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Vooglet

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About Vooglet

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  • Birthday 03/07/1998

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  1. Well, 7 January. Spent some days ill, reading and occasionally watching films and youtube. Studytime is near again. It's just difficult to concentrate on starting to plan for the future. Can't give up porn still, even if it's pictures. I mean, i succumb to it. Feel disappointed in myself, weak with no life skills. Currently I'm struggling versus an urge to brouse one shady site with pictures. But it gets easier as I write. It's like pinning it against the wall, like a fly with a needle. I just can't shake away the thought that it isn't something I should be doing. Think I'm going to read instead and then go to sleep. No needless masturbation. Phew.
  2. NOTE: I'm mostly writing it for myself to see its effectiveness, but I'd be reaaly greatefull if you shared similar experiences It's 1 January, just after New Year. The holiday itself went differently from the usual get-together in some game with the people I know. I spent time outside, marvelling fireworks and hanging out with other people. But today the old struggles take back their ground. I have a couple of hobbies that should (idealy) be distracting me from the urge to play. It's drawing (sketching) and translation. There are also a couple of books waiting for me to read them. However.. there is an instant resistance in my brain to the suggestion of starting doing anything of that. It just doesn't give the same bang for it's buck as gaming. It sounds boring, dull and lacks attraction. Drawing is difficult: lots of things to learn even though my figures don't look like logs anymore. And it's really time-consuming - any excitement just wears off in a few hours, leaving you wondering why you started such a tedious project to begin with. It's like I've condtitioned myself to avoid labour and hard work. Which is pretty normal, I guess, for a person who's been entertained by games for years. It looks like an impossible battle against urges to drown myself in social media or join my gamer friends. And if I try to resist that - I just slip into watching youtube or masturbating a.k.a. not doing anything productive in the long run. So, to conclude, I feel trapped in easy-to-access instant gratification and in reluctance to pick up things that don't feel as good. That's what I've got so far. Guess I'm going to try to translate an article right now. See how it goes.
  3. Hello. It's a plesant surprise to find other russians here ? We are similar in may ways with respect to gaming. TF2 was a place I spent ludicruos amounts of time in, and the rest of the games mentioned by you also bring some dear memories. It was also the futility of what I was doing that got me to make a change. I looked back at all this ocean of time put into gaming - and it hurt me greatly to think how much time for improvement i've lost, especially in comparison to my classmates or fellow students (today) who were not playing. And even more - how little was gained in a long-term perspective. Relapses hit me too, pretty frequently, only they come in forms of youtube binge-sessions, porn or simply wasting time and being anxious to give it up. They may come, but the important thing is that you stick with your goal to quit despite occasional faliures. I'm close to your age - I'm 21 - and the problem of finding a place to work makes me very uncomfortable. It's just all this time that I would need to be spend at work.. Epecially after not being employed anywhere my entire life.. So I'm curious to see how your experience goes. And wish you luck with finding new activities to try. Asking random people (or friends of friends) about their hobbies seems helpful - they may be doing something they can introduce you to. You've laid the foundation today. That is really important.
  4. We, newbies here better stick together So it's good that you're here as strength is in numbers. You seem to have an iron will and rock-solid (no pun intended) motivation to stick with nofap challenge for whole two years. Big respect here! As for wow, it was part of my story as well, with all its progression elements and emotional bonds created within the game. Now I'm noticing that interests to games and to life are in constant tug-of-war. So the more you buff the latter, the easier it will become for it to prevail. You've made a big step forward joining this community. Wish that it helps!
