Drop in from time to time.

Today is a day of getting back on track. Big life events yesterday with all the mixed feelings that go with them. Celebration of accomplishments, sadness of things over and then that pleasant tiredness when you get back home to quiet. All my habits were thrown out the window it seems but that is life in action. It feels good to be putting things back in their place and normal. I am sad today about playing dark souls the other day because I miss my lovely counter effect, lol. Not yet restarting the counter because I am still in limbo with my plans. POSSIBLE TEMPTATION ALERT: Games sounds fun and concepts sound interesting. Sherlock Holmes for example, I like puzzles, mysteries and it seems fun. Hubby and I could do it together and its not like my usual style of WOW, FF14 or dark souls etc. So the story sounds interesting, but I have no follow through of the buying, downloading or learning to play. Seems tiring to be honest atm. Although, I have given myself permission to play in reasonable fashion, the idea of WOW sounds boring and I truly do not want to do any grinding repetitive activities, deal with trolls/meanness etc. I have much better use of my repetitive activities time. A part of me is wondering if I have somewhat moved on from the need, although, I am cautious because of read of 5-6 month or later relapses. Grateful: Sleeping lateQuietBeauty in the simple things-cat fur, candle lights in the holder, the sound of the wind.Reading post of those before meTransitions

Thanks for finding this and linking it.

Grats on the detox! and keep up the growth and seeing the value outside of gaming.

Hello Cam, Just watched your Las Vegas conference and it was amazing. Good job. A few thoughts to share with you . The idea of game mechanics and game design combined with the reward system/stimulation design of gambling should give anyone pause of the power of that new problem on the horizon. Hopefully, there can be more partnering with problem gambling research and hopefully some game developers will get into the prevention aspect of the gaming community. I like that you know your audience. The hidden group as one of the commenters said is probably an accurate way to describe us. Most of my gaming cohort use many systems to not be tracked or identified. I am the trusting one (read fool that we must educate to correct and protect). Even I would not have picked up a phone or gone to anyone/anywhere for help. Still won't honestly. Hell look how many of us can successfully bury our gaming habit from loved ones and friends or we have the counter stance of "fuck you" I am gaming no matter what you say or do. An intervention...would have buried me for more years before I came up to look again for a way out. Confrontation would not have worked nor requiring any serious effort outside my habits. The habit of online and via the keyboard. You have managed to come where we live and OFFERED a choice not coerced a choice. A new game if you will of life and the ultimate character development. You give a tutorial of the steps needed and then in life hints if we get stuck. You even have how to vids of those challenging bosses (ie for me today "How to relax without playing games". Gamers are some of the smartest and most driven people I know and some of the most impatient with bull shit. We watch, we learn, we research and we plan how to execute. That works here too. Even those that lurk and do not commit now have knowledge of a different game. Those that fail to quit this attempt, have knowledge and a foundation to use for their next step when they are ready. Maybe other problem habit groups are not so determined to be knowledgeable, but for me knowing what is happening in my brain and what I am actually fighting is helpful and puts the onus on me. Where I want it. My current experiment with dark souls is that - what is this doing to where I am? Will it work in a new paradigm? Will it derail my growth? Does it have any benefit now? All things of curiosity to my mind and I am truly enjoying watching it. I know your stance of continued no gaming and respect it. It might be my truth, but, I have to prove it to me. The parent thing. I am a parent and I let my kids start playing at 4-5 yrs old because I did not play then. I cringe knowing what I know now. As a gamer I lived the danger and tried to save my son from my own habit. I did it wrong too. Said all the things I was not supposed to say. I think, If a family member, friend, significant other or parent comes to this site. We should give them a guide (forum chapter area?) to what to say and what not to say. idk- maybe call it - IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW GAMES. Tell them what their gamer is getting from games and what their brain will be fighting and the social needs. There are myriad reasons people game and they will need to be addressed once the shield of gaming is removed or even before. I knew why I gamed and why i had failed prior attempts. So I started my exit strategy long before I deleted games with developing the tools I would need to counter the main reason I was playing. Maybe a list of resources for those myriad reasons if gamers want to see them and find the ones that apply to them? Maybe one day mainstream resources will be there to help, but, I wonder if they would ever know how to talk to the hidden. I am just grateful that you do.

