Stone

@Erik2.0 I hope you aren't implying that I have no life because I read your long journal mister (laugh). But no your journal was enjoyable. It gave me a glimpse of what's to come for me and interest in what's to come for you in the nearing future. My crystal ball says maybe a lady figure in your life (spooky noise) (laugh). You've certainly done a lot of preparation for that time though. But anywho... Thank you as well for your sharing your journal. Best wishes. Since I am already here though, I'll go ahead and make a post for today: Today marks the fifth day of quitting games and third day of noFap. I am happy today. I was productive. I made an effort to sit down and read and from there I got a lot more done than days I did nothing at all. Who would had known! I even had work today, so that makes things all the more merrier, since I tend to get nothing done on these days on my spare time. High five myself! Getting sleepy now though...bye.

Today marks the fourth day of quitting games and second day of noFap. I am now doing weekly updates from now on, posting daily when nothing comes to mind is redundant to me. I will have more to say as the week goes by. Then after six months, I will begin to post monthly. Expanding this into something positive, this weekly post routine provides more time for better formulated thoughts and reflection I guess. If not, I'll probably rant too much. Furthermore, I get to read other people's journal, which intrigues me more than my own thoughts. I'm stuck in my own mind 24 hours a day seven days a week. Year round. Who knew. I only managed to read @Erik2.0 's journal though, but to see his progress throughout the months made me "proud" and happy for his accomplishments. Proud of him in the sense like, "damn that's one of our guys representing the game quitter community". I'm sure there's a lot more interesting journeys out there too. So I am going to spend more time reading into other journals. However. Under no circumstances will I submit to gaming and porn anymore. No matter what I have to do. I will not submit to gaming and porn.

Today marks the third day of quitting games but I relapsed for noFap yesterday. So today marks the (successful) first day of noFap. I think because I had more time to think this week, I started distracting myself. Life right now, feels like I am constantly trying to match the pace of someone else. I don't have much control nor many options to get out of this race. It's out of my control, and only time will really set me free. From school and work to all of life's bull crap, life feels like a grind right now. I am not really enjoying things. I hate it. But right now, patience is the only way out. I don't really want any friends or to attend some get together events for recreation to destress. Right now, I just want to be about the business of my life. On days like this though, I want to feel the snow beneath my feet. The crush of the snow. The cold air brushing against my clothes. My brain numb, body cold. Climbing an uphill slowly and relaxed, unweighted by the world beneath me. Unburdened. Feeling at peace. But I guess I will hold off for now. It's not time yet, nor is this pain permanent. But man, it's a long road. A very long one. I will continue my days of quitting gaming and noFap. I don't want to shelter myself with nonsense anymore. I'm going to hold on though. Reading. A few licks of my guitar. Reflection. Exercising. Whatever gets me through these anxious moments, I'll do what I can. If possible, in a few years if I'm successful, I want to look back on this and pat myself on the back. So... I'll be waiting for that moment.

Today marks the second day of quitting games and noFap. On the first day, some cues caught me off guard but I acknowledged this and with time the urge faded. Also, I thank you two for the nice welcome. I do struggle with the two, gaming and pmo. Both mentally drain me with how they linger in my mind even after the deed. Though I am not great at going into depth, as I lack writing and speaking skills in general, but like most, my story is similar to any one (this community) suffering from the two addictions.

Today marks the first day of quitting gaming and noFap.

Stranded in a cave, a man comes across two dividing paths. Neither side leads to immediate death nor do they guarantee survival. However to move forward one must decide. Which one shall they take? Or rather, do they stop moving entirely. Not wanting to decide? For me, I have stood in the middle of the two. But that's not living. To live means to decide. So today. I am making my own decision to leave gaming behind.

I am Stone. There's nothing interesting to say about me right now, but as the days go by, maybe there will be. The goal is to quit gaming and start noFap. I plan to learn from everyone's journey and experience, and learn more about myself. So now, I take my first step of the journey. I greet you all.