FTW

@Marius - you've got so much ahead of you, you're just in a downswing. Confidence will be built over time - and no one is without failures. Failures are part of success... but you know all this deep down! Congratulations to you that you're still here and talking it out, you haven't chucked it all and given up. I agree with BooksandTrees - take a break and start fresh later...

Dec 26, 2021 Post-Christmas food hangover. Walking things off, stretching, breathing, moving (unlike yesterday)... Resisted the invites to play with old friends. That was a tough one... still very tough. Still trying to resist. Going to go get busy with something to get my mind off it.

I felt this way yesterday and this morning! Trying to remind myself it's part of 'riding the waves' and letting myself just recharge - even when I'm wishing I was energetic (i.e. not beating myself up about it ) ... By the way I was reading your post above (the one with the list of conditions for you to be creative/work) and thinking "Wow, we have a lot in common there" lol... I have a feeling a good many of us have some similar preferences and struggles. It's good to be in good company. Enjoy your weekend (Merry Christmas, if you don't mind me saying!) and also, be kind to yourself - totally relax/recharge!

It definitely does - that's why I'm trying to get really specific and break it down into "mini" achievements - I think that's what you mean by "how"..? In the past I've made these project/task lists but wasn't specific enough - maybe that's a key.. I'm thinking it failed before because I wasn't specific enough and failed to break things down into well-defined little bite-sized pieces - the big goals are just too vague/nebulous/overwhelming. So Main project name in top folder, and broken down into Tasks and THEN sub-tasks (the little bite-sized things). It's taking me some time just to do it - but I figure, hey, it worked for me in a game... maybe it will work in real life... Really appreciate the input, this is an area (as simple as it SHOULD be) I've struggled with. A Merry Christmas to you too Pochatok!

Ouch, Hang in there...

Dec 22, 2021 3 days until Christmas! Things I have to do today: -Christmas-related activities -Stay off the news and social media stuff; I may have done too much of that last night. -Finish my "Achievement" list - though that will be an ongoing, ever-changing thing, probably. -Prioritize ^ that list Wishing you all a happy week.

I try to do it every few days as needed. I like to cook though, but its always handy to prep things in big batches or crock pot stuff. Thank you BooksandTrees. :)

Dec 21, 2021 3 Things I'm happy for today: -Sunflower seeds -Good quality Paper -String Lights 7 Things I did today: -Made a huge pot of soup -Baked brownies -Made Tuna Salad -Worked on an "Achievement" -based task list (kind of like WOW's achievements panel, only for artwork-related stuff, silly, eh? But kinda fun actually....) -Took 3 work calls -Went for a light walk in the cool/overcast weather -Stretched

Omg, great idea, thanks! I use a task software but usually just mark things off/delete when I finish. I should keep a way to show myself my own progress...