Greetings of the day! So I played a game last night (dark souls). I respected my limits I had set of 3 hours. Not honestly sure how I feel about it, I had fun and frustration because I was initially out of practice. Those things come back quickly though. Anyway, trying to decide if this was a good choice or no. This morning I am fairly neutral. If I remain neutral then it seems not a good investment of time. I may be neutral because I don't want to return to the old ways. Time will tell I suppose. Will real life slide? My new focus of self-improvement continue? An interesting problem, I am having is remaining flexible with my topsy turvy schedule and my habits. I adore my productivity app and swiping off my new habits including activity. I set small goals that should be easily doable as I deal with emotional fallout for reprogramming core hidden self messaging. A second issue, I work all the time, long work hours and then come home and work more. I am not sure I truly know how to relax and check out of life in a healthy fashion. I read but escapism fiction does not interest me at moment and all I can think of is all the stuff I need/want to do (this is a major problem with my morning meditation). This is of course why i need meditation. The only place I truly "let go" was games and last night "watching myself" it was true then too. You are very focused on a game. However, doing real life intense focus items are satisfying but not restful. Is it because real life matters and a game does not? So I need an intense focus hobbie that does not matter? Anyway full day ahead. Grateful: Important life eventsCoffeePurring catsScented tea lights

Still doing well - day 106 or maybe 107 off games. Not really tracking anymore, I have battlenet downloaded for days on my computer desktop. Not honestly interested. So many other things I want to do instead. I am getting a puppy and doing stuff with my family. Working long crazy hours as normal. I am equal parts fascinated and appalled at the book the power of habit. Love the book and a must read in my opinion for everyone! It really opens your eyes imho. Today I am battling a cold so did not do my 7 minutes of hell app - I mean my 7 minute strength challenge. Did the nap thing after work and am still tired. The best part of today is things are just even-keeled. Grateful: Happy puppy picturesHot soupNaps - feels like you got away with somethingThat the day was normal

Remember to breath through the rough period. Maybe you are not going forward as much as you want - standing in the storm is good too. I give you my favorite quote. I have it on my wall to remind me to step into the arena and as long as I am there I won that moment THE MAN IN THE ARENA It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. -Theodore Roosevelt

Hey JBR, I will try to post here too. Love the positive energy of this forum. Day 104 off games. Work was long but im glad to be home. I decided on gaming limits. I was an emotional eater, though not anymore and now I see gaming as the same. Emotional gaming. Much like 1 cookie is fine, 14 is not and I set the limits of I my games for 2 days per week and max of 3 hours. In the true perversity of human nature, now that I can, I don't want too, lol. The concept of I can do this or that as a conscious choice with reasonable limits has worked well for me as I improve my healthy coping strats. It was so nice to see @Dannigan having victory and the same thing for them. The 90 day detox was awesome to help clear my head and the dopamine path running there. Working on the next step of my journey. Interestingly, the book Power of Habit is so applicable to all of this stuff and I am loving it. Grateful: My family is safeI have workGetting tired with the hope of sleepMeditation though it does not relax me like hoped...showed me the truth of thought patterns to growSoft blankets for soothing touch

Love what you stated about your new coping strategies! Good luck to you!

Day 103 off games. Mood is hopeful as I figured out what is giving me issues. I will be doing more work on my own in my private journal as I move on to the next stage of what I am working on. Good luck and take care Grateful: The ability to self reflect and learnCoffeeQuietMusicHealing

Bare knuckle day and day 102. This is my worse day of withdrawal to date in this detox. Been on the verge of downloading dark souls 3, wow, anything for 2 days. Talking my self through it, minute by minute. Trying to stay busy and have lost momentum or the desire for my real life/plans. I'm working my way through @AlexTheGrape journal and as I know from his posts his journey was not always easy and I followed his link to holiday relapse and then next this post. It is all true of course and widens the gap between thought and action at the moment. Ever have anxiety from success? I swear that is what is happening at the moment and I am doing well at sabotage. I could not mentally commit to Just June...uh oh. Making game plans with those I played with...check. In trouble...check. Fail safe...make no decisions until calm. Thing is life things are working. Off games, positive breakthrough on massive work problem for first time in 9 months. Found lovely apps for motivating thru OCD to do daily habits. Productive...i love those icons, colors and counters! Wunderlist for all my todo's and the ever expanding to read list. Finally doing the 7 minute strength challenge app for last 3 days and meditating too. Fitness was the final straw to get off gaming to do (many reasons and multi-factorial and all still apply). Its just 17 minutes geez..you would think it was the end of the world by my stress reaction. Ok, writing this gets me back off the edge, not far. Advice on how to implement positive changes without major stress? Weirdly they are things I want, I enjoy them in action and feel proud of myself for doing them. Maybe the success is not the trigger but damn if I can find it to remove it if not.