  5. Read your story and other comment and say I can relate to that. You've implemented some great habits into your life. What encourages me the most is that you claim it is possible to turn into a hard-working person. I could really use some advice on how to keep urges at bay in the face if difficult tasks -_- As for situation with social struggle: When I got to university 4 years ago I had little social experience also. Articles on social interaction and related sites really helped to build that foundation. Another helpful thing was.. acting. Not on stage, but pretending to be social, interested and excited about some topic in everyday life. Try putting on this social mask, first for 15 seconds to ask for directions or how to get to class, then for a minute for some small talk about impressions from studies or what.. spices to chose for the next meal.. Eventually it will accumulate into an ability and a habit, like working out! 4 years of practice prove that. This idea is better expressed in Amy Cuddy's TED talk "Fake it till you make it" One last thing: I saw a russian speech some weeks ago about combating depression. In short, it claimed that working out somewhat triples the amount of nerve cells produced in hippocampus. And that allows you to learn new things and move on from old habits. So keep up the good work! You can move past your gaming. After all, it's just a thing we've sticked to since childhood. That's the only reason it seems so dear. The baby duck syndrome in action ?
  6. Yep, wishing you luck on your journey. To.. TURN the tide, so to say) It seems like in your case translation from gaming to real life may be easier, as it seems that you have a family to support you and remind you of your goals. I think that every streamer us an actor at heart, so maybe it will be interesting to look up acting on stage? ?
  7. Hi everybody. So the idea is that I have this company of friends who I've been gaming with throughout my whole childhood. They mostly play League of Legends now and are calling me to play almost daily. The problem is, my sister is also there, and she gets upset when I reject the invitation and gets angry with me for ignoring them and not spending time with them. It's been a reoccurring problem for a couple of years now and I think I cannot get my negative idea of gaming to her, that I feel regret about the amount of time in game. She suggests that it's my poor time-management to blame and thinks that if I rearranged my schedule, I wouldn't be so busy and could play. In addition, it is still tempting to actually go and play. A couple of games this evening, a couple - some other time.. Maybe some of you have a similar situation? Companies of friends gathering to play and wanting to know why you aren't coming along?
  8. Man, you are indeed a warrior, confronting all these emotions like desperation, anger and despondency. The pitch-black mood you are in may taint your view of the future, but it's only temporary, until you come out on top. Then, when the good fills your life, all this struggle will be worth going through. Although I'm only 21, there's anger in my story too. The agonizing realization of how cheap I sold my years of school left me at war with myself. From year ago to the month prior to now I looked at my reflection, wishing that I could punch myself, yell at myself for that idiocy I committed, wished I could erase my life and start anew or give it up alltogether. Self-scorn was my everyday companion As for suicide, some time ago was the first time in my life when I was prescribed antidepressants due to grim thoughts and suicidal fantasies. Currently the situation is shifting slowly. Slowly, but shifting. It seems like blinding anger and hollowness of depression is just the second stage of this situation, and it means... that victory and emotional lightness are on this path too!! Keep up the good work! We're all soldiers now ?
  9. Hello, real world.? I'm a 4th year student of linguistics, and - really - only now I see how lucky I was to learn english. It's this skill that ultimately opened my eyes about gaming. As every one of you here, I realised (a year ago) that, in my case, I gave away my childhood for games. The realization left me depressed, desperate and truly horrified. Since then I gave up most of the games, only returning to them in the moments of boredom, nostalgia or when playing with friends. The real challenge began now, with doing something else other than gaming. There is no more "pat on the head" for my actions. No +100 points for moping the floor, no +1500 EXP for finding out what to do after I graduate.. I distract myself from difficult tasks and unresolved problems with Youtube and social media which still happens now. It's almost like watching it or social media or some ero/porn is my brain's number one priority, it is more appealing than almost anything I do at home. Lastly, it feels like I just can't bring myself even TO THINK about my problems.. it's tough, uncomfortable, takes away time i could spend gaming away happily thehehe ? Reasons to quit were: stop regretting the time spent on gaming in the future, find hobbies that bring enjoyment, development and growth, to start looking for meaning in my life. All that time I was moving alone. It's only now that I see that no man is an island. Recently started the Respawn book an one of its steps was to sign up and say hello) I hope to get into your likeminded community and see how other people tackled this part of the journey. Also, to get some support and advice. Mostly on how to not submit to the urge of ditching a hard task for watching youtube or social media. How to not prefer youtube over literally anything that's mildly difficult or not so entertaining (even hobbies like drawing, reading books). Don't know much about the forum though ? Wish you all a great day and engaging conversations
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