Recovery from a misstep is a key. Don't beat yourself up with shame as that is not helping. It is only failure when you give up. This is a process and sometimes falls happen. It is great you looked at the scenario about alcohol. Sounds like some pretty stressful events going on. Maybe you need some better stress reduction strategies. Watching Cam videos, walk, book, punching bag. Something to get your centering back. I tell myself in these type of situations - Gaming or whatever bad habit we have for stress does not fix the stresses and I don't deserve to punish myself for it. Feel good you got back on track and count this first as a practice session and "learning opportunity"!

So my first post is rather intense and I have been debating removing it - opinions?

Welcome! You have a good plan now just let it happen.

100 days - it is a milestone in my opinion. Life has interesting timing. Today I get an email from a game I alpha tested. If I log in they will list me and the other alphas in the game credits. Oh and we can play pre-launch. It is tempting and sad. Sad that it is tempting and a reminder of some fun I had. Funny, I had thought then maybe I was making a difference and now I ask myself. A difference in what? How a mechanic or function worked? Choices. I might log on to get my name on it, but, I truly can not see myself there. The reasons I left gaming are still there. I do not have the right words but gaming seems 2D somehow now. I do not know how I made it so important 100 days ago and for so dang long. Ok, I know I was hiding from real life in games but it does not seem to apply at the moment and last 100 days. Life is a struggle with how intensely busy it is and how much I have to do. The tasks seem herculean to accomplish. The desire to turn away is real and rest seems so far away. Then I remind myself where I really am. In life and doing the things I want to do and being part of the things I want to be part of. Things are finally working on massive undertakings I have worked on for 9 months. In September, a very hard situation at work happened and will be going on for years. I have written 3 ways to explain what happened and then deleted them. Honestly it is not needed to share the details. I quit gaming in the middle of this because I realized, I can not wait for life to be calm to change the things that need changing. It will never be calm enough. You just start and go and do your best. It gets easier. I learned forgiveness during this time. I have always know forgiveness is for you and not the other person. Now, I know it is true and it is freeing. I do not need vengeance for the recent or the remote past. I put those issues into God's hand and leave it. Those that have wronged us are imperfect humans too and children of God/Universe however you see it. Freedom there too. Rest is not that far and I would regret it if I left at this moment. I am juggling so much and putting other things into place I want to put in place. Me and meditation are not happening but it sounds like it would be such a good thing. I will keep trying. Maybe its not my thing but I will give it an honest attempt. The potential to fail myself is high atm with so many balls in the air and I am fearful of the one thing that will bring down this house of cards. Then I remember it is not failure it is just life. I hum the chorus from the song tub thumping on those times - I get knocked down and but I get up again, You're never going to keep me down. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LODkVkpaVQA. After that, all I can do is smile and move on. Gratitude: Feeling sad and yet knowing its okLife in progress and things getting done even if slowSleeping catsFamilySilly songs that restore your perspective

I don't know what you are doing but your journal to date has been incredibly inspiring as balancing parenting and growth. I like how you have bad days/times and overcome them and mainly just live in the moment in a joyous way. I don't know if you will ever read this post but may all the best come to you and yours.

Wow your post today was obviously a big turning point for you or perhaps just the writing of it because you had read the book from Bradshaw. So many of us game for the other issues in our life and I think this is why the forum is very diverse in what people are working on and why there is so much personal growth. You remove the crutch of games and you are left with the problems that keep you on gaming. I think you are completely on the right track to work on your coping mechanisms and develop healthier ones than hurting yourself. In the beginning they are weak but get stronger with practice. I used to envision a colt on shaking legs with its first steps. It does not matter if we like your journals or not ( I do though) it is for you. If it helps you - do it. It will honestly probably help others face things too. Do it online or privately. My journaling was key to my healing. As I read a book, I would write the thoughts that crossed my head, how it applied, how it didn't and the ways I wanted to shift my thought patterns. The OMG this is true moments that I spent days refiling my thoughts to the new paradigms and lifting higher out of the depths. Brene Brown helped me the most with self-acceptance and learning I had the right to be alive. We are all key components to the universe. "It is time, to allow and accept myself, for me. The good with the bad, and that the bad comes out and that I don't hide or turn my face for who I am and what I want and need." This says it all! Is this taking care of you, valuing you etc. I brush/floss my teeth because I deserve healthy teeth etc. Emotional pain is intense and the need to relieve it is also. In the early days, I would just sit and feel it and count minutes. My goal was to just feel for like 5 minutes without doing anything else then do what I needed to relieve. I expanded that time to build a tolerance so to speak. In retrospect, I am not sure that is the best way to bare knuckle it but to talk myself through it. ie you are fine, safe, this feels intense and its ok. Acceptance works better for me now. Then gently exploring and journaling the feelings/thoughts. What am I thinking and am I stuck in a negative loop? Is this situation harmful for me? No, it is my choice then it is just new and myself is showing the stress - can i back it up and go slower. How can I support myself here as I do this to get to where I want to go or is there a different approach? Do I need to build a subskill first? As you go to University you will definitely need those self-comfort skills to tolerate life's up and downs and stresses in a healthy way. Isn't this why we are all here . It is great to have goals and education works well for many. Lawyer jokes aside, it is a valuable and respected profession to help people with many things in life and business. If you do not like something shouldn't you explore other avenues? I would say you are already worthy with or without a degree and don't need to prove it to anyone. If you desire a degree for yourself to advance the goals you have set for your life then go forward. If you are doing it to win approval of someone or society then its the wrong reason in my opinion and demonstrates your are not accepting yourself fully in this scenario. If you want to be a lawyer, you deserve to work for it and try to make that dream happen. If you don't want it, there are other areas that have fulfilling work and make a comfortable living that might be more aligned with who you are.

What apps do people use to track habits? I will try to get a pic for ya!

Awww that was really nice and happy belated Birthday!

Welcome! I used games to de-stress and generally hide from life in. I put together a list of things to try when agitated. Some of those things are walk, read, Cam's vids, hot baths and generally staying busy. I like puzzles for mindless activity. I found doing errands and shopping etc gets me out of the house and out of the moment. I come back doing better. Surprisingly organizing stuff works too. Tools in 6 drawers - put them all in the right place. In my life, accepting the emotion and what it is telling me has worked well too. Why am I agitated here? Is there something I can do about it. Am I looking at things in a negative way? What is my alternative? It gets easier and less intense over time.

Welcome! We are quite the international community!

Long day full of so many things stressful, ups and downs. Had one of those lifetime moments today and I was there. There in body, spirit and mind. That was/is the good stuff of why I quit. I sit here tired and thinking things through and realize I am doing ok with the withdrawal. I did not think about games today when I was very busy and my computer at work broke. I did not think about games when both my kids had meltdowns in two different places. I had an unexpected email late today about a very difficult situation that may be the first sign of good news in 9 months of turbulence and did not think of games then either. I want to relax and unwind and did not think about them then either. This is a great day. Switching what I am reading from Slight edge to the Power of Habits book. Apparently there is an order per Cam in Joe's journal! I was only 2 chapters in so no biggie. Trying to commit to meditation in the am. Tried today, could not get app to work or my account. So opened a new one and will try again tomorrow. These things happen. Persistence will pay off in most of my struggles. There is a place for stubborn refusal to give up no matter how bad things go. It makes the victories all the sweeter. Grateful: The end of a day to just be tired and quiet.The sound of washing machines and dryers. Reminds me life goes on no matter whatFor people to walk life withCam for putting together this site for usNew tea lite candle holder that puts pretty light shadows on the ceiling

I found this in Joe's journal during a difficult time and thought of you. I hope Cam's words bring you strength and comfort. Peace